Who else is having 2 weddings?

[X Factor 1,111]

We are having an engagement party so that my sweet Filipina can have her family there. Then when she arrives in the States I will have a wedding within 3 months.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Nope just one.

I wonder how many people try to plan a big bash but then decide not to go through with it.

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

Nope just one.

I wonder how many people try to plan a big bash but then decide not to go through with it.

Having been around awhile, I've seen a lot of bright-eyed UK fiancées telling their plans for the big wedding "later". Then later they decide the money is better spent on down payment for a house, a second car, etc or they are ready to move back to the UK because they hate it here.

Immigration just sucks the life out of some dreams.....................  

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Having been around awhile, I've seen a lot of bright-eyed UK fiancées telling their plans for the big wedding "later". Then later they decide the money is better spent on down payment for a house, a second car, etc or they are ready to move back to the UK because they hate it here.

Immigration just sucks the life out of some dreams.....................  

I agree.

The thing Wes hated the most about the process was it took all the spontaneity out of romance. He said he wanted to wake up beside me one day and say "hey lets get married - today". Can't exactly do that when there are petitions to file.

[Alyssa Marie 0]

Not sure if this is the right place for this topic, but I've been having one of those days where i'm trying to think past the K1 process, and about all the excitement ahead, just to stay positive!

I wondered how many people ended up having 2 'weddings' - we've agreed to get legally married within a few days of me arriving in the US (New Orleans) on my K1, but we're just gonna go sign the papers with our with 2 close friends and then go to our favourite restaurant afterwards, all very low-key (i won't exactly be wearing jeans, but i won't be wearing a wedding dress either!). Then we'll have a proper celebration about a year after that, to allow all our friends and families time to book flights etc. Who did/is planning to do this, and who is just going all out to plan everything in the 3 months we've got to get married?!

Me and my fiance are doing the exact same thing!! When he gets here, we're having a very low key wedding at a court house with a few witnesses, then going out for a nice dinner. Just like you, we'll be dressing like "smart-casual" I guess you would call it? Hahaha. Then a year or two down the road, when we have more time to plan and stuff, we'll have a proper big one with all the friends and family. I think it's the best thing to do for a big event such as this one. That way we'll both have more time to discuss things together and go and look at places and things together. So happy I'm not the only one!!

[Elora & Rob 15]

also doing 2 weddings. the first within 1/2 weeks off arrival and then we will arrange a religious ceremony at a later date.

to get married in the catholic church you need to do 6 months of counsiling, also it gives my family more time to attend.

[USArmyWifey 2]

I agree.

The thing Wes hated the most about the process was it took all the spontaneity out of romance. He said he wanted to wake up beside me one day and say "hey lets get married - today". Can't exactly do that when there are petitions to file.

Thats exactly what we did lol! I was visiting him and we were about to file for a fiancee visa and he turned round after work one day and said "hey babe lets get married this weekend!" sure enough, that weekend we drove to texas and got married at a court house which is why we had to change it to a CR1 visa.

Wedding number one lol!

Yes i wore jeans to my wedding haha!

But we had a beautiful ceremony in England after that when i got home..

Would not change it for the world!

[slangofoil 50]

We got legally married, just the two of us, about a week after he arrived. We're having our "big" wedding on March 24th, about a year and a half after the legal marriage. At times I dunno why the heck we're doing this. I had warmed to the idea of never having a big wedding. I never really fantasized about my dream wedding or anything. But I do want the opportunity for our families to meet, and I do kinda want the big, fun day. I just don't give a shite about all the planning. Hassle! I still have so many details to work out. I'm sure I've made so many faux pas by now, because I just don't care about all this nonsense!

A lot fewer relatives and friends of his are coming over than we thought, so my husband's kind of disappointed.

[Justine+David 218]

also doing 2 weddings. the first within 1/2 weeks off arrival and then we will arrange a religious ceremony at a later date.

to get married in the catholic church you need to do 6 months of counsiling, also it gives my family more time to attend.

Yep, us too. We had to go on the marriage encounter retreat and so timed one of his visits to coincide, although that was a bit of a pain because instead of coming to D.C. he had to go all the way to Seattle because that's where my home parish was.

Wow, I still can't believe I did all of that. It was very much worth it, but wow, lots of planning and phone calls and hair pulling, as I had to do it all from the east coast. We spent about $10k which was David's savings from the years after he graduated from uni. So we didn't end up going into debt for it but I am a little sad that we had that much money that could have paid off so much debt. But yeah, very much worth it to be with all my family and friends and quite a few of David's as well.

[Rachel and Ryan 3]

Not planning on two weddings but if the visa stuff doesn't come through in time we might have to. But the other way round from what most of you are describing. Big ceremony/reception planned for April 9th, so hoping that will be the legal one also but if not we will do this as planned, and then when I come back after the interview/visa approval we will do a quickie city hall thing. These last few months have been very stressful but glad its all been lumped in to one big stress event! Didn't want to drag it out with planning a wedding for 6 months to a years time after arriving in the US.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Yep, us too. We had to go on the marriage encounter retreat and so timed one of his visits to coincide, although that was a bit of a pain because instead of coming to D.C. he had to go all the way to Seattle because that's where my home parish was.

Wow, I still can't believe I did all of that. It was very much worth it, but wow, lots of planning and phone calls and hair pulling, as I had to do it all from the east coast. We spent about $10k which was David's savings from the years after he graduated from uni. So we didn't end up going into debt for it but I am a little sad that we had that much money that could have paid off so much debt. But yeah, very much worth it to be with all my family and friends and quite a few of David's as well.

I think it comes down to money for most people.

[Victoria G 1]

I might be having 2 weddings! But in the reverse order. We were misinformed about how long the visa could actually take, and went ahead and booked the venue amongst other vendors for a wedding August 22nd. If my visa isnt done by then, the ceremony in August will be religious, and we'll get married later when I have my visa and it's legal!

[wee carrington 33]

Having been around awhile, I've seen a lot of bright-eyed UK fiancées telling their plans for the big wedding "later". Then later they decide the money is better spent on down payment for a house, a second car, etc or they are ready to move back to the UK because they hate it here.

Immigration just sucks the life out of some dreams.....................  

Absolutely! I feel so far behind the eight ball due to all this immigration sh*te it's unbelievable sometimes... but it is worth it and I do mean that.

Now to gear up for the in-law visits, they've never been to the US before... it will be, um, interesting....

[Vicky and Larry 27]

Not sure if this is the right place for this topic, but I've been having one of those days where i'm trying to think past the K1 process, and about all the excitement ahead, just to stay positive!

I wondered how many people ended up having 2 'weddings' - we've agreed to get legally married within a few days of me arriving in the US (New Orleans) on my K1, but we're just gonna go sign the papers with our with 2 close friends and then go to our favourite restaurant afterwards, all very low-key (i won't exactly be wearing jeans, but i won't be wearing a wedding dress either!). Then we'll have a proper celebration about a year after that, to allow all our friends and families time to book flights etc. Who did/is planning to do this, and who is just going all out to plan everything in the 3 months we've got to get married?!

I wish I had seen your posts or your profile before now...sigh....

I can relate to what you are saying and what I think I can read between the lines. One of the things I have learned the most through this process is that we all have a template of the expectations that we have unwittingly created over the years, especially so when it comes to such special events, like a wedding. And, not just any wedding, our OWN wedding. The K1 process quickly teaches you how those expectations can be more of a hindrance than a good thing. It took me time, and being very open and honest about my feelings, to come to terms with the fact that how I had imagined I would get married was not as important as the fact that I am getting married to my best-friend. Seriously, it took me some time to be at peace with that.

I have been here for 5 days now and we are due to get married a week from today. I am making it special in that I am still going to go out and buy a special dress and get my hair done the morning of the courthouse affair, which makes me feel like there is still some ritual or control I have over the day we 'officially and legally' get married. There are ways you can feel good about the day, it doesn't have to be 'all or nothing'. Now we are living together and that's where the real work begins

We have decided to have a reception in the summer and not have a BIG 2nd wedding - too much money.....so we will wear wedding outfits and just act like we just made it to the reception after the wedding. We are going to make that day about who we are and what coming together means to us, which won't involve lots and lots of money.

It's a month or so on since you posted this and I hope you are feeling better about that dynamic.

Edited February 29, 2012 by Vicky and Larry

[ukcharlotte 4]

We're hoping to be married in a courthouse late September (if the Visa is approved) but won't be having our wedding until after he has finished his schooling next July! And, to make this even more challenging, we won't be living together until after the July wedding because we want the full wedding experience. We are both committed Christians who have always been prepared to wait until after we are married to start our 'official' lives together, so none of the fun stuff until then.

We have been together 4.5 years already, what's another 1.5?

Oh, and I can't imagine not having my father give me away and the whole wedding day experience. It is something I have dreamt about for years and I am so excited to start planning in more detail!