She's doing it again.

[Tahoma 2,291]

I have a heart to do good in life and a mind to think correctly.

I have some empathy for the mods, but that's why we pay them the big bucks.

And to think, Rlogan, your post will prob just fly overhead...hahah. I like it....

If that is you thrill, have fun with it.

Have a good day.

Ron...you were right...rlogan's post flew right over his head...

No surprise there.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

My advice is once she has the baby, get a paternity test DO NOT sign the birth certificate without one. Her actions make it seem as if she has something going on behind your back. Taking the car out, not coming home, being mad at you while "on the phone" Play it safe make sure the child is yours , if it is then support your child and divorce her if thats what she wants put her out of the house.

Agree. Your being played. You need to man up.

[marissa musthaler 3]

She was like this before becoming pregnant.

i think she is going over the fence with her behaivor . . you dont deserved her . .

[TeddyHoney 42]

It is amazing how people can put things before their children. I can't fathom it myself but people do it. And it seems to me that OP and his wife might be the types that could put their egos and controlling and spoiled behaviors and their own battles and problems with each other before the best interests of their child. I mean, they're doing it already and the kid is not even here yet. Or does no one else see that? Actually, they are both manipulating and controlling and wanting things their way and not into the give and take required in any relationship, they just exhibit those manipulating and controlling characteristics in different ways.

Geez - OP!I don't know if you've thought about it or not, realized it or not - yet (and with baby due in 2 months, its a little late now) but baby changes everything. EVERYTHING! Nothing else will matter, least of all some of this petty ####### between you and your wife. You both need to grow up NOW! Please! It's going to be ALL ABOUT THE CHILD from here out. Should be already with wife being pregnant. Obviously it's not all about the baby/pregnancy for you guys but CRIPE! You guys have a baby on the way! Who gives a ####### about who put a measuring cup where? Or any nonsense like that?

I'm sure it's tough for you having a wife like that and I'm just as sure some of this is due to her being pregnant and all that, but I'll save my sympathy for that poor kid.

God bless you both and especially that baby!

[gretchen_darren 67]

asawa ko and i read the posts. And we talked on it. So here are our thoughts:

1) she wanted to pick a fight. Knowing his pre-disposition of OCD in the kitchen, this was easy with the measuring cup in the wrong place. She does this in order oto cause fights.

2) According to asawa ko, she is absolutely not acting like a wife should for her husband. However, this is based on the village and area my wife grew up in. In the area where my wife grew up in, women are taught to serve their husbands. Divorce is not an option. However, this is not true across all of the philippines.

3) Her behaviors is childish. However, he is re-acting as a father to a child, and not as a husband to a wife. He needs to change his perspective.

My suggestion is to look at the wife's isssues. She is sending money home. He needs to assert HIS leadership in the family. But also assert himself over her family. Stop her from being centered on sending money home to being centered on them. Also, her friends are doing her no favor. I would interject myself into her friends, start showing up and being there. Not grounding her, but going with her. also, not asking to tell her friends would be the last thing I would do. I would be open and honest with her friends and find filipino american groups in the area nd get involved. Her problem is the prespective of sending money home. Her family is using her for money. He is allowing it. She feels still a child to home, not as part of the marriage to him. This is where he needs to focus. how to change the focus of her to him versus to home. If I seperated from her, I would take her back home, and leave her with her family. spend some time in the hotel or visiting other places in the Philippines without her or go home for a couple of months and let her stay there. Then she if she wants to come back. Maybe going home to her village is not a shame, but to my girl, this is very shameful and a disgrace.

Best of luck. both asawa ko and I wish you happiness. But if you leave her, please contact me. I have many filipina friends who would treat you like a true husband.

[RickJovi 81]

I always try to keep the kitchen organized. She knows where everything goes but does not care to try and put things back where they belong. So, when she puts things away they end up in the most bizarre places.It just means that I have to always ask where stuff is, and when I am done it goes back where it should have been.

Yesterday she asked for pancakes for breakfast. I could find all but the measuring cup I needed. I asked her for it 5 separate times as I cleaned the dishes that were left in the sink, she would not tell me because she considered talking to her friend on the phone more important. The 6th time I butted in, interrupting her call, she came into the kitchen and showed me where it was. Instead of it being in the cabinet above the prep area, with the rest of them, she pulled it from under the cook-top. Thanking her, I started making the pancakes, and she went back to her call. I heard her friend laughing on the phone from our antics. To me, and apparently her friend, it is a normal interaction that happens between married people.

When the pancakes were finished I called her again. She had just hung up the phone and came. Only instead of coming to get the pancakes, she lays into me saying things like I'm rude, she was on the phone, I don't respect her, etc. She then opted to not eat, because she was not hungry. Note: It was now 10am, and she had not eaten anything yet. She ended up throwing out the pancakes while I was doing the below.

I ate my half, tried and failed to get her to eat hers, took a shower, and proceeded to start making our grocery list. I decided the other day to go on a diet starting Monday. A coworker told me about a site that I was getting recipes from and adding what I needed to the grocery list. I made up a full weeks meal plan for me, she said she didn't want any of the stuff. She's pregnant, so she should be eating more, etc. She'll pick up what she wants when we are there. Whatever, I'm heavy enough I'm starting at 36 points on the weight watchers diet plan. The recipes I found are enough to satisfy that. They would have been fine.

After hounding me the entire time I was making the list about, am I done yet, when we are leaving, she wanted to go over her friends this afternoon,etc., I finished. Only to have to wait for her to take her shower and get ready because she didn't do anything but be mad at me, waste food, and try to annoy me.

I didn't know where a bunch of the stuff I needed for the recipes were. I had never even heard of a matzo cracker until the other day, so this trip took longer than normal. As we went through the store and I got the stuff on the list, she threw things in the basket that she wanted as well, it wasn't much. And she took most of it over her friends house later.

Towards the end of the list, trying to track down the obscure stuff I had no idea about, she started complaining about being hungry. It was now close to 2pm. She then proceeded to walk off in a huff.

I eventually found everything and got in line, called her several times because I could not find her, eventually paid for everything and went to the car thinking she might be there. She wasn't so I packed up the car, called her again several times, and then went back into the store to look for her. I found her at the service center. She had blown $10 on scratch tickets, and didn't win anything. She was now mad at wasting the money.

She got in the car, complaining about being hungry again. I was hungry too so I asked where she wanted to go. "I don't know." I gave her several options, to which she just told me to pick. We went to Burger King. Being hungry myself, and her having not eaten all day, I opted to go in. She opted to stay in the car and not eat??? I ordered, she stayed in the car. I ate; she eventually came in, complained the entire time, still did not eat but again complained about being hungry. I pointed out that she was acting more childish than the 3 kids that had just came in with their parents. She wanted me to hurry up because she wanted to go out with her friends.

We made it home, I unloaded the car and put away the refrigerated stuff, she stormed around the house saying I was taking too long, etc.She kicked things, threw things (her phone being one of them), pulled things out of the refrigerator and threw them out, etc. I had grabbed her keys saying she was not driving to her friends because only grown-ups are allowed to drive. She begged me for the keys, destroyed my key-ring trying to take mine from me,and partially undressed me, laughing the entire time like it was a joke, trying to convince me to give them to her so she could drive her friend to her other friends house, she would then come back and get me so I could drop her off at the same place. Apparently said friend had been waiting since we were at thestore for a ride. Her friends were waiting on her and were making food for her etc... I stuck to my guns and said I would drive.

Eventually we got in the car and left, more than a half hour after we had gotten home. Most of that time dealing with her temper tantrum. She wanted me to promise not to say anything to her friend. On the way we found out said friend had already gotten a ride, it was over an hour after we were at the store at this point. We rerouted to their destination so she could meet them. I forgot to give her keys back; I had used them to start the car because my keys were all over the place in my pocket as the key chain was destroyed.

After dropping her off I got a new key chain and bought stuff to work on the house.

She texted me later asking if I was home, she didn't have her keys so I had to be there to let her in. After getting home she again went off. I don't respect her, etc. We went back and forth about who is disrespecting who.

First off, she has been here for 4 years and still does not consider this home. I consider this disrespectful to our marriage and our family.

The following I consider as me respecting her and her disrespecting me.

When she got a job I let her manage her own money, which she has proven to not know how to manage. She contributes almost nothing to the family bills. She does give me $230 a month for the loan payment on the bathroom remodel but I had to negotiate with her on that. She used to only give me $200 a month to help with the rent on the apartment we had, which cost $1100 a month. She brings home $1000-$1400 a month, so that leaves her with $800-$1200 a month. She sends money to her family the day she gets paid; I have no issue with this. But she blows the rest on useless stuff, like $100 pocketbooks etc., and constantly complains about having no money. And she wonders why I say her becoming a stay at home mom, like she wants, is not going to hurt us financially? Yes this may be disrespectful, but it's the truth.

I taught her how to drive so she is not dependent on her friends, public transportation, or me to get where she needs to go. We still only have one car, because I can't afford to pay for 2 and insurance for both. Note above.

I get mad at her for things like not coming home when she gets out of work when she has the car. Because of this I can't do any of the errands I need to do. Wasting money on $100 pocketbooks or name brand clothing, or things we don't need.

She gets mad at me for stuff like interrupting a phone call, playing on the computer or watching TV, which I only do because she isn't spending time with me and is always on the phone/Skype with her friends or family or playing video games of her own. Hell, if she put as much into our marriage as she does into that damn zynga poker game (she has won $20 million), we wouldn't have any issues.

She says I should give her a divorce, which I will never give her. I don't believe in it. She seems to think that if we got divorced that she would get our son after he is born. Hello? Police record? Acts more childish than I did when I was a kid, and my parents said I was a hellion. She can't manage money to pay for herself, never mind a baby too.

I won't give her a separation either, a husband and wife should always live together.

She is going to be a mother soon and she acts like a spoiled child. I told her if she wants to act like a child she will be treated like one. I told her she is grounded, no going out with her friends, etc. She is only allowed to go to work and to the doctors on her own. Anywhere else she wants to go, she has to go with me. I told her she is not allowed to drive; children are not allowed to drive cars.

She then tells me that it hurts when I call her a child; she'd rather that I hit her than call her names...... First off, guys should never hit a woman, especially the mother of your child. Second, she's 27, is going to be a mom in about 2 months, and she throws temper tantrums. What the hell else is she?

She wouldn't come to bed last night, opting for sleeping on the couch, complaining the entire time that it hurt her back and her stomach. I tried to carry her to bed, but with the 30 lbs. she gained since coming here, the baby weight, and her having a death grip on the couch, I couldn't do it.

She woke up this morning with the intention of walking to work, which I would not let her do. First, she's pregnant. Second, she woke up only an hour early. Normally she gets up 20 mins before she needs to be there. She was ready to leave 20 mins before she needed to be there, and it would have taken a fit person 52 mins to walk there, according to Google maps. Hello? Pregnant??

All this because she didn't put a measuring cup back and I interrupted a phone call.

Was the measuring cup worth all of the Headache? Seems to me like you made a poor choice in selecting a wife, but you also make some poor choices in dealing with her. You can't treat her like a child and tell her what she will and won't do. I know Filipinas from my previous experiences and all you are doing is pissing them off. I am not takng your wifes side eiher as she is immature, selfish, materialistic and probably has hidden agendas that you do not know about. It is obvious there is a marital breakdown between both of you and both of you are at fault in the marriage.She is hot headed and I have exerienced that many times with Filipinas. It must be because of their Spanish heritage. I try to be smarter when dealing with my fiancee who is a Filipina. If I say the wrong thing or something I think was innocent, watch out, here comes the attitude and you pay for it, all over something stupid. So learn to pick your batttles. Sometimes when you lose a battle you win in the long run. It is an art you need to learn and learn it quickly. So try to get her to go to counseling with you and if she won't, whether or not she is pregnant you may have to face the reality of divorcing her, even if you don't believe in it or your going to live in hell FOREVER!!!! Try to watch what you say to her since you know she is hot headed, but don't treat her like a child even if you think she acts like one. Filipinas get offended easily and a lot of it has to do with cultural differences. Both of you need to learn the fine art of integrating them as one and both respecting each other. By your lengthy post I can tell that you both do not respect each other. You wanted a pretty young Filipina wife and you got one. If you didn't see the warning signs before you married her, then either she is a great actress and needs to receive an Oscar or you were blinded by your lust for a beautiful young wife. Remember everything that looks good, is not good for you. Both of you have a long hard road ahead of you, but you need to start by not trying to control her and treat her like a child, no matter how much she acts like one and pisses you off. And if you think her Filipina friends will side with you, you got another thing coming. Most Filipinas side with Filipinas because they are their country women. Maybe not all, but most and I speak from my previous experiences. Either learn patience and respect for each other or get it over with and get divorced. Do you want to see your child be raised in a household where there is no love and respect. I fear for the emotional welfare of your child. Good luck to both of you. You both need it.

[RickJovi 81]

asawa ko and i read the posts. And we talked on it. So here are our thoughts:

1) she wanted to pick a fight. Knowing his pre-disposition of OCD in the kitchen, this was easy with the measuring cup in the wrong place. She does this in order oto cause fights.

2) According to asawa ko, she is absolutely not acting like a wife should for her husband. However, this is based on the village and area my wife grew up in. In the area where my wife grew up in, women are taught to serve their husbands. Divorce is not an option. However, this is not true across all of the philippines.

3) Her behaviors is childish. However, he is re-acting as a father to a child, and not as a husband to a wife. He needs to change his perspective.

My suggestion is to look at the wife's isssues. She is sending money home. He needs to assert HIS leadership in the family. But also assert himself over her family. Stop her from being centered on sending money home to being centered on them. Also, her friends are doing her no favor. I would interject myself into her friends, start showing up and being there. Not grounding her, but going with her. also, not asking to tell her friends would be the last thing I would do. I would be open and honest with her friends and find filipino american groups in the area nd get involved. Her problem is the prespective of sending money home. Her family is using her for money. He is allowing it. She feels still a child to home, not as part of the marriage to him. This is where he needs to focus. how to change the focus of her to him versus to home. If I seperated from her, I would take her back home, and leave her with her family. spend some time in the hotel or visiting other places in the Philippines without her or go home for a couple of months and let her stay there. Then she if she wants to come back. Maybe going home to her village is not a shame, but to my girl, this is very shameful and a disgrace.

Best of luck. both asawa ko and I wish you happiness. But if you leave her, please contact me. I have many filipina friends who would treat you like a true husband.

Very well said. You and your asawa are very wise

[actob99 156]

Remember everything that looks good, is not good for you.

Damm am I in trouble!!!!!!!!!!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Things must be slow in the Filipino world.

[Darnell 8,478]

either that, or this was the best April's Fools Day Post, so far.. this year... at VJ.

[charlize56 4]

im a spoiled brat but it doesnt mean that i act the same like her,,,hell no! i cant beleive that there are pinay women here in america treated their american husband that way.I know how to organize my husband's kitchen eventhough im not a good cook.we can call that type of woman as"makapal ang mukha"and no conscience...even ifsometime i didnt feel good to do some household chores and I saw my husband doin it and i knew he's tired from work,i still help him bcoz that my duty,and i appreicates all the things he's doin for me and my family.

[PaulnUsa 19]

All this because she didn't put a measuring cup back and I interrupted a phone call.

How long have you been married? Did you get a prenup?

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

"These Filipina Units do have a manufacturing defect called "Stupid Pride". If you yell at them for making the same mistake three times in a row that's the best way to call stupid pride into action. So they'll "show you" by quitting. Then they're going to act out maliciously. So I diffused it instead of letting it ruin a whole day. Whenever she does this I tell her I know exactly what she is up to, and it isn't going to work: you want me to be angry. If you butt heads with her then it just escalates."

This does not apply to all Filipina’s but there is some obvious, and true facts to this statement!

Not sure that I agree. My Ex had the same affliction and she's British. I'm not going to blame her individual defect on an entire group of people. For crisakes they gave us Cricket, Beatles and ManU.

[Dan and Judy 614]

For crisakes they gave us Cricket,

We try not to hold that against them

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Also, OP needs to get clued in that she does not need his permission for a divorce.

Actually because she's Filipino she does. In order for the divorce to be recognised in the Philippines (so she can remarry later or whatever) HE needs to file for divorce, he needs to be the petitioner.