WHO PAYS FOR ALL THE PLANE TICKETS

[morocco4ever 63]

How convenient for Mr. Morocco to be able to wrap up taking your wife's money and refusing to call her as just the way a Muslim man is. Don't worry, American sweeties, your man is supposed to be an inconsiderate ####### and you're supposed to give him all your cash. If you don't do that, you're not respecting your man.

In other news, I'm selling bridges. Come on.

I rarely agree with Pezey, but I do remember reading that the Muslim man's responsible to take care of his wife financially, and her money is for her to spend as she pleases. My husband confirms this as well. But for us, both his and my money is ours. This works for us, and each couple has a right to do it the way they see fit, regardless of what culture they belong too.

But when he leaves her for hours on end when she is there to be with his buddies, come on now. That is just plain wrong. If my husband did that it would literally ruin our marriage because I am a firm believer that a husbands place is next to his wife, and a wifes place is next to her husband. We go out as a couple, and no one is left behind. Once in a while is one thing, but come on, every night? She isn't his dog nor his slave, she is his wife. That alone deserves respect. There is no excuse for this kind of behavior.

[peezey 0]

That said, this is not about the money, it's about the relationship, imho. If there is genuine trust in the relationship, both will see the money as shared, and he will not pressure you into a financial situation that stresses you out this much (besides, my understanding is that debt is not acceptable in Islam).

Money is not "shared" in muslim relationships. Men are responsible for their family's expenses and women spend their money as they please.

Peezy what do you know about muslim marriage you dont know nothing .. you are just talking from the way u see things but let me tell you ...

Its not wrong for a female to help her husband in time of needs ... Men if they have money they will take ntheir wives to buy golds instead of putting the money on their account and in return .. in males time of need because the wife can be veryyyy caring and i mean that ... --Im very glad that my wife she have all of that as a muslim woman -Even sometimes she still mention the past - but its the culture as human--- . to seel her gold to help him out because she know that once he will step up on the time of needs he will buy her all what she lost and even more ... because that is what make the marriage work .. so please before putting more oil on a fire ... go to a library and read about a muslim marriages .. Yes I agree the men can do all the expenses.. Not because he have to but he wants to do that because it is all about a pride .. and theres nothing wrong for the wife to help her husband in time of needs and its a islam rules as well ... but to tell u the truth peezy your way of thinking about things makes me worried about your husband ..

Goodness is this guy for real? Like the kind of muslim marriage where you knock your fiance up before you even get to the US? is that the kind that you know about? If you have a lot of extra time on your hands, please do worry about my husband, because I don't baby him, but it's nice that you will.

[peezey 0]

I have something to say about this topic ..... Are you getting mad because you feel you are buying a husband .? are you feeling upset because you are supporting your love ?.... Ok !!!

I would like to say to those that the feel its already a scam... MOVE ON . Why are u still beeing with your love ? OR U cant , huh ? Let me just tell you something ... You have no respect for your love for your man .. because other wise you will not get amd at the whole situation from the begining and you still even seen how he will react once he will have a stabe work and a stable salary ... you are getting mad at a situation you put your self onto it .. and no one forced you to buy a ticket or send money .. SO i would like to say move on because your mariage will not lust .. Move on because it will be always a fight and always putting him down like he is a small ###### walking this earth .. You are buying a husband thats what you think .. . Oh dear that is a very bad way of thinking and u r already just in the begining ... I can tell ya why he dont wanna talk to you as much as before .. because he doesnt need a reminder each time of beeing a small insect needs help from you or beeing like a cat walking around your legs waiting to get food ...

I would like to mention That the right ... Supporting a husband that he doesnt have a job ... It's a sign of a good wife , caring and a loving one ....

Think about your husband as he is a part of you . Think about supporting him as you putting your mony on your saving account .. because no man will forget what his wife will do for him ... and let me tell you ... you Probably didt spend more than $ 10.000 , and if you gonna put your husband down because of that then i am sorry i wish i can know who is your husband so i can tell him find a way to get what you spent on him and give it back to you and then move on ... we might be from a poor countries .. but our pride is priceless .

I don't even know where to start with this one.

You dont have to know how to start .. because this is not for you ... because you are just like peezy ... and other ugly mouth .. And i want to ask you ... From a very very long time a been asking my self ... how your husband and peezy's husband stand you ? .. So i would like to ask you directly now .

This guy is hilarious.

My husband feels the same way I do about anything I post. In fact, he thinks MENA VJ is a sickness and really would prefer it would go away. Thanks for asking, you are such a doll.

[peezey 0]

How convenient for Mr. Morocco to be able to wrap up taking your wife's money and refusing to call her as just the way a Muslim man is. Don't worry, American sweeties, your man is supposed to be an inconsiderate ####### and you're supposed to give him all your cash. If you don't do that, you're not respecting your man.

In other news, I'm selling bridges. Come on.

I rarely agree with Pezey, but I do remember reading that the Muslim man's responsible to take care of his wife financially, and her money is for her to spend as she pleases. My husband confirms this as well. But for us, both his and my money is ours. This works for us, and each couple has a right to do it the way they see fit, regardless of what culture they belong too.

thanks, and you don't have to feel bad agreeing with me on this one, because I didn't make it up, I was simply stating Islamic law. People can figure out what they do in the privacy of their own bank accounts, I of course, was only referring to those insisting that it's normal and traditional to comingle finances when it is not. It isn't even normal to do so in western society until recently and still isn't normal to do in European societies where people aren't really getting married as often yet are in long term relationships.

But according to Mr Morocco, men from poor countries deserve to be bought, boo-hoo, so I guess someone needs to do some research, write a dissertation, and get the Nobel Prize in Economics for this brilliant new line of thought.

[Henia 11]

Esalaam/Salut/Hello

My husband nor I are either wealthy or poor. But my husband is the man, so of course he is maintainer. For my all my visit so far he has paid for the tickets with some money for spending on the way and gifts. While I have paid for the visas. Buuut this time, since he took ill for several months and did not work, he is only able to give me couple hundred euros, which I gave back. I told him to use it for the house and things we will be needing come winter. I am putting up the money for tickets and visas and gifts this time. I do not have a endless bank account (like I am sure most others here, but I do have enough skills where I found myself a quick job and took out of my investments ... in the end money matters little, compared to my family.) FAMILY COMES FIRST !!!

I understand some couples do their thing differently, it all depends on the dymanics of the relation and the funds availible. Elhamdullah my husband does have a position that pays very well so we have (other then the time he was in the hospital) have no financial issues. He is also elhamdullah very well set in knowing and doing his duties. And after all HE is the one that invitied me to visit and live with him, so naturally he pays. Maybe if I invited him to my (birth) country it would be different... but I think it would be a long stretch on that maybe.

As far as I am concerned I give him what he requires in *other* areas, so he can, should and does provide me what the God willed as mine. And as far as he is concerned, he is very macho like that and would never ever take a dinar from me. Actually the few times, I do have pay for things, like gifts for his family (which I would do anyway), and giving change to him when we are out... he later will re-embruse (sp?) me twice what it actually was. I know from his side its something his parents and culture instills in him.

But if push come to shove, I would in the end (as he is my husband, my family) pay for anything... But on a side-note if we were just engaged or did not live together I definately would not pay for zip! And like I said before, each situation and couple is different. No one walks in your shoes, but you! So I just hate when ppl get flamed for posting their situation. If you pay for your SO or they pay for you...whatever. I think in the end, we all do our own share (whether it be paying for things, doing domestic duties, or just being their support, etc) ... I think there is no set formula.

And that is my humble opinion~

[Henia 11]

And a PS at the end, Mr.Morrocco... Sorry to say but as most men in this forum are Muslim and should enchallah be following Islam.... I would hope none are asking or telling their women to support them. Cos first of all, if the man is normal and able bodied, I see NO reason why he cannot work, even if it is sh!ty job selling tea and peanuts on the corner. For me, as I and others here, have discussed soooo many others times is NOT the amount of money the man makes, but the efforts, pride and honour he has doing it.

I know if my man worked at a halal, honest job but only made a few thousands dinars yes of course, I would help with the tickets, visas but only then. I surely not pay his way or anything whenn I was with him. If he couldnt save up that much, then surely nothing I have to do with him.

I do not know you or your kind, but you strangely sound like a gold-digger. I see a lack of honour in your words. The only honour in a wife taking care of her husband financially, is if he were sick ... but any other time he would just be a plan loser. The wife's duty in caring for her man is in the home. That is why Islam gave her the right, since men usually in MENA work outside to bring money in the home. This is called maintainence, remember? Even if women do work, Islamically they DO NOT have give their money to the home or husband. Elhamdullah. I think it is fair trade. I suggest you re-read your Fiqh, prehaps a book called the Reliance of a Traveller... to brush up on that what you should already know. May Allah help you. amin

[allousa 1]

I have something to say about this topic ..... Are you getting mad because you feel you are buying a husband .? are you feeling upset because you are supporting your love ?.... Ok !!!

I would like to say to those that the feel its already a scam... MOVE ON . Why are u still beeing with your love ? OR U cant , huh ? Let me just tell you something ... You have no respect for your love for your man .. because other wise you will not get amd at the whole situation from the begining and you still even seen how he will react once he will have a stabe work and a stable salary ... you are getting mad at a situation you put your self onto it .. and no one forced you to buy a ticket or send money .. SO i would like to say move on because your mariage will not lust .. Move on because it will be always a fight and always putting him down like he is a small ###### walking this earth .. You are buying a husband thats what you think .. . Oh dear that is a very bad way of thinking and u r already just in the begining ... I can tell ya why he dont wanna talk to you as much as before .. because he doesnt need a reminder each time of beeing a small insect needs help from you or beeing like a cat walking around your legs waiting to get food ...

I would like to mention That the right ... Supporting a husband that he doesnt have a job ... It's a sign of a good wife , caring and a loving one ....

Think about your husband as he is a part of you . Think about supporting him as you putting your mony on your saving account .. because no man will forget what his wife will do for him ... and let me tell you ... you Probably didt spend more than $ 10.000 , and if you gonna put your husband down because of that then i am sorry i wish i can know who is your husband so i can tell him find a way to get what you spent on him and give it back to you and then move on ... we might be from a poor countries .. but our pride is priceless .

I don't even know where to start with this one.

You dont have to know how to start .. because this is not for you ... because you are just like peezy ... and other ugly mouth .. And i want to ask you ... From a very very long time a been asking my self ... how your husband and peezy's husband stand you ? .. So i would like to ask you directly now .

This guy is hilarious.

My husband feels the same way I do about anything I post. In fact, he thinks MENA VJ is a sickness and really would prefer it would go away. Thanks for asking, you are such a doll.

So why do you continue to post on VJ...if you find it distasteful? Is insulting people ad nausem some kind of sport for you? I find your holier than thou attitude...well...hmmm...repugnant.

Most of us are here to just get along, get some answers and help each other going through tough situations. It would be respectful that those who wish to argue, not just you Peezy, honor that.

Let this topic go!

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

[balmytigeress 0]

Hey wom, when I threw my back out both times in 2005, it sure would have been nice to have a computer setup like that!

Edited July 3, 2007 by balmytigeress

[doodlebug 3]

how does he pee?

[peezey 0]

So why do you continue to post on VJ...if you find it distasteful? Is insulting people ad nausem some kind of sport for you? I find your holier than thou attitude...well...hmmm...repugnant.

Most of us are here to just get along, get some answers and help each other going through tough situations. It would be respectful that those who wish to argue, not just you Peezy, honor that.

Let this topic go!

Did you get a badge with your position as Posting Police Officer?

You should definitely follow your own advice let it go if it's meaningless to you.

Edited July 3, 2007 by peezey

[sarah and hicham 3]

I have something to say about this topic ..... Are you getting mad because you feel you are buying a husband .? are you feeling upset because you are supporting your love ?.... Ok !!!

I would like to say to those that the feel its already a scam... MOVE ON . Why are u still beeing with your love ? OR U cant , huh ? Let me just tell you something ... You have no respect for your love for your man .. because other wise you will not get amd at the whole situation from the begining and you still even seen how he will react once he will have a stabe work and a stable salary ... you are getting mad at a situation you put your self onto it .. and no one forced you to buy a ticket or send money .. SO i would like to say move on because your mariage will not lust .. Move on because it will be always a fight and always putting him down like he is a small ###### walking this earth .. You are buying a husband thats what you think .. . Oh dear that is a very bad way of thinking and u r already just in the begining ... I can tell ya why he dont wanna talk to you as much as before .. because he doesnt need a reminder each time of beeing a small insect needs help from you or beeing like a cat walking around your legs waiting to get food ...

I would like to mention That the right ... Supporting a husband that he doesnt have a job ... It's a sign of a good wife , caring and a loving one ....

Think about your husband as he is a part of you . Think about supporting him as you putting your mony on your saving account .. because no man will forget what his wife will do for him ... and let me tell you ... you Probably didt spend more than $ 10.000 , and if you gonna put your husband down because of that then i am sorry i wish i can know who is your husband so i can tell him find a way to get what you spent on him and give it back to you and then move on ... we might be from a poor countries .. but our pride is priceless .

I don't even know where to start with this one.

You dont have to know how to start .. because this is not for you ... because you are just like peezy ... and other ugly mouth .. And i want to ask you ... From a very very long time a been asking my self ... how your husband and peezy's husband stand you ? .. So i would like to ask you directly now .

This guy is hilarious.

My husband feels the same way I do about anything I post. In fact, he thinks MENA VJ is a sickness and really would prefer it would go away. Thanks for asking, you are such a doll.

So why do you continue to post on VJ...if you find it distasteful? Is insulting people ad nausem some kind of sport for you? I find your holier than thou attitude...well...hmmm...repugnant.

Most of us are here to just get along, get some answers and help each other going through tough situations. It would be respectful that those who wish to argue, not just you Peezy, honor that.

Let this topic go!

There have been as long as I can remember on VJ many, many debates about Islam and how the Quran can be interpreted. Peezey AND OTHERS have shared what they know about Islam, and yes they have clarified certain points about money in Islamic marriages.

What is wrong with that? Haven't you been a member here long enough to know that there are ALWAYS debates going on in this forum?

Clearly you have a problem with Peezey. She is not the only one here who has corrected others on Islamic marriages which you will see if you read the topic.

[Henia 11]

I have something to say about this topic ..... Are you getting mad because you feel you are buying a husband .? are you feeling upset because you are supporting your love ?.... Ok !!!

I would like to say to those that the feel its already a scam... MOVE ON . Why are u still beeing with your love ? OR U cant , huh ? Let me just tell you something ... You have no respect for your love for your man .. because other wise you will not get amd at the whole situation from the begining and you still even seen how he will react once he will have a stabe work and a stable salary ... you are getting mad at a situation you put your self onto it .. and no one forced you to buy a ticket or send money .. SO i would like to say move on because your mariage will not lust .. Move on because it will be always a fight and always putting him down like he is a small ###### walking this earth .. You are buying a husband thats what you think .. . Oh dear that is a very bad way of thinking and u r already just in the begining ... I can tell ya why he dont wanna talk to you as much as before .. because he doesnt need a reminder each time of beeing a small insect needs help from you or beeing like a cat walking around your legs waiting to get food ...

I would like to mention That the right ... Supporting a husband that he doesnt have a job ... It's a sign of a good wife , caring and a loving one ....

Think about your husband as he is a part of you . Think about supporting him as you putting your mony on your saving account .. because no man will forget what his wife will do for him ... and let me tell you ... you Probably didt spend more than $ 10.000 , and if you gonna put your husband down because of that then i am sorry i wish i can know who is your husband so i can tell him find a way to get what you spent on him and give it back to you and then move on ... we might be from a poor countries .. but our pride is priceless .

I don't even know where to start with this one.

You dont have to know how to start .. because this is not for you ... because you are just like peezy ... and other ugly mouth .. And i want to ask you ... From a very very long time a been asking my self ... how your husband and peezy's husband stand you ? .. So i would like to ask you directly now .

This guy is hilarious.

My husband feels the same way I do about anything I post. In fact, he thinks MENA VJ is a sickness and really would prefer it would go away. Thanks for asking, you are such a doll.

So why do you continue to post on VJ...if you find it distasteful? Is insulting people ad nausem some kind of sport for you? I find your holier than thou attitude...well...hmmm...repugnant.

Most of us are here to just get along, get some answers and help each other going through tough situations. It would be respectful that those who wish to argue, not just you Peezy, honor that.

Let this topic go!

There have been as long as I can remember on VJ many, many debates about Islam and how the Quran can be interpreted. Peezey AND OTHERS have shared what they know about Islam, and yes they have clarified certain points about money in Islamic marriages.

What is wrong with that? Haven't you been a member here long enough to know that there are ALWAYS debates going on in this forum?

Clearly you have a problem with Peezey. She is not the only one here who has corrected others on Islamic marriages which you will see if you read the topic.

Exactly!

[Caladan 19]

And even if, though I doubt it, everyone who has posted is wrong about Islamic marriages.... there's only so much 'but it's his cuuuulllture' can justify. Who the hell cares if he blames his assholish behavior on Islam? Doesn't change the facts of the situation.

[sarah and hicham 3]

And even if, though I doubt it, everyone who has posted is wrong about Islamic marriages.... there's only so much 'but it's his cuuuulllture' can justify. Who the hell cares if he blames his assholish behavior on Islam? Doesn't change the facts of the situation.

No, it sure doesn't change the facts of the situation.

I'm really enjoying hearing that we have to let this debate "go". Good times.