Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[nyseness 0]

I'm sorry to hear Shauna

Best wishes for Jax and her husband today

Ditto.

Ditto

[morantbaygirl 0]

well ladies i think the end has finally come....mike won't change his ways and when we were fighting this morning he asked me if i was going to call immigration to cancel his AOS and i said i thought about it...he said wow i see it clearly i better start acting right so i can get my green card....and i just let him go at that because that is all i needed to hear to basically confirm what i have been thinking for a month....not sure where to go from here or what i am going to do but it really sucks....

JAX best of luck to you!!

Nannygirl my heart goes out to you. You have to do what's best for you!!!! We are here for you know matter what you decide.

Edited May 3, 2007 by morantbaygirl

[darlene 0]

well ladies i think the end has finally come....mike won't change his ways and when we were fighting this morning he asked me if i was going to call immigration to cancel his AOS and i said i thought about it...he said wow i see it clearly i better start acting right so i can get my green card....and i just let him go at that because that is all i needed to hear to basically confirm what i have been thinking for a month....not sure where to go from here or what i am going to do but it really sucks....

JAX best of luck to you!!

I am so sorry things are not working out. What the heck is wrong with these men??? How quickly they forget where they come from! I am here for you....

[jlvr 1]

Good morning everyone! Good vibes to Jax. Looking forward to hearing good news later today.

Good luck Jax!

I returned home from JA last night and what better welcome home gift than an email from the embassy with news of our interview date of June 19th!!!!! Its like God felt my sadness and wanted to lift me up.....Thank you God for that...thank you.

That's great, finesse, ours is the same date!

what time is yours at? are you attending?

It says 8am, I don't know how realistic that is. I don't think I'll be able to attend, I've got so much going on here. There's no way I could take the necessary days. Especially since I'll be there at the end of this month.

well ladies i think the end has finally come....mike won't change his ways and when we were fighting this morning he asked me if i was going to call immigration to cancel his AOS and i said i thought about it...he said wow i see it clearly i better start acting right so i can get my green card....and i just let him go at that because that is all i needed to hear to basically confirm what i have been thinking for a month....not sure where to go from here or what i am going to do but it really sucks....

JAX best of luck to you!!

I am so sorry things are not working out. What the heck is wrong with these men??? How quickly they forget where they come from! I am here for you....

Ditto, nannygirl. I don't know what I could add.

Edited May 3, 2007 by jlvr

[kimlbs 0]

jlvr....You might consider rescheduling your trip next month to the actually date of interview. It is far better to actually attend the interview. In our case, they asked me most of the questions. Plus, the nerves are so crazy that he really need you at the interview to support him. Just my opinion.......

Shauna-Call me girl......I think the adjustment for many of these men is really hard and they begin to act up . Duane and I had a LONGGGGG talk last night...(considering the fact that we are both stressed about me possibly being pregnant) and he gave me a wonderful view into how he is actually feeling....so let me summarize for everyone so that each of us can learn something (especially for those of you that are in the stages of K-1 still:

So...he said that he came to America with so many expectations of how "foreign" was.....primarily based on what he heard or saw through television....even though I had gone over things a million times with him before he arrived, he says that once he arrived, he finally realized that everything was so different.....poverty to some degree was actually worse in America....our econony requires them to work three times harder than they ever worked back in Jamaica, everything is "on-hold" waiting for our crazy government to push the approved button......as a man, he felt helpless and unable to provide, eveything in the house was "mine" and he did not feel anything was "his home", he was homesick, missed his kids, missed his family, he was starting his life all over in a place where he knows nobody but me and has very little to offer me. This can make any man feel worthless and depressed...they kill their free time by doing studid stuff on the internet, sleeping, eating and basically being depressed while we go on and live our life as usual.....

Sooo....now after 10 months of being in this Country, he has finally started to understand my point of view. Our marriage is the main focus, making money to provide for us as a family and trying to save for all the good things like vacations, "new toys" and having good Christian values. He said that it has taken him months to finally get it....He realizes that the adjustment for both of us has been hard and he has acted extremely selfish at times because he only saw the impact that everything was having on him and NOT me........For the most part, we ALL would be kidding ourselves to think that these men did not see any opportunity in coming to America. There is more opportunity here than in Jamaica but for most of them.....this was not their primary goal or reason for coming...They did fall in love with us and most of these men truly do LOVE us and...they really want it to work out. They just do not know how to make it work in the beginning and it takes an incredibly amount of time, patience and energy......Now. some of you may not have had any of these adjustment problems and I admire you....I KNOW for a fact that Duane loves me to death and we have had some really tough times with this adjustment....this is HARD WORK......

So Miss Shauna.......ONLY YOU know how Mike truly feels about you and maybe you need to step back and really get in touch with those feelings. If you think this can be saved, hang tough......it does get better with time.....Duane has really worked hard to adjust and I would have kicked myself in the butt if I let him leave 4 months ago when I packed his SH.....ITTTT....So...hang in there girl.....

[missjones 0]

Hey Everyone,

I have decided to delete my VJ account today due to some issues from another thread. I strongly believe that some people on this site are very disrespectful and take pleasure in making others feel stupid. This is supposed to be an informational site and no one should feel stupid or be-littled (sp?) in any way. It really upsets me the way posts are being replied to and even when I first joined VJ, I was a little shocked at the way my posts were being answered. I don't like being disrespected, nor do I like to watch others being disrespected. I clearly indicated this in the thread "Do You Treat People The Same As Online" (Off Topic Form) and apparently someone took my comments as well as others as threatening.

So I am going to go to rid myself of this teenage chat room behavior because my “threatening” comments can be prevented if I didn’t come on this site. The last thing I want is for someone to think my 5’4, pregnant body could be threatening, when I can barely stand up in the morning.

Maybe I have anger management issues, but I can only operate based on where I come from, and whether it is online or in person, respect is expected regardless of where the other person is located. People are disrespectful online because they feel that they can be, and I just think it’s rude. And its seriously getting on my nerves.

So I hope everyone has the speediest approvals, I hope all marriages work out, I hope all babies are born healthy (hopefully we are all carrying one) and if you are pregnant I hope you wear a bikini on the beach because our big bellies are adorable! Maybe I will catch you all in JA someday. If do you want to get in touch with me, my email is: jlenoir2003@yahoo.com or lenoirjb@alverno.edu. I check my emails daily. Thanks for all the support, you guys were very helpful.

Mrs. Jones

[finesse 3]

Good morning everyone! Good vibes to Jax. Looking forward to hearing good news later today.

Good luck Jax!

I returned home from JA last night and what better welcome home gift than an email from the embassy with news of our interview date of June 19th!!!!! Its like God felt my sadness and wanted to lift me up.....Thank you God for that...thank you.

That's great, finesse, ours is the same date!

what time is yours at? are you attending?

It says 8am, I don't know how realistic that is. I don't think I'll be able to attend, I've got so much going on here. There's no way I could take the necessary days. Especially since I'll be there at the end of this month.

well ladies i think the end has finally come....mike won't change his ways and when we were fighting this morning he asked me if i was going to call immigration to cancel his AOS and i said i thought about it...he said wow i see it clearly i better start acting right so i can get my green card....and i just let him go at that because that is all i needed to hear to basically confirm what i have been thinking for a month....not sure where to go from here or what i am going to do but it really sucks....

JAX best of luck to you!!

I am so sorry things are not working out. What the heck is wrong with these men??? How quickly they forget where they come from! I am here for you....

Ditto, nannygirl. I don't know what I could add.

Ours is at 7:15am. I didn't even think the place opened til 8. Not sure if I can attend either since I just went for 2 weeks. I was thinking of going once he actually gets the visa for like a 4 day weekend and have a farewell party for him with his family(assuming all goes well). But who knows, anything can happen....

[jlvr 1]

jlvr....You might consider rescheduling your trip next month to the actually date of interview. It is far better to actually attend the interview. In our case, they asked me most of the questions. Plus, the nerves are so crazy that he really need you at the interview to support him. Just my opinion.......

Nope, can't reschedule the trip. There are a bunch of other people going. I'll just have to go over stuff while I'm there with him and hope.

Hey Everyone,

I have decided to delete my VJ account today due to some issues from another thread.

Mrs. Jones

Don't let anyone run you off the board. It's just words on a screen and they can be ignored.

Ours is at 7:15am. I didn't even think the place opened til 8. Not sure if I can attend either since I just went for 2 weeks. I was thinking of going once he actually gets the visa for like a 4 day weekend and have a farewell party for him with his family(assuming all goes well). But who knows, anything can happen....

I don't even know if I would be able to go once he gets the visa. I think I'll just have to settle for getting him at the airport.

[kimlbs 0]

I have decided to delete my VJ account today due to some issues from another thread.

Don't go.......it is why I try to stay close to home..."yardies thread" Everytime I venture into other threads, I get annoyed by all the rude behavior some of these people display......Stay around and do not let them bother you...some of these people have nothing better to do and clearly do not understand the purpose of VJ....

[luvtravlin 0]

Hey Everyone,

I have decided to delete my VJ account today due to some issues from another thread. I strongly believe that some people on this site are very disrespectful and take pleasure in making others feel stupid. This is supposed to be an informational site and no one should feel stupid or be-littled (sp?) in any way. It really upsets me the way posts are being replied to and even when I first joined VJ, I was a little shocked at the way my posts were being answered. I don't like being disrespected, nor do I like to watch others being disrespected. I clearly indicated this in the thread "Do You Treat People The Same As Online" (Off Topic Form) and apparently someone took my comments as well as others as threatening.

So I am going to go to rid myself of this teenage chat room behavior because my “threatening” comments can be prevented if I didn’t come on this site. The last thing I want is for someone to think my 5’4, pregnant body could be threatening, when I can barely stand up in the morning.

Maybe I have anger management issues, but I can only operate based on where I come from, and whether it is online or in person, respect is expected regardless of where the other person is located. People are disrespectful online because they feel that they can be, and I just think it’s rude. And its seriously getting on my nerves.

So I hope everyone has the speediest approvals, I hope all marriages work out, I hope all babies are born healthy (hopefully we are all carrying one) and if you are pregnant I hope you wear a bikini on the beach because our big bellies are adorable! Maybe I will catch you all in JA someday. If do you want to get in touch with me, my email is: jlenoir2003@yahoo.com or lenoirjb@alverno.edu. I check my emails daily. Thanks for all the support, you guys were very helpful.

Mrs. Jones

Are you talking 'bout the Yardie thread??? If so, did "I" miss something? If it's another part of the VJ site, shoot....I wouldn't listen to what some of them say. I go on other threads to try to find information and sometimes I'm just amazed at how rude some folks are. It's UNbelievable!!! We may say things on this Yardie thread, that are from **our** personal experience, but .....someone was very disrespectful and made someone feel stupid ??

I hope you stay, everyones insight is valuable in one way or another !!!!

MINDY WHERE ARE YOU??????????????????????

[luvtravlin 0]

jlvr....You might consider rescheduling your trip next month to the actually date of interview. It is far better to actually attend the interview. In our case, they asked me most of the questions. Plus, the nerves are so crazy that he really need you at the interview to support him. Just my opinion.......

Shauna-Call me girl......I think the adjustment for many of these men is really hard and they begin to act up . Duane and I had a LONGGGGG talk last night...(considering the fact that we are both stressed about me possibly being pregnant) and he gave me a wonderful view into how he is actually feeling....so let me summarize for everyone so that each of us can learn something (especially for those of you that are in the stages of K-1 still:

So...he said that he came to America with so many expectations of how "foreign" was.....primarily based on what he heard or saw through television....even though I had gone over things a million times with him before he arrived, he says that once he arrived, he finally realized that everything was so different.....poverty to some degree was actually worse in America....our econony requires them to work three times harder than they ever worked back in Jamaica, everything is "on-hold" waiting for our crazy government to push the approved button......as a man, he felt helpless and unable to provide, eveything in the house was "mine" and he did not feel anything was "his home", he was homesick, missed his kids, missed his family, he was starting his life all over in a place where he knows nobody but me and has very little to offer me. This can make any man feel worthless and depressed...they kill their free time by doing studid stuff on the internet, sleeping, eating and basically being depressed while we go on and live our life as usual.....

Sooo....now after 10 months of being in this Country, he has finally started to understand my point of view. Our marriage is the main focus, making money to provide for us as a family and trying to save for all the good things like vacations, "new toys" and having good Christian values. He said that it has taken him months to finally get it....He realizes that the adjustment for both of us has been hard and he has acted extremely selfish at times because he only saw the impact that everything was having on him and NOT me........For the most part, we ALL would be kidding ourselves to think that these men did not see any opportunity in coming to America. There is more opportunity here than in Jamaica but for most of them.....this was not their primary goal or reason for coming...They did fall in love with us and most of these men truly do LOVE us and...they really want it to work out. They just do not know how to make it work in the beginning and it takes an incredibly amount of time, patience and energy......Now. some of you may not have had any of these adjustment problems and I admire you....I KNOW for a fact that Duane loves me to death and we have had some really tough times with this adjustment....this is HARD WORK......

So Miss Shauna.......ONLY YOU know how Mike truly feels about you and maybe you need to step back and really get in touch with those feelings. If you think this can be saved, hang tough......it does get better with time.....Duane has really worked hard to adjust and I would have kicked myself in the butt if I let him leave 4 months ago when I packed his SH.....ITTTT....So...hang in there girl.....

Kim..............EVERYTHING you had said is RIGHT ON THE MONEY, at least in "my/our" experience !!!!! Craig was bee-atching today about not having a job, not having money, not feeling like a man because HE can't help and WAA-LAA a call came in from a temp agency for him to work tomorrow and then another came in to start working at a hotel on Tuesday!!!! Craig does now (finally) help out around the house with dishes, laundry and making the bed.....it's a start.

I know that Craig loves me as well, we are both very much commited to each other. We "get into it" differently now. Those women days are gone and he FINALLY realizes that STUPID S**T will NOT get him anywhere but BACK to Jamaica. He did it ONLY for "the money"....whatever. His priorities have TOTALLY changed, for the better. Our relationship and the relationship he has with my son is SOOO much better.

Craig has been...this month will be 11 months !

Hey Shemonya, have you guys ever been to the Jerk Pit in College Park ?? We went there today....it was AWESOME!!! It's only about 25 min from our place. We met up with one of my clients out that way today and it was right around the corner. Thank god it's not closer, we'd go broke !!!

Shauna..........girl, I'm here for ya. He just needs a good ole butt -whoopin !!!

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Best wishes for Jax and her husband today

Ditto.

YES DEFINATE GOOD VIBES TO JAX

[SupportOAFJF 0]

jlvr....You might consider rescheduling your trip next month to the actually date of interview. It is far better to actually attend the interview. In our case, they asked me most of the questions. Plus, the nerves are so crazy that he really need you at the interview to support him. Just my opinion.......

Nope, can't reschedule the trip. There are a bunch of other people going. I'll just have to go over stuff while I'm there with him and hope.

Hey Everyone,

I have decided to delete my VJ account today due to some issues from another thread.

Mrs. Jones

Don't let anyone run you off the board. It's just words on a screen and they can be ignored.

Ours is at 7:15am. I didn't even think the place opened til 8. Not sure if I can attend either since I just went for 2 weeks. I was thinking of going once he actually gets the visa for like a 4 day weekend and have a farewell party for him with his family(assuming all goes well). But who knows, anything can happen....

I don't even know if I would be able to go once he gets the visa. I think I'll just have to settle for getting him at the airport.

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN..I WANTED TO ATTEND MY HUSBAND INTERVIEW AS WELL BUT I WAS JUST THERE ABOUT 2WKS..AND I CAN'T GO BACK IN SPACE OF 1MTH..I JUST PRAY AND KNOW THAT GOD WILL SEE HIM THRU FOR HIS INTERVIEW...AND I PRAY I CAN GO BACK AND TRAVEL WITH HIM WHEN HE GETS HIS VISA..I THINK IT WOULD BE A LITTLE BETTER EXPERIENCE FOR HIM ..IT WILL WORK OUT

[cambutler 0]

hey everyone, what a gwaan?

I'm just dropping in and looking at the tread, luv's post helped me see what lies ahead of me, my husband will be here on the 17th and i can already tell it will be a trial, i am grateful for the insight. I was just talking to my mum today cuz rahan wants to work asap cuz we're both very broke from the whole thing and i was telling her i didn't want him to take certain jobs cuz i don't want him to be exploited, but she showed me that "yuh haffi crawl before yuh walk" so i let go of that..

I just moved and i haven't changed the address with USCIS but when i went to the website to change the address, AR-11 asked for a alien number but he doesn't have one yet so i don't know what to do. i don't want them to send any of our info to my old address. what do i do?

[jlvr 1]

hey everyone, what a gwaan?

I'm just dropping in and looking at the tread, luv's post helped me see what lies ahead of me, my husband will be here on the 17th and i can already tell it will be a trial, i am grateful for the insight. I was just talking to my mum today cuz rahan wants to work asap cuz we're both very broke from the whole thing and i was telling her i didn't want him to take certain jobs cuz i don't want him to be exploited, but she showed me that "yuh haffi crawl before yuh walk" so i let go of that..

I just moved and i haven't changed the address with USCIS but when i went to the website to change the address, AR-11 asked for a alien number but he doesn't have one yet so i don't know what to do. i don't want them to send any of our info to my old address. what do i do?

Isn't there an alien number on the NOA2? I thought so, but maybe I'm wrong.