LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR RED FLAGS

[sarah and hicham 3]

sure all older women can have the same qualities no matter where they live, each person chooses who they want to be with whereever they are from. Not directing to you Jenn directly just in example, im sure there were others in MENA that would have had the same qualities as you or anyone else married might find, why did you two pick each other, because you loved each other...people are just people, doesnt matter where you come from

I understand that, but you can't say, for example, "Moroccan men like older women because they have more life experience" and use that to explain why there are so many USC/Moroccan relationships with large age differences simply because there are not the same number of relationships between Moroccan men and older Moroccan women. If it were really the life experience that they were drawn to, then surely they would be attracted by life experience in a Moroccan women. But that just does not seem to be the case. There's clearly a difference between older American women and older Moroccan women since one group seems to be very marryable while the other is less so.

ETA: A perfect example of what I'm trying to say was moody's theory about frequenting the internet. One difference between American women and Moroccan women would be that American women probably spend a LOT more time on the internet, thereby increasing the chances of a romantic meeting. That would be a reasonable explanation as to why there are more USC/Moroccan couples with wide age gaps than Moroccan/Moroccan couples with wide age gaps.

I agree with you there.

[desert_fox 32]

I understand that, but you can't say, for example, "Moroccan men like older women because they have more life experience" and use that to explain why there are so many USC/Moroccan relationships with large age differences simply because there are not the same number of relationships between Moroccan men and older Moroccan women. If it were really the life experience that they were drawn to, then surely they would be attracted by life experience in a Moroccan women. But that just does not seem to be the case. There's clearly a difference between older American women and older Moroccan women since one group seems to be very marryable while the other is less so.

ETA: A perfect example of what I'm trying to say was moody's theory about frequenting the internet. One difference between American women and Moroccan women would be that American women probably spend a LOT more time on the internet, thereby increasing the chances of a romantic meeting. That would be a reasonable explanation as to why there are more USC/Moroccan couples with wide age gaps than Moroccan/Moroccan couples with wide age gaps.

..or could it be that they are stuck in a country with high un-employment and limited economic oppoertunities??? They havnt much to do but hang out in the ciber cafes and try to find an western woman to fall in love with to offer an escape. You may not believe it but the Consulate sure does.

They are kicking illegals from Morroco every day out of Spain. They come there to work the fields and can earn 10 times what they could earn in Morroco doing the same thing. The farmers actually prefer the older Morrocan women with families back home as they work hard and leave when their work is done, and have enough to live until the next harvest season.

[Jenn! 918]

I understand that, but you can't say, for example, "Moroccan men like older women because they have more life experience" and use that to explain why there are so many USC/Moroccan relationships with large age differences simply because there are not the same number of relationships between Moroccan men and older Moroccan women. If it were really the life experience that they were drawn to, then surely they would be attracted by life experience in a Moroccan women. But that just does not seem to be the case. There's clearly a difference between older American women and older Moroccan women since one group seems to be very marryable while the other is less so.

ETA: A perfect example of what I'm trying to say was moody's theory about frequenting the internet. One difference between American women and Moroccan women would be that American women probably spend a LOT more time on the internet, thereby increasing the chances of a romantic meeting. That would be a reasonable explanation as to why there are more USC/Moroccan couples with wide age gaps than Moroccan/Moroccan couples with wide age gaps.

..or could it be that they are stuck in a country with high un-employment and limited economic oppoertunities??? They havnt much to do but hang out in the ciber cafes and try to find an western woman to fall in love with to offer an escape. You may not believe it but the Consulate sure does.

They are kicking illegals from Morroco every day out of Spain. They come there to work the fields and can earn 10 times what they could earn in Morroco doing the same thing. The farmers actually prefer the older Morrocan women with families back home as they work hard and leave when their work is done, and have enough to live until the next harvest season.

Yes, well those are the obvious explanations, but around here we don't refer to those.

[ya falaha! 0]

^^^^^^^^^ That, too. (Referring to desert fox's post)

However, we're discussing why they chose older women as opposed to women closer to their own age. We already know why *some* of them choose Americans or Europeans.

Edited October 16, 2007 by moody

[Caladan 19]

This is my husband's theory as to why so many MENA men marry older women from the states: Older women generally have more patience and time on their hands to sit in front of the computer and deal with a man with broken English than younger women.

I'd also guess that older women tend to hang out on computers more than younger women generally, at least in places looking for love or in chat rooms. If you're a young American woman in college, for example, you probably have no time at all for some (ew! creepy) older Moroccan dude because your life is pretty packed with boys and activities. I would not have met C. in college. Too much going on. Too large a dating pool.

I think the demographics on all of the dating sites tend to be a little older (like late twenties.) And an older woman is less likely to buy into the whole man-as-provider model, especially if she's been divorced. She probably has her own money. (And if you have your own money and interests, why not go with the hot younger man?) But it's not easy for her to find dates here: men tend to 'marry down.'

Why the younger man is looking for an older American woman? I think Jenn's nailed it. I wouldn't call it "taking advantage of" in the non-harmful cases, but more like one thing the woman brings to the table is financial security. It's an asset that she has. We don't normally talk of relationships that way. Instead we let things like 'college educated' or 'from a good family' do all the class sorting for us and pretend that it's just coincidence that Harvard girls don't generally marry construction workers. But it's really the same thing. It is nothing to be offended over, any more than you'd be offended at someone saying the Yale-trained doctor was a good catch. And it's also not a good thing to say at the consulate, any more than you'd meet the doctor's family and exclaim that you loved him because he'd buy you a big house.

The trouble is, from a visa standpoint, is that a healthy relationship superficially resembles one where the guy is just using the older woman and doesn't care about her at all as long as she gets him the visa.

[Caladan 19]

older american women at times go for young american men to (if you can find one responsible and that doesnt go around saying COOL every 5 secs) in the end it all still becomes a personal choice, fat skinny, tall, short, black, white its on the inside that counts

Yes, but we are trying to analyze something here, in which case you have to look at trends and such, not just fall back on platitudes.

ETA: Take it out of the context of MENA relationships. Let's say, instead that we're talking about interracial relationships here in the U.S. Have you ever noticed that you see more black men with white women than you see black women with white men? Mustn't there be some sort of rational explanation behind that? Yes, it is what's on the inside that counts, etc. But that does nothing to explain *why* there is a difference.

Or why, when a guy decides that American women are too fat and too feminist, he curiously never goes to a country where the women are of the same socioeconomic status (and more curiously, might even believe that material wealth has nothing to do with it.)

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

Why the younger man is looking for an older American woman? I think Jenn's nailed it. I wouldn't call it "taking advantage of" in the non-harmful cases, but more like one thing the woman brings to the table is financial security. It's an asset that she has. We don't normally talk of relationships that way. Instead we let things like 'college educated' or 'from a good family' do all the class sorting for us and pretend that it's just coincidence that Harvard girls don't generally marry construction workers. But it's really the same thing. It is nothing to be offended over, any more than you'd be offended at someone saying the Yale-trained doctor was a good catch. And it's also not a good thing to say at the consulate, any more than you'd meet the doctor's family and exclaim that you loved him because he'd buy you a big house.

The trouble is, from a visa standpoint, is that a healthy relationship superficially resembles one where the guy is just using the older woman and doesn't care about her at all as long as she gets him the visa.

I'm a Columbia University "girl" marrying a construction worker.....and giddy with joy over it. There are classy, intelligent blue collar people in the world. I found one. At either rate, I'm marrying the person that he is, not the box that he fits in in American society.

[desert_fox 32]

^^^^^^^^^ That, too. (Referring to desert fox's post)

However, we're discussing why they chose older women as opposed to women closer to their own age. We already know why *some* of them choose Americans or Europeans.

just a limited field to choose from.

From the limited reading I have done in this forum, I would say that you ladies are more of the genuine relationships and are not being victimized, but for everyone of you, the Consulate probable sees a dozen that are not genuine. Unfortunately, you just happen to fall under the same umbrella.

[Caladan 19]

Why the younger man is looking for an older American woman? I think Jenn's nailed it. I wouldn't call it "taking advantage of" in the non-harmful cases, but more like one thing the woman brings to the table is financial security. It's an asset that she has. We don't normally talk of relationships that way. Instead we let things like 'college educated' or 'from a good family' do all the class sorting for us and pretend that it's just coincidence that Harvard girls don't generally marry construction workers. But it's really the same thing. It is nothing to be offended over, any more than you'd be offended at someone saying the Yale-trained doctor was a good catch. And it's also not a good thing to say at the consulate, any more than you'd meet the doctor's family and exclaim that you loved him because he'd buy you a big house.

The trouble is, from a visa standpoint, is that a healthy relationship superficially resembles one where the guy is just using the older woman and doesn't care about her at all as long as she gets him the visa.

I'm a Columbia University "girl" marrying a construction worker.....and giddy with joy over it. There are classy, intelligent blue collar people in the world. I found one. At either rate, I'm marrying the person that he is, not the box that he fits in in American society.

My husband does not have a college education either. You'll notice I didn't say 'all', I said 'generally.' I also didn't say that there weren't classy, intelligent blue collar people. Please to be reading the words that are actually written.

There's a LOT of 'Oh, I don't care about money, but I wouldn't date a townie, God no' among undergrads. It's not polite to talk about money or to frame it explicitly, but it's surely not just coincidence that college-educated people generally date and marry other college-educated people, and a lot of it boils down to proxies for wealth. (Oh, no, we don't SAY money. We just want a guy who shares our interests, like skiing, and travel.)

[Jenn! 918]

Oh, no, we don't SAY money. We just want a guy who shares our interests, like skiing, and travel.

So true!

[JeanneVictoria 55]

This is my husband's theory as to why so many MENA men marry older women from the states: Older women generally have more patience and time on their hands to sit in front of the computer and deal with a man with broken English than younger women.

I'd also guess that older women tend to hang out on computers more than younger women generally, at least in places looking for love or in chat rooms. If you're a young American woman in college, for example, you probably have no time at all for some (ew! creepy) older Moroccan dude because your life is pretty packed with boys and activities. I would not have met C. in college. Too much going on. Too large a dating pool.

I think the demographics on all of the dating sites tend to be a little older (like late twenties.) And an older woman is less likely to buy into the whole man-as-provider model, especially if she's been divorced. She probably has her own money. (And if you have your own money and interests, why not go with the hot younger man?) But it's not easy for her to find dates here: men tend to 'marry down.'

Why the younger man is looking for an older American woman? I think Jenn's nailed it. I wouldn't call it "taking advantage of" in the non-harmful cases, but more like one thing the woman brings to the table is financial security. It's an asset that she has. We don't normally talk of relationships that way. Instead we let things like 'college educated' or 'from a good family' do all the class sorting for us and pretend that it's just coincidence that Harvard girls don't generally marry construction workers. But it's really the same thing. It is nothing to be offended over, any more than you'd be offended at someone saying the Yale-trained doctor was a good catch. And it's also not a good thing to say at the consulate, any more than you'd meet the doctor's family and exclaim that you loved him because he'd buy you a big house.

The trouble is, from a visa standpoint, is that a healthy relationship superficially resembles one where the guy is just using the older woman and doesn't care about her at all as long as she gets him the visa.

[ya falaha! 0]

Huh?

[JODO 2]

Umm?

[JeanneVictoria 55]

^^^^^^^^^ That, too. (Referring to desert fox's post)

However, we're discussing why they chose older women as opposed to women closer to their own age. We already know why *some* of them choose Americans or Europeans.

[doodlebug 3]

^^^^^^^^^ That, too. (Referring to desert fox's post)

However, we're discussing why they chose older women as opposed to women closer to their own age. We already know why *some* of them choose Americans or Europeans.

that clip makes no sense whatsoever in the context of this post.