Violence Against Women Act and me

[slim 1,514]

Go Bengals!!! WHO DEY! WHO DEY! WHO DEY think gonna beat them Bengals?

Throwin salt on a man's team.... that's just mean! So I say a little something here about the mindless hotties, and you gotta bash my boys? Come on! That's a low blow!

So, anyway, back on the off-topic of the original topic. The situation here is what it is. Americans have certain stereotypes and even though they're usually wrong, due to lack of understanding, education and experience, they stick to them. During the Cold War, there was a view held that Russian women were strong laborers that smoked and drank and had a lot of kids to support the Mother Land. (They were also all named Olga and wore scarves on their heads like babooshkas, everywhere they went.) Then, in 1989, we started to get a small glimpse of what they were really like. In '91 we got an even better look. However, most Americans didn't see what those of us on this forum saw, like the mindless hotties (trophy wives) that we're now married to, they saw the babooshkas standing in line for bread. Then about 9 years later, after the Internet got really popular, they heard about all the babooshka's grand-daughters being "offered up for sale" on websites where "loser" American guys could "buy" them through a mail-order scheme.

And that's about it.

That's all the average American knows about Russia. Some may know where Moscow is and maybe even remember the Afghan invasion. But, to the average American, Russia is cold and dark, there's not much electricity, and everyone is still standing in those lines for bread. If you've seen Borat, you know how the "stereotypical FSU" person lives. Russia is only "slightly nicer" than Kazakhstan.

Those of us on this forum realize the reality of this is "slightly" different. We also realize that most of those generalizations are made and held by people with no experience in Russia and no actual knowledge of or interaction with Russian people.

Now, flip that around. What did you hear/think about Americans before you got here? And also, what kind of generalizations can you still have, now that you've been here for a while? Some of the stuff is true, is it not?

With grouping FSU women into one category or another, I'm doing nothing more than stating the obvious. (And probably adding a little sarcasm in there as well! Maybe even a pun or two.) There are obvious things about women and men, then there are also other obvious things about Russian women and men and American women and men. We can make generaliztions on this forum, becuase they exist.

And to any woman out there (from anywhere) try to keep in mind that when men respect you "professionally" or otherwise, they don't just respect your work or abilities. They respect your "talent."

[russ 1]

Go Bengals!!! WHO DEY! WHO DEY! WHO DEY think gonna beat them Bengals?

My Patriots have had a few good seasons in the past few years... More importantly, New York is still 8 games out, with Boston just shy of 700. Even paying the Rocket 28 mil, he probably will not win more than 12 games. His half-season paycheck is more than the Mighty Tampa Bay Devil Ray's entire payroll.

So, anyway, back on the off-topic of the original topic. The situation here is what it is. Americans have certain stereotypes and even though they're usually wrong, due to lack of understanding,

Americans do not have a monopoly on this. Germans think that all Americans are from Texas. (Always asking about my guns, pickup truck and cowboy boots). Of course, we think all Germans are from Bavaria. Dallas was a very popular TV export.

not much electricity, and everyone is still standing in those lines for bread.

Actually, Russia is one the largest per capita producers of electricity. The French and Swedes produce about 4 times per capita compared to the US. Russia is also, by far, the least efficient user of electricity when compared against GDP. (Most Russian electricity is wasted in poorly run factories, rather than being "wasted" on all of the power-sucking gadgetry American homes have.)

[Galina 0]

Go Bengals!!! WHO DEY! WHO DEY! WHO DEY think gonna beat them Bengals?

Throwin salt on a man's team.... that's just mean! So I say a little something here about the mindless hotties, and you gotta bash my boys? Come on! That's a low blow!

Sorry, kiddo, I am a Steelers girl! That's who's gonna beat them (and already has a couple of times!)

So, anyway, back on the off-topic of the original topic. The situation here is what it is. Americans have certain stereotypes and even though they're usually wrong, due to lack of understanding, education and experience, they stick to them. During the Cold War, there was a view held that Russian women were strong laborers that smoked and drank and had a lot of kids to support the Mother Land. (They were also all named Olga and wore scarves on their heads like babooshkas, everywhere they went.) Then, in 1989, we started to get a small glimpse of what they were really like. In '91 we got an even better look. However, most Americans didn't see what those of us on this forum saw, like the mindless hotties (trophy wives) that we're now married to, they saw the babooshkas standing in line for bread. Then about 9 years later, after the Internet got really popular, they heard about all the babooshka's grand-daughters being "offered up for sale" on websites where "loser" American guys could "buy" them through a mail-order scheme.

And that's about it.

Thanks for sharing knowledge! You are right on that one!

That's all the average American knows about Russia. Some may know where Moscow is and maybe even remember the Afghan invasion. But, to the average American, Russia is cold and dark, there's not much electricity, and everyone is still standing in those lines for bread. If you've seen Borat, you know how the "stereotypical FSU" person lives. Russia is only "slightly nicer" than Kazakhstan.

Kazakhstan is a nice place, really! Borat is totally exaggeration!

Those of us on this forum realize the reality of this is "slightly" different. We also realize that most of those generalizations are made and held by people with no experience in Russia and no actual knowledge of or interaction with Russian people.

Now, flip that around. What did you hear/think about Americans before you got here? And also, what kind of generalizations can you still have, now that you've been here for a while? Some of the stuff is true, is it not?

Well, I was in a little different position - my first degree is in Foreign Cultures and Psychology, so I had a chance to study the nation and interact with real Americans every once in a while, so I actually knew (well, almost!) what I was getting into. To be honest before this forum (no offense, but...) I've only been pleasantly surprised! I love American men with my whole heart, I think they are very handsome and polite and passionate and tactful. I would only marry an American!

With grouping FSU women into one category or another, I'm doing nothing more than stating the obvious. (And probably adding a little sarcasm in there as well! Maybe even a pun or two.) There are obvious things about women and men, then there are also other obvious things about Russian women and men and American women and men. We can make generaliztions on this forum, becuase they exist.

And to any woman out there (from anywhere) try to keep in mind that when men respect you "professionally" or otherwise, they don't just respect your work or abilities. They respect your "talent."

Why is "talent" in quotation marks? Your regular sarcasm?

I am totally against any kind of generalization, although it is very tempting! (Heck, a sentence before I was complimenting American men IN GENERAL!) Just don't forget that you are generalizing human beings, not cars!

So what about "talent"?

[akdiver 3]

You know - this whole argument is rather senseless (:

Just don't forget that you are generalizing human beings, not cars!

There is no difference, generalization is the same no matter what is being generalized.

Hot tip of the day:

Generalization, stereotypes, and discrimination, are all critical survival skills. Humanity would have died out a long time ago had it not developed these skills. Imagine how long people would survive in the forest if they had to query each and every lion to find out it was a threat. No, instead, at some point, humans figured out that they could make a generalization about lions, and many other creatures, which kept them from getting eaten or maimed. If you see a guy coming at you with a gun pointed at you, will you stop to see what he wants, or perhaps will you make a generalization that he, like all men coming at you with a gun pointed at you, is a threat?

There is certainly nothing wrong with having these skills. How you USE these skills, and how you BEHAVE on the other hand, is a different story. (:

Cheers!

AKDiver

Edited May 15, 2007 by akdiver

[Nancy2015 2]

This was supposed to be a thread aboout VAWA and a marriage that wasn't working. I have a feeling it's got way off topic.

[akdiver 3]

This was supposed to be a thread aboout VAWA and a marriage that wasn't working. I have a feeling it's got way off topic.

Blame the OP for not following up with us. If more original topic info is presented, I'm sure we will be glad to talk about it.

Cheers!

AKDiver

[Turboguy 6]

Go Bengals!!! WHO DEY! WHO DEY! WHO DEY think gonna beat them Bengals?

Throwin salt on a man's team.... that's just mean! So I say a little something here about the mindless hotties, and you gotta bash my boys? Come on! That's a low blow!

Sorry, kiddo, I am a Steelers girl! That's who's gonna beat them (and already has a couple of times!)

A Steeler fan in Floridia. Wow, Now I know there is at least one with good taste here.

As far as Anna Nicole Smith having been a trophy, maybe if you are in your 90's.

I have to agree with Voyager, FSU is a common expression in most forums which is easier than saying " a woman from Russia, Ukriaine,

Belarus, etc. This is the first time I have seen it offend someone. I know Voyager well and he is a good guy who respects all women and particularly Russian ones.

Talking about sterotypes, I visited an American Romance forum a while back and the gals were talking about romance between AM and RW and it was funny to see all the sterotypes. One of the posts was hilarious. I may see if I can find it and post it here and the other fourm I go to just to see what kind of comments it gets.

[russ 1]

It is the OP's right to to bring this back on topic. Otherwise, it is pretty slow here. There is not a "Russia - Off Topic" area or thread.

Blame the OP for not following up with us. If more original topic info is presented, I'm sure we will be glad to talk about it.

[russ 1]

A Steeler fan in Floridia. Wow, Now I know there is at least one with good taste here.

I'm not a Steelers fan, though they had one of the all-time great teams in the '70s. Now, it does not look to be good next year. New coaching (doesn't happen much there). The second half of the season will be tough - playing Baltimore twice and New England at home. The offensive line isn't happy, and will let Rothlisberger get the ####### beat out of him. Last year they let him take 9 sacks, 27-0. A few weeks later, they let the same thing happen against the same team.

The zone blitz has not been very effective lately (Pittsburgh is really the only team using it), and other than against Cleaveland last year, it has not worked well. It seems to be a very open secret that Pittsburg will be going to a 4-3 as soon as they can anyway.

San Diego, Colts, Pats, Baltimore and Chicago should still be strong teams. (Even with the Bear's offensive problems, the Tampa 2 defense works well. Rex is much better than he gets credit for)

As far as Anna Nicole Smith having been a trophy, maybe if you are in your 90's.

[akdiver 3]

It is the OP's right to to bring this back on topic. Otherwise, it is pretty slow here. There is not a "Russia - Off Topic" area or thread.

Blame the OP for not following up with us. If more original topic info is presented, I'm sure we will be glad to talk about it.

Oh, I quite agree. I wasn't the one complaining (:

Cheers!

AKDiver

[Blues Fairy 0]

Very interesting discussion, and in tune with my current concerns.

But I understand U.S. employers are very reluctant to give long-enough maternity leaves and I don't want to delay having kids.

Marriage can take a lot out of you in the first year. I'm not saying wait to have kids, but starting so fast seems a bit ambitious to me.

I double or triple this. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say that it is foolish for ANY couple to have kids within their first two, if not three, years together. But hey, people do what they want. (:

I'm sure you are right, but for me, the risks of hurrying are far outweighed by those of delaying. That's my reality. We are both mature grown-up people and we know what we want. Besides, I have lived in the States before and my adaptation period will be shorter. But even after one or two years of career, do you think I will be entitled to anything better than 2 weeks of leave? I doubt it.

How would an American gal act in such situation?

[Blues Fairy 0]

That depends how you feel about it. If you feel like a trophy wife, than you are a trophy wife! As simple as that ! If you like it, enjoy! I don't mind it either every once in a while but only when showing me off doesn't conflict with my own life and interests (and comes with new Tiffany, of course! )

Being a trophy wife is boring, been there - done that. It was boring for me even when I was 18. But it's almost inevitable here, since we are all such a great catch (according to Slim, at least) So I did my best to stop it in my family now (well, almost). I much prefer "showing myself off" and don't need any help with it.

Emotional comfort is a big problem, believe me you can't imagine the palette of new feelings you will get when you come and settle down here! I am saying this as a psychologist and from my first-hand experience. So best of luck, but I am telling you, it's not gonna be easy!

Thank you Galina, but you really needn't teach me about the challenges of settling in the US since I have 3 years of life in the US and a few long-term relationships (both in US and Russia) under my belt already. I am fully aware of the difficulties.

And where in my post did you see a statement that I enjoy being a trophy wife? Or were you speaking in general terms? Sorry if I misunderstood. To tell you the truth, now that I re-read your post, I figure it is actually you who secretly enjoy being a trophy wife, though officially you'd prefer to be praised for your (obvious) smarts. (No offense meant!)

[Galina 0]

Thank you Galina, but you really needn't teach me about the challenges of settling in the US since I have 3 years of life in the US and a few long-term relationships (both in US and Russia) under my belt already. I am fully aware of the difficulties.

Didn't mean to teach anything to anybody, especially you! Sorry if have sounded like that - just sharing...

And where in my post did you see a statement that I enjoy being a trophy wife? Or were you speaking in general terms? Sorry if I misunderstood. To tell you the truth, now that I re-read your post, I figure it is actually you who secretly enjoy being a trophy wife, though officially you'd prefer to be praised for your (obvious) smarts. (No offense meant!)

None taken!

Definitely in general terms - some girls really like it! I like attention - I am a Leo, so go figure! But I like it when a man is proud to walk by my side, open doors for me and move chairs not only in posh restaurants but even when nobody sees... I like "breathless admiration" (kidding, of course)

The whole idea of trophy is both sad and flattering... Flattering 'cause you realize how much (that much!!!) you are worth in an objective currency, and sad part is that it is just objective currency... Sort of diminishing...

Thanks for smarts!

[slim 1,514]

My Patriots have had a few good seasons in the past few years...

Yeah, thanks to ex-Bengal Corey Dillon!

Sorry, kiddo, I am a Steelers girl! That's who's gonna beat them (and already has a couple of times!)

I love American men with my whole heart, I think they are very handsome and polite and passionate and tactful. I would only marry an American!

Why is "talent" in quotation marks? Your regular sarcasm?

I am totally against any kind of generalization, although it is very tempting! (Heck, a sentence before I was complimenting American men IN GENERAL!) Just don't forget that you are generalizing human beings, not cars!

So what about "talent"?

Even God hates Pittsburgh. (Seen on a T-Shirt here.)

Are you placing American men into a "category"???

Talent. My little brothers and I used to watch TV (with my mom present) and instead of saying the chicks on TV were hot or sexy or whatever, we'd say they were "talented." The irony of that is most men, when referring to women's "talent" do place a little of their sex appeal in with their abilities. For instance, a woman who works at your office may be just as good at the job as you, but you may be more "talented" because you're better looking. Sure you want to be recognized for your abilities, but your "talent" is what really gets you attention.

[slim 1,514]

It is the OP's right to to bring this back on topic. Otherwise, it is pretty slow here. There is not a "Russia - Off Topic" area or thread.

Blame the OP for not following up with us. If more original topic info is presented, I'm sure we will be glad to talk about it.

I guess this is now the official "Russia off-topic forum."