going to pursue CR-1, live with him abroad (not in his home country). how will this affect the visa process

[Boiler 44,857]

You also have to bear in mind that not everybody knows that you can only adjust through the Sponsor if you enter on a K1.

Plus you often see cases where the USC pays for the visa processing, flights etc so you get here on a freebie and then see what happens. Often such people seem to have a network they can hook into on arrival.

The more devious hang around until they have their GC.

[PMartin37 161]

You also have to bear in mind that not everybody knows that you can only adjust through the Sponsor if you enter on a K1.

Plus you often see cases where the USC pays for the visa processing, flights etc so you get here on a freebie and then see what happens. Often such people seem to have a network they can hook into on arrival.

The more devious hang around until they have their GC.

If this guy is in fact a scammer (I'm leaning hard towards probably) he certainly is a good one. My instincts tell me he probably has a network because of his "American" friend on fb. Who knows for sure.

[AmyWrites 593]

He can gain entry to the US with a K-1, marry, AOS, then leave her. Or he can just stay out of status and vanish so the OP can't report his whereabouts. Or he can remain out of status, maybe marry someone else...

Edited May 15, 2012 by AmyWrites

[PMartin37 161]

Sarah,

You seem like a very intelligent woman. I'm judging from the way that you express yourself in writing. I know that it seems alot of people are "coming down on you". The fact is that life experience really is the best teacher and many people just don't want to see you get hurt. You seem to have a good heart and there are MANY that will take advantage of it. That's the reality. I'm a skeptical person by nature and I would advise you to approach this guy with a skeptical mind. Assume that he is a scammer in your mind, and give him the opportunity to prove you WRONG. Question him ALOT. Step back about a hundred yards from your feelings. If it turns out you get in an argument ..well so be it. A woman shouldn't accept everything said to her is true, until that person's actions prove it to her.

A few years back, I was considering an expedition trip to South Africa. On the literature for team members, they STRONGLY RECOMMENDED that noone venture out from the research facilties alone, ESPECIALLY WOMEN. They didn't say why, but I read the previous posts of rape, etc. and that explains it for me.

I have some real fears about you and your mother going over there. Since, you are a religious person, I would also advise you to pray for clarity in this situation. If this guy has ill intentions towards you or your family ask God to reveal it to you. And he will.

Good luck to you! and please be careful!!

[msheesha 548]

Sarah,

Please allow your parent/s to read through this thread, and then discuss the situation with them, and/or allow them to post questions and/or enter into this discussion.

[pushbrk 12,569]

I'll say.

But she can make a report to USCIS that they didn't in fact marry and wouldn't they likely start deportation procedures? That is certainly would I would do if someone scammed me. I know you have to be very careful from reading posts on VJ that people will continue scamming in some ways to work the system to remain here and possibly get the petitioner in all kinds of trouble.

Only if she knows where he is and tells USCIS. People perpetrating such scams usually disappear into their cultural network and do just fine.

[Boiler 44,857]

And maybe not even then.

[pushbrk 12,569]

And maybe not even then.

Actually, PROBABLY not even then.

[Sarah Grace 1]

Here are a few suggestions for assisting one in determining if a relationship is sincere, prior to making a visit.

1. Can you talk on the webcam regularly and always on time.

2. When you talk on the webcam, are others (family members, friends of the foreigner, etc.) included in the conversation?

3. Is there interest in meeting the US Citizen's family on the webcam? Does this actually happen?

4. Does the foreigner completely answer detailed questions about their family, work, education and life experience?

Others have pointed out some red flags. The biggest ones to me are how the couple initially became acquainted, the lack of full explanation of status in South Africa and the ability to remain in SA for an extended time without a job. The most recent red flag is changing the goal from marriage to pursuing a K1 visa. What is the foreigner's reason for this?

We do talk on the webcam. A few times his best friend was right beside him so I talked to him too. And Mike wanted to see my family, so I used the cam to show him. He answers all my questions

Mike's reason for pursuing a K-1 instead of a CR-1 was to honor my parents' wishes to meet him before we marry. Before this, he basically followed my lead since I had done the most research about visas. But finally I asked him for his opinion and went with it

Edited May 16, 2012 by Sarah Grace

[Sarah Grace 1]

Sarah,

You seem like a very intelligent woman. I'm judging from the way that you express yourself in writing. I know that it seems alot of people are "coming down on you". The fact is that life experience really is the best teacher and many people just don't want to see you get hurt. You seem to have a good heart and there are MANY that will take advantage of it. That's the reality. I'm a skeptical person by nature and I would advise you to approach this guy with a skeptical mind. Assume that he is a scammer in your mind, and give him the opportunity to prove you WRONG. Question him ALOT. Step back about a hundred yards from your feelings. If it turns out you get in an argument ..well so be it. A woman shouldn't accept everything said to her is true, until that person's actions prove it to her.

A few years back, I was considering an expedition trip to South Africa. On the literature for team members, they STRONGLY RECOMMENDED that noone venture out from the research facilties alone, ESPECIALLY WOMEN. They didn't say why, but I read the previous posts of rape, etc. and that explains it for me.

I have some real fears about you and your mother going over there. Since, you are a religious person, I would also advise you to pray for clarity in this situation. If this guy has ill intentions towards you or your family ask God to reveal it to you. And he will.

Good luck to you! and please be careful!!

I did question him a lot, weighed his answers. I'd stare at his pictures to glean some more information from the background. I didn't let my heart make my decisions. He's posted about me on other people's or page's walls, and I was not guaranteed to see them. His friends compliment him all the time. "Is she the one? " yes "lucky guy ".

[Darnell 8,478]

[thank you mods, for moving this topic out of the CR-1 forum]

[pushbrk 12,569]

We do talk on the webcam. A few times his best friend was right beside him so I talked to him too. And Mike wanted to see my family, so I used the cam to show him. He answers all my questions

Mike's reason for pursuing a K-1 instead of a CR-1 was to honor my parents' wishes to meet him before we marry. Before this, he basically followed my lead since I had done the most research about visas. But finally I asked him for his opinion and went with it

The problem is that your chances of success with a K1 visa out of Lagos are far less than with a spouse visa after having spent significant time living together as husband and wife. The trouble with international "dating" and marriage is that we often find we simply don't get to have things the way we see them as ideal. If your parents want to meet your future husband in person before you marry, they'll be wise to plan a trip to Africa. Short of that, they will probably ultimately decide to scrap that priority.

Edited May 16, 2012 by pushbrk

[Boiler 44,857]

I just find it weird that you would be having such conversations with someone you have never met.

Add in the Nigerian aspect and well.....

[AmyWrites 593]

I did question him a lot, weighed his answers. I'd stare at his pictures to glean some more information from the background. I didn't let my heart make my decisions. He's posted about me on other people's or page's walls, and I was not guaranteed to see them. His friends compliment him all the time. "Is she the one? " yes "lucky guy ".

The thing is that, even with one visit, your chances of getting a K1 approved, especially considering how you met, are very low. If you really think this guy has feelings for you, tell him you have to (because you haven't met yet and you should ideally see each other more than twice for Lagos) wait until you have more evidence and a longer relationship.

And when he pulls a vanishing act on you because of that, then you'll see what everyone here has been trying to warn you about.

Edited May 16, 2012 by AmyWrites

[AmyWrites 593]

I just find it weird that you would be having such conversations with someone you have never met.

I made a mistake with a guy I met online and filed a I-129F for him (thankfully broke up soon after the NOA2); he wasn't scamming me but I was sure I was "in love" with this guy I spent with in totality of our relationship no more than two months. I was also 20. Granted it wasn't from a high fraud consulate, but I'm saying, being young makes you not see things how you should. I was also talking about marrying this guy before I ever met him. Quite ashamed of it now that I look back.

Edited May 16, 2012 by AmyWrites