Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[*JG* 2]

Go ahead -- hate me -- I don't care!!! When I met Roy (three years ago) --

I wish this forum would have existed.

I wish there was a place where people were being honest about what was going on in their relationships.

I wish I could have asked someone all the questions (and concerns) that I had.

I wish someone would have been there to help me understand what was about to happen in my life.

I wish that I had suggestions and real experiences from people who had gone through this before me.

I wish, I wish, I wish.......

Here's the thing -- you ask a question. You get an answer. WE are not here to knock you down. WE are here to supply you with as much information and personal experiences that you can handle. Obviously some people can't handle it. Yes WE do get very passionate about our views and sometimes what we type doesn't translate properly. Me personally, I know some of my posts make me sound like a raving B^%$&. That is furthest from what I am.....

I cannot change how some people feel. I just wish that the "newbies" knew ALL the women who used to frequent this forum -- who WE have not heard from in MONTHS -- SOME YEARS.....why? Their relationships don't exist anymore. Those are the "tales" you all really need to hear. If you heard what happened to them -- maybe you would understand WHY we try to give you honest answers -- whether you are prepared to hear them or not.

Yes, this is a Jamaican forum so we are talking about Jamaican men (for the most part, men). Sorry if you feel we "Jamaican Bash" but what good would it do anybody if we came on here and talked about all our shi^^% experiences with American men?!?!?

Everyone has their own experiences. I hope this forum can continue to host these types of conversations. If we can help just one person -- that will be one less person who is "in the wind."

That's so funny.....Luvtrvl (?) said the very same thing to me in an e-mail today..

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Yay, recieved TWO copies of packet 3 today!!!

Just scheduled my medical for next Tuesday!! :dance: :dance:

You are lucky. Some people don't even receive one copy. Good luck.

Yes, I'm sooooo happy!

My friend in Jamaica should have picked up my criminal record yesterday or today, so will get that when I go to Jamaica in 10 days

They want me to bring proof of my pregnancyto the medical, I hope waggling my stomach at them will do the trick!!!

[rhondapayter 0]

But again that is my opinion and I did not expres it in a nasty or offensive way. I try my best to say little as possible on here because sometimes you get the feeling that a lot of people looking for support no matter how outrageous they sound. But when stuff is cruddy, I am going to break my silence and say so.

I love you Trini Your opinions are ALWAYS welcome It's nice to have different perspectives and opinions on matters.

[rhondapayter 0]

I have learned a valuable lesson in these posts.... I came here to get information, and encourage others in this journey along the way, and share my story in hopes that it would assist others. I did not come here to be judged by people that don't know me or my situation.... and have others fears, shortcomings, and insecurities from their experiences imposed on me. So maybe I should have just kept it surface, discussing the technical stuff. Whatever the case, I wish everyone well. But, I am getting enough BS from the people I love, don't need it from strangers I really don't give a damn about...

No one is judging you. We're simply telling you our opinions. Sometimes it helps to examine a situation from different points of view. I think that's the whole point of "bouncing" an idea around on here. And many of us (the vets) that already have our man here KNOW how difficult it was (and still is) to adjust when he first got here. I think we're trying to make you think about all the perspectives thats all.

[Yaads 0]

Go ahead -- hate me -- I don't care!!! When I met Roy (three years ago) --

I wish this forum would have existed.

I wish there was a place where people were being honest about what was going on in their relationships.

I wish I could have asked someone all the questions (and concerns) that I had.

I wish someone would have been there to help me understand what was about to happen in my life.

I wish that I had suggestions and real experiences from people who had gone through this before me.

I wish, I wish, I wish.......

Here's the thing -- you ask a question. You get an answer. WE are not here to knock you down. WE are here to supply you with as much information and personal experiences that you can handle. Obviously some people can't handle it. Yes WE do get very passionate about our views and sometimes what we type doesn't translate properly. Me personally, I know some of my posts make me sound like a raving B^%$&. That is furthest from what I am.....

I cannot change how some people feel. I just wish that the "newbies" knew ALL the women who used to frequent this forum -- who WE have not heard from in MONTHS -- SOME YEARS.....why? Their relationships don't exist anymore. Those are the "tales" you all really need to hear. If you heard what happened to them -- maybe you would understand WHY we try to give you honest answers -- whether you are prepared to hear them or not.

Yes, this is a Jamaican forum so we are talking about Jamaican men (for the most part, men). Sorry if you feel we "Jamaican Bash" but what good would it do anybody if we came on here and talked about all our shi^^% experiences with American men?!?!?

Everyone has their own experiences. I hope this forum can continue to host these types of conversations. If we can help just one person -- that will be one less person who is "in the wind."

That's so funny.....Luvtrvl (?) said the very same thing to me in an e-mail today..

That’s the truth. I don’t have enough hands to count all the relationships that have failed. Relationships that work out and last long are definitely the minority.

I will give Kelly (luvtravlin) major props for airing her “dirty” laundry. Her story is one of many out there. I choose not to air my “dirty” laundry because of the negativity that seems to abound. I don’t have the “guts” like Kelly I applaud her for being open and honest.

Now to the topic at hand.

I for one don't care if a woman says 'My Jamaican husband is a dog'.

However, I take EXTREME issue with her saying 'Any Jamaican man you bring up is going to be a dog'

Because that is no longer PERSONAL experience, but a BLANKET statement!!

So while I will bite my lip when I hear some generalizations being made in what I believe is ignorance, I will not sit idly by and watch my Jamaican kings being lumped together because of someone's bad experiences.....

Of course I expect women to tell both the good and the bad, hopefully sharing will help someone else in a similar situation. I think it is of paramount importance that the 'seedy' side is shown, the horror stories.

But what needs to be remembered is that the bad in your relationship is not a trend, not a given, but a PERSONAL experience.

I derieve no pleasure from 'jumping' on people or proving they are stereotypical. All I demand is that you treat every situation as a personal experience, not a blueprint on 'What Happens When You Marry A Jamaican'....

Many of the women here are living with their families buying into the stereotype of a 'black Jamaican man' and are vocal in their outrage. Yet many here are creating their very own pet stereotype while critizing the actions of others....

I will always try to support, to educate, to help, to provide any insight I can to help people here.

But I will not sit and watch ANYONE tear Jamaicans to shreds.

I don’t think anyone has sat here and torn Jamaicans to shreds. It is a simple case of “I have gone through this bad/awful/unexpected/______fill in the blank situation and I know that others out there have gone through the same thing…Not saying it will happen to you but be prepared.” It can’t just be coincidence that 95% of us have gone through the same situations with very similar outcomes and occurrences.

I highly doubt that if you are going to find people who “tear Jamaicans to shreds” you are going to be hard pressed to find them married to a JA and participating in a JA thread. That’s a little harsh.

Edited April 5, 2007 by Jme3584

[rhondapayter 0]

...because it is what is happening in our lives and we come to this forum to vent and see if it happend to anyone else and how they delt with it....

to the newbies that feel we are judging you...please.....you post your stuff we give our advice as people who have gone through it and know what could possibly happen....

well put! Everyone should feel free to state their opinion. How's the old saying go? If you don't want my opinion DON"T ask for it!!

[rhondapayter 0]

That being said, I don't think you have to censor yourself. Like the one person said, we are not a cheering squad. We do not have to agree with everyone and everything. But, a little tact goes a long way. Say your comments in a less hateful manner and you will still get your points across.

[nannygirl82 0]

I highly doubt that if you are going to find people who “tear Jamaicans to shreds” you are going to be hard pressed to find them married to a JA and participating in a JA thread. That’s a little harsh.

SO TRUE!!!

[Sonshyne 2]

Yay, recieved TWO copies of packet 3 today!!!

Just scheduled my medical for next Tuesday!! :dance: :dance:

Congrats

Edited April 5, 2007 by Sonshyne

[Texas Bound 0]

YO YO!!! READ MY SIGNATURE!!!!!

[nannygirl82 0]

Texas....is he coming today??? or on the 8th??

[Texas Bound 0]

Texas....is he coming today??? or on the 8th??

He is going to Jfk for the stamp & will hang with his cousins for a couple of days since he hasnt seen them since forever. He will be on Texas Ground Easter Sunday. You cannot imagine how Happy I am. This ordeal was unbelievable.

I called & called & called & a lady felt my pain & told me to have him come in yesterday. You know they are shut down Fri & Mon which again will cause major delays. God has blessed us again.

[darlene 0]

Well it is about time! Congratulations. What a nice Easter present.

[Sonshyne 2]

YO YO!!! READ MY SIGNATURE!!!!!

BIG UPS to you and your man girl It's about time

I guess we should be receiving ours soon.

[nannygirl82 0]

Texas....is he coming today??? or on the 8th??

He is going to Jfk for the stamp & will hang with his cousins for a couple of days since he hasnt seen them since forever. He will be on Texas Ground Easter Sunday. You cannot imagine how Happy I am. This ordeal was unbelievable.

I called & called & called & a lady felt my pain & told me to have him come in yesterday. You know they are shut down Fri & Mon which again will cause major delays. God has blessed us again.

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!