Montreal Waiting Room Reflections

[Jersey Girl 2]

It has been over a month since we sent back the checklist. By now, we've learned how to wait: hanging loose, taking things day by day, continually working toward our goal.

We haven't seen each other since we got married in March. Each of us has changed in the past 7 months. We've learned patience the hard way. We've each taken awful jobs as a means to an end. We've prayed like never before.

What will we be like once we finally meet in Montreal for the inteview? Older, wiser, thinner (in his case), heavier (in mine), tired, quiter. This is a grueling process with many pitfalls.

But I have to believe that we'll be stronger as a couple, and ready to take on new challenges. There's a saying that "you're in exactly the place God wants you to be." Hard to prove or disprove. But this year may not have been about a visa. It may have been about earning a passport to a new level in life that's yet to be revealed.

Have I gone batty because of the interminable waiting? Or do you have a story to tell about how this journey has transformed you into someone more ...

[jg_am 0]

I know what you mean Jerseygirl. Two years ago when my fiancee and I were just acquaintances, we stopped emailing(we met while serving at a handicamp). Then I had a schedule change at work that turned everything upside down. I was convinced it was God telling me it's time for a new job. In this time Ashley started emailing me again because she heard of the schedule change. That time in my life was one of the most frusrtating things I experienced. Yet I don't doubt that helped lay a foundation for where I am today. In that time I learned to wait; learned to trust His timing; learned to hear His voice; and saw that "my best" wasn't "God's best".

I read something by Os Hillman that said to embrace the time in the desert. That's where God can do his deepest work. It stinks because it's a time of isolation and a time of questioning, but it refines us.

People in my small group at church have remarked about my example of faith. It's not like I have a choice here. This is whole process is 'peaceful anxiety'(I forget the author), where we're worried because there's nothing we can do, but we can have peace because there's nothing we can do.

[James and Daniela 0]

What a great topic Jersey Girl. You are so right - this is not at all about the Visa and James and I have surely discovered that during the time of separation. We always have known and believed that God is in total control of everything in our lives, including our separation. We believe in total Sovereignty of God and that He orchestrates all occasions - even the ones that don't seem to us as 'good', but we do know that as it says in Romans 8:28 - that God works all things (even the bad) for good to those who love him. We know that we only grow through trials - not when things are going 'our' way, so we knew that we are to grow through this and learn something. When the Lord tests us - it is not so He can see where we are at - BUT so WE can see where we are at and where we need to grow. So our biggest question was, what it is it that we are to learn in this. Yes, some lessons were more evident from start than others....like patience, but the big picture finally came about a month ago for us. It suddenly was a like a light bulb going off. Yes - in our minds we always believed and claimed His Sovereignty.....but we had to match our heart's attitude to it. How can we say we believe that He is in total control and that we want all that He has for us (including trials so we can be all that He is shaping us to be) and then wake up each day with more and more anxieties and worries. TRUST ME - that is all that kept coming to us. In my case - not only we had no date for interview, but my house got sold and I knew I had to be out by the end of this month - and still no interview. My house has become bare as I sold everything and I have been living just with a mattress on the floor....no pots, no pans, no plates.....all is gone. People would ask - what are you going to do - where are you going to live????? The answer always was - the Lord knows. It was at the time when we reached peace about it all and finally matched our hearts with our knowledge of His Sovereignty - when suddenly James had this idea about transferring our case to Vancouver. We took it as a leading from the Lord and just trusted Him to do with it as He ordains. And so now our interview comes right after I move out. My original plans were to go and spend a few days with my kids, and so the timing is absolutely perfect - move out, time with kids, interview and then back home with my husband. We didn't think of doing this before because it was not the Lord's timing - we had to learn first. There was many other lessons in all this experience - but His sovereignty was the biggest. The Lord knows all about longing to be with His bride and Paul knew all about longing to be face to face with his brothers (he was torn by the separation), ....read 1 Thessalonians...it helped us to pray. Our transferring to Vancouver was the Lord's leading, it may not be for all, but there is a lesson, growth and learning for all in exactly the way the Lord has already ordained for us to go through. Embrace it, thank Him for the trials to help you grow, and know that His grace is sufficient. In everything we do and say - we are to glorify Him and I can say that James and I are giving all the glory to Him.

Edited October 21, 2006 by James and Daniela

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I would like to add another voice to this topic. While we were waiting both Joe and I felt like our lives were on hold - in suspended animation. True, around us our own lives were going forward. I continued to work and to plan for what would happen when we were together. We talked and expressed our longing for when we were together and got to know each other a bit better. We also tried to deal with the stress of being apart and even when we visited that stress was still apparent. At times we felt like it would never happen and came close to breaking up - ironically on the very day before our NOA2 came through. We were at a party that very night given by my friends to celebrate our engagement - and I had no idea if "we" would make it or not! Once things started to move forward again, we continued forward knowing that 'what if we didn't make it' was a possibility, but we just re-affirmed our commitment to each other, gritted our teeth and continued to wait.

A huge sigh of relief from 2 and a half years later . . . it is so hard to believe it has been that long! Life is much, much, much smoother and happier. We measure our life in days lived not in days apart and enjoy each day as it comes without that awful spectre of the unknown future hanging over us any more. It is so much easier - even when we are stressed and annoyed with each other - that happens in the best of relationships:). So, grit your teeth, and when you think you have got to the end of your rope, just tie a knot and hang on. I can promise you - it is all worth it and like giving birth toa baby, the 'pain' of the labour dulls in the 'joy' of the delivery:-). Good luck on your journey and know that home in each other is worth the wait.

[boboroad 0]

We know that we only grow through trials - not when things are going 'our' way, so we knew that we are to grow through this and learn something.

Oh I agree, molding and shaping us, we are in the potters hand. I have learned through this journey, it is not only what we are learning, or will learn later in retro. But what others are seeing in the way we handle the situation, what they are learning. WHen people, mostly the guys I work around, how do you do it, how can you keep from just going off on someone, and so. This is the time I get to give the Glory to God.