RUB - FSU children compared to USC children & others

[slim 1,514]

I've never read anything here which is so bold as to claim one sex absolutely superior to the other. Sure I read a lot of 'these' women are better than 'those' women...and quite a lot of chest beating statements, but I don't think anyone has ever been so bold to proclaim one superior and tell why (s)he thinks that. Maybe I missed it *shrug*.

Maybe you're the one that made it up.

You asked if I thought they were equal. I said no. I make no claims of superiority or which one is better. I just acknowledge the fact that they're not equal.

[Fandango 1,439]

Maybe you're the one that made it up.

You asked if I thought they were equal. I said no. I make no claims of superiority or which one is better. I just acknowledge the fact that they're not equal.

If two things are not equal, one is greater than the other. I've been teaching that to my 19 month old for about a month now.

[slim 1,514]

If two things are not equal, one is greater than the other. I've been teaching that to my 19 month old for about a month now.

What's your point?

[james&olya 1,121]

Children are children...I've raised British ones, now I'm raising an American one. Guess what? They're all kids. All this need to compare and contrast really is quite silly. Sure, there are cultural differences...but the concepts of bonding with a child are not necessarily country specific...you show them love, you show them who's boss, and you teach them about life. Those things are universal.

I would have to agree with you here! But I think (I am not certain) that the OP was really trying to get at the differences in parental attitudes towards child rearing practices that one tends to encounter that are culturally based. These are very real and can be the basis for a great deal of friction within a blended family! I would guess that British attitudes are closer to American than are FSU. I must say, though, that based on my experience of the last year, my new FSU wife and I seem to be virtually 'on the same page' on this, much more so than I experienced with my prior marriages. (No Gary, we don't use a stun gun! ) So again we see that while cultural differences do exist, those generalities become relatively meaningless when you have two specific individuals tying the knot!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Children are children...I've raised British ones, now I'm raising an American one. Guess what? They're all kids. All this need to compare and contrast really is quite silly. Sure, there are cultural differences...but the concepts of bonding with a child are not necessarily country specific...you show them love, you show them who's boss, and you teach them about life. Those things are universal.

Coincidentally, if you're going to take me to task for bringing this 'off topic'...how about realizing I'm only responding to something written already in the thread?

I think you're confusing 'exact' with 'equal'.

I am not confusing any terms. Equal means "same". You have said all kids are the same. Equal. Children are children. Nothing to compare and contrast?

Did the British kids speak Russian? Were you raising them in an English speaking society?

Do you think that would be the same? Equal? Equal means "same".

So what else regarding non-English speaking children do you have to offer? How did the children you raised handle their ESL instruction? Was it further difficult because the ESL teacher spoke only Spanish and your kids spoke Russian? How did you handle the fact that texts were not available in their native language at all? What did you do so that they could even understand what they had done in class that day? How did you get your children to socialize with others that they could not understand? How did you handle the language differences at home? Did you let your British children speak their native language at home? Did YOU speak their native language to them? What about movies and books, could they read books and watch movies in their native language? How did you teach them to drive? In what language did you teach your British children about life? Did YOU leanr to speak their native language? Oh yeah...of course you did.

Anything for us? Or is there no particular reason for a RUB subforum because we are all the same? No differences to discuss at all? Because we are all equal?

How about realizing that there has been a lot of things discussed in this thread and trying to stay on the topic of the thread for the benefit of the OP

Please try to stay on topic, it seems ONLY people without any experience to discuss on topic want to disrupt our forum. Is there not somewhere else more appropriate?

[james&olya 1,121]

If two things are not equal, one is greater than the other. I've been teaching that to my 19 month old for about a month now.

My wife and I are equal in some ways but unequal in most. We bring equal decision-making authority when it comes to the big things in life. I know much more about building and fixing things, she knows much more about cooking, cleaning, decorating, sewing, etc. She is way better looking than I am but I am taller and stronger! I could go on and sicken or bore everyone but I think you get the point. Being unequal may just mean being different!

You see, it really is almost meaningless to say we are equal (or not) without specifying in what specific area of measurement you refer to! It seems simple and trite, but in this sound-bite era of political discourse there is so much misunderstanding leading to polarization because people don't really define what it is they are talking about!

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

I would have to agree with you here! But I think (I am not certain) that the OP was really trying to get at the differences in parental attitudes towards child rearing practices that one tends to encounter that are culturally based. These are very real and can be the basis for a great deal of friction within a blended family! I would guess that British attitudes are closer to American than are FSU. I must say, though, that based on my experience of the last year, my new FSU wife and I seem to be virtually 'on the same page' on this, much more so than I experienced with my prior marriages. (No Gary, we don't use a stun gun! ) So again we see that while cultural differences do exist, those generalities become relatively meaningless when you have two specific individuals tying the knot!

The generalities become meaningless also when people move. Especially when little kids move, because they don't remember much of it to begin with anyway.

Case in point about something cultural wherein a person changed. An adult. When my husband first got here, he was unnerved by helicopters. Helicopters in Northern Ireland meant trouble as they would hover and continually circle an area. Now when he sees or hears a helicopter, he rarely looks up.

He also used to really hate job interviews because of discrimination. Despite all the law in the UK about no discrimination due to religion, employers in Northern Ireland would weed out who they wanted by their faith. Even though a persons faith was not listed on their CV, an employer could easily discern if you were Protestant or Catholic by the schools you attended. This was actually a sticking point for my husband when he first got here just because he knew he had been discriminated against in the past.

People change when they move big. There are always things left over from childhood. But once again I think it's a "per person" situation. I'm sure not everyone from Northern Ireland got creeped out by helicopters - if you follow what I'm saying.

Edited April 8, 2012 by Rebecca Jo

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

If two things are not equal, one is greater than the other. I've been teaching that to my 19 month old for about a month now.

Try to get it right for his sake. If two things are not equal, they are different

what is there to argue about? Are you teaching this to the 19 month old in English?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I would have to agree with you here! But I think (I am not certain) that the OP was really trying to get at the differences in parental attitudes towards child rearing practices that one tends to encounter that are culturally based. These are very real and can be the basis for a great deal of friction within a blended family! I would guess that British attitudes are closer to American than are FSU. I must say, though, that based on my experience of the last year, my new FSU wife and I seem to be virtually 'on the same page' on this, much more so than I experienced with my prior marriages. (No Gary, we don't use a stun gun! ) So again we see that while cultural differences do exist, those generalities become relatively meaningless when you have two specific individuals tying the knot!

Pasha was happy to hear that they did not use stun guns here and that he did not have to clean the school after classes! The first day we asked him..."So how was school"

"Great! We don't have to clean the school after classes!

Gary "What?"

Alla "Vooowhat!!!!!!!!"

see..differences

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

I am not confusing any terms. Equal means "same". You have said all kids are the same. Equal. Children are children. Nothing to compare and contrast?

Did the British kids speak Russian? Were you raising them in an English speaking society?

Do you think that would be the same? Equal? Equal means "same".

So what else regarding non-English speaking children do you have to offer? How did the children you raised handle their ESL instruction? Was it further difficult because the ESL teacher spoke only Spanish and your kids spoke Russian? How did you handle the fact that texts were not available in their native language at all? What did you do so that they could even understand what they had done in class that day? How did you get your children to socialize with others that they could not understand? How did you handle the language differences at home? Did you let your British children speak their native language at home? Did YOU speak their native language to them? What about movies and books, could they read books and watch movies in their native language? How did you teach them to drive? In what language did you teach your British children about life? Did YOU leanr to speak their native language? Oh yeah...of course you did.

Anything for us? Or is there no particular reason for a RUB subforum because we are all the same? No differences to discuss at all? Because we are all equal?

How about realizing that there has been a lot of things discussed in this thread and trying to stay on the topic of the thread for the benefit of the OP

Please try to stay on topic, it seems ONLY people without any experience to discuss on topic want to disrupt our forum. Is there not somewhere else more appropriate?

This is all stuff that had to be done after the child came to the US. And it would have to be done by anyone whose child did not speak English. This would not be exclusive to children from the Former Soviet Union.

It has to do with parenting. Good parenting. Not parenting of a kid from one specific geographic area.

I would have to agree with you here! But I think (I am not certain) that the OP was really trying to get at the differences in parental attitudes towards child rearing practices that one tends to encounter that are culturally based. These are very real and can be the basis for a great deal of friction within a blended family! I would guess that British attitudes are closer to American than are FSU. I must say, though, that based on my experience of the last year, my new FSU wife and I seem to be virtually 'on the same page' on this, much more so than I experienced with my prior marriages. (No Gary, we don't use a stun gun! ) So again we see that while cultural differences do exist, those generalities become relatively meaningless when you have two specific individuals tying the knot!

Because, good people find each other. Somehow. No matter where they are from.

[slim 1,514]

Because, good people find each other. Somehow. No matter where they are from.

Yeah. Tell that to my wife.

[james&olya 1,121]

Because, good people find each other. Somehow. No matter where they are from.

Thank you!

[highlander08 9]

This is all stuff that had to be done after the child came to the US. And it would have to be done by anyone whose child did not speak English. This would not be exclusive to children from the Former Soviet Union.

It has to do with parenting. Good parenting. Not parenting of a kid from one specific geographic area.

Because, good people find each other. Somehow. No matter where they are from.

This forum is exclusive to children from the Former Soviet Union.

:thumbs: Excellent point, BUT this a forum about children from the FSU... kids from one specific geographic area....not children or ANYONE else from other countries. Not about children from England, Ireland, Portugal, Mexico, Italy, Poland or any other country as that is not where my interest lies. MY first post on VJ was put in the IR-1/CR-1 forum and transferred by administration to the Forum on RUB for which I am very grateful, as the saying goes birds of a feather flock together. Through Visa Journey's RUB Forum I have had the opportunity to interact with quite a few fine people who I have come to appreciate for their honesty, straightforwardness and unbiased advice and opinions on women and children from the former Soviet Union countries these are people who given the opportunity I would not mind meeting and possibly calling friends, as for whatever reasons they also have decided to seek and or marry someone from the former Soviet Union... which is why I am posting here and not on forums for other countries. If I was interested in information about women and children of other countries that's where I would have posted or been transferred to by administration. I cannot understand why people from these other forms are coming into this forum reading it posting their opinions because it is different than what their opinions are based on their life experiences living in other countries or with spouses and/or children from other countries. From what I have seen so far the members of the RUB forum have been very open and honest sharing their wit and wisdom, they have been polite, respectful and considerate of other people's feelings in giving their advice which I have been asking for.. however these people coming in from forums for other countries, have been baiting, saying certain people in this forum are saying things that they have not said, and basically appear to be stirring things up to the point where some of their posts have been removed by administration. I have a request for the latter members of the Visa journey. If at all possible would you please read whatever you like in these forums then take it back to your forums to comment upon and stir things up in order to feed your ego. Thank you.

Edited April 8, 2012 by highlander08

[james&olya 1,121]

Trolls, with 'drive-by' postings!

To tell the truth, though, it can be fun sometimes to have a little back and forth with some of them, as long as they are not total jerks! Unfortunately, there are a few of those that happen by every now and then!

[Laveau 67]

Another off topic by a caba cuz its not fsu kid specific. but oh well. Threads here are always going off tangent, no? I stopped reading at Anita's children are children post. My experience:

American kids can be kind of rude when it comes to hospitality. I've visited homes wirh kids in Romania (several) and afghanstani homes here in the states. The children have a lot more manners to guests. A guest visits and the children (after initial adult greets) comes up to the adult and greets formally. It's quite different from the many many American homes I've visited. One of my bffs is from France. She's VERY FRENCH. But her daughter was born and raised here. I like her daughter. Pleasant girl but she has the typical American kid attitude to guests. When I go over there the girl never says hi or anything first. I and whomever else in company always makes it a point to greet the kid. I find that's very typical of the American child.