alcoholic ex holding up I-130 for my wife and step child.

[T&T&T 31]

My wife's ex-husband has been promising to sign a consent letter for two weeks. My info on him is that he has been a heavy drinker for years. He insisted on having a girlfriend while he was married to my wife, thus she divorced him. He refuses to support either of his two daughters. He has spoken to one of the daughters two times in the last 5 years. I think you have the same picture as I do by now. He even had my wife go to talk with his parents to get their advice on whether he should sign the letter or not. He is 50 years old. Today he hit a new low. The reason he gave us for not signing the consent letter for the youngest daughter was that when he gets old he will not have anyone to support him. Like that is going to happen whether he signs or not. So frustrating... except for this consent letter my I-130 package is ready to be mailed. Any Advice? Please do not suggest I pay him... that is not going to happen...

[Chris & Trinh 15]

1. He is an alcoholic, trade a bottle of whiskey for a signature.

2. Hire the local mafia to add some "pressure" to him to sign.

3. Tell him you and your wife will be moving to the US and if the letter of consent is NOT signed the child will have to stay behind, and be his responsibility to raise and support. (a bluff yeah but might work)

4. Get the courts involved, or at least a lawyer sending him a letter stating you will take him to court and if a letter of consent is not signed then the mother will be seeking full child support (if he isn't paying already, which sounds like he isn't) since he seems to want to stay in the child's life now.

5. Don't be so quick to say not to pay him. This might be the easiest option (besides the bottle of whiskey). Yeah maybe it seems like he wins by taking your money. Also a little degrading for the child, being it is almost as she is being bought. However, it might be the easiest way to save time, headache, and allow you to get your family to the US the quickest.

6. If no luck with him, try to work on the grandparents (father's parents) seems like they have the power to tell him what to do.

7. Explain that if the child is given the opportunity to live in the US and gets a higher education she will be best able to help support her old drunken father better with her good job that she would certainly NOT have if she stayed in Vietnam. (not that she will support him but sounds good)

8. Explain that once the child is a US citizen she could always petition for her father to come to the US. (again, not that she would do it, but would sound good to him perhaps)

All I could come up with. I don't have any experience with this situation so I am sure others will have better advice. Of course not all of mine were all that serious (bottle of whiskey) but some would seem logical. Really if he won't sign, going the legal route seems the only option, so seeking some advice from a lawyer would probably be your next step to see what options you have.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Suggestion: ask him what it would take to have him sign the consent and work your way down from there...

[Penguin_ie 5,992]

**** One post removed and title edited. PLease make your point without resorting to bad language ****

[ScottThuy 140]

Money WILL make this situation go away. I understand what he is saying as that is the VN culture that the children take care of the parents when they get old... tell him that if she is here she will be able to take better care of him than if she is there... $$$$$

[T&T&T 31]

Yes, I am aware of what money can do in Vietnam but to sell the rights to your daughter is something I cannot be a part of. Luckily for me I now have a plan B which will work just as well as immigration. The down side to plan B is that my step daughter will not get to finish her schooling in the United States where I think she could benefit. I love living in Vietnam, my wife owns our home, the cost of living here is great, most of the people I meet here are wonderful people and my wife wants to stay in HCMC. Plan B is not to file the I-130 which will save me 2 to 4 thousand dollars plus air fare another 4 thousand dollars and just continue to live here for the next three and one half years until my step daughter turns 18. I can return to the US a couple of times a year to visit. The up side to Plan B is that this poor excuse of a father will not be paid for his poor behavior nor will he gain the affections of his daughter who would like very much to immigrate to the US now. I have given him an ultimatum, I will have the signed consent letter in my hands by this Friday or I will execute plan B. Game over!!!!!! Nice to have options. Thanks for your comments.

[Darnell 8,478]

Consent is needed with I-130? I thought consent was needed with DS-230 OR on interview day.

[T&T&T 31]

Good question.. I thought the same way, Wuhan Rocks, but I read the follow information from a member who advised me to send the consent letter with the I-130 package:

"You do need to include the letter from the biological father along with your I-130. Even though you have an original (one of the 3 originals I referred to in my earlier post), send in a copy. USCIS only wants copies of everything at this initial stage. The reason for that is, if the petitioner doesn't qualify for filing an I-130, USCIS can throw the whole package in the trash. If you sent in original docs, USCIS may feel obligated to return them to you. They do not want that hassle."

However if i Can't get a consent letter now what good would it do to file the I-130 and be turned down later due to the lack of the consent letter?

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

As usual my concern in situations like this goes to the children caught in the middle of all of this.

[T&T&T 31]

Funny that you should ask, "why bother thinking about this immigration petition process at all?", It was in large part for the education of my step daughter as I noted in the down side of plan B. My offer to immigrate to the United States with this young lady and do my best to insure she has the opportunity to become a successful, productive and happy person is still on the table. If this does not come about it will not be me making that decision, it will be her father. Me the villain, I don't think so. I am willing and ready to take the physical and financial responsibility for my wife and her daughter but I will not be blackmailed into doing so. My wife is the most wonderful lady I have ever met. We discuss every decision we make in regards to our family and I assure you she is in complete agreement with my stance on this issue.

[Darnell 8,478]

I'll reiterate:

The letter of consent is not required for I-130 filing.

It will be reviewed with the DS-230 submittal at NVC,

or on interview day.

[T&T&T 31]

are you saying it is possible to take my wife and step daughter to the US without a consent letter from the step daughter's father?

[Darnell 8,478]

no, i am saying it's feasible to file the I-130 petitions on both of them,

without having said consent yet in the casefile.

Later, when the two petitions are approved, they are allowed to apply for a visa at the National Visa Center (NVC)

Doc intake is done at NVC, and it's THEN the consent letter is needed.

However, if'n you not get it in to the casefile during NVC Doc Intake,

that's ok also,

just remember to show it on Interview Day at the IV Unit.

---

Are you filing DCF or to a lockbox address in the USA?

[T&T&T 31]

I think I must file to a lockbox address in the USA, I live in HCMC...

[Darnell 8,478]

ya, USCIS office closed there in 2011.

see

http://hochiminh.usconsulate.gov/uscis-transition.html

http://hochiminh.usconsulate.gov/uscis-transition.html

http://hochiminh.usconsulate.gov/uscis-transition.html

so, yer sending off to the lockbox.

I-130 approval time anywhere from 2 to 7 months, then transit time to NVC another month, then NVC opening the casefile and ready for processing, another month, then DS-230 intake maybe another month,

so

IMO,

you have time to chase this document, and not let it's absence impede yer filing of the I-130. No clue who you were quoting from that private message, but, that letter is not required for I-130 petition submittal.