The bar girl...

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

it does not seem to be overly different than the non-bar girls: some good, some bad.

I know a couple; she came from the province at a very young age. All was well at first, but as time went on, fights ensued and the relationship suffered until they split up. And to my knowledge, she's never been inside a bar to this day, and doesn't drink.

Bad things happen to marriages sometimes. Former places of employment aside, it all depends on the person(s) involved.

As mentioned above, the girl with multiple internet boyfriends... now that is truly not classy. Had a friend get burned by one of those. Was chatting, calling, sending her money every month. Wanted to go meet her, and she kept putting him off. Said she was busy with work (yet online all the time) So he went over unannounced, found out she didn't work where she claimed, but finally found her. Turns out she had like 5-7 guys all sending her money, and was working on one guy (perhaps the one with the most money) for a visa. Duped...

[Niblet 22]

I know a couple; she came from the province at a very young age. All was well at first, but as time went on, fights ensued and the relationship suffered until they split up. And to my knowledge, she's never been inside a bar to this day, and doesn't drink.

Bad things happen to marriages sometimes. Former places of employment aside, it all depends on the person(s) involved.

As mentioned above, the girl with multiple internet boyfriends... now that is truly not classy. Had a friend get burned by one of those. Was chatting, calling, sending her money every month. Wanted to go meet her, and she kept putting him off. Said she was busy with work (yet online all the time) So he went over unannounced, found out she didn't work where she claimed, but finally found her. Turns out she had lik

Don't hate the player...hate the game

e 5-7 guys all sending her money, and was working on one guy (perhaps the one with the most money) for a visa. Duped...

[LSnBigBear 61]

I lived and worked in the Philippines for long stints two times as a single man. I had bargirls as friends and "business" associates (my wife knows my assorted past so no worries). I found when talking with bar girls, going to dinners movies, resorts, that for most, deep down when they open up, they have emotional issues that my guess will cause them hardships at some point in their lifetime. I can count on one hand what I would consider "bad ones" that played me. I did hear from my many bargirl friends over the years that most girls had Filipino boyfriends plus many foreigner BF's on the side for support. Even to the point their Filipino BF allowed them to go for weeks if required to be with their "John" as long as they brought home money. Hell I was played by my ex long time GF in this case as well and she was not a bargirl. She was worse,,, A caddie lol......

Local foreigners that lived long term had a saying "you can take the girl out of the bar, but never the bar out of the girl" I can see this in instances where a girl has worked more than 6 months in a bar. From what my friends and I noticed was about a 6 month period of shyness for new BG's. Once 6 months they open up and then I believe for most are hooked on the money and attention.

I also had friends that married bargirls and for most they are still doing well. For me,,,,,, I was tired of the whole Philippines bar scene and found a School Teacher that had a good past and was just working hard to survive in teaching children. Now she teaches a taller older slower child in me... lmao.

Now that my wife is here we have gone to Fil/Am picnics. I noticed two different personalities there. One is extreme for needing attention, dancing acting out for attention from others and the others are just chika-chika and eating. If I were betting I would say those out-going are former BG's. As for whether their husband knows???? Only they would know this. Most men I met know little about their wives past. So each case is individual and I respect that. It is not for me to judge. Just state from my past experiences. Cheers everyone

[A and T 82]

I met a bargirl here and learned a lot about her and the lifestyle. Its not something they want to do, but of course they are poor and options are limited. They hope to meet a nice guy and marry like everyone else. Some have a lot of family pressure to earn money and support the family but can't at a regular job and sort of end up in the lifestyle.

Out on the streets you see women with kids and they are starving and have nothing. In a way i respect the bar girl at least she is support her kids /family and not just leaving them to starve.

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

It's not an admirable job, to be sure. And given the chance, I'd wager 99.9% of them would choose another occupation. I'd also lay dollars down that the vast majority of them feel like it's the only way to save their family. It's actually quite an extreme sacrifice that they make, especially considering the strong moral background most of them seem to have.

[lierre 224]

Some women look at guys and see money. Some men look at girls and see them only as sex objects

Bar girl or not... Whether it's in the Philippines or Thailand or Russia or USA... These relationships happen A LOT and almost everywhere!

It's pretty naive of a man (or woman, for that matter) to think this kind of "user-friendly" relationship only happens between a bar girl and a willing foreigner.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Heck it happens in the bar just down the road.... there is even a song about it; "The Girls All Get Better Looking At Closing Time"

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

Some women look at guys and see money. Some men look at girls and see them only as sex objects

Bar girl or not... Whether it's in the Philippines or Thailand or Russia or USA... These relationships happen A LOT and almost everywhere!

It's pretty naive of a man (or woman, for that matter) to think this kind of "user-friendly" relationship only happens between a bar girl and a willing foreigner.

I think the original point was that if someone is in this profession does it make them unable to have a successful relationship. For some this is probably true... I like the comment about the get-togethers with others from the Phils and seeing the attention addicts - though I'm not sure which is cause and which is effect (attention addicts possibly gravitating to that type of job).

I submit a larger problem is the mans ability to deal with it. He never gets over the fact that his partner has a past and he dwells on it and dwells on it and it gets the better of him.. He ends up sabotaging the relationship.. and many men never see that *they* are the current problem and when the relationship dies he blames the the fact she was a bar-girl.. Well maybe.. But as a man if you choose that route step #1 is to clear that slate and get over it.

Edited September 6, 2013 by OnMyWayID

[lierre 224]

I think the original point was that if someone is in this profession does it make them unable to have a successful relationship. For some this is probably true... I like the comment about the get-togethers with others from the Phils and seeing the attention addicts - though I'm not sure which is cause and which is effect (attention addicts possibly gravitating to that type of job).

I submit a larger problem is the mans ability to deal with it. He never gets over the fact that his partner has a past and he dwells on it and dwells on it and it gets the better of him.. He ends up sabotaging the relationship.. and many men never see that *they* are the current problem and when the relationship dies he blames the the fact she was a bar-girl.. Well maybe.. But as a man if you choose that route step #1 is to clear that slate and get over it.

Hmm, I think it is a personality thing. Not a specifically bar girl thing. Attention-seeking may be stemming from a whole different set of relationship issues we just don't know about.

I'm Filipino. I miss talking in my language. I don't go to a lot of parties with people from my country but I find it awesome, once in a while, to talk to Filipinos with our common language. But, that's my reason.

So yeah, blaming the other's shady past for a relationship that has gone south can be just a way for a person to deny the existence of his own faults.

[madtownguy 164]

I would not compare a bar girl to anything that happens in the US. Maybe Tijuana. I don't really believe in the they had to do it because of poverty excuse. I can understand dating a bar girl and some sort of relationship. But marriage and getting her over here seems very extreme. I've known plenty of strippers who were pinay or thai and they look down at the bar girls from their country as if stripping in the US is a whole lot better. I guess it just depends what the reason you're getting married is. I'm sure eventually I will just throw it out to one of these guys I meet that imported a bar girl and ask him if he knew or ruin a relationship... ha ha.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

I thought it would be a rare occurrence but have seen some examples on VJ and a few people my wife has met in the US who were obviously bar girls in their past life. It makes me wonder if the guys actually know it and look the other way or if they are oblivious. The dating sites are full of them, which might not be an automatic red light but certainly ups the chances. There is of course the "they are people too" argument, or the "if you were in there shoes". I just don't see how any marriage can be anything but a long time John after someone has done something like that. They should have a course like CFO for US citizens to make sure they know what they are getting into. One of my buddies here married to a Thai girl thinks you have to meet the girl through family already here in the US, I don't agree with that. But I've seen more than I thought I would in the short amount of time my wife has been here.

Kind of like those terrorist that expect 72 Virgins.

If you ask me, I would rather have 72 bad girls .

That's just me

to each their own everybody has differnt tastes

[LoveLife2 5]

I can't believe I wasted time reading this post. All sins are forgiven so who says what is worse then another sin?

[Niblet 22]

I can't believe I wasted time reading this post. All sins are forgiven so who says what is worse then another sin?

Hey,,i'm with ya,,whatever make a person sleep at night,

I just dont understand why those who are married to a former bargirl make such a big deal about admitting it,,

Edited September 6, 2013 by Niblet

[Ban Hammer 13,112]

Hey,,i'm with ya,,whatever make a person sleep at night,

I just dont understand why those who are married to a former bargirl make such a big deal about admitting it,,

quite frankly, it's none of your business. i suggest you drop that posting angle.

[Calypso 464]

quite frankly, it's none of your business. i suggest you drop that posting angle.

Reminds me of an old thread http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/88120-the-benefits-to-marrying-a-former-hooker-joking/