Does a child really weigh a lot in ROC?

[midge and isi 8]

I have seen a lot of responses while preparing for ROC (next April...) that having a child is the best proof you can provide for your marriage. What are your thoughts?

We are not in a situation to have a child at this point, we are both in our mid-20s! So there is still time. We are both in school. So we don't feel that having a child is right at this moment.

What are other's experiences with ROC with or without proof of a child.....

Thanks!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

By itself, it doesn't prove much. Having a child together does add to the total package.

[Noth 4]

obviously having a child together is a proof of relationship (you wouldn't have a kid with someone you're faking to be with, right?) but it's not all of it! We all have our personal histories, but if your relationship is genuine you always have other proof that shows it, either financially (joint ownership and responsibilities) and personal (Trips together, pictures, testimonies, etc...).

If having a child was the only valid proof, then how infertile couples would adjust their status? how would students that barely can make both ends meet?

we all have different story and circumstances so don't worry too much, as long as you are truthful there is no problem

Nath

[Vanessa&Dago 12]

It seems like your mind and your heart are in the right place. A child brings along with it a lot of responsabilities and added expenses. Nobody should have a child to aid them in whatever venue they find themselves in at the moment.

Gather as much additional proof as you deem nescesary and when you both feel you're ready, may you have the most beautiful and wonderful child god has put on the face of this earth.

Good luck

[cathy2904 97]

Go with your instinct - it would be a terrible reason to have a child.

[midge and isi 8]

We would never just have a child for ROC. I was just wondering what people's experiences have been with or without. We have so many other forms of evidence I am not too concerned- just was interesting to me that many say The Most Important Evidence is a child....

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I checked "No other documents show more"

Why? Because a child proves someone had sex with someone else, or maybe even not. Does a child from your previous marriage show a relationship (current) with your ex-husband or wife? What relationship does a step child provide proof of?

On the other hand, such as in our case where we have no children together, the children DO provide evidence because of other documentation. If you were faking a marriage would you allow your phoney husband to make decisions about your child's future, his education, his medical needs?

Children can be a source of very strong documentation, but the children themselves by existance prove nothing.

We made certain that ALL documents involving the children included BOTH our names, even correspondence, emails, newsletters, I explained to the school that this was important for Pasha. I signed every document that came from the schools asking for "parent signature" and made a copy of every one. Field trips, sports waivers, report cards which needed signature. I went to every PT conference and was the main contact for any of the teachers regarding Pasha, I was the contact person for ALL his medical care, I signed all the medical papers, I am listed as the emergency contact along with my wife. There was no question by anyone dealing with this family that I was "the Dad"

We provided this with our petition. I did not provide any photos or affidavits. The information we had from the children PLUS financial information was pretty overwhelming and they sent the new green cards without an interview.

Children CAN be a good thing IF both people are conduycting themselves as parents and documenting it. Otherwise no.

It should also not be implied by anyone that you NEED a child to successfully remove conditions. You do not.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

The people doing the "lot of responses" are idiots. The child proves the mother had sex, that is all. It doesn't prove the relationship is legit.

People have kids due to one-night stands, or taking birth control wrong, or broken condoms and what not. None of these are planned and don't meant the relationship is a loving one, it just means two people had sex.

People also have children to try and fix broken relationships. People HAVE been known to have children because they think it makes their relationship look more legit.

So no, having a child is simply one piece of information in a much larger requirement. If someone was to just submit a birth cert and nothing else, they would get RFE'd for sure.

[midge and isi 8]

I checked "No other documents show more"

Why? Because a child proves someone had sex with someone else, or maybe even not. Does a child from your previous marriage show a relationship (current) with your ex-husband or wife? What relationship does a step child provide proof of?

On the other hand, such as in our case where we have no children together, the children DO provide evidence because of other documentation. If you were faking a marriage would you allow your phoney husband to make decisions about your child's future, his education, his medical needs?

Children can be a source of very strong documentation, but the children themselves by existance prove nothing.

We made certain that ALL documents involving the children included BOTH our names, even correspondence, emails, newsletters, I explained to the school that this was important for Pasha. I signed every document that came from the schools asking for "parent signature" and made a copy of every one. Field trips, sports waivers, report cards which needed signature. I went to every PT conference and was the main contact for any of the teachers regarding Pasha, I was the contact person for ALL his medical care, I signed all the medical papers, I am listed as the emergency contact along with my wife. There was no question by anyone dealing with this family that I was "the Dad"

We provided this with our petition. I did not provide any photos or affidavits. The information we had from the children PLUS financial information was pretty overwhelming and they sent the new green cards without an interview.

Children CAN be a good thing IF both people are conduycting themselves as parents and documenting it. Otherwise no.

It should also not be implied by anyone that you NEED a child to successfully remove conditions. You do not.

Thanks Gary and Alla-- that is what i was thinking- but I had seen it in so many responses and wondered. I just know by ROC we are not ready

In today's world children do not mean a relationship at all...

The people doing the "lot of responses" are idiots. The child proves the mother had sex, that is all. It doesn't prove the relationship is legit.

People have kids due to one-night stands, or taking birth control wrong, or broken condoms and what not. None of these are planned and don't meant the relationship is a loving one, it just means two people had sex.

People also have children to try and fix broken relationships. People HAVE been known to have children because they think it makes their relationship look more legit.

So no, having a child is simply one piece of information in a much larger requirement. If someone was to just submit a birth cert and nothing else, they would get RFE'd for sure.

The people doing the "lot of responses" are idiots. The child proves the mother had sex, that is all. It doesn't prove the relationship is legit. so true....

[bigdog 376]

Gather your best proof and file as per the guides, don't listen to negative people.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Gather your best proof and file as per the guides, don't listen to negative people.

Good advice but I will note, there are no negative people in this thread that I have read. It was a good topic to discuss.

[midge and isi 8]

Gather your best proof and file as per the guides, don't listen to negative people.

I would agree with not negative, but just trying to understand where their proof that Children are everything comes from.... if they were speaking from their own experience because they didn't have a child and that caused issues...

So if there is anyone out there who can tell me they had a negative experience with ROC because they didn't have child(ren) but provided every other possible proof --

Thanks!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I would agree with not negative, but just trying to understand where their proof that Children are everything comes from.... if they were speaking from their own experience because they didn't have a child and that caused issues...

So if there is anyone out there who can tell me they had a negative experience with ROC because they didn't have child(ren) but provided every other possible proof --

Thanks!

People say things that are at best, uninformed, or too broad. I just read tonight in one of the "Filers threads" that you MUST HAVE two affidavits from friend or family. Really? I did not have any, OR any photos.

the BEST evidence is that which is generated by professional 3rd parties. Banks, insurance companies, investment accounts...AND things like medical and school records. You cannot make this stuff up, well at least it is very difficult.

Virtually anything CAN or CANNOT be good evidence. Nothing but affidavits? You got a problem, let me assure you. A joint bank account with $375 in annual deposits? Problem. A joint account that all your pay is direct deposited into...GOOD. Children born to the marriage but no evidence you are BOTH involved with raising them, problem. as Vanessa mentions, if ALL you have is a birth certificate you have problems

Each facet of life provides opportunities to generate evidence. Have a homeowners association? Make sure they address the newsletter to BOTH of you. Is it important to have a homeowners association membership? NO. But if you do, why not use it? Alla volunteered for a school board committee, she is listed on that as a member for the community we live in. Is that what someone in a phoney marriage does? We included minutes of the meeting showing her as a member (it is NOT elected office and citizenship is not required)So I am signing all the papers coming from the school for Pasha and she is working on the committee to takje surveys to improve the education in our sons school. Sounds like PARENTS doing PARENT things for the child.

We do not have ANY joint utilities, but we have a few in each of our names and all come to this address. We sent copies of those.

I do not know anyone that was denied ROC for lack of children. I know many people that were approved without children.