Do we need a sticky for newbies?

[abbi627 43]

My thoughts on this process are hope for the best, expect the worst, and prepare for everything in between, and try to keep a sense of humor. And I have a feeling I am going to need that sense of humor dealing with the process of getting married in Morocco.

[SarAyouBliss 38]

So... after a few years here, I've seen the drama, I've seen the... strong women sharing their sometimes unpopular or "harsh" opinions with newbies and/or people who they characterize as the "rainbows, sunshine, and unicorns" folks... the skepticism that many MENA people get when they post here without telling their USC partners about this place... and it got me wondering...

Do we need a FAQ or "Welcome to the MENA boards" sticky? Something to explain a bit about the tone of the boards to the newbies who come here and might get scared off by the content here? Because I know that the "reality checks" are needed, but it seems like there are an awful lot of questions that come up a lot. It feels like we're constantly describing red flags, etc.

Is a FAQ/introductory post something that we might want to work on as a board and make a sticky? It could include things like:

- What is "MENA" and other acronyms?

- What are "red flags?" How do we overcome them?

- Why is there so much talk about fraud on the MENA boards?

- Why do people keep asking me hard questions that might seem irrelevant or like they don't trust our relationship? (answer- because that's what you are up against at the consulate)

- Past interview questions

- Why do people here seem "harsh?"

- Country-specific details that come up often

Again-- just a thought! I know that it would have been helpful to me to see this all in one place when I first started... before jumping into the discussion head-first, so to speak!

Love and respect to all!

k

As a newbie but not being USC in here, i've been noticing so much demoralization and hope-destroying people, many of them justify their behaviors as being factual or to-the-point because immigration is no fun, the newbies eventually realize it's no fun, and that they should do their absolute best to overcome their weaknesses and to not anticipate or expect any good from the immigration corps, "oldbies" are supposed to open newbies' eyes not demoralize them which harsh.

[sandinista! 1,816]

As a not newbie I've seen crazy women asking for advice on how to steal their MENA husband's child away from their custodial mother in Egypt, a woman find out her husband is actually married to another woman besides herself, whose nieces and nephews were actually his own spawn and somehow this is the consular officer's fault, and mother/daughter US citizens hook up with MENA brothers. So pardon my cynicism, because that's just the tip of the iceberg.

[msheesha 548]

As a newbie but not being USC in here, i've been noticing so much demoralization and hope-destroying people, many of them justify their behaviors as being factual or to-the-point because immigration is no fun, the newbies eventually realize it's no fun, and that they should do their absolute best to overcome their weaknesses and to not anticipate or expect any good from the immigration corps, "oldbies" are supposed to open newbies' eyes not demoralize them which harsh.

I find the wide-eyed ignorance of newbies and the generalization of all things MENA, along with the phenomenon of newbies expressing some weird notion that their MENA s.o. is some rare exotic species rather than a human being much more annoying than any of the realism that comes from the non-newbies. But, different strokes for different folks, as they say.

Edited February 20, 2013 by msheesha

[Cathi 5,696]

Excellent idea

[Staashi 371]

As a not newbie I've seen crazy women asking for advice on how to steal their MENA husband's child away from their custodial mother in Egypt, a woman find out her husband is actually married to another woman besides herself, whose nieces and nephews were actually his own spawn and somehow this is the consular officer's fault, and mother/daughter US citizens hook up with MENA brothers. So pardon my cynicism, because that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Oh, Sandinista! You referenced my very favorite VJ interview post of all time AKA the Jerry Springer interview. Just reread that whole thread, and I still cannot believe the audacity of the USC to blame the CO for pointing out that the man had been married twice, instead of once, and had five kids rather than the two he presented originally. Yes, those COs are mean people!!! As I've always maintained, COs have seen it all, and they can spot a fraudster from a mile away.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Oh, Sandinista! You referenced my very favorite VJ interview post of all time AKA the Jerry Springer interview. Just reread that whole thread, and I still cannot believe the audacity of the USC to blame the CO for pointing out that the man had been married twice, instead of once, and had five kids rather than the two he presented originally. Yes, those COs are mean people!!! As I've always maintained, COs have seen it all, and they can spot a fraudster from a mile away.

That was one of the Top 10 Most Outrageous MENA Messes of All Time ! The consulates have access to the beneficiary's official marriage and divorce records in the foreign country, so it was absolutely moronic of that guy to try to fudge on that - they could instantly see it didn't match what was on record.

I have wondered what happened to that petitioner. Her whole case was full of humongous screaming red flags from the beginning, and it just kept getting worse and worse. After hearing many additional appalling details in PM (this was way before the interview when all was revealed !) I tried to tactfully tell her that things weren't adding up and none of the guy's stories made sense, but she just got defensive and angry. She eventually stormed out of VJ in a huff, posting once of those memorable Dramatic Forum Farewells, flaming just about everyone for having any doubts about the guy's sincerity. Last I heard, she was trying to orchestrate a move for both of them to some 3rd country... somehow, I doubt that happened.

Anyway, this is an all-too common reaction when a love-struck newbie arrives in the MENA forum, gushes out a story which is blaring all the classic markers of fraud, and the MENA regulars point out that it don't smell right.

Edited February 22, 2013 by wife_of_mahmoud

[Ihavequestions 419]

That was one of the Top 10 Most Outrageous MENA Messes of All Time !

Link, please. I don't remember that lunacy.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Link, please. I don't remember that lunacy.

Search something about "Jerry Springer interview" in MENA forum.

[Staashi 371]

For your reading pleasure...

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/139731-jerry-springer-interview/page__fromsearch__1

[Staashi 371]

That was one of the Top 10 Most Outrageous MENA Messes of All Time ! The consulates have access to the beneficiary's official marriage and divorce records in the foreign country, so it was absolutely moronic of that guy to try to fudge on that - they could instantly see it didn't match what was on record.

I have wondered what happened to that petitioner. Her whole case was full of humongous screaming red flags from the beginning, and it just kept getting worse and worse. After hearing many additional appalling details in PM (this was way before the interview when all was revealed !) I tried to tactfully tell her that things weren't adding up and none of the guy's stories made sense, but she just got defensive and angry. She eventually stormed out of VJ in a huff, posting once of those memorable Dramatic Forum Farewells, flaming just about everyone for having any doubts about the guy's sincerity. Last I heard, she was trying to orchestrate a move for both of them to some 3rd country... somehow, I doubt that happened.

Anyway, this is an all-too common reaction when a love-struck newbie arrives in the MENA forum, gushes out a story which is blaring all the classic markers of fraud, and the MENA regulars point out that it don't smell right.

I think every VJ MENA newbie should be made to read that interview summary...just so they know that sometimes, this shiz is too freaking crazy to be made up.

[Darnell 8,478]

Kristen - na, I don't think so.

Instead, how about a viewable sticky for cell phone users?

I mention that, as all FAQ-related stuff can be found in the advanced search tool here, and folk using a cell phone browser see a different 'landscape' of VJ, where the advanced search tool just isn't viewable.

[Ihavequestions 419]

For your reading pleasure...

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/139731-jerry-springer-interview/page__fromsearch__1

Oooooooooooooooooooooh, now I remember.

I thought it was the one about the guy with the wife in Canada, just in case the US visa didn't work out, or the guy with the wife in Italy, just in case the US visa didn't work out.

Then there's the lady who came to Cairo to meet her internet habibi, a guy with a wife and five children and lived in a neighborhood that was so bad taxis wouldn't drive into it. Wait, that wasn't on VJ, that was IRL. Never mind.

[sandinista! 1,816]

Kristen - na, I don't think so.

Instead, how about a viewable sticky for cell phone users?

I mention that, as all FAQ-related stuff can be found in the advanced search tool here, and folk using a cell phone browser see a different 'landscape' of VJ, where the advanced search tool just isn't viewable.

On my handphone, all I do for an advanced search is just tap the little "full screen version" hyperlink that's on the bottom of every vj page when viewed from previously mentioned handphone. It admittedly sucks, and is hard to see, but doable.

[sandinista! 1,816]

That was one of the Top 10 Most Outrageous MENA Messes of All Time ! The consulates have access to the beneficiary's official marriage and divorce records in the foreign country, so it was absolutely moronic of that guy to try to fudge on that - they could instantly see it didn't match what was on record.

I have wondered what happened to that petitioner. Her whole case was full of humongous screaming red flags from the beginning, and it just kept getting worse and worse. After hearing many additional appalling details in PM (this was way before the interview when all was revealed !) I tried to tactfully tell her that things weren't adding up and none of the guy's stories made sense, but she just got defensive and angry. She eventually stormed out of VJ in a huff, posting once of those memorable Dramatic Forum Farewells, flaming just about everyone for having any doubts about the guy's sincerity. Last I heard, she was trying to orchestrate a move for both of them to some 3rd country... somehow, I doubt that happened.

Anyway, this is an all-too common reaction when a love-struck newbie arrives in the MENA forum, gushes out a story which is blaring all the classic markers of fraud, and the MENA regulars point out that it don't smell right.

There was Expats spillover too where even more sordid details were revealed, for what purpose I do not know