Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

And I can 100% tell any woman married to a Jamaican that no matter what they say they absolutly "talked" to other women while dating you. Be honest with yourself...It is a real thing and I know alot of real good Jamaicans as well as bad. And even the real gooddddddddddd gooood ones have other friends. Like someone said the immigration process does not let you get to know a person under normal circumstances,...the result is some crazy stuff. And think about this..how many tourists come to Jamaica to visit and how many women are hooking up with Jamaican men...what about the cruise ship tourists...absolutly...one day fling and on their way...it happens girls and it will continue too. Its just reality. Once here like I said you better straighten up or move on back to the place you can do those things...cuz its not with me and its no on my time honey!! : )

You can 100% say YOUR man or men YOU know 'talked' to other women and YOUR man and men YOU know whored themselves out to cruise ship/vistors....You CANNOT tell ANY woman that THEIR man did or does this without KNOWING their partner.

Please don't judge all the GENUINE Jamaican men out there by the dengerate standards of the men in YOUR life.

[Sonshyne 2]

Hello..

I know that it has been a while since I've posted anything... My husband got his visa this tuesday.

Congrats

[Marie876 0]

And I can 100% tell any woman married to a Jamaican that no matter what they say they absolutly "talked" to other women while dating you. Be honest with yourself...It is a real thing and I know alot of real good Jamaicans as well as bad. And even the real gooddddddddddd gooood ones have other friends. Like someone said the immigration process does not let you get to know a person under normal circumstances,...the result is some crazy stuff. And think about this..how many tourists come to Jamaica to visit and how many women are hooking up with Jamaican men...what about the cruise ship tourists...absolutly...one day fling and on their way...it happens girls and it will continue too. Its just reality. Once here like I said you better straighten up or move on back to the place you can do those things...cuz its not with me and its no on my time honey!! : )

You can 100% say YOUR man or men YOU know 'talked' to other women and YOUR man and men YOU know whored themselves out to cruise ship/vistors....You CANNOT tell ANY woman that THEIR man did or does this without KNOWING their partner.

Please don't judge all the GENUINE Jamaican men out there by the dengerate standards of the men in YOUR life.

well said

[Sonshyne 2]

Me -- NO WAY!!! But -- that being said -- I also believe that life is too short to not take chances. You are only given one opportunity here -- what you do with that opportunity is all up to you.

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This was the conclusion that I finally came to after doubting for a long time. Nothing is 100%. Even if I met and married someone from the US, even if I knew him for five years before getting married, there is nothing that says that we wouldn't have problems, nothing that says he wouldn't suddenly change and certainly nothing that says that he would not cheat on me.

No second-guessing. Life's too short. Live it, learn from it and keep moving.

I agree, this is how I look at it too. Life is about taking chances...

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Hello..

I know that it has been a while since I've posted anything... My husband got his visa this tuesday.

Congrats

Damn, 24 days????????????????

#######????

This must be agony

[BelwinMills 0]

Hello..

I know that it has been a while since I've posted anything... My husband got his visa this tuesday. I am not as lucky as many other posters, it seems once everyone else's spouse get their visas, they're already on di plane... but my hubby is uneasy about coming... He has ends to tie, he says.. I respect that, isn't there a time frame on which you can travel with the CR visa? I told him two months and he says he will come in almost two months, but I want to be sure..

He wants to come, but he says it makes him feel like he's going to a new school and he doesn't know anyone.. which I guess is true, he knows my family only, I can't think of any ways to ease his nervousness, so I'm going to be patient and understanding, i'm trying.

But is that true with the visa? I know k1 visas have 3 months.. what about CR1 visas?

Anna is correct 6 months. Wow he sounds like my hubby at first but once I got married I told him he has nine more months then he has to come up. I understand the friend thing and a whole new world. My hubby said now he is ready to come up but when we got married he wasn't. He is partying it up with his friends now. I thank the lord that he has 2 really close guy friends here in IL.

All the best! How long did it take u to get the visa from your interview date?

Congrats on the visa

[Marlita 0]

Anways I just had to get because reading a lot of these post were making me sad in away.

I just saw this online and thought it was a great positive quiz. Take if you like.

The Question is Are you Satisfied with life? Some seem so happy here and some seem not so satisfied .

Score each one from number 1 through 7. 1 being the least satisfied and 7 being the most satisfied.

1. In most ways, my life is close to ideal.

2. The conditions of my life are excellent.

3. I am satisfied with my life.

4. So far I have gotten the important things I want

5. If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing.

If you scored 15 or under, you are dissatisfied with your life. If you scored 31 or higher, you are extremely satisfied with your life.

If you scored somewhere in the middle, happiness expert Dr. Robert Holden has some advice on how to live a more satisfying life. Dr. Holden says the key to being happy is overcoming "destination addiction," which he defines as "living in the not-now."

"It's always about tomorrow, so you're chasing 'more,' 'next' and 'there,'" he says. "You promise yourself that when you get there, you'll be happy. And I promise you, you won't, because you'll always set another destination to go for."

Instead, Dr. Holden says if you are unhappy with your life or looking to improve your score, there are two things you can do. "We have to learn to let go of our past, we have to give up all hopes for a perfect past. Let the past go, it's gone." After that, he says, "Take a vow of kindness. Be kinder to yourself and to others.

"It's never too late to be happy," he says.

I scored a 32

I liked this. I scored a 31.

I had a time not so long off, when I was feeling completely unsatisfied, and if most things in my life were pointless. One thing that helped me was my journey to seeking God, the book of Ecclesiates, and my trips to jamaica. Now I feel as though there is nothing happening in my life without reason.

[rhondapayter 0]

Okay, thanks. But what kind of store, health food store, drug store? How would I know what they are? (I'm sure they don't advertise this use. ) I know that some use golden seal tea. I think there's also a golden seal pill, is that what you're talking about?

I don't remember the name of the pills. The store I got them at is just some off the wall store that sells things like pipes, rolling papers, black-light posters, crazy jewelry, and other vast assortment of odds and ends. Because they sell all the ganja "accessories" I guess they figure they better also supply the drugs to get them OUT of your system!!

[rhondapayter 0]

i agree to disagre.....yes he did give up a lot to be here this is true...not going to take that away from him...BUT!!!!!! i have and a lot of other vj'rs have as well made sacraficed for the SO to come here.. like you said it is a 2 way street...i'm not going to continue to bend of backwards for him and try to make him feel needed and comfortable when being treated the way that i have been and am being treated....i'm sorry just not fair..

Of course, we have ALL made huge sacrifices in our relationships It works BOTH ways and both peple in the relationship need to make the other one feel loved and respected. Things need to be equal - both parties helping with laundry and household chores and such - even if only one person is working for now. No one deserves to be treated badly.

[rhondapayter 0]

Do you mind if I ask, why are you allowing HIM to make the decision of whether he stays or goes? It's your life. If you are unhappy and feel that he is not doing what he needs to do in order to stay, why not just change the locks or something?

I know the laws are slightly different in each state, but here in Michigan you can not prevent your HUSBAND from entering your home. It is technically his home too because you're married. Everything that's yours is his and vise versa. You have to file for seperation or divorce and/or a restraining order to physically keep him out of the house. This is one of the reasons some women have been forced to take extreme measures (like Trinilad's friend) to get their men "deported". Just an FYI.

[rhondapayter 0]

understand that you have to be pretty much selfless for about 2 years. Sometimes a little less and sometimes more depending on how many cultural differences you have to tackle. You have to be able to understand that you are going to give and give and give for a long while with very little back. I can tell you that after these men get on their feet, understand the cultural differences, feel confident and full of pride again they will reward you with appreciation. The wait can be a long one and very frustrating but I can promise you that it does happen.

We feel somehow unvalidated unappreciated if others dont express thanks or appreciation.

Sara,

Very well said That was a huge thing with us when Tony first came here. I would get mad because I would take him out to dinner or take him clothes shopping or buy him stuff and he wouldn't even say Thank You He didn't understand why I would get so mad and upset. Now, he finally gets it. He even thanks me (usually) when I cook dinner!!! I don't mind doing things for him at all - I just want to feel appreciated!

[rhondapayter 0]

Life isn’t easy not matter what situations are thrown your way but it is still your choice how you react and respond. I signed up to be the wife not the mommy.

Amen sister!!!!

[rhondapayter 0]

Here's the thing -- the whole immigration process DOES NOT allow us to really get to know the person as well as we (or they) might like. No bulls*&$ here..... My question is.....would ANY of you marry someone HERE, in America who you met and only saw face-to-face a limited amount of time?

Me -- NO WAY!!! But -- that being said -- I also believe that life is too short to not take chances. You are only given one opportunity here -- what you do with that opportunity is all up to you.

I agree - no way would we have gotten married (so quickly) if we both lived in the same country. We would have dated, maybe moved in together, got to know one another, etc... The ONLY reason we got married is because we had to in order to be together. It was a chance we were both willing to take. I was out of money and out of vacation days and not about to move to Jamaica so that left us two choices - split up and never see each other again or get married Suprisingly enough, we're still married over 2 years later!!

[rhondapayter 0]

I found 7 different numbers, in his pants pockets and wallet (yep, he was that stupid for me to find them and yes I looked BECAUSE I did not trust him !!!) and when his cell phone bill came.... within the 1st 2 months. He doesn't know that I have his password to get into his phone, he had a message from one chic at 6:41 AM on say a Monday morning. We were at my sons soccer game and he left me a note saying he was at the movies ..........HE LIED !! He was at this chics house watching a movie !!! and I called her to find out the real deal!!!!

There is no way in HELL I would put up with that kind of behavior and dis-respect That is awful.

[rhondapayter 0]

No second-guessing. Life's too short. Live it, learn from it and keep moving.