RUB - FSU children compared to USC children & others

[baron555 934]

Take heed OP! You will never attain such perfection, but perhaps--but only perhaps!!--you might attain such heights as to graze your fingertips upon Gary's mighty robe of manliness.

Don't worry about Mox, he's loved well here on RUB (I'm a newbie but I believe I echo others' thoughts.)

I have the perfect family also with a very lovely and happy wife and happy five year old boy also.

The common denominator is that the parents have talked about and planned out their relationship relative to the children, have made a plan and work that plan and the children benefit from it.

My wife made it very clear to me in her very first email response to me sending her my detailed intro letter that her young son was her top priority and by me making it my top priority has made me golden in both of their eyes.

So to the OP, who still has to meet his possible fiance and future addition to his children, make this a major focus and talk about it and follow through.....FSU women will place that far above and beyond any other quality or seeming fault you may think you have.

Maybe this is the difference between some American women and FSU women (I didn't say all American women but maybe some.)

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Yep, in RUB most people dedicate themselves to talking ####### about American women and about how RUB women are better, but this guy just takes it to levels that indicate incredible naivety or just trolling. If he's actually serious, he's going to be very easy to disappoint after he sees his RUB hottie still goes #2 and being human, is not perfect. Since she doesn't speak much English and he not a lot of Russian I imagine their talks are composed of her flashing cute smiles; OP, if you're not trolling, be careful, you demonstrate that you'd be as easy to scam as an old man who thinks those webcam women want him.

Unless we give detailed answers from experience and then we are ridiculed also. There is a lot less "talking #######" about American women in this forum than you, and many others, indicate. There is a LOT of talking good about RUB women which is not the same as "talking #######" about American women. I would expect the foreign men married to American women to be talking good about them somewhere on this site, I do not feel I am obligated to. Why would I? How is talking good about our wives talking bad about American women? How insecure does one need to be to think that?

I take it that the OP is trying to learn something and offer my experience which I actually have on this topic. If he is a troll, naive or whatever, perhaps someone else will benefit. Just maybe?

But I am disappointed that when people ask specific questions about children they get a lot of non-answers from people with no experience raising children and even challenged on their own validity, and then others come along and insult members that DO offer experience. Really weird.

I don't answer in the threads about "how to get a tourist visa for my Russian cousin" because I do not know and do not have experience with that. I suppose I could go there and ridicule people that do answer and get +1s for it, but I choose not to. Why so many non-answers on a pretty important subject? Are you really worried he will get scammed by an internet hottie? I'm not.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Don't worry about Mox, he's loved well here on RUB (I'm a newbie but I believe I echo others' thoughts.)

I have the perfect family also with a very lovely and happy wife and happy five year old boy also.

The common denominator is that the parents have talked about and planned out their relationship relative to the children, have made a plan and work that plan and the children benefit from it.

My wife made it very clear to me in her very first email response to me sending her my detailed intro letter that her young son was her top priority and by me making it my top priority has made me golden in both of their eyes.

So to the OP, who still has to meet his possible fiance and future addition to his children, make this a major focus and talk about it and follow through.....FSU women will place that far above and beyond any other quality or seeming fault you may think you have.

Maybe this is the difference between some American women and FSU women (I didn't say all American women but maybe some.)

Thanks Phil, Good advice. Often an answer to the question as to why the RUB Hottie chooses the "old bald fat man"

GOOD FATHER. Good Fathers are GOLD!

[AmyWrites 593]

Unless we give detailed answers from experience and then we are ridiculed also. There is a lot less "talking #######" about American women in this forum than you, and many others, indicate. There is a LOT of talking good about RUB women which is not the same as "talking #######" about American women. I would expect the foreign men married to American women to be talking good about them somewhere on this site, I do not feel I am obligated to. Why would I? How is talking good about our wives talking bad about American women? How insecure does one need to be to think that?

I take it that the OP is trying to learn something and offer my experience which I actually have on this topic. If he is a troll, naive or whatever, perhaps someone else will benefit. Just maybe?

But I am disappointed that when people ask specific questions about children they get a lot of non-answers from people with no experience raising children and even challenged on their own validity, and then others come along and insult members that DO offer experience. Really weird.

I don't answer in the threads about "how to get a tourist visa for my Russian cousin" because I do not know and do not have experience with that. I suppose I could go there and ridicule people that do answer and get +1s for it, but I choose not to. Why so many non-answers on a pretty important subject? Are you really worried he will get scammed by an internet hottie? I'm not.

I've raised kids. No Russian kids (yet), and not my own since I'm nearly infertile, but I've had to be the parent before, too often.

The talking ####### about American women doesn't bother me, hey, I dated American guys who made sure I never dated American guys again, so I understand the feeling, and I don't remember you specifically talking ####### about American women, but I've seen it here; don't know if it's still happening since I'm not on as often... it's usually along the lines of talking about what controlling, crazy, jealous and possessive american women are, and also fatter and uglier and butches.

I just find these OP's posts very strange, and yeah, I don't like seeing people being taken advantage of, even internet strangers. I dislike reading some of the threads here on VJ of people who married who they thought was the love of their life and then everything turned sour. In your case, you've been very fortunate that you and Alla had an in-person relationship and everything was and still is great for you and your story I think is one everyone in VJ admires, hell, I don't know Alla or your kids but I think I speak for everyone here that they deserve great respect. But sometimes, long distance relationships, by their own nature, hide a lot of things and people realize too late that there were some problems.

Edited April 5, 2012 by AmyWrites

[Tanya and Barry 59]

Please, no one take offense to this. It is just my experience. I have four sons...and one grandson (one month old:-)) My sons range in age from 19-26 (I am 47). I have a little experience raising sons. Boys are raise differently there than they are here. Especially when they are young. They tend to be spoiled. Treated like the Emperada in waiting. If I were starting over and looking for a wife in the FSU I would not consider a woman with a boy between the ages of 5-12. I know this sounds harsh but my experience has been pretty uniform in this regard. Daughters are raised differently--more strictly. Again no offense. I know emotions run high on this subject.

[baron555 934]

We are still communicating exclusively via e-mail getting better aquainted,

No phone calls or Skype video? And basic language skills.....how long have you been communicating?

I have not filed yet as we have not met in person yet

Good move, you have to do that. Document everything since you'll need that proof if you both decide.

.thats why the questions as I do not want to screw things up with her...

It would be better if we knew more about your relationship with this woman and your plans for your meeting....rather than asking about generalities concerning FSU and US life.

The what-to-dos and what-not-to-dos are pretty well spelled out in other websites, etc. or have already been covered here.

You two need to focus on the two of you; I wouldn't expect very much talk concerning comingling of families and parenting styles to be discussed much during the first visit. Save that for the future, if there is one.

One disturbing thought though is that you two have only been emailing? How do you know she is real? Where/How did you meet?

What about this other FSU woman and the trip and the marriage to her? Are you repeating a similar mistake?

[baron555 934]

Please, no one take offense to this. It is just my experience. I have four sons...and one grandson (one month old:-)) My sons range in age from 19-26 (I am 47). I have a little experience raising sons. Boys are raise differently there than they are here. Especially when they are young. They tend to be spoiled. Treated like the Emperada in waiting. If I were starting over and looking for a wife in the FSU I would not consider a woman with a boy between the ages of 5-12. I know this sounds harsh but my experience has been pretty uniform in this regard. Daughters are raised differently--more strictly. Again no offense. I know emotions run high on this subject.

Well my two at the time and now five year old step-son would love to hear you say this.

I personally know of two other couples where the mother brought over a 5 year old and a 7 year old and I can't say that they were spoiled.....maybe the opposite.

I guess it just depends on the parents more than the country.

[Tanya and Barry 59]

Well my two at the time and now five year old step-son would love to hear you say this.

I personally know of two other couples where the mother brought over a 5 year old and a 7 year old and I can't say that they were spoiled.....maybe the opposite.

I guess it just depends on the parents more than the country.

Younger than five would be OK. Still malleable ...Just my experience...hence the disclaimers...

Edited April 5, 2012 by Tanya and Barry

[Kathryn41 3,205]

thread closed for review

After review, this thread is re-opened with a number of posts containing personal attacks and/or inappropriate comments have been removed. One member has also been thread-banned.

'Baiting' posts are a violation of TOS and not allowed.

Edited April 5, 2012 by Kathryn41

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Gary,

I think every woman (no matter her nationality) who is worthy of a decent man's time is looking for a good father for her children.

I don't believe this is a characteristic exclusive to FSU women.

[james&olya 1,121]

Gary,

I think every woman (no matter her nationality) who is worthy of a decent man's time is looking for a good father for her children.

I don't believe this is a characteristic exclusive to FSU women.

Maybe what is so unique (relatively so anyway) to the FSU women is that as single mothers they remain 'hot'! The same 'hot' women here would be less likely to be mothers that need to be actively looking for fathers for their children. If they are 'hot' with children they are far more likely to be/remain married. If they are single mothers here and having trouble finding a man wanting to step in and become husband/father they are a lot more likely to look like one of those 'women of wal-mart'! I know this is not politically correct to say but if it is true it should be said anyway. Being politically correct does very little good for anybody and actually lets many real problems persist that proper recognition of might help resolve.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Maybe what is so unique (relatively so anyway) to the FSU women is that as single mothers they remain 'hot'! The same 'hot' women here would be less likely to be mothers that need to be actively looking for fathers for their children. If they are 'hot' with children they are far more likely to be/remain married. If they are single mothers here and having trouble finding a man wanting to step in and become husband/father they are a lot more likely to look like one of those 'women of wal-mart'! I know this is not politically correct to say but if it is true it should be said anyway. Being politically correct does very little good for anybody and actually lets many real problems persist that proper recognition of might help resolve.

That is probably one of the strangest things I have ever heard.

I work with several women who have had children who could easily be considered "hot". American women.

I just think you guys are so far off base when you make these kind of generalizations. A good woman is a good woman. No matter where she is from.

[baron555 934]

That is probably one of the strangest things I have ever heard.

I work with several women who have had children who could easily be considered "hot". American women.

I just think you guys are so far off base when you make these kind of generalizations. A good woman is a good woman. No matter where she is from.

I would agree with your last statement. The difference between FSU women and American women has more to do with their cultural and environmental upbringing.

FSU women, at least 30 plus year olds, usually do not have a car, walk a ton, carry the groceries, eat less (many countries do this) and therefore are usually more fit and trim than those who drive everywhere, eat more fast foods and processed foods, etc etc. FSU women like to dress up not to really impress the men but to impress themselves and other women. This may be a hard concept to comprehend if you're not exposed to that environment. The mere thought of going out in public in your sleepwear or with no makeup or etc is totally beyond their comprehension. Call it what you may but them's the truths.

And, at least in all the many circles (none trailer trash or blue collar) that I hang/hung with living near the big city of Chicago, none of the single women with children were all that appealing better still none gave much notice to any nice man who might make a good father for their kids. All had a lot more baggage than those from FSU, at least in my searches. I'm sure there are other very nice women who are concerned for their own health in addition to their kids.

Don't be put off or misconstrued by our locker-room discussions about our hot women; they are all very nice women first...with a bunch more nice attributes. We here tend to talk about them in this regard and champion FSU women only because we are in the RUB forum. Championing other women must be taken to that respective regional forum; where I am sure the same championing takes place.....or I would hope so.??!!!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Gary,

I think every woman (no matter her nationality) who is worthy of a decent man's time is looking for a good father for her children.

I don't believe this is a characteristic exclusive to FSU women.

I keep you on ignore Rebecca, just because of things like this, but since someone copied this already I will respond.

This is the typical "you said something good about Ukrainian women so you must mean something bad about American women" response. In this thread alone that has already been interpretted to mean that I called American women "fat lazy beyotches" when I have said not ONE word about American women. Nothing.

I will let men married to American women tell people how hot they are and how much they look for men that are good fathers to the exclusion of superficial features. I am sure there are plenty of such comments in the UK forum or the MENA forum, right? I don't go there as I have no interest in those forums and really nothing to add to their discussions, so I STAY OUT. I speak about my wife, my wife is Ukrainian. If you, or anyone else, tries to imply that means something about any other nationality of women, that is not my problem to correct.

I am responding in a thread in the RUB forum specifically asking about experiences with FSU women and children. The mention of American women would actually be "off topic" in such a thread.

Edited April 5, 2012 by Gary and Alla

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

I keep you on ignore Rebecca, just because of things like this, but since someone copied this already I will respond.

This is the typical "you said something good about Ukrainian women so you must mean something bad about American women" response. In this thread alone that has already been interpretted to mean that I called American women "fat lazy beyotches" when I have said not ONE word about American women. Nothing.

I will let men married to American women tell people how hot they are and how much they look for men that are good fathers to the exclusion of superficial features. I am sure there are plenty of such comments in the UK forum or the MENA forum, right? I don't go there as I have no interest in those forums and really nothing to add to their discussions, so I STAY OUT. I speak about my wife, my wife is Ukrainian. If you, or anyone else, tries to imply that means something about any other nationality of women, that is not my problem to correct.

I am responding in a thread in the RUB forum specifically asking about experiences with FSU women and children. The mention of American women would actually be "off topic" in such a thread.

No Gary, it is NOT that kind of statement.

Trust me if I want to tell you something I will tell you. In no uncertain terms. No need to read between the lines. No need to try and interpret something else out of what I say.

I merely made a point about women in general. And I did not do it in an insulting way.

You are the one who, a few posts back, said it would be important to an FSU woman if a man would make a good father. You are the one who selected women from a certain geographical area.

I merely made the statement that any good woman would want a man who would make a good father. And that I do not believe this would be a trait specific to FSU women.

Edited April 6, 2012 by Rebecca Jo