engagement ring isn't required, is it?

[Lynkali 163]

There have been a number of posts lately talking about engagement rings, receipts, and so on ... making me nervous and I just wanted to set my mind at ease: we are not required to have an engagement ring, are we???

I have no desire for a ring (I'm the USC, female), since I never ever wear jewelry and I'm not big on tradition at all. (I've even told him never to buy me flowers, although chocolate is ok!) And we don't even have any official engagement story or "proposal" -- we started talking about getting married about three years into our six-year relationship, simply because it seemed the only possible way for us to actually live together permanently, in either country. So if anyone proposed, I think it was me, not him!

I'm also not going to change my name when we get married, nor are we planning any sort of elaborate ceremony -- at most, just my immediate family when we go to the justice of the peace, or something along those lines, with maybe a nice family dinner afterwards. Nothing traditional whatsoever, and I might not even wear a skirt! (Not big on dresses either.)

None of that means I love him any less, or that our relationship isn't real ... and I certainly hope USCIS doesn't insist on things that would mean nothing to us, personally.

So, just needing to make sure: will the lack of a proposal, lack of an engagement ring, lack of a big wedding party ... any of that be a problem or cause for concern, at either the interview stage or later, when we adjust status and eventually remove conditions? I can't see why traditions like that would ever be required, but so many posts lately seem to focus on wedding plans and rings, that it has me feeling a bit out of place and nervous!

[LeftCoastLady 441]

People plan the weddings they want to have and in some cases, that may be an additional means of proof if they're going through a consulate deemed "high-fraud." However, for just the petition, it's not a requirement to have a ring or any of the other traditional trappings of marriage. I'm wearing an engagement ring, but I like jewelry. It's nothing fancy (it's from a local designer who sells her things on Etsy), but serves as a reminder of my fiancé since we decided what it would look like together.

When my fiancé did his interview, he was asked about wedding plans and simply said we're going to do a small ceremony as soon as possible after he enters the US. That's it, no additional details, no having to show any specific details, etc. (However, that is a consulate-dependent item since there are certain cultures where pre-marriage customs are expected.)

After marriage, it will be more about showing proof that you live together, share bills, etc. Many who do the K-1 go for the quick courthouse or small ceremony so they can move forward with the adjustment of status. Good luck!

There have been a number of posts lately talking about engagement rings, receipts, and so on ... making me nervous and I just wanted to set my mind at ease: we are not required to have an engagement ring, are we???

I have no desire for a ring (I'm the USC, female), since I never ever wear jewelry and I'm not big on tradition at all. (I've even told him never to buy me flowers, although chocolate is ok!) And we don't even have any official engagement story or "proposal" -- we started talking about getting married about three years into our six-year relationship, simply because it seemed the only possible way for us to actually live together permanently, in either country. So if anyone proposed, I think it was me, not him!

I'm also not going to change my name when we get married, nor are we planning any sort of elaborate ceremony -- at most, just my immediate family when we go to the justice of the peace, or something along those lines, with maybe a nice family dinner afterwards. Nothing traditional whatsoever, and I might not even wear a skirt! (Not big on dresses either.)

None of that means I love him any less, or that our relationship isn't real ... and I certainly hope USCIS doesn't insist on things that would mean nothing to us, personally.

So, just needing to make sure: will the lack of a proposal, lack of an engagement ring, lack of a big wedding party ... any of that be a problem or cause for concern, at either the interview stage or later, when we adjust status and eventually remove conditions? I can't see why traditions like that would ever be required, but so many posts lately seem to focus on wedding plans and rings, that it has me feeling a bit out of place and nervous!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

None of that is a requirement. They might ask about plans but there are no requirements (except if you live in a country with specific cultural norms).

[QueenE 174]

I hate rings lol, I dont have an engagement ring and we arent having a big wedding right away either. I wouldnt worry about it.

[P A U L 14]

the only thing i'm planning on taking to the interview are call logs and skype screenshots. i mean, i'm the UScit, my fiancee will be interviewed, but i'm going with her. i think the pictures we already supplied for the petition, and the fact that i flew across the atlantic and went through the trouble of acquiring a russian visa to go there would suffice.

[HK12 273]

At my interview, I was asked to describe when and how we got engaged (seems to be a standard question at the Consulate in Germany). I also saw that another girl who had her interview before me was asked by the consular office to show him her engagement ring.

The bottom line is, an engagement ring is not required, but I would read some embassy reviews for Helsinki and would check back with the regional forum to see if there are any country-specifics like here in Germany. If they do ask, I would think that your fiancé could just explain to them why you decided not to have an engagement ring and a formal engagement, and that should work.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I think they understand that for some people it isn't something they want. With my first husband, I never had an engagement ring. This time I wanted a big one. I think a lot of couples also find the expense of an engagement ring a little much, but for my husband and I we both had engagement rings that became our wedding band/ring. We couldn't really afford to get two separate quality rings so we just got one.

We actually didn't have a wedding party - it was just us and the witnesses at the wedding chapel at the kommune. I think from low-fraud countries, like the ones in Finno-Scandinavia, they are going to understand that some people aren't lots of picturse, big wedding, and rings types. Big American style weddings aren't really done, at least in Denmark, and many people just invite 4 or 5 people to their wedding, if any at all.

Oh, and my husband proposed in bed, in the middle of the night - he couldn't wait any longer to ask. Not very romantic, especially because I had already picked out the ring and he is shipped it to my house before he visited. I think we won't be sharing that story.

You've been together for 6 years already? I think you'll be just fine. A lot of these people getting denied are from high fraud countries and they've only met once or twice and have other red flags like a big age difference (not that I don't believe in love, but a 23 year old man doesn't usually want to take on grandchildren).

[agrabs 241]

Like a previous poster suggested - I would read the reviews for your particular consulate. I was with my fiance for his interview and they did ask to see my engagement ring. I had read reviews of the romanian consulate so I knew they probably would ask about a ring. It doesn't mean you need to have one - you just need to be prepared to answer their questions. Same with your wedding plans. The process is stressful enough - enjoy your journey! Congratulations!

[QueenE 174]

If this was facebook I would like this

I think they understand that for some people it isn't something they want. With my first husband, I never had an engagement ring. This time I wanted a big one. I think a lot of couples also find the expense of an engagement ring a little much, but for my husband and I we both had engagement rings that became our wedding band/ring. We couldn't really afford to get two separate quality rings so we just got one.

We actually didn't have a wedding party - it was just us and the witnesses at the wedding chapel at the kommune. I think from low-fraud countries, like the ones in Finno-Scandinavia, they are going to understand that some people aren't lots of picturse, big wedding, and rings types. Big American style weddings aren't really done, at least in Denmark, and many people just invite 4 or 5 people to their wedding, if any at all.

Oh, and my husband proposed in bed, in the middle of the night - he couldn't wait any longer to ask. Not very romantic, especially because I had already picked out the ring and he is shipped it to my house before he visited. I think we won't be sharing that story.

You've been together for 6 years already? I think you'll be just fine. A lot of these people getting denied are from high fraud countries and they've only met once or twice and have other red flags like a big age difference (not that I don't believe in love, but a 23 year old man doesn't usually want to take on grandchildren).

[Tintin and Mike 127]

I didn't get a ring but it didn't matter

Good luck!