Transition Issues

[Pooky 3,680]

The wife really doesn't like Texas, and she's from the West Coast.

Me? I'm with your other half on the Sainsbury's deal.

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

The wife really doesn't like Texas, and she's from the West Coast.

Me? I'm with your other half on the Sainsbury's deal.

Well who could like TX after living on the West Coast??? Lovely from parts I've seen. But pretty expensive housing too. I think I just don't know any better, or can't afford better, so am happy where I was planted and glad hubby is a happy transplant. It's not an easy thing to do. I seriously couldn't do it---move to England. Just couldn't. I applaud the ones who move. ::giving a standing ovation right now::

Yay Sainsbury's. Anybody coming to visit us from the UK is required to bring a 480 count bag of Sainsbury's red label tea bags. We need some more visitors. The October supply is long gone.

[Shawn&Jodie 14]

Since you peeps mentioned TX, anyone know what the best buy at HEB for beans....... I know Jodie is thinking she will never get beans and toast. She is happy they sell Tetley tea there.

How can ya not like the TX scene, all her friends seem to think we say "Howdy" and there is nothing like a good catus. Then again her friends are all jealous we get to go to ACL and SXSW and the upcoming F1 track.....

We are going to be an Austin crew....

[Darnell 8,478]

well, you entered the USA on 2012-02-24 .

Please tell us why you not get into the SSA office and apply for SSN circa the 8th of March, 2012? What happened with that?

You can still get in to apply, you have about 10 days left before your time window stops (2 weeks prior to I-94 expiration, you cannot apply for SSN anymore. Yer next moment is after EAD or Green card in hand)

Having a SSN allows you to participate in this country, with silly things like banking and getting a debit card.

Edited May 6, 2012 by Darnell

[Darnell 8,478]

ah - since he's working on his doctorate, you should go with him to Uni each day.

Why is that important? Well, some of the profs are Brits and already know the town - they'll shuffle you under their wing and help you adjust. It'll be easy to find them - at least at tea time - they're the only ones stuffing their faces

Edited May 6, 2012 by Darnell

[Darnell 8,478]

What is it with Texas?

My boss is a Scot, lives in Dallas and can't abide living anywhere other than the Big Hat State. Whenever we ask him why, it's because we're tired of listening to him, as he can't explain it and goes kinda quiet

Dallas Rocks.

[kimmie 2]

Hi Kimmie--

Here's a couple of things from the USC wife.

Thank you so much for that! I already have the guilt thing starting and he's not even here yet LOL! I know I need to get rid of that and remember that we BOTH made sacrifices for him to be here. And I love the idea of the asking him for money once in a while - that's a great way to make him feel needed.

Fortunately we both know that even though we will finally get to be together every day, that doesn't mean that all our challenges will magically disappear - some may, but they'll be replaced by others. But I look forward to it!

CONGRATS on the citizenship! It must feel so nice to be at the end of the journey! :-)

[Vicky and Larry 27]

I dunno. We think we're cool because we were a country before deciding to join the US ???? I've always lived here so don't know any better, but never as far north as Dallas. In the Houston/Galveston (Gulf Coast) area it's hot, humid, flat, and has bugs and snakes. Despite what people think, we have thick grassy gardens and tall trees and not a cactus to be found.

If you ask the British husband what he likes, he has said before--

• wide open spaces and wide roads
• Mexican food (Tex-Mex), Bar-B-Q, jalapenos, habanera peppers
• massive free parking lots for all the businesses
• 2 and 3 car garages, big houses for much, much less than UK.
• friendly people that chat to strangers or wave when they drive by your house or just stop and say your garden looks pretty
• Friendly clerks in stores that actually help and say thank you for shopping with us and sound like they actually mean it
• The Starbucks "kids" who remember us and what we order after 1-2 visits and chat with us instead of glaring
• Motorists that stop and let you pull in to the line of traffic in front of them.
• The classless society. No pompous arses about. He commented that I'm on first name basis with some very wealthy or influential persons and I'm just as polite, friendly, and respectful of our Mexican gardener who speaks little English or the waitress in Denny's. All are equally welcome to come in our front door. He notices that with other people in general.

Can't speak for other areas, that's just things he's commented on about our neck of the woods. I asked him what he missed about England and all he could think of was Sainsbury's ready meals.

They are some of the things that I also love about being here. People are way more courteous and polite and super friendly. I agree with the Sainsbury's comment too! The things that I miss are just the cultural norms and customs that give you that sense of belonging. I know I will soon feel that way about being here too, but that is the hardest part for me.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

ah - since he's working on his doctorate, you should go with him to Uni each day.

Why is that important? Well, some of the profs are Brits and already know the town - they'll shuffle you under their wing and help you adjust. It'll be easy to find them - at least at tea time - they're the only ones stuffing their faces

Ha, ha, He invited me to go with him the other evening :-) He only attends once a week for his doctorate as he works full-time as an English teacher.

[Darkmoonfaerie 19]

Nich-Nick,

I really believe that Alan's transition will be smooth too. He's been saying for the last year that England feels wrong to him and this is home. He's made friends with my friends and their significant others, drove all over New England with nothing more than a map or GPS when I was at work, loves the food here and thinks the people are great. I am in private practice so he could come help at my office on a volunteer basis (I desperately need the help but can't afford to hire staff just yet) or get involved in scouting here like he is in the UK. We will be headed back every few months so the boys can see their mum and our family members plan to travel back and forth fairly regularly as well. Oh and there's lots of shops within an hour or so that carry all kinds of British stuff. Hopefully I'm not wrong about all this

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I really believe that Alan's transition will be smooth too. He's been saying for the last year that England feels wrong to him and this is home. He's made friends with my friends and their significant others, drove all over New England with nothing more than a map or GPS when I was at work, loves the food here and thinks the people are great. I am in private practice so he could come help at my office on a volunteer basis (I desperately need the help but can't afford to hire staff just yet) or get involved in scouting here like he is in the UK. We will be headed back every few months so the boys can see their mum and our family members plan to travel back and forth fairly regularly as well. Oh and there's lots of shops within an hour or so that carry all kinds of British stuff. Hopefully I'm not wrong about all this

I felt I should note that unless he has a work permit (or GC) he is not allowed to volunteer for you. He is not allowed to volunteer if he is taking the place of a paid worker (which you admit he would be if you could afford it). He is not allowed to volunteer in a position where he would eventually get paid. Hopefully he has his EAD already (or GC) and this is a moot point but for anyone else reading it could be beneficial.

Edited May 6, 2012 by Vanessa&Tony

[Darkmoonfaerie 19]

I felt I should note that unless he has a work permit (or GC) he is not allowed to volunteer for you. He is not allowed to volunteer if he is taking the place of a paid worker (which you admit he would be if you could afford it). He is not allowed to volunteer in a position where he would eventually get paid. Hopefully he has his EAD already (or GC) and this is a moot point but for anyone else reading it could be beneficial.

Aah good to know. He's not here yet so it's not an issue. I'll point him in the direction of some other volunteering and scouts. Thanks for the heads up. Just used to having family help out around the office so figured he could hang out and file some stuff.

[Elora & Rob 15]

Hi Kimmie--

Here's a couple of things from the USC wife. I admit we had very little problems compared to most of you. (He had a UK license and already had plenty of US driving experience. I bought him a car. I didn't have to be gone to work all day. So pretty easy peasy.) BUT at first I worried so much when he acted a little out of sorts or moody. He never said why. He said he didn't know. Are you homesick? No. Do you hate the food here? No. Did you quit liking me? No. Like Laura said above, I just wanted to make him happy and felt so responsible for that. So then I was moody because I was failing. Eventually I got exasperated and said-- You know what? You can choose to be happy or unhappy, because it's not actually my responsibility to jump through myself guessing what I can do for you. Tell me what you need or just carry on in your mood. I felt so much better when I let go of that guilt I felt. So then he finally figured it out and said he was very happy to be here, but sometimes he had that "fish out of water" feeling just not knowing the ropes yet. At home I would know to go to Currys for this and Wickes for that. I don't know about your MOT and tax disks. I don't how things work here yet. Oh geez! I never would have thought of that.

As far as spending money. I don't think he would ever have asked for any. I would come home with a wad of cash from the ATM and lay it on the bar saying "I got us some cash" and leave it there. Sometimes I'd say, I'm out of cash, do you have a twenty I can have? Then it was like he was handing out to me. Hahaha.

Happy to say he got over his adjustment rather quickly. He refers to the USA as home and says "back in England" if he's telling a UK story. He accepts life here--the good and the bad-- and isn't trying to re-create England in Texas. I am so lucky because some don't adapt so well. And I'm proud of him for being so adaptive, even as an old guy.

And he's going to be a USC in 11 days!!! Wow. The crazy journey that started in March 2008 finally ends. There's hope folks. Just hang in there.

sounds like you have it down. i think its only natural to have the feelings Vicky has but i think it can be avoided by planning ahead.

i am going to have enough money saved up to live of for a year when I move. I will just transfer it into my fiances account before I leave and she can give me a copy of her debit card to get cash.

i understand that i can drive with a foreign license so not a problem.

will sort out some voluntary work with the church we will attend prior to moving.

we will be moving into a new place together. i think this will help as its both of us adapting to something new at the same time. i can keep myself busy getting furniture, decorating etc.

i am going to find a soccer team to join. i have already spoken to the manager of an indoor league.

all these things should help make the process allot smoother but we are both aware there will be times when we get down.

Well who could like TX after living on the West Coast??? Lovely from parts I've seen. But pretty expensive housing too. I think I just don't know any better, or can't afford better, so am happy where I was planted and glad hubby is a happy transplant. It's not an easy thing to do. I seriously couldn't do it---move to England. Just couldn't. I applaud the ones who move. ::giving a standing ovation right now::

Yay Sainsbury's. Anybody coming to visit us from the UK is required to bring a 480 count bag of Sainsbury's red label tea bags. We need some more visitors. The October supply is long gone.

you will be able to get all this on the web.

[Elora & Rob 15]

Nich-Nick,

I really believe that Alan's transition will be smooth too. He's been saying for the last year that England feels wrong to him and this is home. He's made friends with my friends and their significant others, drove all over New England with nothing more than a map or GPS when I was at work, loves the food here and thinks the people are great. I am in private practice so he could come help at my office on a volunteer basis (I desperately need the help but can't afford to hire staff just yet) or get involved in scouting here like he is in the UK. We will be headed back every few months so the boys can see their mum and our family members plan to travel back and forth fairly regularly as well. Oh and there's lots of shops within an hour or so that carry all kinds of British stuff. Hopefully I'm not wrong about all this

exactly how i am feeling. kind of in limbo. vegas is not quite home yet but london doesn't feel like home anymore.

i think its all about being prepared. if you no your going to be moving to another country start saving money as your going to need it to contribute. my savings will equal what my fiance earns in one year. and i can drive.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

well, you entered the USA on 2012-02-24 .

Please tell us why you not get into the SSA office and apply for SSN circa the 8th of March, 2012? What happened with that?

You can still get in to apply, you have about 10 days left before your time window stops (2 weeks prior to I-94 expiration, you cannot apply for SSN anymore. Yer next moment is after EAD or Green card in hand)

Having a SSN allows you to participate in this country, with silly things like banking and getting a debit card.

This time around was the second time that I applied -- I went to another office as the first one took a month to send me a letter stating I was not eligible for a SSN on a K2 visa, ha, ha. They don't know their K1's from their K2's. We got married on March 7th and went away for 3 days. I had to wait for my husband to be able to get time off work to take me. Anyway, it all worked out in the end.