Wedding Dates

[msu17 0]

Great to hear that everything is working out for you! We are thinking of doing something similar in December (if he has AP by then). Hope its a wonderful time!

Gratz to you who are so close! Yay!

I guess we're doing it backwards as far as the weddings go. The religious ceremony in Germany will include all of P's family and quite a few of my friends and family. Even thoguh we'll be doing the "real" wedding in Seattle later. We didn't like the idea of splitting it, but there was no way his very large and very close family could all be in Seattle for the legal ceremony. This way, his family gets to be involved and we don't have to worry about timelines. If his visa isn't approved by the time we do the ceremony in Germany, it's not that big of a deal, because I can come home and we'll wait. If it is, then we haven't broken any laws because religious ceremonies in Germany aren't legal.

This won't work for all couples, but because of the logistical issues surrounding his family's presence, this seemed like the best route for us.

I think it's different for everyone. This isn't my first wedding and we aren't wealthy, so a huge affair isn't an option for us anyway....

[CarlaM 0]

What a fantastic birthday gift!!

The best!! buuuut i was thinking, if we did it on my birthday, i wont get 2 presents in the next years, only one lol

[CarlaM 0]

it seems after all, I will be there 4 my birthday, and probably hve the wedding on the same day

Just an update for us as well... We are sending back packet 3 tomorrow and expecting an interview in the next month or two. So I've put money down for our cake, which we can't move and put $ down for the hall which we can move. Since we are doing it on a Thursday evening, everything is available and a lot less than on a weekend. All the people I really want at the wedding can make it on a weekday, so that is the perfect compromise for us.

That is a great idea!!!, personaly i think it is easier for a lot of people to asist on a weekday than a weekend. I hope you get your interview date soon!!!

[TimsDaisy 0]

This is certainly an option, but I am so looking forward to the whole nervousness of "this is it - im getting married". But getting married legally beforehand it is such an anticlimax and what - do you go to the court house and then go home and eat afterwards like it was just another errand you had to do? and then when you do have your big ceremony - it isn't a big deal because you are already married!

I'm kinda offended at how you wrote that. MANY VJers do it this way, because we have to. Guess what, it's not ideal, but hey, life's not fair! In no way was it anti-climactic. As one VJer has said, having the hoopla first (because you had to have a 'wedding' & didn't get your visa in time) and then having to go home & wait for your visa, only to later do the ceremony (at a courthouse, as just another errand) is more of a letdown than doing legal first then a big wedding.

He moved here, we did the legal thing first, and had my family there & had a lovely dinner that night & hotel stay. It was most definitely not 'another errand' we had to do. He planned the wedding with me, while we waited for the GC papers. He helped me make things for the wedding & was very much more a part of it than planning ti while he lived abroad.

Then we planned the big wedding which was just as fun as I expect a "this is it - im getting married" experience.

This may be like a week old, but I can't let it go without a rebuttal, since the thread is now back up in the ranks anyway.

I'm constantly amazed at the way people view how others view their own wedding plans around here.

The government, for all its emphasis on legitimate relationships and minting shiny new Americans seems doesn't seem to give too poos about allowing K1 couples to marry in anything approaching the same sort of cultural traditions as our other American friends, our parents, etc. . . . . .

As devilette says, nothing about it is fair and we have to make allowances for the legal requirements of our marriages and our fiance/e's ability to stay in the country.

But to say you are "offended" when the rest of the comment is slamming the way others feel about the order of operations we mostly have to split up just baffles me.

As far as I'm concerned - BOTH WAYS are anti-climactic. No one will persuade me otherwise. When the day(s) of the events come, I'm sure I will scrub from my mind the sadness I feel at having to sacrifice parts of the process that other people don't have to worry about. But for now, as I look down the not-so-distant road at splitting up things, I'm pissed off. And I'm especially pissed at the notion that those who do their big-to-do prior to the legal requirement are the real wrong-uns in the equation. I don't think it is devilette's assertion alone - I've seen it elsewhere.

EVERYONE here has to make HIS OR HER OWN peace with the situation.

No one should get his/her panties in a bunch over whatever anyone else says about how they make that peace. If you did it a certain way and it worked for you, then bless you both and may you enjoy your life together. MANY people, however, would view the religious/family ceremony as the real deal, while seeing the legal requirement as getting in the way. I know I do.

For our situation, we have added complications that probably don't to 99.9% of the people here (stemming from my religion and his previous marriage and the fact that my religion doesn't like that he was previously married) - so I'm tearing my hair (and my heart) out trying to get TWO bureaucracies worked out: the Feds and the Catholic Church. If I want a church wedding, I most likely have to wait A YEAR from when he gets here. So we'll have to have some stupid legal ceremony first. That's MY opinion on it. But I would never tell anyone else that his/her view of the ceremonies is wrong. For me, it feels awful. For others it is between the couple, their family, and God, if they worry about that sort of thing.

So I'm not offended at the idea that one can split the legal and ceremonial bits, but I'm offended that anyone is made to feel "wrong" or worried about how they express very real, very heartfelt concerns.

For me, the two wedding situation just doesn't work. It's going to have to be how it is, but it will never, ever, be okay. For me.

[no name 1]

This may be like a week old, but I can't let it go without a rebuttal, since the thread is now back up in the ranks anyway.

Of course you can't.

[TimsDaisy 0]

Not when you say such letter-of-the-law things about other people's plans all in the name of defending the way you did things. Makes my eyes cross.

[robburnsefc 0]

We actually have went ahead and booked things (against all of the advise of every single person on here), but all of the vendors we chose are ones that will reschedule for no fees. Of course picking a new date would be a nightmare, but hey - that's only gambling a bit of stress, not thousands of $$$. All of the people we've ended up going with are very understanding. Like you say - our road to the alter is MUCH different than most.

I'm still hoping with all my heart that he's here by mid-August. Whether or not it happens remains to be seen. If London keeps up the current pace and CSC goes back to work - it very well may. Then again - if not - no airlines book for his family or anything like that. The dress will work regardless if it's a month or so late - it's always damn hot in Texas. Worse case scenario - an extra alteration there.

We're waiting to order invitations until closer to time. Truth is we'd already ordered them once and had to toss them because we changed venues for the reception. ALL weddings have stress, but HA! most brides have no idea, right ladies?

I did it. See some thread that took over the world when I started to panic. I am still panicking! But we have resolved to go ahead one way or the other with the planned wedding for a whole host of reasons. My fingers are tightly crossed as we speak as I am counting down to the end of July. If I had found VJ just a week earlier I would NEVER have planned the whole deal.

I dont know what is/was worse - the worry, or the scorn that is poured from a great height on this forum for doing it!

[MM_MS 0]

Hi Converse,

It's sooo tempting to start making plans, seeing what things cost, asking which dates are open, etc. It's a slippery slope, though.

I think making plans and looking around is great. Personally, I wouldn't make reservations or leave deposits until the visa is in hand. Delays occur for no explicable reason. And you don't want to wake up one morning having to call family and friends to tell them there's been a change of plans b/c the visa hasn't arrived. There could even be an administrative review after the interview. (gulp) You just never know. I think you got it right -- it is best to wait.

MM and MS

So how many of you out there have booked a wedding without yet being approved and how much time do you have left to get the K1?

I am so tempted to start booking things - but I know it is best to wait... ugh!

[Dan&Tiffany 0]

I did it. See some thread that took over the world when I started to panic. I am still panicking! But we have resolved to go ahead one way or the other with the planned wedding for a whole host of reasons. My fingers are tightly crossed as we speak as I am counting down to the end of July. If I had found VJ just a week earlier I would NEVER have planned the whole deal.

I dont know what is/was worse - the worry, or the scorn that is poured from a great height on this forum for doing it!

Best of luck to you both! You know...if it makes the two of you happy - I think it's absolutely perfect! Don't let others' opinions of your decision get to you. It's YOUR wedding and YOUR decision. No one else's opinion means a damn in this one!

[no name 1]

I did it. See some thread that took over the world when I started to panic. I am still panicking! But we have resolved to go ahead one way or the other with the planned wedding for a whole host of reasons. My fingers are tightly crossed as we speak as I am counting down to the end of July. If I had found VJ just a week earlier I would NEVER have planned the whole deal.

I dont know what is/was worse - the worry, or the scorn that is poured from a great height on this forum for doing it!

Best of luck to you both! You know...if it makes the two of you happy - I think it's absolutely perfect! Don't let others' opinions of your decision get to you. It's YOUR wedding and YOUR decision. No one else's opinion means a damn in this one!

It's about losing $$/deposits, not opinions.

[Dan&Tiffany 0]

I did it. See some thread that took over the world when I started to panic. I am still panicking! But we have resolved to go ahead one way or the other with the planned wedding for a whole host of reasons. My fingers are tightly crossed as we speak as I am counting down to the end of July. If I had found VJ just a week earlier I would NEVER have planned the whole deal.

I dont know what is/was worse - the worry, or the scorn that is poured from a great height on this forum for doing it!

Best of luck to you both! You know...if it makes the two of you happy - I think it's absolutely perfect! Don't let others' opinions of your decision get to you. It's YOUR wedding and YOUR decision. No one else's opinion means a damn in this one!

It's about losing $$/deposits, not opinions.

There again, their decision. I'm sure they know the risks involved. They've been repeated time and time again on this thread.

[no name 1]

There again, their decision. I'm sure they know the risks involved. They've been repeated time and time again on this thread.

I was replying to this post of yours:

Don't let others' opinions of your decision get to you. It's YOUR wedding and YOUR decision. No one else's opinion means a damn in this one!

The initial post asked for opinions on booking things (ie. losing $$ if the visa does not come thru).

Edited May 30, 2007 by devilette

[Dan&Tiffany 0]

So how many of you out there have booked a wedding without yet being approved and how much time do you have left to get the K1?

I am so tempted to start booking things - but I know it is best to wait... ugh!

Sounds to me like they were asking what other were doing. Not what they should do. You guys, as always, were great to share experiences, etc., but PLEASE don't be so judgmental of what others decide to do with that information. You really are a great resource of knowledge, but once the facts are on the table - it's up to each of us what to do with them. We all do things a little bit differently, that's what makes this site so great - the diversity on it. Yeah, pre-booking is risky. If I wasn't a BIT of a risk-taker, I never would have met Dan, and he's the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me.

I was just responding to the comment made about "the worry, or the scorn" that robburnsefc made, and trying to be supportive of the decision made.

[Converse34 1]

So, I think I have decided that I will probably start making serious plans once we have secured an interview date. I received NOA2 last week (which is about a month earlier than I thought it would come through, based on current timelines). If he has his interview at the end of July/August, I think booking a late October/early Nov wedding date will be safe enough.

I know it is still is a bit of a risk - but I think as long as we are well prepared, everything should go smoothly. I am planning on having a 200+ wedding with people from all over the world - so I really would need to start booking things. I would hate to wait so long and cant find a venue, etc.

[Dan&Tiffany 0]

So, I think I have decided that I will probably start making serious plans once we have secured an interview date. I received NOA2 last week (which is about a month earlier than I thought it would come through, based on current timelines). If he has his interview at the end of July/August, I think booking a late October/early Nov wedding date will be safe enough.

I know it is still is a bit of a risk - but I think as long as we are well prepared, everything should go smoothly. I am planning on having a 200+ wedding with people from all over the world - so I really would need to start booking things. I would hate to wait so long and cant find a venue, etc.

Best of luck to you! Hope all goes smoothly.