Better late than never

[Darnell 8,478]

ya, exactly !!!! leave madtownguy alone !! He was seeking answers applicable to his living environs, not anyone else's version of what his living environs should be !!! stop it, already !

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

So maybe I should have thought about this sooner but what do your fiancées do all day? Like I realize some work but what about the ones that don't? I've always dated girls with jobs but don't want that for a wife. So I'm trying to figure out how my fiancé won't be bored out of her mind when I'm out working. The house can only be so clean... I do have some stuff she can make money on the Internet with but other than that I can't figure it out. I realize house wives somehow stay busy but with what? I can clean the house in a couple hours so even if that is done everyday there is still a lot of time. I feel like my credit card is going to get hit with shopping like every other girl in my family. Maybe like sewing or somethin?

Facebook, SwagBucks, Housework, Swagbucks, Pinoy Soap Opera, Chismoso with friends, more swagbucks, etc etc.

You should probably talk to her about it. Is she ok with the idea of staying home and not working? That is her decision to make. I feel that cooking, cleaning and other chores have to be shared. You both live together, you are a team. Let her figure out what she wants, but be supportive, don't tell her what to do. Also, ask her what she likes to do, if she has any hobby do some research about fun activities in your area so she has something to do while adjusting to her new life.

I wish you the best of luck!

Just curious.. If working is not shared why should household chores. My wife is very happy staying home. However I am not coming home after 9-10 days and helping do the housework.

Wow. This is a person that you're talking about, a thinking, feeling human being, an adult, your equal. You seem to have confused her for a pet? Is this a real post or a troll?!?

Sounds to me like he loves his wife, and is asking people who are in similar situations things they do to ease the transition. Far from a troll in my book.

[madtownguy 164]

I like how I get responses in a regional discussion from people doing visa in other countries... I could have found a wife from any country in the world, there is a reason I picked Philippines. Because they are traditional and although not all a great majority of the women prefer to be house wives. I have obviously asked her what she wants to do with her life, she has no idea I'm trying to help get her a hobby/money making side gig. Darnell had a great idea actually that is something along the lines I am thinking. I do realize she needs a work permit for a real job, but I would prefer her not have a real job. Now if she can make as much as me and wants to work, then she can and I'll stay home and be a house husband... I definitely could keep myself occupied. I didn't think I'd get a feminist assault from the post that is for sure. I'm sure there's plenty of people in the same boat I'm in. My fiance has told me she doesn't want to get a drivers license, that pretty much eliminates work possibilities. Some things might change, right now she's saying she doesn't want a license, having kids would eliminate that quick. Having kids is what she wants most but I want to have fun for a year and enjoy life, plus if the health system crashes then maybe a year from now it will be cheaper to have a kid, it certainly can't go up in price.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

I like how I get responses in a regional discussion from people doing visa in other countries... I could have found a wife from any country in the world, there is a reason I picked Philippines. Because they are traditional and although not all a great majority of the women prefer to be house wives. I have obviously asked her what she wants to do with her life, she has no idea I'm trying to help get her a hobby/money making side gig. Darnell had a great idea actually that is something along the lines I am thinking. I do realize she needs a work permit for a real job, but I would prefer her not have a real job. Now if she can make as much as me and wants to work, then she can and I'll stay home and be a house husband... I definitely could keep myself occupied. I didn't think I'd get a feminist assault from the post that is for sure. I'm sure there's plenty of people in the same boat I'm in. My fiance has told me she doesn't want to get a drivers license, that pretty much eliminates work possibilities. Some things might change, right now she's saying she doesn't want a license, having kids would eliminate that quick. Having kids is what she wants most but I want to have fun for a year and enjoy life, plus if the health system crashes then maybe a year from now it will be cheaper to have a kid, it certainly can't go up in price.

To those of us married to Pinay women, your questions made perfect sense, and showed your concern for your wife.

As for driving. We are at 1.5 years and she still has zero interest in driving.

[davenjanet 22]

I like how I get responses in a regional discussion from people doing visa in other countries... I could have found a wife from any country in the world, there is a reason I picked Philippines. Because they are traditional and although not all a great majority of the women prefer to be house wives. I have obviously asked her what she wants to do with her life, she has no idea I'm trying to help get her a hobby/money making side gig. Darnell had a great idea actually that is something along the lines I am thinking. I do realize she needs a work permit for a real job, but I would prefer her not have a real job. Now if she can make as much as me and wants to work, then she can and I'll stay home and be a house husband... I definitely could keep myself occupied. I didn't think I'd get a feminist assault from the post that is for sure. I'm sure there's plenty of people in the same boat I'm in. My fiance has told me she doesn't want to get a drivers license, that pretty much eliminates work possibilities. Some things might change, right now she's saying she doesn't want a license, having kids would eliminate that quick. Having kids is what she wants most but I want to have fun for a year and enjoy life, plus if the health system crashes then maybe a year from now it will be cheaper to have a kid, it certainly can't go up in price.

I think your question was quite reasonable and while my situation is not exactly the same it is not that different either. My fiance just graduated from college Saturday with a B.S. in Business Administration. But in the Philippines what does this actually mean she can do? Before I came along she might have parlayed her degree into a job in a call center. So I have asked her what she might want to do when she arrives here. She does not know - the job situation and culture are so different. She wants to work to help her family and not just stay home. But what to do? Finally since she has worked at hotels while going to college, she said she might get a job as a desk clerk at a hotel.

Fortunately I don't need her to make money, so she doesn't have to work 40 hours a week to make ends meet. I want her to find things she enjoys but can be productive at.

Like I say, I don't think it is an unreasonable question at all.

[Caryh 5,206]

I think your question was quite reasonable and while my situation is not exactly the same it is not that different either. My fiance just graduated from college Saturday with a B.S. in Business Administration. But in the Philippines what does this actually mean she can do? Before I came along she might have parlayed her degree into a job in a call center. So I have asked her what she might want to do when she arrives here. She does not know - the job situation and culture are so different. She wants to work to help her family and not just stay home. But what to do? Finally since she has worked at hotels while going to college, she said she might get a job as a desk clerk at a hotel.

Fortunately I don't need her to make money, so she doesn't have to work 40 hours a week to make ends meet. I want her to find things she enjoys but can be productive at.

Like I say, I don't think it is an unreasonable question at all.

Totally reasonable question from my point of view to. But I made the assumption he had talked to her about it and she had absolutely no idea what to do to keep busy in the USA. My wife like your's wanted to work. She's worked since she was a kid, selling brooms door to door after school, and later selling barbecue on the street after school. Once she graduated from college, then she worked for other people for a while until she started her own loan business. This isn't the type of person who would have been happy as a housewife. But she had no idea what she wanted to do in the USA for work. Anything at all was basically her answer. Those first months of not being able to work in the USA drove her crazy. My house was clean when she arrived, I kept it that way because I like it that way, so there was no major cleaning to keep her busy. She did go around and reorganize everything. But after a couple weeks she ran out of things to organize. I even had her put all my books in order by author and series. She was dying to get out of the house and work by the time the EAD showed up. I even had to keep putting my foot down saying she was not allowed to work illegally, although she was being given some opportunities.

When she was not working, I didn't lift a finger around the house. She did absolutely everything, it was kind of a special time in a way that I knew would only be here for a while. I told her when she went to work, all the housework would be split, but she would just say "we'll see". Now she's workings and sees that keeping our home clean and nice is a 50/50 thing. Now she complains about us working too hard in the USA to. And I just reply you're forgetting when I told you to enjoy your time not working My wife had internet at all times. The ability to call home at all times. Satellite TV, streaming videos from computers hooked up to the TV's. But she's never been crafty or had any hobbies except collecting angels. No way did that keep her busy when she first got here and didn't work. I'd drop her off at the mall after I came home for lunch some days, then pick her up after I got off work. But she was just totally bored, she was used to working and wanted to work. As soon as she got the EAD, well even a bit before, searching for a job became her work. She had one within two weeks of getting the card. Quit that job in weeks, it was factory work, to go to a better job in an office, but very bottom rung work. She's now moved on from that doing something a bit higher level. Eventually she may move on from this, but she loves the work for now, and that makes me happy.

All I can say madtownguy, is if she's had a life of leisure in the Philippines, she will find ways to not be bored. Just support her in the things she wants to try and give her the tools to stay busy and connected to the world. If she was used to working, then it might be real tough on her to adjust to leisure. I know some Filipinas here that are totally happy being a housewife, and fell right into it like they were born to it. Give them that baby and they'll certainly never get bored. If you live in a place with easy public transportation, you'll be miles ahead. Take her out and show her how to get around. Yes this will probably mean shopping, but it appears to be a gene that was also given to Filipinas. Start building a large closet for her to fill

[madtownguy 164]

Totally reasonable question from my point of view to. But I made the assumption he had talked to her about it and she had absolutely no idea what to do to keep busy in the USA. My wife like your's wanted to work. She's worked since she was a kid, selling brooms door to door after school, and later selling barbecue on the street after school. Once she graduated from college, then she worked for other people for a while until she started her own loan business. This isn't the type of person who would have been happy as a housewife. But she had no idea what she wanted to do in the USA for work. Anything at all was basically her answer. Those first months of not being able to work in the USA drove her crazy. My house was clean when she arrived, I kept it that way because I like it that way, so there was no major cleaning to keep her busy. She did go around and reorganize everything. But after a couple weeks she ran out of things to organize. I even had her put all my books in order by author and series. She was dying to get out of the house and work by the time the EAD showed up. I even had to keep putting my foot down saying she was not allowed to work illegally, although she was being given some opportunities.

When she was not working, I didn't lift a finger around the house. She did absolutely everything, it was kind of a special time in a way that I knew would only be here for a while. I told her when she went to work, all the housework would be split, but she would just say "we'll see". Now she's workings and sees that keeping our home clean and nice is a 50/50 thing. Now she complains about us working too hard in the USA to. And I just reply you're forgetting when I told you to enjoy your time not working My wife had internet at all times. The ability to call home at all times. Satellite TV, streaming videos from computers hooked up to the TV's. But she's never been crafty or had any hobbies except collecting angels. No way did that keep her busy when she first got here and didn't work. I'd drop her off at the mall after I came home for lunch some days, then pick her up after I got off work. But she was just totally bored, she was used to working and wanted to work. As soon as she got the EAD, well even a bit before, searching for a job became her work. She had one within two weeks of getting the card. Quit that job in weeks, it was factory work, to go to a better job in an office, but very bottom rung work. She's now moved on from that doing something a bit higher level. Eventually she may move on from this, but she loves the work for now, and that makes me happy.

All I can say madtownguy, is if she's had a life of leisure in the Philippines, she will find ways to not be bored. Just support her in the things she wants to try and give her the tools to stay busy and connected to the world. If she was used to working, then it might be real tough on her to adjust to leisure. I know some Filipinas here that are totally happy being a housewife, and fell right into it like they were born to it. Give them that baby and they'll certainly never get bored. If you live in a place with easy public transportation, you'll be miles ahead. Take her out and show her how to get around. Yes this will probably mean shopping, but it appears to be a gene that was also given to Filipinas. Start building a large closet for her to fill

Yeah mine wants to work a little but just enough to send a couple hundred back to her family every month which is not much work. I stick to not sending any money back because I feel like it'll start a bad example of a norm that I don't believe in. I see you are in Minnesota which I would totally try to get her to work there but in Florida it is a pot full of degenerates and I would be hard pressed to find a job where she will be safe and not learn bad habits. I'm from Wisconsin the same would go for living there. She will work for my family right away and I'm hoping that will suffice for her desire of income. I might just have to break down and have kids right away, because like you and others have said once she has a kid there will be plenty to do. I think there's a lot of ways to make money from home online also, especially if you don't need to make enough to pay the bills. A cleaning business is probably one of the best ways to make money and I might see if she wants to do that a little eventually, but with no car it makes it hard. Something will work out, she'll probably just start some type of business if she is motivated like that.

[Caryh 5,206]

Yeah mine wants to work a little but just enough to send a couple hundred back to her family every month which is not much work. I stick to not sending any money back because I feel like it'll start a bad example of a norm that I don't believe in. I see you are in Minnesota which I would totally try to get her to work there but in Florida it is a pot full of degenerates and I would be hard pressed to find a job where she will be safe and not learn bad habits. I'm from Wisconsin the same would go for living there. She will work for my family right away and I'm hoping that will suffice for her desire of income. I might just have to break down and have kids right away, because like you and others have said once she has a kid there will be plenty to do. I think there's a lot of ways to make money from home online also, especially if you don't need to make enough to pay the bills. A cleaning business is probably one of the best ways to make money and I might see if she wants to do that a little eventually, but with no car it makes it hard. Something will work out, she'll probably just start some type of business if she is motivated like that.

Filipinos are great of making a small fortune in business. Unfortunately to do that they need to start with a large fortune.

There are plenty of negative influences no matter where you live. When I've seen people or situations becoming a problem I've expressed my reservations about it to my wife. At times I had to take on the traditional Bana roll and say no, this won't be going on. Of course this upset my wife, but in every case my concerns were proved out in the end. This never really made me happy, but a new Filipina in America can often fall the victim of scammers or just bad people here. And when its their fellow countrywoman doing this, its a pretty sad thing.

A few things I ran into

Somali teenage males who harassed my wife on the light rail line. She now has a negative bias towards all blacks, although one of her best friends is black.

The we can get you a job and work illegally Filipina, who was going to take a big cut of her pay, while she worked below minimum wage at crazy hours.

The leave the husband at home so we can party Filipina crowd. They attempt to recruit the new comers into shopping, parties, hanging out and exclude the husbands. Most are divorced now or soon will be. Although some husbands are perfectly happy with a house cleaner, cook and sex partner, where they don't have to spend time with them. That is not why I'm married personally and to each their own. But I watched one of these women repeatedly tell her husband he didn't want to attend events when he did want to. Really felt sorry for him.

The gossip drama crowd Filipinas. There's constantly a running battled royal going on, and you need to keep hopping with the winning side, but will always be getting bad mouthed by some no matter what you do.

The single friends at work. They'll try to convince the married women its totally alright to spend their evenings eating and drinking with the single girls. They have actually asked my wife why we spend so much time doing things together and talking together Seriously, if you don't enjoy the company of your spouse, why get married? I guess its not a big wonder to me why they're still single and in their 30's.

I know a lot of people will say get your wife involved with the local Filipino crowd. This is a huge double edged sword. Some of the worst problems come out of that group. Your wife is going to want to talk her native language and have friends from their home country. She will almost instantly be friends with any Filipinas she meets. But there are a lot of snakes in the grass there, and your wife isn't going to expecting the trouble that can bring. Be careful for those that are not living their life with the same values you are. Some will try to take advantage of her, and others will just want her to follow the same mistakes they have made in life. When she's been here a while and adjusted, she'll be able to filter the wrong type of people out on her own.

[madtownguy 164]

Filipinos are great of making a small fortune in business. Unfortunately to do that they need to start with a large fortune.

There are plenty of negative influences no matter where you live. When I've seen people or situations becoming a problem I've expressed my reservations about it to my wife. At times I had to take on the traditional Bana roll and say no, this won't be going on. Of course this upset my wife, but in every case my concerns were proved out in the end. This never really made me happy, but a new Filipina in America can often fall the victim of scammers or just bad people here. And when its their fellow countrywoman doing this, its a pretty sad thing.

A few things I ran into

Somali teenage males who harassed my wife on the light rail line. She now has a negative bias towards all blacks, although one of her best friends is black.

The we can get you a job and work illegally Filipina, who was going to take a big cut of her pay, while she worked below minimum wage at crazy hours.

The leave the husband at home so we can party Filipina crowd. They attempt to recruit the new comers into shopping, parties, hanging out and exclude the husbands. Most are divorced now or soon will be. Although some husbands are perfectly happy with a house cleaner, cook and sex partner, where they don't have to spend time with them. That is not why I'm married personally and to each their own. But I watched one of these women repeatedly tell her husband he didn't want to attend events when he did want to. Really felt sorry for him.

The gossip drama crowd Filipinas. There's constantly a running battled royal going on, and you need to keep hopping with the winning side, but will always be getting bad mouthed by some no matter what you do.

The single friends at work. They'll try to convince the married women its totally alright to spend their evenings eating and drinking with the single girls. They have actually asked my wife why we spend so much time doing things together and talking together Seriously, if you don't enjoy the company of your spouse, why get married? I guess its not a big wonder to me why they're still single and in their 30's.

I know a lot of people will say get your wife involved with the local Filipino crowd. This is a huge double edged sword. Some of the worst problems come out of that group. Your wife is going to want to talk her native language and have friends from their home country. She will almost instantly be friends with any Filipinas she meets. But there are a lot of snakes in the grass there, and your wife isn't going to expecting the trouble that can bring. Be careful for those that are not living their life with the same values you are. Some will try to take advantage of her, and others will just want her to follow the same mistakes they have made in life. When she's been here a while and adjusted, she'll be able to filter the wrong type of people out on her own.

Yeah I have dated a lot of pinay and thai here that divorced their husbands once here and noticed exactly what you said. The common denominator is they didn't have children. I always thought it was odd all these girls nights going out to night clubs, you go to night clubs to meet guys. I will say the ones I saw that were married would not let a guy dance with them and remained very faithful from what I could tell. I'm hoping to run into some similar couples, that seems like it would work the best. If all else fails we can just go on a cruise every weekend, there's tons of pinay working on the cruise ships in Cape Canaveral.

[Darnell 8,478]

pinay working on cruise ships are MOSTLY Overseas Foreign Workers, and rarely touch foot onto USA Soil. Shore leave is sometimes granted, but it's up to the Purser on each ship.

[Caryh 5,206]

Yeah I have dated a lot of pinay and thai here that divorced their husbands once here and noticed exactly what you said. The common denominator is they didn't have children. I always thought it was odd all these girls nights going out to night clubs, you go to night clubs to meet guys. I will say the ones I saw that were married would not let a guy dance with them and remained very faithful from what I could tell. I'm hoping to run into some similar couples, that seems like it would work the best. If all else fails we can just go on a cruise every weekend, there's tons of pinay working on the cruise ships in Cape Canaveral.

Don't get me wrong, there's lots of good ones. Or at least ones that live with the same values as us, I'm sure there are some that would say we're no good to

Its just that it will likely take time to find Filipina friends that are a positive influence, rather than a negative, and she's most likely going to want to be friendly without thinking some may be destructive to your relationship, or even to her personally.

[actob99 156]

Wow. This is a person that you're talking about, a thinking, feeling human being, an adult, your equal. You seem to have confused her for a pet? Is this a real post or a troll?!?

It's a valid post, i don't see any distasteful remarks other than yours. How is he suppose to ask his fisncee what she wants to do during the day in america when she hasnt spent a day here yet?