Less and Less Communication

[JulietteandRob 5]

I would not be so quick to make a decision to dump the guy. It happens all the time, a man goes to another country and meets a woman and spends a few days or a few weeks with her, then comes home and files for a visa. He don't really know her, he would never agree to marry someone in his own country after being with someone for that amount of time. Kind of what a fiance visa is for, to allow the two of you to be together for 90 days, then at the end of that period together get married or not get married. The visa gives you a little more time to make that decision to spent your life with this guy, or not. I've seen it happen several times, either the woman in the Phills or the foreign man keeps on dating other people. The guy could have lied to you and come up with another story, so he probably is being truthful about being faithful when you come here . Now you can chat online for years, but you don't really know a person until you spend a lot of time with them in person.

No, I'm not saying it is right, or that all foreign men, or all women in the Phills are unfaithful to the ones they are engaged too, but some are. Most will be faithful after they are married, some will not that is just the way it is.

Maybe your right about, maybe Im acting too mad or bothered about this. I thinking you have some good

point about some of what you said. Im really confuse about what to do now.

Im thinking maybe Im give in him some freedom about what hes going to do there when Im not there ?

Other post have also good advice, but always wants to end this relationship. This is the only so far

thats seems maybe gonna be good marriage after.

Wish Im gonna make a decision about and not keep going back and forth. If this post is not going to

happen then Im decision was to not marry this person, now Im thinking about if Im to do that.

Now Im just pray and hope make right choice.

[DaRoq 36]

Unbelievable... If the OP was a guy he would've been called out as a troll and lectured to no end. Instead, everyone is coddling this girl who's doing no less than making tampo.

As they say,"There are two sides to every story", and we've only read one of them. It's entirely possible that the OP'a judgement was clouded by the prospect of a "better" life. How soon did she fall in love with the guy anyway? Had they ever met in person and consummated the relationship? Maybe the guy wasn't in the same place yet, but felt compelled to say the "sweet" things Filipinas seem to demand.

I hope some lessons will be learned from this experience:

1. Not only Filipino Men cheat. You should keep your heart open to ANY man who will love you, regardless of ethnicity.
   
2. Don't be so quick to give your heart to someone else. Allow the man to express his feelings when he's ready.
   
3. Putting yourself out there for the purpose of marriage and emigrating to the U.S. is risky.
   
4. Men don't like women who are needy. The quickest way to point us to another woman is to expect too much, such as twice-daily calls or e-mails.
   
5. Distance matters. Even with all the technological advances, there's no substitute for actually being together in the same place.
   
6. Sex matters. If it didn't, there wouldn't be a market for "male enhancement" drugs.
   

[actob99 156]

Unbelievable this thread has gotten. 22 posts by intelligent peope to leave the guy because he is stooping another woman and has no respect for his fiancee, soon to be wife.

And 1 post saying maybe don't leave him because maybe he will change. He is in america without you so maybe its ok to cheat. Maybe its because their not married yet and by the way the fiancee visa is just to get to know each other better in America. ARE YOU %#<>ing kidding me. And the OP takrs the advice of this one post? To the OP, after your last comment yes I think you should mArry him and be miserable .

I know this is the thought process in the PI, not by all and wouldn't say the majority, but by far more than in america. I made sure I'm marrying a woman who says she will cut my titi off if I cheat because the same goes the other way, I drive down a two lane highway!!!!!!

[B_J 2,752]

Maybe your right about, maybe Im acting too mad or bothered about this. I thinking you have some good

point about some of what you said. Im really confuse about what to do now.

Im thinking maybe Im give in him some freedom about what hes going to do there when Im not there ?

Other post have also good advice, but always wants to end this relationship. This is the only so far

thats seems maybe gonna be good marriage after.

Wish Im gonna make a decision about and not keep going back and forth. If this post is not going to

happen then Im decision was to not marry this person, now Im thinking about if Im to do that.

Now Im just pray and hope make right choice.

Okay, I'm not going to tell you what to do but I'll tell you our story. My wife and I talked online for 10 months before I went to visit her the first time. While we talked online, I never cheated. I was interested in her so I talked to her instead of going out with other women.

You said your fiance filed in February so that means you've been waiting for less than 6 months. When I returned to the states and we began the visa process, we were apart just like you are now. We ended up being apart from each other for 424 days. That was a long, difficult time. And during that time I never cheated and, more importantly, I never considered cheating.

I did what most do. I talked online with her. We would talk on Skype every chance we had. Going out with other women never crossed my mind. The fiance visa is for those who are committed to each other, it's not for those who want 90 days to get to know each other.

If you accept a guy who cheats on you, then you're going to get a guy who cheats on you. A guy who is committed to you simply would not cheat. It doesn't matter if you're with him or you're on the other side of the planet, a guy who is committed to you doesn't cheat.

You have to decide what type of guy you want; a guy who cheats or a guy who is faithful.

[JoBri 545]

Amen

100% my thoughts.

Okay, I'm not going to tell you what to do but I'll tell you our story. My wife and I talked online for 10 months before I went to visit her the first time. While we talked online, I never cheated. I was interested in her so I talked to her instead of going out with other women.

You said your fiance filed in February so that means you've been waiting for less than 6 months. When I returned to the states and we began the visa process, we were apart just like you are now. We ended up being apart from each other for 424 days. That was a long, difficult time. And during that time I never cheated and, more importantly, I never considered cheating.

I did what most do. I talked online with her. We would talk on Skype every chance we had. Going out with other women never crossed my mind. The fiance visa is for those who are committed to each other, it's not for those who want 90 days to get to know each other.

If you accept a guy who cheats on you, then you're going to get a guy who cheats on you. A guy who is committed to you simply would not cheat. It doesn't matter if you're with him or you're on the other side of the planet, a guy who is committed to you doesn't cheat.

You have to decide what type of guy you want; a guy who cheats or a guy who is faithful.

[Tuti & Baher 10]

Thank You for all Reply, I appreciate much . Im sorry to have such bad topic here.

After read posts from all, I make my decision about . First I am thinking , I give

him chance to be faithful when Im with him, but when I read post I change my thinking

again, and now have make decision.

Im going to broke up with my Fiance, Its really hurt my feeling to do that, but I dont

want to be a woman who put up with that kind of thing. If I want to be with man who do

that then I have to share with other woman my husband. I dont want to be that kind of person.

Im really, really sad now. I think its most sad ever in my life time. I cry all night long,

and dont sleep well. I think if I marry to this person he will make me cry again, and again.

Im going to call him today and tell him , no more for us. Im dont want a man who cannot wait

to be with me, and make other woman happy when Im not here.

Im Journey is over now, Please thank you for your support, and I hope all your

Journey is better than mine, good luck to all of you ....

So sorry about your situation... You are definitely taking the right decision.. leave the selfish hog..

You seem to deserve nothing but a loyal, caring and committed man so should never settled for less. Hope you well

[Mogambi 96]

And to the person DEFENDING this yahoo, remember, he WASN'T honest until she forced it out of him, that he had been having an ONGOING affair!!!!

This is not an honest person. This is a pig. His excuse? Oh, men have to have sex.

Honestly, as pathetic a human being as I have seen.

And you DEFEND this idiot?

If he's cheating already, he will continue to cheat. He's a lier and a cheater. Seriously, don't listen to this person defending him.

He will not change.

[Tuti & Baher 10]

Okay, I'm not going to tell you what to do but I'll tell you our story. My wife and I talked online for 10 months before I went to visit her the first time. While we talked online, I never cheated. I was interested in her so I talked to her instead of going out with other women.

You said your fiance filed in February so that means you've been waiting for less than 6 months. When I returned to the states and we began the visa process, we were apart just like you are now. We ended up being apart from each other for 424 days. That was a long, difficult time. And during that time I never cheated and, more importantly, I never considered cheating.

I did what most do. I talked online with her. We would talk on Skype every chance we had. Going out with other women never crossed my mind. The fiance visa is for those who are committed to each other, it's not for those who want 90 days to get to know each other.

If you accept a guy who cheats on you, then you're going to get a guy who cheats on you. A guy who is committed to you simply would not cheat. It doesn't matter if you're with him or you're on the other side of the planet, a guy who is committed to you doesn't cheat.

You have to decide what type of guy you want; a guy who cheats or a guy who is faithful.

[G & A 70311 2]

First, sorry to hear such a sad story... I am going to make a fairly safe guess that you have family and friends there to help and support you emotionally... Now consider what happens if you come to the USA and marry this man, when he cheats again, and he most likely will, You will have put yourself in very bad spot... Just saying, don't let your emotions over rule your brain, you know what is right even tho it hurts now, later you will be much happier.

[B_J 2,752]

First, sorry to hear such a sad story... I am going to make a fairly safe guess that you have family and friends there to help and support you emotionally... Now consider what happens if you come to the USA and marry this man, when he cheats again, and he most likely will, You will have put yourself in very bad spot... Just saying, don't let your emotions over rule your brain, you know what is right even tho it hurts now, later you will be much happier.

That is an outstanding point.

Its hard to prepare for how lonely and homesick the person is going to be when they get here. I couldn't imagine adding in that the spouse isn't faithful.

[Tahoma 2,291]

I would not be so quick to make a decision to dump the guy. It happens all the time, a man goes to another country and meets a woman and spends a few days or a few weeks with her, then comes home and files for a visa. He don't really know her, he would never agree to marry someone in his own country after being with someone for that amount of time. Kind of what a fiance visa is for, to allow the two of you to be together for 90 days, then at the end of that period together get married or not get married. The visa gives you a little more time to make that decision to spent your life with this guy, or not. I've seen it happen several times, either the woman in the Phills or the foreign man keeps on dating other people. The guy could have lied to you and come up with another story, so he probably is being truthful about being faithful when you come here . Now you can chat online for years, but you don't really know a person until you spend a lot of time with them in person.

No, I'm not saying it is right, or that all foreign men, or all women in the Phills are unfaithful to the ones they are engaged too, but some are. Most will be faithful after they are married, some will not that is just the way it is.

..............-1..............

Unbelievable... If the OP was a guy he would've been called out as a troll and lectured to no end. Instead, everyone is coddling this girl who's doing no less than making tampo.

As they say,"There are two sides to every story", and we've only read one of them. It's entirely possible that the OP'a judgement was clouded by the prospect of a "better" life. How soon did she fall in love with the guy anyway? Had they ever met in person and consummated the relationship? Maybe the guy wasn't in the same place yet, but felt compelled to say the "sweet" things Filipinas seem to demand.

I hope some lessons will be learned from this experience:

1. Not only Filipino Men cheat. You should keep your heart open to ANY man who will love you, regardless of ethnicity.
   
2. Don't be so quick to give your heart to someone else. Allow the man to express his feelings when he's ready.
   
3. Putting yourself out there for the purpose of marriage and emigrating to the U.S. is risky.
   
4. Men don't like women who are needy. The quickest way to point us to another woman is to expect too much, such as twice-daily calls or e-mails.
   
5. Distance matters. Even with all the technological advances, there's no substitute for actually being together in the same place.
   
6. Sex matters. If it didn't, there wouldn't be a market for "male enhancement" drugs.
   

..............-2..............

ARE YOU %#<>ing kidding me.

..............+3..............

[rlogan 2,036]

Maybe your right about, maybe Im acting too mad or bothered about this. I thinking you have some good

point about some of what you said. Im really confuse about what to do now.

Im thinking maybe Im give in him some freedom about what hes going to do there when Im not there ?

Other post have also good advice, but always wants to end this relationship. This is the only so far

thats seems maybe gonna be good marriage after.

Wish Im gonna make a decision about and not keep going back and forth. If this post is not going to

happen then Im decision was to not marry this person, now Im thinking about if Im to do that.

Now Im just pray and hope make right choice.

Roller Coaster!

You have to trust the other person's word. Even if you are swingers, they can't lie, do things behind your back, manipulate you emotionally, etc. My wife and I are a little more liberal than the average about fooling around in principle, but not lying and deceiving, leaving the other person guessing what is going on...

Think about how you feel right now. Isn't it great anguishing over this, not eating right or sleeping? That's a pretty good idea how it's going to be married to him, except worse. Right now is your honeymoon period.

[Tahoma 2,291]

Think about how you feel right now. Isn't it great anguishing over this, not eating right or sleeping? That's a pretty good idea how it's going to be married to him, except worse.

:thumbs:

[GaryKO 49]

Maybe your right about, maybe Im acting too mad or bothered about this. I thinking you have some good

point about some of what you said. Im really confuse about what to do now.

Im thinking maybe Im give in him some freedom about what hes going to do there when Im not there ?

Other post have also good advice, but always wants to end this relationship. This is the only so far

thats seems maybe gonna be good marriage after.

Wish Im gonna make a decision about and not keep going back and forth. If this post is not going to

happen then Im decision was to not marry this person, now Im thinking about if Im to do that.

Now Im just pray and hope make right choice.

You must remember that everyone on here giving you advice had to go half way around the world to find someone willing to marry them.

[actob99 156]

You must remember that everyone on here giving you advice had to go half way around the world to find someone willing to marry them.

Haha, is that all you got? Did our feelings get hurt? Just because your future might hold a spotlight on an episode of Cheaters doesn't mean the rest of us will.