Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[Shemmy 4]

Depending on the job your SO takes/gets. Craig started at a warehouse job. Loads of thuggy thug, no responsibility, come and go when they pleased, drugs and cigarette smoking.

I agree. Damien's first job was at a food warehouse. His co-workers tried to be a bad influence. They were such losers but Damien saw right through them. He went with them once...never again. Glad he knew better cuz I still can't stand them...poor excuse for men .

Mostly older or married men work at his new job. One co-worker invited Damien out for drinks last Friday but his wife wouldn't let out the house

Edited October 19, 2007 by sjb1221

[JA Tam 7]

How I see it, there is not way you can ensure your man/woman doesn't get caught up with the wrong people. You can voice your opinion and let him/her know how you feel but it's up to them to decide if they are going to re-evaluate the acquaintance or just ignore you and keep on.

I tell it straight, whether he likes it or not. And if your spouse chooses not to listen then they will feel the brunt of that action one way or another.

I honestly do not have this problem. But, I think it is an important issue to discuss on here. I hear a lot of stories that involve the SO having negative outside influences that effect the home life.

Anyone else?

Hubby has only been here a few days, but I know that he is very conscientious of who he associates with. He is a very good judge of character and IMO I would be the one to end up in the wrong crowd, not him. In JA he kept his friends few and the ones that he had were of quality. He is not easily influenced and none of them ever tried to lead him down the wrong path. His best friends are Christians and I don't see him getting caught up with the wrong crowd.

I have heard and seen some of those stories play out where there were negative influences that have affected an immigrant's life. So sad

I saw a question that I thought would be a good one to ask here in this particular forum.

How would you feel about your SO viewing a gay porn website?

His bags would be packed and we'd be filing for divorce. I don't buy that "curious" "I was just looking" "this is nothing" excuse...to me that is a big sign and he'd be out the door.

Fi real...a big deal breaker right there that would send my antennae up.

[JA Tam 7]

HAPPY EARTHDAY JAWI!

Ditto...nuff love on your special day

[Forever Young 1]

I know one of the "issues" my friend had when they had their baby was that he wanted to pierce her ears immediately after baby was born and she was totally against the idea. I guess it's very typical for little babies to get ears pierced in JA right away. Well, it was a big argument and they didn't do it. Now the baby is over 2 yrs. old and she wishes she would have gotten them done when she was a baby! Now she's at the age where she'll play with them or pull them out etc..

What do you ladies think? Since I'm having a girl, I'm sure this is going to come up soon in my house!

Both my sisters had their daughters' ears pierced when they got their first shots at the pediatrician. Give them all the pain at one time and they don't remember a thing

I had a similar issue with my boys...circumcise or not to circumcise. My ex-husband and myself finally decided to do it then...cause chances of them doing it later were slim to none! (Although 2 of my Yardie Male friends had theirs done in their 30's ) Do it when they are young so they don't remember the pain!

Gill

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Memba when u ge mi di crix crackers fi put butta pon it or else it too try..and mi luv bun&cheese so dats arright to..but mi waant extra cheese please !!!

[luvtravlin 0]

JG and Yardie, I agree 100%. It sounds as if some of them come here and loose all the maturity that they displayed in Jamaica. I always told my ex that I was teaching him things so that he could be able to maintain our household for our children if something happened to me. He thought I should be happy because he was putting his entire check every week on the dresser. I thought is was cute in the beginning, and I would take enough for bills...then give him back the rest. Then, I said okay...you don't want to man up...then I will force you to. So, I started keeping the entire check...every week. He started complaining about not having gas money or money to eat out with his co-workers at lunch. I told him, that was your choice to manage your money that way. I was trying to get him used to setting his budget and managing bills. I handled the mortgage, and he was supposed to handle all the utilities. He would have had more than enough money left over if he had taken the time to manage his own paychecks. He went as far as letting his checking account close because he was overdrawn by $10, and he wanted me to handle it because he was embarrassed. I refused, so the account closed.

Happy Birthday Jawi!

Gosh try over $1000 from Jan-April ..being overdrawn and he overdraws his account by hundreds each month. It truly amazes that his account has NOT been closed yet !!!! and I tell him all of the time, one of these days you're gonna go to pull out money and don't be surprised when your card doesn't come back OR if you go to buy something and you are REJECTED !!!

Oh, Kel.....I had to have that conversation with Andre too. He met some guys "at the park" and not for friendship. After many conversations, I had to tell him not to frequent the park and what concerned me about the whole thing. I think the statement from me "if you get arrested for this and jeopardize this entire visa process, I will kill not visit you in prison" that got to him. After seeing my reasoning, he has since stopped going there altogether. I also feel very lucky that he did not want to befriend these guys. He said he's not into more people latching on to him and since they don't seem to have regular jobs, he can see where they would hinder him anyhow.

I think that was very mature of him to see that...and also to notice that the hang out thing is different here vs. in JA. mr jengles used to play "Ludy" not sure if i'm spelling it right, down in JA, but with guys who worked and after work would get together and play. but up here I wouldn't want him hanging out with guys who played dominos in the park at all hours. totally different kind of crowd.

That is the key right there! Back in JA Andre hung out with people from work and in his neighboorhood and from church. He got a job here at a place that is "drug central" in our community - a processing/manufacturing job. It is a good job and he likes it because it pays well...but they hire any and everyone and they are always hiring. So he doesn't have the best crowd at work then the whole community/neighbor thing here is way different. It is nothing like in JA where everyone is friendly. They all stick to themselves. So no friends there. Then he couldn't find a church that he liked for all sorts of various reasons. So no friends from a church. So then the only place for friends was from work.

You can voice your displeasure in their choice of friends (I did very loudly ) but at the end of the day it is their decision and you can't play mama. Eventually the consequences of the poor choices caught up to him and in hindsight he sees the problems and how they arose. Sometimes you just have to step back and let them fall and get in trouble and NOT bail them out. Let them realize the magnitude of the problems they now have to deal with and no longer have someone (a spouse) to bail them out all the time. Once Andre had to start dealing first hand with the severe and painful consequences he wasn't so quick to do it again.

It is hard to step back and let your SO fail and falter to a degree...but in the end it made him realize a whole lot more than my cussing and nagging and tears ever did. I could talk until I was blue in the face but until it impacted him directly he just didn't see how bad it all was.

He learned that I was and always will be there to support and love him but I am not going to fix all the problems he finds himself in based on his bad choices.

So well worded Jamie !!!

I'm just sick and tired of training !!!!!!!!!

[luvtravlin 0]

Interesting interview !!!

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=92383

Interesting interview !!!

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=92383

[*JG* 2]

Happy Birthday, Jawi. Thank you.

Hey, who's removing conditions? Yardiewife? Yep.

Minfey is early next year. And, I will be doing it in August of next year. Well, actually, I am #######, so I have already started researching and collecting evidence...dotting all my i's and all that.

Ladies, we need to chat this up if you are doing it. I am a little stressed about it already. Very nervous.

You will be fine. Are you more nervous now than with the other processes?

Yep...we are removing conditions in Feb of next year. I am not stressing right now but I probably should be. Just too much on the plate already I am not even worrying myself over that. I researched it all a while back and have been keeping it at the back of my mind. I will start actually putting it all together after the new year. Gotta live through the holidays first

I feel you on that. Holidays can be stressful enough in themselves. LOL.

No, not really more so. I just started to call all the utilities and have everything put in his name too. Plus, I contacted the insurance company for all of theirs. The rental agreement. We did our advance directives and durable power of attorneys. I changed over my car title. Just wednesday we went to the bank and changed over the safe deposit box. OMG....what an ordeal that turned out to be! Lots of little things. I want to have months of those with his name on them for proof. Plus, as I take pictures of different events, I want to make sure and have copies of them already together so I am not scrambling for all that at the last minute and adding to my stress.

If I work it right, all I will do is bind it all together and mail it off.....NO stress!

Happy Birthday, Jawi.

Hey, who's removing conditions? Yardiewife?

Minfey is early next year. And, I will be doing it in August of next year. Well, actually, I am #######, so I have already started researching and collecting evidence...dotting all my i's and all that.

Ladies, we need to chat this up if you are doing it. I am a little stressed about it already. Very nervous.

Rhonda is removing conditions. We have to apply January 2008 so I think we're next.

We almost have everything in order. We're renewing our car insurance and gym membership to submit. Can't wait until this is over.

Happy Birthday Jawi.

Ohhh...you are a lot closer. Rhonda is removing conditions now? Rhonda post your experience okay.

Thank you!

I second that, Rhonda. I want to hear too.

[JA Tam 7]

Interesting interview !!!

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=92383

That was very interesting. I hope it works out for them and they don't get stuck in the immigration blackhole

[luvtravlin 0]

Interesting interview !!!

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=92383

That was very interesting. I hope it works out for them and they don't get stuck in the immigration blackhole

Especially this part ----

well and after that he said u go outside so i did i went out side and he start talking to my wife. he just wanna make sure that everything doing ok. he asked her if she sure that she wanna give me the green card, and my wife said sure i am sure he's my husband, and he said yeah but we hear everday so many people using each other for this thing i mean to get the green card and to run lol. it's Funny.

and she said yes i know and i love my husband. he said ok no problem i just want to warn you. and he said seem everything in order here just get what i ask u to get

[luvtravlin 0]

I'm bored sitting here at my pt-time job stuffing envelopes....and searching the web. I LOVE, love, love the author Terry McMillan and was checking to see if she's writing a new book (I've read all of her books to date)...this was interesting what she wrote ...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/conte...7061901718.html

I LOVE the diary of a Gigalo !!! Excellent.... you should email Terry and get that darn thing published. There is also something on www.amazon.com about publishing !!

[nannygirl82 0]

sonshyne.....congratz to you!!! that is great!!!! just called our senator asking if they could give a likkle push to mike's case.....i hope they can do something....

[JA Tam 7]

Interesting interview !!!

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=92383

That was very interesting. I hope it works out for them and they don't get stuck in the immigration blackhole

Especially this part ----

well and after that he said u go outside so i did i went out side and he start talking to my wife. he just wanna make sure that everything doing ok. he asked her if she sure that she wanna give me the green card, and my wife said sure i am sure he's my husband, and he said yeah but we hear everday so many people using each other for this thing i mean to get the green card and to run lol. it's Funny.

and she said yes i know and i love my husband. he said ok no problem i just want to warn you. and he said seem everything in order here just get what i ask u to get

It may seem a little presumptuous of him, but considering the info that they are privy to, they are truly just looking out for the USC's best interest. Have any of the VJ vets heard from Texas Bound? How is she doing? I went back and read some of her story and it just broke my heart

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

I'm bored sitting here at my pt-time job stuffing envelopes....and searching the web. I LOVE, love, love the author Terry McMillan and was checking to see if she's writing a new book (I've read all of her books to date)...this was interesting what she wrote ...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/conte...7061901718.html

I LOVE the diary of a Gigalo !!! Excellent.... you should email Terry and get that darn thing published. There is also something on www.amazon.com about publishing !!

Maybe I will lol......

How does stuffing envelopes work??

Does it pay well?

[nannygirl82 0]

well another late night last night....sarah has what charlie had last week....we are on a first name bases with the dr's at the walk in clinic....so she and her dad went last night sarah didn't get home till 11 pm then i had to take her back today for another check up and x-ray cause she was having problems passing gas and her poopy.... so they are both getting nebulizer treatments and have a horrible cough....great times for this weekend....