I feel completely hopeless

[Lyric 0]

I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't. Of course we postponed the interview b/c my fiance didn't want to saddle me with the burden of debt for his medical bills here in the U.S. (if they would have given him a visa in the first place) But I have been researching immigrating to Canada and I can't even believe how complicated and expensive it is!!!! I just don't know how we would be able to survive if I came there married and applied within. There's just no way

Not only that but the stupid doctors there are totally screwing with his life. He was diagnosed a month ago and it could be at LEAST one month before anything is done. They're going to kill him. Now I wish he would have done the medical and the visa interview to come here, IF I could have talked him into it. Money means nothing when it comes to someone's life. I just don't know what to do anymore.

[Reba 2]

I know it seems rather frightening, and incredibly slow going, but that's the state of things there. If something opens up, I'm sure they'll get him in. Tell him to make sure to tell his doctors to get him on a waiting list for any appointments that open up. Very often this can get you in quicker.

You just have to do what you have to do. Immigration fees to Canada will be a HELLUVA lot less than medical bills in the US!

**edit to add*

I just asked myhusband how much it cost him for his cancer treatments a few years ago. He said WITH INSURANCE it cost him over $150,000 US. Your fiance won't be able to get insurance. It'll likely cost 2 times or 3 times that.

Edited November 1, 2006 by Reba

[jamrok 0]

I know it seems rather frightening, and incredibly slow going, but that's the state of things there. If something opens up, I'm sure they'll get him in. Tell him to make sure to tell his doctors to get him on a waiting list for any appointments that open up. Very often this can get you in quicker.

You just have to do what you have to do. Immigration fees to Canada will be a HELLUVA lot less than medical bills in the US!

**edit to add*

I just asked myhusband how much it cost him for his cancer treatments a few years ago. He said WITH INSURANCE it cost him over $150,000 US. Your fiance won't be able to get insurance. It'll likely cost 2 times or 3 times that.

(((((HUG))))))

[Cristy 4]

That is the thing about Canada. Sure it is 'free' but it takes forever. I wish you both luck.

[David and Karen 0]

Immigration fees to Canada will be a HELLUVA lot less than medical bills in the US!

That is one way to look at it! If there is a positive that combined with being with your loved one has got to be it! Best wishes.

[hockeygal 0]

I'm sorry Lyric. i wish I had some great advice to give.

I don't know much about the immigration route to Canada - but I can imagine it is no easier or cheaper than any other immigration process. I agree that it will be cheaper than medical costs in the US though. Is it something you might be able to get started, so you can decide as things move along, whether it is the route to take, without having to put out all the cash upfront?

Can you take some time off work and visit Canada to be with him while he gets his treatments?

((Lyric))

[Married_my_love 0]

I am so sorry for what you're going thru.

I did both (us & can), and I don't see that canada's apps are any more difficult than the US ones

and I also spent equally as much on US, only Canada you pay the money up front

I think you're just overwhelmed... obviously. I wish you the best in whatever decision you make.

[Lyric 0]

I don't mean to be a whiner, guys. Things are just going from bad to worse and there's no good answer to anything. If it was up to me, I would have had him come here. When it comes to someone's LIFE money means nothing. sigh. He unfortunately didn't see it that way and there's nothing I can do about that.

I wish I could go there now but there a few reasons I can't. I have to keep working as long as possible because when and IF they ever get his surgery scheduled I want to be able to be there and take off from work then.

I've looked at the Canadian immigration papers and they want every intimate detail of your life. Who knows about your relationship, who they are to you, when you met them...blah, blah, on top of practically demanding you handover your first born. On top of everything else. It's insane.

Holy #######. I just want to get his illness treated and be able to have a frigging life where at least one of us is allowed to work and have some semblance of a married life. Apparently thanks to government red tape that's going to be nearly impossible. The Canadian health care system is going to make sure he doesn't get the help he needs NOW. I'm so tired of bad things happening over and over. It just won't stop.

[Married_my_love 0]

[lynamon 0]

Lyric,

It's heartbreaking reading what you have been going through and my thoughts and prayers are with you. My fiance went through brain surgury this past summer for a tumour removal so I somewhat understand the frustration of being tied to job and responsibilities when all that you want to do is be by their side. I wish that I had some advice for you ... it's aweful when you try to do things by the book and our governments will not compensate for humanitarian issues. If I think of anything I'll let you know ..

[chocolaterie 0]

the last time i checked (3 years ago) the Canadian immigration process was no less time consuming or expensive as the American immigration process. You might just feel overwhelmed. It may help to find a website that is like visajourney except for Canada. Much less expensive than a lawyer. But of course in either case it is hard, because you want to be with the one you love. If money is not a case I can recommend what my parents did for my father's brother. Take a loan out and fly your love to a country that will expediate his treatment.

[rebeccajo 14]

Sorry you have to go through this.

Does a hug help?

[thermophile 0]

on the immigration front-

have you two lived together so you could apply as common-law? If not what about just going up to whereever he is get married then you come back to the states? It's not ideal but then you could start your Canadian application. Make sure that you have proof of ties to the US to improve your chances of crossing the border-or if he comes down to you...

I found that the Canadian process was a lot quicker than the US process-especially if you are applying out of country.

What do you do? Could you possibly work under NAFTA if you want to move to Canada while your visa is being processed?

Don't get too bogged down in the Canadian application. I wrote a sentence or two for each question, provided dates for each visit (I had to attach an extra sheet for that), and copied 5 or 6 pictures to show that we actually spent time together. I got my PR approved without an interview.

On the medical side of the situation-

Have you looked at normal treatment times for his particular cancer, maybe it isn't uncommon for a month or two to pass between diagnosis and treatment. Still sucks, but it seems like you have enough things to worry about, if you can check one off the list that would be nice.

Maybe contact the society for that particular cancer and see if they have a support group for your honey's town/area-if so they could be really valuable in sorting out what doctors/clinics are best and quickest.

hope some of this helps

therm

[Caladan 19]

*hugs*

Sorry to hear about the delay in treatment. For what it's worth, delays in scheduling surgeries are relatively common in the U.S., too, (you still have to find the doctor, schedule it, get prepped) so I don't think you've lost any valuable time by not moving down here.

Hang in there, and good luck.

[Reba 2]

the thing about Canadian immigration forms is they're asking for everything all up front, rather than like the US immigration who asks for it in dribs and drabs. Same ######, different pile.