How long did it take you to feel at home in the US?

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Kiki's is good! I'm very tempted by the big jug of Ribena they have there that was the main place I was going to suggest trying as they have a larger selection than anywhere else I've seen (flour, tinned steamed pudding, custard etc as well as the usual teabags and chocolate that other places carry) and the prices aren't as horrendous as they can be elsewhere. Hubby used to work in The Butcher's Block opposite, but it's shut down. It was owned by Irish owners so they had lots of recognisable treats. He now works in their other store in Dorchester which has a decent selection but it's a bit of a schlep, especially if you already know where Kiki's is it's called The Butcher Shop Market if you're ever out that way.

Do you mean Elephant and Castle? I've been told to go there but haven't yet made the trip. Cornwall's in Kenmore has also been mentioned but it looked cheesy when I walked past, so didn't go in.

I came out here with a stash of those big Dairy Milk bars. Needless to say, they are all gone my super lovely husband replaces it with Cadburys bought at his job every so often though!

What happened to your money? Didja get it back?

I think I'll head out to Kiki's next week, I'm not driving here yet but I saw its not a huge walk from the green line. All my big Cadbury bars have gone too and my Devon fudge which is somewhat harder to replenish!

I'll look out for the market as I'm actually living in Dorchester, but I haven't seen it yet! Do they have British/Irish style bacon and sausages etc? I like Lamberts in Dorchester as they aren't too pricey for imported stuff and have good fresh produce too.

Yeah the Elephant and Castle, I wandered in there to watch the World Cup and they had Boddingtons, Newcastle Brown and even Spitfire on tap amongst others. The food was an interesting attempt to be British although to be fair to them it was tasty. Whatever it was!

I got my money back in the end, it took two weeks and it was very stressful as it was most of my savings so was definitely fretting about it. It's now in a US bank account. It got lost somewhere between the currency transfer company and the US bank and for a week the transfer company were saying they had no idea where it was!

[rhirhi 35]

I think I'll head out to Kiki's next week, I'm not driving here yet but I saw its not a huge walk from the green line. All my big Cadbury bars have gone too and my Devon fudge which is somewhat harder to replenish!

I'll look out for the market as I'm actually living in Dorchester, but I haven't seen it yet! Do they have British/Irish style bacon and sausages etc? I like Lamberts in Dorchester as they aren't too pricey for imported stuff and have good fresh produce too.

Yeah the Elephant and Castle, I wandered in there to watch the World Cup and they had Boddingtons, Newcastle Brown and even Spitfire on tap amongst others. The food was an interesting attempt to be British although to be fair to them it was tasty. Whatever it was!

I got my money back in the end, it took two weeks and it was very stressful as it was most of my savings so was definitely fretting about it. It's now in a US bank account. It got lost somewhere between the currency transfer company and the US bank and for a week the transfer company were saying they had no idea where it was!

Oh great! The name is misleading, it's actually just a butcher's shop as opposed to what we think of as a market. Here's the website: http://www.butchershopmarket.com/

They definitely do sell our kinda bacon, sausages etc. I find their bacon a liiiittle bit thick and I have to add a little salt when I'm cooking it but it's still great. I'll have to check out Lamberts next time I'm over that way.

Oh wow. I'm glad you got your money back. Money was what stressed me out the most when I was moving!

[Kiwinyc 62]

I lived here for 8 years while in my 20's so I was familiar with many things but it didn't stop me from subjecting my lovely husband to a few rants in the first months about the useless paper heavy health insurance system and the useless banking service and the awful bacon and the horrible drivers here in Austin. It still has been an adjustment but I've moved cities and countries a lot and learning to get around and feeling like an outsider for various amounts of time is all second nature to me.

I do miss the NHS. Healthcare here is so f*cked up and I hate feeling afraid to ever actually need healthcare because going near it is such a headache.

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

Hey, if you're ever up in NH, out on the coast in Portsmouth NH is a place called the Coat of Arms. They've got some decent food (they even do mushy peas) and lots of British beer on tap. We were in the Elephant and Castle a few weeks back when our friends came out to visit. They stayed in Boston the first night and the Hotel was attached to the pub. We didn't eat there, but consumed more than a few beverages! If you can find a Shaws supermarket near you, they carry a bit of British food in their international aisle...HP Brown and Fruity, mushy peas, and some sweets among other things. Also, since I know Brits love their baked beans, Market Basket carries Heinz beans (the proper ones). We have a place near my mom's that does a great sausage (something I miss a lot because they are MUCH better in the UK) but they're a pain to get to and they run out quickly.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Oh great! The name is misleading, it's actually just a butcher's shop as opposed to what we think of as a market. Here's the website: http://www.butchershopmarket.com/

They definitely do sell our kinda bacon, sausages etc. I find their bacon a liiiittle bit thick and I have to add a little salt when I'm cooking it but it's still great. I'll have to check out Lamberts next time I'm over that way.

Oh wow. I'm glad you got your money back. Money was what stressed me out the most when I was moving!

Thanks for the tips, will definitely check them out.

Hey, if you're ever up in NH, out on the coast in Portsmouth NH is a place called the Coat of Arms. They've got some decent food (they even do mushy peas) and lots of British beer on tap. We were in the Elephant and Castle a few weeks back when our friends came out to visit. They stayed in Boston the first night and the Hotel was attached to the pub. We didn't eat there, but consumed more than a few beverages! If you can find a Shaws supermarket near you, they carry a bit of British food in their international aisle...HP Brown and Fruity, mushy peas, and some sweets among other things. Also, since I know Brits love their baked beans, Market Basket carries Heinz beans (the proper ones). We have a place near my mom's that does a great sausage (something I miss a lot because they are MUCH better in the UK) but they're a pain to get to and they run out quickly.

You are lucky living in NH, we spent our honeymoon up there and it was great

Thanks for all the advice and sharing of your own experiences, It's funny because when I'm with my wife it's like we are permanently on honeymoon and like we've lived together forever at the same time, it's great. When I'm out and about on my own I feel conspicuous because of my accent (hate it when people can't understand me) and I feel like a right nob at crosswalks etc as I always seem to do the wrong thing lol. I'm sure I will get used to it given time and I know that there's things that are better than the UK and things that are worse and I need to stop comparing. Must say I agree with the being afraid of getting ill part because of US healthcare though. When I'm ill I want to go to a doctor or a hospital, not fill out forms!

[a+j 77]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock

It does vary from person to person. I think I was in phase #2 for around one year!

Edited July 19, 2014 by a+j

[Pooky 3,680]

I made the commitment to come here, so I looked for ways to make it work. My first job had me working away from home for long stretches, so "home" was a relative term. Munchkin was a little impatient and joined the family a month after I arrived in the USA, which made things, in equal parts, both easier and harder. Regular visits and longer stays were vital.

After eight months, I finally came "home" and I've been there ever since, wherever "home" actually is.

The secret to getting by? Cinnabon's ooey-gooey yumminess

Edited July 19, 2014 by Pooky

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock

It does vary from person to person. I think I was in phase #2 for around one year!

That is a good article. The only thing I noticed in my husband early on was a slight irritability at times, which I had never seen before. Meanwhile I was jumping through myself thinking it was my job to make him happy. Finally in frustration, I said something like "you seem unhappy and I'm sorry, but it's not my problem so I'm not going to worry about you anymore." That's when he communicated that it had nothing to do with me, or homesickness. He just didn't know where to get things like he did around Oxfordshire. Once he learned Lowe's, Home Depot, Auto Zone, the MOT place, Radio Shack, and a weird little independent computer shop, he could be Mr. Handyman again and lost 99% of his frustration.

Do you think it's an English trait, not wanting to feel conspicuous and apologizing for everything? And perceiving people are evaluating you by how you use the crosswalk or your accent? Those things never bother me, but a grew up where "southern hospitality" is a way of life and total strangers want to be friendly and helpful. If I don't know how to do something, I just ask. Had to do that a lot in the UK when I went out on my own because I never rode a bus before. "How do I know which bus comes here and where it is going? How do I read this sign? How much does it cost? When I get off your bus, where would I find the one to take me back home?"

[nobbie 105]

Whats the deal with the crosswalk thing, they're pretty much the same as in the UK? Not sure why people would not know how to use them. I just cross wherever and whenever I want, although my wife says I should not cross on the diagonal. I merely remind her that where I come from we are allowed to cross the road on our own.

I rarely get asked about my accent here, no-one notices or cares it seems.

[rhirhi 35]

Whats the deal with the crosswalk thing, they're pretty much the same as in the UK? Not sure why people would not know how to use them. I just cross wherever and whenever I want, although my wife says I should not cross on the diagonal. I merely remind her that where I come from we are allowed to cross the road on our own.

I rarely get asked about my accent here, no-one notices or cares it seems.

It's not that we don't know how to use the crosswalks. For me, the crosswalk thing presents a couple of issues:

1. The button will be pressed, the walking man sign has not yet come up but people start crossing anyway. Depending on how many people cross I will either cross with them or wait for the walking man. If I decide to wait I'm left standing their safe but feeling stupid.
2. The button will be pressed, the walking man sign has not yet come up but all traffic from all directions has stopped at lights. I'm stood there waiting and people sat at the lights in their cars will be making "go on" gestures with their hands at me but I'm scared to go as the walking man still hasn't appeared. I don't understand why they think it's safe for me to cross and I have nothing with which to judge how much time I'd have to make it so it's safer to stay put. Usually cars will start moving again and the walking man still hasn't come up, leaving me feeling confused and stupid.

I think it will probably be easier once I start driving and I understand how the traffic lights work from a driver's perspective. My husband can figure it out when we're walking around together by using the traffic lights, he'll often say things like "oh they've got a red light so we can make it across" despite the walking man not showing.

That being said, when I come across crosswalks in quiet areas, where there are no cars, I'll just cross. I only get flustered when in busy areas or when there's lots of cars, because as Nich-Nick said, I don't want to be conspicuous!

Edited July 19, 2014 by rhirhi

[HikerMark 5]

I've been here since late 2008 and it took me a couple of years to feel settled. I too felt a bit like an alien, getting used to the different ways of doing things compared to the UK. However for the last three years since starting up my own accountancy business I have felt much more at home. Meeting lots of new clients, mostly American, has made me a lot more comfortable. Also the overall climate here in Phoenix is too good to pass up. Waking up to sunshine and blue sky almost every day is wonderful.

[KVE 29]

I feel at home anywhere. My home is with my wife. Granted I miss London. However, as long as you are busy you rarely notice it.

I'm having a baby in a couple of weeks so I probably won't have time to think about it. Although we travel 3 or more times a year so I'm sure I'll see a bit of the UK (especially since she's a professor so I get a huge summer holiday).

[Tuscadero 6]

rhirhi Crossing the street in Boston (or Massachusetts in general) is just a confusing thing to do. It's not you. Those of us who grew up around here think that crosswalks are for old ladies and moms pushing strollers. A true Bostonian runs out into traffic and knows that it's the drivers' responsibility to figure it all out I'm not saying that's right, or safe, or smart, I'm just saying that is how I grew up, and I didn't know there was anything different until I lived on the west coast and was met with scowling faces and jaywalking tickets.

Welcome to the Commonwealth!

[rhirhi 35]

rhirhi Crossing the street in Boston (or Massachusetts in general) is just a confusing thing to do. It's not you. Those of us who grew up around here think that crosswalks are for old ladies and moms pushing strollers. A true Bostonian runs out into traffic and knows that it's the drivers' responsibility to figure it all out I'm not saying that's right, or safe, or smart, I'm just saying that is how I grew up, and I didn't know there was anything different until I lived on the west coast and was met with scowling faces and jaywalking tickets. Welcome to the Commonwealth!

Hahaha! That actually makes me feel much better

[*Snowdrop* 604]

I have been here six years and it does not feel like my true home.

That's not to say I don't like it here. I am comfortable with how everything works now and am happy here with my family. There are lots of things I think are done better here than in the UK and I've made some really wonderful friends.

It took me about five months to feel comfortable and about a year to feel really happy here.

But.... I still feel a lightness and happiness appear when I go back to the UK and a feeling of being home. I don't know if I will ever stop hoping we can all go back to live there for good one day.