I am absolutely beside myself right now...

[Necrotica 0]

I can't stop crying.

My fiancé never sent the checklist back with his DS-230. He just today had his medical and just today told me this.

ANOTHER MONTH WASTED. It took enough time for me to somewhat get over the fact that we lost 2 months because we couldn't get Packet 3 in the first place, and now I find out he didn't even send the whole thing back???

All I want to do right now is scream my lungs out. I thought we only had another month or so to go to get an interview... now I find out that we're not even in the running in geting an interview scheduled.

This is pure hell. PURE HELL.

[together2love 0]

Well, then get him to send the checklist back, and that is all you can do for now. It is a very frustrating process, hopefully you can laugh about this all when you are finally together Good luck!

[misa 2]

Sorry to hear that. You've had such a long wait. Get him to send the checklist back RIGHT AWAY!

[cuci 0]

You know? there's just no coherence right now with regard to how Montreal sets up it's interview schedule. It's NOT necessarily "first come first serve" when it comes to when you sent the checklist back. A month or two (or three) seems to be "in the noise" -- a month delay sending the list back may not necessarily translate to a month delay for the date when the interview will be scheduled. A lot of the frustration w/ the MtL waiting room group is due to the fact that there's no real pattern to when they schedule the interviews or who goes when . . . So, whereas I'm sure that you want to go screaming off into the night -- I have a wierd feeling that we're all in some sort of backlog -- these CR1s/IR1s will go through - and then maybe they'll push a bunch of K1/K3s through. So, don't think of it as "being in line" -- think of it as being in a large pool of folks who have equal chances of getting the next interview date . . . (sounds silly, but it might help).

[mozplay 29]

When you stop crying.. go hit him over the head with a frying pan.'

Hey! It would make me feel better!

Mo

[Necrotica 0]

Well, then get him to send the checklist back, and that is all you can do for now. It is a very frustrating process, hopefully you can laugh about this all when you are finally together Good luck!

I hope you're right. At this point, I can't even imagine laughing over it.

Sorry to hear that. You've had such a long wait. Get him to send the checklist back RIGHT AWAY!

To add insult to injury, he said he'll send it back tomorrow, even though it was 4 pm his time when I found out about this.

[JenT 0]

Is there reason to believe that his lack of follow-through is a pattern? If so, you might want to have a thorough talk with him about how it makes you feel, or you're in for years of frustration ahead. Lived and learned THAT particular lesson with my ex....

Jen

[Necrotica 0]

You know? there's just no coherence right now with regard to how Montreal sets up it's interview schedule. It's NOT necessarily "first come first serve" when it comes to when you sent the checklist back. A month or two (or three) seems to be "in the noise" -- a month delay sending the list back may not necessarily translate to a month delay for the date when the interview will be scheduled. A lot of the frustration w/ the MtL waiting room group is due to the fact that there's no real pattern to when they schedule the interviews or who goes when . . . So, whereas I'm sure that you want to go screaming off into the night -- I have a wierd feeling that we're all in some sort of backlog -- these CR1s/IR1s will go through - and then maybe they'll push a bunch of K1/K3s through. So, don't think of it as "being in line" -- think of it as being in a large pool of folks who have equal chances of getting the next interview date . . . (sounds silly, but it might help).

Thanks for your words. I'm trying so, so hard to look at the "bright side". At least I wasn't caught in the IMBRA #######. At least I wasn't the one whose fiancé lied about getting divorced from his ex-wife. At least I wasn't the one whose fiancé cheated on her, or beat her... or any other combination of terrible, irreversible things. It's so hard, though... it's bad enough to have to endure things like this when I have mental issues to begin with.

[Necrotica 0]

When you stop crying.. go hit him over the head with a frying pan.'

Hey! It would make me feel better!

Mo

If I was in the position to where I could actually go there to hit him over the head with a frying pan, I wouldn't be so upset. It's not the process... it's the fact that we're so far apart and can't see each other. I don't care what happens in AOS... at least we'll be together... this, though... is getting to be unbearable.

Edited February 23, 2007 by Necrotica

[Emancipation 2]

Some people have a natural aversion to paperwork I think... Maybe you should take over the role from now on? My hubby actually is the paperwork guru, so he actually filled everything out, and I sent it in.. basically, he's the better one at detail stuff, so he gets to have the fun of doing it. Dunno.. I wonder though if he finds paperwork as overwhelming as I .. You might want to put together the Package 4 stuff to bring to the interview.. And set about 20 alarms off for him.. no better yet.. be there for the interview Good luck!

[rebeccajo 14]

...... I don't care what happens in AOS...

Careful what you say......

[Necrotica 0]

Is there reason to believe that his lack of follow-through is a pattern? If so, you might want to have a thorough talk with him about how it makes you feel, or you're in for years of frustration ahead. Lived and learned THAT particular lesson with my ex....

Jen

I know what you mean. There have been some things that he has not done that has upset the hell out of me, such as, for whatever reason, him being so unwilling/putting off getting his birth certificate, even though I've been asking him for months why he won't just go get it.

I don't want to make him look like a bad guy. He's not. In fact, he's been better to me than anyone else has. He honestly believed that he should have waited to send the checklist because that's what the directions said and he didn't know that it was the checklist the determined when he got the interview. Even though I could have SWORN I told him that. *sighs* I don't know.

[Necrotica 0]

Some people have a natural aversion to paperwork I think... Maybe you should take over the role from now on? My hubby actually is the paperwork guru, so he actually filled everything out, and I sent it in.. basically, he's the better one at detail stuff, so he gets to have the fun of doing it. Dunno.. I wonder though if he finds paperwork as overwhelming as I .. You might want to put together the Package 4 stuff to bring to the interview.. And set about 20 alarms off for him.. no better yet.. be there for the interview Good luck!

I did do pretty much all of it, but there are some things I can't do for him because I'm not there. I wasn't able to do the checklist for him. Plus I didn't have his employment info to be able to do the DS-230. I can't control him sending out the paperwork.

I have Packet 4 stuff ready. I've had it ready for months.

When it comes to AOS, though... I will be completely on top of that.

Thanks for the encouraging words.

...... I don't care what happens in AOS...

Careful what you say......

I'm dead serious. Just as long as we're together.

[misa 2]

Maybe you could ask one of the Montreal members here to hit him over the head with a frying pan for you? Cuci and Mephys are both in Montreal I think!

(just trying to bring a smile to your face)

Edited February 23, 2007 by misa

[JenT 0]

Is there reason to believe that his lack of follow-through is a pattern? If so, you might want to have a thorough talk with him about how it makes you feel, or you're in for years of frustration ahead. Lived and learned THAT particular lesson with my ex....

Jen

I know what you mean. There have been some things that he has not done that has upset the hell out of me, such as, for whatever reason, him being so unwilling/putting off getting his birth certificate, even though I've been asking him for months why he won't just go get it.

I don't want to make him look like a bad guy. He's not. In fact, he's been better to me than anyone else has. He honestly believed that he should have waited to send the checklist because that's what the directions said and he didn't know that it was the checklist the determined when he got the interview. Even though I could have SWORN I told him that. *sighs* I don't know.

If you explain that his lack of follow-though hurts your feelings because it makes you feel like you aren't a priority to him, perhaps that will give him a clue...