My Philippina's Driving Lessons.

[AlohaBabes 5]

Better practice driving while your still in the philippines.. If you can now drive here then theres no way you cant drive there.. The road and traffic in the phillippines are way crazier!! LOL

If you will teach your wife, you should also relax and be calm.. If you are also panic and shout at her then she is way more nervous and panic than you.. Just trust her and she will eventually learn.. :-)

God Bless!!!:dance:

[Matt & Bing 56]

Slow Down.

SLOW DOWN!

SLOW DOWN!!!

SLOW DOWN!!!!

PUT YOUR FOOT ON THE BRAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My wife was the opposite ... I had to tell her to speed up all the time. I feel sorry for those who are stuck behind her.

I spent $500 on driving lessons for her. Well worth it - I got way too frustrated trying to teach her myself.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I have been trying to teach the wife for about five years now. We even tried a couple different driving schools. After plowing into another car last year, the wife's next car will have a brake in the passenger side when I finally get the nerve to try it again. I can relate to what the OP is going through. My wife just freezes in panic situations, or worse, forgets which pedal is the brake.

[Caryh 5,206]

My wife was the opposite ... I had to tell her to speed up all the time. I feel sorry for those who are stuck behind her.

I spent $500 on driving lessons for her. Well worth it - I got way too frustrated trying to teach her myself.

That is my wife on the freeway! I kept telling her to speed up and she kept going for the brake pedal. I tried explaining that you rarely need the brake on the freeway, but every lane change and every car going by her and she's pushing on the brake pedal. She drove in the Philippines, but it was always on low speed city roads. She's gotten pretty good on regular roads, but I'm nervous about getting her back on the freeway and don't want my reactions to freak her out and scare her from freeway driving. So this Saturday she has her first behind the wheel driving class. I'm going to tell them to focus on freeway driving, parallel parking, and review the things she needs to pass the test. I'm pretty sure they'll see she's competent on all driving except the freeway and parallel parking.

[adiiann 163]

That is my wife on the freeway! I kept telling her to speed up and she kept going for the brake pedal. I tried explaining that you rarely need the brake on the freeway, but every lane change and every car going by her and she's pushing on the brake pedal. She drove in the Philippines, but it was always on low speed city roads. She's gotten pretty good on regular roads, but I'm nervous about getting her back on the freeway and don't want my reactions to freak her out and scare her from freeway driving. So this Saturday she has her first behind the wheel driving class. I'm going to tell them to focus on freeway driving, parallel parking, and review the things she needs to pass the test. I'm pretty sure they'll see she's competent on all driving except the freeway and parallel parking.

From my experience, hope this helps her. When driving in freeway, tell her to have so much distance from the car in front of her, that way she doesn't have to step on brake, instead, just off the gas pedal to slow down. She can use cruise control in freeway, that way doesn't have to keep controlling the speed.

[rlogan 2,036]

Have her drive in the back roads where its not a heavy traffic, still have stoplights and stop signs but less cars. Thats where I practiced when I tried to learn how to drive. Then, I chose middle of weekday to drive in the highway when it was less traffic, just on/off the same ramp until I learn to merge better in the highway.

Yeah, agreed. We did not plan well coming in to town when all the church people were letting out.

It comes down to communication. She's had ideas she invented in her head that baffled me. For example, to make the car go straight she would align the steering wheel straight (wrong). I would say go straight go straight! go straight, pointing my arm straight, and she's fixated on the steering wheel, heading hard right.

When backing up, her logic was it must be the opposite of what you do going forward, which is wrong. So I would see her ignore my instruction, go through this thought process, do the wrong thing every time, watch her get increasingly panicked from starting with the wrong move - Gah! Show me your left hand. Your LEFT hand. No, your LEFT hand.

AlohaBabes - this is one time when a man is in his right to raise his voice to his wife. You are absolutely right the man needs to be really calm and nurturing when she is following instructions. But if she disobeys a "stop" command four times and your life is in jeapordy no - you have to do what it takes to stay alive.

We try to make the agreement every time before we go that she will swallow her pride and be a team player. The biggest danger is copping the attitude of "he's telling me what to do..." I'm glad she agrees on that. A wife doesn't cop that attitude with a paid instructor.

[Caryh 5,206]

We try to make the agreement every time before we go that she will swallow her pride and be a team player. The biggest danger is copping the attitude of "he's telling me what to do..." I'm glad she agrees on that. A wife doesn't cop that attitude with a paid instructor.

That is exactly why I'm getting a paid instructor at this point. I've given what instruction I can on the differences in driving between the Philippines and here. Also I have a big SUV, which is way to big for her, her heal doesn't even touch the floor with her foot on the gas. I'm surprised she's done as well as she has on suburban roads under such conditions. I can't imagine her passing the driving test in it. The driving school has Honda Civics, a car sized much better for her. And they'll take her to the driving test in the same vehicle she'll learn parallel parking in. If I had a smaller car to teach her in I'd probably be tempted to do it, but considering a spouse will also learn better from a possessional instructor, it was an easy choice for me.

[adiiann 163]

That is exactly why I'm getting a paid instructor at this point. I've given what instruction I can on the differences in driving between the Philippines and here. Also I have a big SUV, which is way to big for her, her heal doesn't even touch the floor with her foot on the gas. I'm surprised she's done as well as she has on suburban roads under such conditions. I can't imagine her passing the driving test in it. The driving school has Honda Civics, a car sized much better for her. And they'll take her to the driving test in the same vehicle she'll learn parallel parking in. If I had a smaller car to teach her in I'd probably be tempted to do it, but considering a spouse will also learn better from a possessional instructor, it was an easy choice for me.

My husband taught me to drive with the help of his friends. I learnt during winter season and have to be very attentive because road ia freakin' slippery and yes, have to follow my husband's instruction even though sometimes it drove me nuts. I failed in my first attempt of my driving test because my husband forgot to teach me how to park downhill, we concentrated in parallel parking but they never asked me to do parallel parking.

For my experience, better to learn in sedan type of car than SUV. Hehehe, seems SUV made for taller people. I have to put pillow on my back whenever I drove our SUV because I can't to lower the seat any further to reach the pedal. And also I always feel its too big for the road and I have to be cautious driving it, not to drive on lines. Or maybe its just me, got used to coupe, smaller car.

[rlogan 2,036]

You guys are bang-on about the smaller car. Civic - wow, that would be perfect. I see three sources of wisdom in the paid lesson approach. The first is that you are paying to avoid confrontation in the relationship. Secondly, a professional instructor has the experience. Third, he has a brake. All three close calls we had were from her being stubborn about slowing down. If I had a brake then she would be more cooperative because I could enforce commands.

We're way too far out in the boonies with children we can't leave, so we're locked in to doing it ourselves.

This is a situation where two affectations of some Filipinas are dangerous. The first is the habit of pretending to agree when they aren't listening at all. She gets away with ignoring a lot of what I say, but this is a time when she has to pay careful attention. Repeating commands back to me made a big difference there. The second is throwing out a random answer, and looking at your facial reaction to see if they got it right. Because that is how you get the "right" answer - by seeing what makes your husband happy. Not that you need to be able to think it through yourself the next time. But this is a thing you do in love relationships, not work.

I can see how my wife's programming is largely "husband is happy with me" vs. "husband is angry at me". If she is wrong, and it is inevitable, she instantly goes into defense mechanisms because her emotions have taken over. This is the worst kind of student: combative and stubborn. Do it wrong and then quit, going off in a huff. Would your wife ever do that to a driving instructor? He's nobody to her so there's none of that relationship ego/pride involved.

I might pay one to do a mock exam to see what areas she has to work on. $70 an hour.

Edited May 5, 2012 by Kathryn41
two words added to change implied sterotyping

[Caryh 5,206]

My husband taught me to drive with the help of his friends. I learnt during winter season and have to be very attentive because road ia freakin' slippery and yes, have to follow my husband's instruction even though sometimes it drove me nuts. I failed in my first attempt of my driving test because my husband forgot to teach me how to park downhill, we concentrated in parallel parking but they never asked me to do parallel parking.

For my experience, better to learn in sedan type of car than SUV. Hehehe, seems SUV made for taller people. I have to put pillow on my back whenever I drove our SUV because I can't to lower the seat any further to reach the pedal. And also I always feel its too big for the road and I have to be cautious driving it, not to drive on lines. Or maybe its just me, got used to coupe, smaller car.

My wife needs a pillow to get her feet on the floor to lol. She has learned to handle our SUV though, which is a big accomplishment in my view. But it will still be a lot easier for her to drive something smaller for the test. We're probably going to buy her a Ford Focus for her first car here. Thanks for the pointer on the downhill parking. There's uphill parking to that they may bring up. But I'm expecting the instructor to be up on those details. She brought up last night concentrating on what she needs to get through the test. That will probably leave me to do the freeway training though. Its not my favorite option, but I understand her point. Saturday is her first driving school day, I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes for her.

[adiiann 163]

My wife needs a pillow to get her feet on the floor to lol. She has learned to handle our SUV though, which is a big accomplishment in my view. But it will still be a lot easier for her to drive something smaller for the test. We're probably going to buy her a Ford Focus for her first car here. Thanks for the pointer on the downhill parking. There's uphill parking to that they may bring up. But I'm expecting the instructor to be up on those details. She brought up last night concentrating on what she needs to get through the test. That will probably leave me to do the freeway training though. Its not my favorite option, but I understand her point. Saturday is her first driving school day, I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes for her.

Good Luck! Tell her try not to get too nervous in the freeway. She will do fine. One more pointers, by the way, tell her that never forget to turn signals when turning and who have right of way in a 4-way street when she's having her driving test because sometimes when too nervous, you intend to forget. Hope to hear she have her driver's license soon. Ford focus is a good starting car, I like it, I wish I checked it before we bought mine, oh well.

[AlohaBabes 5]

Yeah, agreed. We did not plan well coming in to town when all the church people were letting out.

It comes down to communication. She's had ideas she invented in her head that baffled me. For example, to make the car go straight she would align the steering wheel straight (wrong). I would say go straight go straight! go straight, pointing my arm straight, and she's fixated on the steering wheel, heading hard right.

When backing up, her logic was it must be the opposite of what you do going forward, which is wrong. So I would see her ignore my instruction, go through this thought process, do the wrong thing every time, watch her get increasingly panicked from starting with the wrong move - Gah! Show me your left hand. Your LEFT hand. No, your LEFT hand.

AlohaBabes - this is one time when a man is in his right to raise his voice to his wife. You are absolutely right the man needs to be really calm and nurturing when she is following instructions. But if she disobeys a "stop" command four times and your life is in jeapordy no - you have to do what it takes to stay alive.

We try to make the agreement every time before we go that she will swallow her pride and be a team player. The biggest danger is copping the attitude of "he's telling me what to do..." I'm glad she agrees on that. A wife doesn't cop that attitude with a paid instructor.

I just learned how to drive too. And from what you say about your wife, its like she is confused on what to do while driving.. lol.. she is funny.. hehehe.. But i understand why she do that.. maybe her nervousness is too high that she cant cope up with it.. She got so panic!!! I my self feel nervous too, but just minimal.. I can control it. there is little fear but what I do is just enjoy driving.. I also understand you why you get angry or shout coz I my self is so noisy and got angry when driving.. lol.. like i said, the road in the Philippines is crazier.. Lot of crazy drivers, crazy pedestrians.. and so on.. lol.. Im not saying everyone are crazy.. lol

But I hope after arguing while driving, you will go home and leave arguments in the car and be home peacefully.. :-) Cheers!! God Bless :-D

Good Luck! Tell her try not to get too nervous in the freeway. She will do fine. One more pointers, by the way, tell her that never forget to turn signals when turning and who have right of way in a 4-way street when she's having her driving test because sometimes when too nervous, you intend to forget. Hope to hear she have her driver's license soon. Ford focus is a good starting car, I like it, I wish I checked it before we bought mine, oh well.

Nervousness or Fear is a big thing that can stop you to do what you like or need to do.. So as much as possible try to control your nervousness. Believe in yourself that you can do it!! YOu have the control over yourself. You are the master of your ship i mean CAR.. lol.. You can do it!! Good luck!!

[gretchen_darren 67]

I thought this was driving in the philippines.... we still haven't tackled this one..... but glad we have a monte carlo to teach her in.... we talked about the camaro and she doesn't want to learn stick shift (or manual)....NO SUV, or custom van... just a standard town and country van is all she wants.... something like in the Philippines. My girl likes it simple... the more extravagant it is, the less she likes it.... at least that is what she tells me.... but then again she LOVES the coach purse I bought her....

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Perhaps this is what your wife does....my wife does not. Please do not assume my wife behaves like yours.

Are you sure your wife is Pinay?

There is some truth, and some hyperbole, in both posts.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

NM...

Edited May 5, 2012 by ~happyndinlove~