sad weekend

[Satellite 1]

Otherwise they can get themselves in the situation skinsfan has fiduciary descr revenge ibed

What? What does it mean?

Now I am confused. Which part are you confused about?

Guys, be honest to yourself. Would your wife / fiancée still be with you if you were Russian, making a Russian wage, and living in Russia? For example if you met at a café. Ask them if you are not sure. That whole American thing lets the ladies overlook a lot of things. Like age, manners, lack of language, habits, culture, etc.

What did your wife say?

Wissoner, I was born in the former USSR, my wife and I speak the same language fluently (Russian). I have a pretty good grasp of the Russian culture despite living here the last 18 years of my life. I am able to get by in Russia as a local despite having a US passport, mindset, clothing, etc. We are both in the same age group, early 20's. We are both very poor and still students. Today she talks like Blues Fairy and in the past she also wished we'd live in Russia instead. As for love at first sight, perhaps not. Blame the Internet for that. It changes the usual way of meeting. You get to know the person before you get to really interact with them, usually it is the other way around.

[slim 1,523]

Guys, be honest to yourself. Would your wife / fiancée still be with you if you were Russian, making a Russian wage, and living in Russia? For example if you met at a café. Ask them if you are not sure. That whole American thing lets the ladies overlook a lot of things. Like age, manners, lack of language, habits, culture, etc.

I hear these things daily.

I asked my wife, after reading this thread with her, why she's still with me if she complains about all these things daily. Her answer - "because we will see."

I too have a laundry list of complaints, and I guess the answer is the same for me.

We'll see.

[CityCat 0]

Otherwise they can get themselves in the situation skinsfan has fiduciary descr revenge ibed

Now I am confused. Which part are you confused about?

Never mind, I got it now - the highlighted combination of words.

[CityCat 0]

However, despite all our great love we may one day call it quits for one reason or the other. Now, according to this "deport the b@%ch " logic, if after some years we decide to divorce, will I be labeled a scammer unless I move back to my country and start my life from scratch?

It kinda bothers me that immigration - something I consider a sacrifice on my part - is generally considered such a great gift for which we FSU ladies must be eternally grateful.

Yeah, this is the worst thing about it:

a typical male opinion, playing God: "I gave you the GC, I gave you life, and I am free to take it away any time I want!" And it is encouraged by the system to some extend, the whole process of AOS being 100% dependent on the petitioner. This situation dictates positions in the relationship that are not very equal even in the social meaning. That bites big time!

[russ 1]

Yeah, this is the worst thing about it:

And it is encouraged by the system to some extend, the whole process of AOS being 100% dependent on the petitioner. This situation dictates positions in the relationship that are not very equal even in the social meaning. That bites big time!

Well, just about every other country in the world operates with similar rules. The same thing happens to foreign workers when their job ends - no job, no more residency. Or international students who flunk out of school, they are expected to leave as well.

Everything is based on the interest of the petitioner - wouldn't make much sense if it were the other way around.

The alternative would be moving to the US on a non-marriage related visa. L-1 would be the easiest.

[Chuckles 0]

I guess I can add my opinion and experience to this discussion. What the heck!

I think you take a HUGE risk when you are involved in ANY relationship where this is a large discreprency between your two incomes and/or social standings. It is more obvious with the Russian/American relationships because it is the poorer and socially lower Russians who 'advertise'. They do not see any other way to 'climb the ladder' and plan to use a Foreign man to gain this. In some cases, it’s like, so what, who cares? -Such as when a Foreign man is aware of the intent and they are both using each other. It’s what marriage was based on untill very recently humans came up with this strange notion of 'marrying for love'.

In any case, most men on here need to be cautious and understand this. Don't delude yourself with fairy tale endings and such. These stories should serve as warnings. If you accept the risks and don't mind the consequences, by all means, more power to you, forge ahead. If your spouse lies to you, I say screw her, she deserves everything she gets, but on the same hand, you deserve it too for getting played like that. I know that sounds harsh, but it is life.

Might I get played like that? Sure. Have I searched for warning signs? You bet! It comes with the territory. But we were not that different socially and economically speaking, so it lessened the risk. But I didn't put my head in the sand, (as much as I wanted to!). Yes we are "happy". Yes we still "fight". If we didn't i would be more worried. She could leave after removing conditions. Its life. But on the other hand, I didn't go to Russia with intent to get married. Stuff just happens. But I am not going to sit on the sidelines and watch life go by just because there is a "risk".

Good luck to everyone!

[Satellite 1]

The same thing happens to foreign workers when their job ends - no job, no more residency. Or international students who flunk out of school, they are expected to leave as well.

Not exactly. For foreign workers who get their green cards through a US employer, they can quit their jobs the next day. I believe the regulation even lets you quit something like 6 months after filing for employment based AOS. There is no lifting condition stage, etc. There is for people who come over on the 5th preference, $1 million start their own business 10 employees, etc. But those are very rare.

For those here on H, E, or O visas they can secure alternative employment within a certain period without being forced to go home and have the new employer file another I-129 and keep their visa. Students can likewise change status to another non-immigrant or even adjust status through marriage to a USC while in the US.

But K1 holders can't do any of these options. All options without going home involve adjusting through the petitioner.

[russ 1]

Depends on specific cirumstances - an H1-B will need to be sponsored by a new employer generally to move to another job. F-1 students who do not enroll for classes are also out of luck if they have no other way of adjusting status or changing to another visa type.

In my business, there are a large number of Indian immigrants - the H1-B and GC crowds. The H1-Bs often work for substantially lower pay, and are willing to put up with a lot more BS, since it is often difficult for them to find new sponsors. A friend of mine had 22 people working for him, all from India (here in FL). The reason for such a high number of Indians? The employer in question decided to cut the pay for this team basically in half. Every US citizen quit, though the H1-Bs have a lot more to lose by quiting. From what I have seen, most large employers are interested in more H1-Bs not because they can't find employees here, but because they want to drive down salaries. This is having the odd effect of making goverment jobs pay higher than private employers in some sectors, as H1-Bs can not generally get security clearances or be government employees. H1Bs also get tricked into signing employment contracts that americans never would, such as being liable to repay all of their past salary should they change jobs/be fired/etc.

Investing $1 million is also a good option, I know someone who did (he bought a hotel). If you are coming from a wealthy country, this is not so impossible. There are lots of millionaires in the world. The weak US dollar is making a bunch more outside the US every day.

I believe the regulation even lets you quit something like 6 months after filing for employment based AOS. There is no lifting condition stage, etc. There is for people who come over on the 5th preference, $1 million start their own business 10 employees, etc. But those are very rare.

For those here on H, E, or O visas they can secure alternative employment within a certain period without being forced to go home and have the new employer file another I-129 and keep their visa. Students can likewise change status to another non-immigrant or even adjust status through marriage to a USC while in the US.

But K1 holders can't do any of these options. All options without going home involve adjusting through the petitioner.

[slim 1,523]

I think I've talked to about half those guys when I called the help desk.

Me: "Hello, I have no internet service."

Guy on phone with thick Indian accent: "It is no problem sir. Just log on to our website at...."

Me: "HELLLLLLLLLOOOO, I have no internet service!"

Actually, I'm usually pretty impressed by these guys. They seem very knowledgeable and most speak excellent English. They're going to be the downfall of uneducated Americans. A college educated Indian (or similarly educated foreigner) will work for less than what an uneducated American will. And since we're becoming increasingly more high-tech, guess who's going to get the jobs?

[russ 1]

If you are speaking with them on the phone, chances are they are still in India. A buddy of mine

flies over there doing this for American companies. Call centers are set up there, though they pretend to be in America on the phone.

The biggest problem with Indian H1-Bs (for some reason, most H1-Bs are from India) is that it is very

difficult to check references. Many come through staffing firms, and these recruiters are not known

for honesty in marketing their clients. There are rumors of grossly exaggerated resumes of many of these

engineers. I don't know how true this is.

The quality of Indian engineers from US Universities I deal with tends to be much higher than H1-Bs (i.e., equal to American and European ones)

Well, back to losing my shirt day trading... Intraday $INDU futures are killing me.

Me: "Hello, I have no internet service."

Guy on phone with thick Indian accent: "It is no problem sir. Just log on to our website at...."

Me: "HELLLLLLLLLOOOO, I have no internet service!"

Actually, I'm usually pretty impressed by these guys. They seem very knowledgeable and most speak excellent English. They're going to be the downfall of uneducated Americans. A college educated Indian (or similarly educated foreigner) will work for less than what an uneducated American will. And since we're becoming increasingly more high-tech, guess who's going to get the jobs?

[slim 1,523]

Well, back to losing my shirt day trading... Intraday $INDU futures are killing me.

If you want to gamble, I recommend Blackjack.

Edited: I almost forgot about the topic here. (Blackjack makes my mind wander the same way BBQ, good beer, and pu.... anyway) Yes, the Indian guys on the phone are usually in India. I know they're doing a lot of work out of South America as well, but it's the same basic deal. Call 800 number, get transferred to foreign country call center. The funniest ones for me though are the ones right here in the U.S. in places like North Dakota. Talk about a funny accent! I can better understand most Indians, don'cha know!

Edited August 2, 2007 by slim

[Thomas-n-Elena 0]

No slim youve got that wrong you are calling North Dakota, the company built a call center there and its staffed by indians I believe they are Sioux but I dont know my tribes that well.

[slim 1,523]

No slim youve got that wrong you are calling North Dakota, the company built a call center there and its staffed by indians I believe they are Sioux but I dont know my tribes that well.

Reminds me of Jay-Z's lyrics "aksed her which tribe she wit' - red dot or feather...."

and the movie Good Will Hunting (which I first saw in North Dakota) where Robin Williams is talking to the other dude "Indian..... feathers, not dots."

Silly Columbus.

[Thomas-n-Elena 0]

When my wife and I were walking through a museum she asked me what we call them, I told her indians, she said no they are not from india, I replied tell that to columbus, she asked who he was. Sometimes I forget she doesnt know any american history, which is why movies like blazing saddles make no sense to her.

[Blues Fairy 0]

I replied tell that to columbus, she asked who he was. Sometimes I forget she doesnt know any american history

Pardon me but Columbus is not just American history. Every school kid in Russia knows about the Great Discoveries and all. Did your wife go to school?