Frustrated

[Tinker 0]

OH YEAH

Met a couple guys out from Hollywood at the Nationals for his bike club.

One of them was Richard Patrick, from the Terminator 2, I guess, and the Unit.... no one could remember his name, I had to look it up.

[CutienPurg 0]

House looks awesome Tink!!!

Families........UGH.......theyre so selfish sometimes. Rather than be happy for your happiness , theyre more concerned with " what about us".

My daughters godfather just got an awesome job and wonderful opportunity to have a better life for himself and his family. He called to tell us he was leaving and was in tears. I asked how his mom dad and siblings were taking the news and he said " oh pretty badly". He isnt even leaving the country.......just going from Michigan to St Louis. It occured to me while speaking to him what theyre suggesting is that he can only be happy if he's conveniently located to them, otherwise he has to be miserable......and he was.... but if they have to put effort into the relationship it just wont work for them. For frig sake , the road runs both ways.

When I moved to Canada a couple years ago.......for a flippin year....my family had a hissy. How dare IIIIIIIIIIIIII move to another country and even consider uprooting my kids. No one came to visit. When I came back to visit, it was my job to go see them. I moved back to Michigan 2 years ago and my family have been to my house a total of ONCE......for my daughters graduation party....glad Im back

I personally have a different attitude about family than a lot of people anyway. I love them and I would walk 100 miles in the rain to help them ........BUT........I didn't choose them. Im stuck with a group of people who think they have the right to be included in my choices and who want to be free to make their own without others input. My truest family are those who respect my choices, support my decisions and love me in spite of knowing all my faults......those people would be my closest friends, my husband and my kids. Those are the chosen ones. They are not the people my parents gave me and insisted I like.I refuse to be beholden to my siblings and parents. I told my children not long ago that by me going forward and living my life happily and freely , Im giving them the freedom and security of knowingly they have that right to too. My mother goes nowhere, she sits and waits for us to visit and we all feel guilty for living our lives. My father goes all over. He's happy and healthy (for an old guy) and we feel secure knowing he isnt waiting for us. Isnt that a wonderful gift to give your children..........freedom.

well thats my sermon

[lynamon 0]

I absolutely loved your post .. it provided so much clarity for me personally .. you put my own thoughts into words... thank you

[Tinker 0]

Amen CutienPurg

and thanks he's working his butt off

[Len & How 0]

Aaww, I'm so glad you guys addressed this issue.

I got engaged in late December and went back home to my country in early January. It was sooo extremely hard to leave my Bear yet again. And it was even harder because my family (especially my sister and grandparents) didn't show any hint of happiness for me. My sister was like "so you are leaving us?". I almost feel guilty being happy that I'm getting married!!

Fortunately, my mom (who I have a very close relationship with and who is the person whose opinion is the most important for me) is very approving. She knows my Fiance well, likes him and it was actually her who introduced us years ago. To me this is all that matters. When Howard asked her for my hand in marriage when he visited in April, she replied with tears in her eyes that she is happy when I'm happy - wherever on Earth that might be. Which brought tears to my eyes.

I'm doing better these days, but I fear the day when I'm going to say my last goodbyes to my family. They will all be devastated and I'll be the happiest person in the world to go to be with my Love forever...

PS: I just noticed this is the Canada thread, oops. But I'm sure it's the same everywhere in the world...

Edited May 14, 2007 by Len & How

[misa 2]

I think the less than enthused family members probably just don't want to lose the person that is moving away.

I'm in a little bit of a different situation. My family isn't close at all... we get along okay, we're just not close. Only one sister knew I got married and that was after the fact. My parents didn't know I was married OR moving until a month before my interview. They met my husband the day before I left and weren't really concerned I was leaving.

To understand my family a little better... I moved out a month after my 16th birthday and my dad helped me move.

Edited May 15, 2007 by misa

[CutienPurg 0]

I think the less than enthused family members probably just don't want to lose the person that is moving away.

I'm in a little bit of a different situation. My family isn't close at all... we get along okay, we're just not close. Only one sister knew I got married and that was after the fact. My parents didn't know I was married OR moving until a month before my interview. They met my husband the day before I left and weren't really concerned I was leaving.

To understand my family a little better... I moved out a month after my 16th birthday and my dad helped me move.

are we related?

family isn't worth all the hype

[misa 2]

are we related?

family isn't worth all the hype

Maybe we're distant cousins or something!

[misa 2]

Seriously, the conversation went like this when I turned 16.

Me: I'm moving out next month.

Dad: Do you need help moving?

Me:

Conversation when I told my mom I got married and was moving.

Me: So uh, I got married and I'm moving to the U.S. in about a month.

Mom: Do you want that jewellery I'd been saving for your wedding or money? Are you taking your animals?

Me: Um, don't you want to know what his name is and where I'm going?

Mom: I guess so.

Me:

This is so typically my family. They're good folks, just not close.

Edited May 15, 2007 by misa

[CutienPurg 0]

That's tough Misa......gets ya all warm fuzzy I'll bet

my family is a friggin riot.........for awhile........I have sooooooo much fun with them when theyre around..........for awhile. we all like to party, we're all jokers and we laugh and laugh and laugh...........for awhile. THEN someone says something offend someone else. someone voices an opinion on anothers choices and then all bets are off. Jack's gettin a gun, Henry's saying "c'mon hit me punk", Lisa's going " man who's got my dope" , Diane's crying, Dad leaves, Mom probably didnt show up anyway......and then there's me " cant we all just get along?" Then no one talks for another few months til we all forget who's mad at who.

So for Christmas I invite 20 or so of my closest friends. We play games, drink, eat prime rib and laugh and laugh and no one leaves mad.......we may even play cards the next night.

[misa 2]

Nah, it doesn't bother me since I'm used to it! Comes in handy sometimes like, you know, leaving the country and not having to deal with parents giving me guilt!

Ugh, sorry to hear your family gatherings always turn out that way.

Friends for the holidays sounds soooo much better. It's pretty much what I used to do to back in Toronto. Ha! Sounds like I haven't been there in forever but I only left less than 2 months ago!

[Caladan 19]

After we announced that we were engaged, my father discussed nothing with me but my dissertation topic for about four months. Never acknowledged C., never acknowledged I was engaged, changed the subject when I brought it up.

Parents are weird. They'll come around.

[Amanda-Lise 0]

When I first told my parents about my hubby, my mother was absolutely horrified that I met him online, because, you know, the internet is the devil. My dad was neither thrilled nor upset, just somewhere in the middle. My mom steadfastly refused to hear anything about him, get to know him, nothing, until my girls spent part of the summer with them, and spoke frequently about him. Since, she actually gave him a chance, she's come to truly adore him. In the end the only thing she was upset about was not being able to see the kids as often. hopefully your family will come around and be happy for you.

[~Nini~ 2]

Well, winds change.

My mom came home from abroad yesterday, and just asked two things: "How much did the ring cost?" and "Are you really happy?"

*scratches head* Of all the people I expected to have a huge freakout, she was at the top of the list...

[mrsserendipity 0]

well, we grow up with our families but we grow old with our spouses. he's your new family. everyone else will eventually be fine with it. concentrate on your new family, be happy