maybe im an idiot

[meauxna 15]

Remember we've searched out the Russian women for her values but also for her strength and survivor skills the elude the American woman.

Why not make your case (and make it with more strength) by not indicting every American woman with the broad stoke of your brush?

I'd say American women are survivors, just survivors of different circumstances than Russian.

[travlnmannn 0]

Remember we've searched out the Russian women for her values but also for her strength and survivor skills the elude the American woman.

Why not make your case (and make it with more strength) by not indicting every American woman with the broad stoke of your brush?

I'd say American women are survivors, just survivors of different circumstances than Russian.

Ok let me re-phrase as a continuation to my quote. "The American women that I have encountered are lazy, self absorbed drama queens that have no sense of family values. Now I dont mean all American women. I'm only commenting on the women that I've encountered. Mind you I dont live in a small city either. I'm in the heart of Chicago. Thats the reason I have found myself looking outside of my beloved country for a woman with values and survivor skills. A woman that can still appreciate a man that will open the door for her but yet can still fend for herself in tough times. Many of the American women that I've encountered find it offensive when a man opens the door for them. As if they can't open the door for themselves. Just wish the American women could try keeping the cheeseburger and fries out of her mouth so I dont have to hear about how big her ### is getting."

Is that better Meauxna ?

And one more thing. American women in my eyes are survivors of the choice "Should I get the Mercedes or the Toyota...I'll take the Mercedes because I'm a woman and I deserve it" May the good Lord be with them when they have to make such hard choices.

Edited September 30, 2006 by travlnmannn

[Laveau 67]

absolom,

I am one of those russian ladies that you guys are all shopping for. Haha I am just kidding. I have read your post about laptop and your girl going to dating sites... I have an advice to you. Don't worry about it. She will be going to those sites until you will get married. And.. maybe even after... My husband is going to these sites (VJ too), even if we happily married for 2 years. So my point is you can't check her true love to you until she gets a green card or citizenship. Going to the sites does not say anything. Good luck.

Damn, the Russian forum just keeps getting better and better AND I have no life

[Ta Ta 1]

I can't believe that some say it is ok to go to dating sites and check out profiles when you

have a committed relationship, when you are engaged, even when married.

It is beyond me why someone is still interested in complete stranger's profiles when that time and energy

can be focused on other things to build a future as a couple.

One thing leads to another and profile browsing quickly can let to a harmless email and from there

to more.

I know because I divorced my ex for that reason, he had multiple "affairs" doing just that......browsing!

Don't be so gullible to excuse that behaviour, it is ridiculous to shop around in a relationship.

If one thinks he /she needs a backup plan or he/she may be missing out on a better partner then there is no way that person is ready for engagement or marriage and should stay single and shop until they drop!

I can't even imagine looking at other mens profiles , I love my fiance way too much to waste time

reading other mens likes and dislikes and look at pics.....who cares?

[PurrSuede 0]

PurrSuede I think this is why the American male gets screwed is what Satellite is talking about. When you go with a woman from another country you shouldnt be so nieve to think that they are stupid and will do whatever you want. Remember they have brains and they are survivors unlike their counterparts here in the states. Russian women are very smart.

Ohhhhh believe me, I don't doubt that for a minute... I lived with one for two years, remember?

I can't say that if I had lived with her for two years in Russia I would be even half as capable she was in a language that was not her own, or figure out a plan to take off on her own after only two years..

So buh-LEEVE me, there's nothing in my personal experience that thinks "they are stupid and will do whatever you want."

In fact, just -suggesting- to her that such-and-such might be a better way to accomplish something was usually looked at as my "telling her what to do", which was another huge issue we had... basically it seems like I knew sh*t-from-shinola and all her RW friends and beauty-salon friends knew everything about everything, but that's another story for another day...

In fact I remember an arguement almost on the day she was moving out of my house where I just said simply "well hell, you've never listened to me since day 1, why on earth would I possibly even think for one lousy moment that you would even start now?"

Next Russian woman you meet use your head thats on your shoulders not the one thats in your pants. Just my two cents. Dont take it the wrong way. Remember we've searched out the Russian women for her values but also for her strength and survivor skills the elude the American woman.

Trust me, after the last experience, it certainly was NOT a "lower brain" experience...

But this time, I'm hoping to avoid the " heetri " characteristic and not go into the relationship totally blinded by " love " either...

-- Dan

[William33 110]

I can't believe that some say it is ok to go to dating sites and check out profiles when you

have a committed relationship, when you are engaged, even when married.

It is beyond me why someone is still interested in complete stranger's profiles when that time and energy

can be focused on other things to build a future as a couple.

One thing leads to another and profile browsing quickly can let to a harmless email and from there

to more.

I know because I divorced my ex for that reason, he had multiple "affairs" doing just that......browsing!

Don't be so gullible to excuse that behaviour, it is ridiculous to shop around in a relationship.

If one thinks he /she needs a backup plan or he/she may be missing out on a better partner then there is no way that person is ready for engagement or marriage and should stay single and shop until they drop!

I can't even imagine looking at other mens profiles , I love my fiance way too much to waste time

reading other mens likes and dislikes and look at pics.....who cares?

"Shopping" while involved with someone, is relationship failure in the making. Only a fool would accept this as normal and appropriate.

[Oregonfiancee 0]

I visited my fiancee in Russia last month and left her my laptop so we could email one another.. I also use it for my work, and when I was working from there, the interent was just terrible and slow, almost unusable. To try and speed things up, I setup one of my own web servers as as proxy, which cashes files so you dont have to download the same things over and over to speed the throughput.. Now I've been back for a while, I go to my webserver to clear out the cache to make room for some new websites, and there are dating sites cached there she has been going to

So I ask her about it, and she's like 'i dont mail to them, I just look'.. And I'm supposed to think WHAT? I mean, this looks like I'm off to a wonderful start here.... NOT.... Is this really what russian women think is acceptable??

No, it is certainly not acceptable behavior. I understand how you feel. Did she give more explanation why she did that?

Sometimes after long time of search people can hardly stop looking at such dating sites. Sometimes it means nothing. But... that is not really nice. If it would happen with me I would be truly upset.

I think dallasguy gave great advice - check if she made her new profile on any of those sites and if she did then write to her profile under another name and see what happens.

I am sorry you have to deal with this and it makes you nervous. I wish you good luck!

Edited October 1, 2006 by Oregonfiancee

[meauxna 15]

Is that better Meauxna ?

And one more thing. American women in my eyes are survivors of the choice "Should I get the Mercedes or the Toyota...I'll take the Mercedes because I'm a woman and I deserve it" May the good Lord be with them when they have to make such hard choices.

Oh yes, I can see why you've had trouble with American women!

Best luck!

[travlnmannn 0]

Is that better Meauxna ?

And one more thing. American women in my eyes are survivors of the choice "Should I get the Mercedes or the Toyota...I'll take the Mercedes because I'm a woman and I deserve it" May the good Lord be with them when they have to make such hard choices.

Oh yes, I can see why you've had trouble with American women!

Best luck!

Your one of those cheeseburger eating American women huh ?

[meauxna 15]

Is that better Meauxna ?

And one more thing. American women in my eyes are survivors of the choice "Should I get the Mercedes or the Toyota...I'll take the Mercedes because I'm a woman and I deserve it" May the good Lord be with them when they have to make such hard choices.

Oh yes, I can see why you've had trouble with American women!

Best luck!

Your one of those cheeseburger eating American women huh ?

Naw.. I'm driving the Benz, of course!

[travlnmannn 0]

And I'm the small ####### BMW M3 driving American. Good luck in your "i'm old and fat and I need a cheeseburger" car.

BTW Meauxna or whatever you are. Nice Timeline. Glad you can be so instrumental to VJ.

Edited October 1, 2006 by travlnmannn

[Cam 0]

I visited my fiancee in Russia last month and left her my laptop so we could email one another.

She "chose" you, and is coming here to marry you.

Slim, how do you make this connection? As far as I see it, he claims she is her fiancee. He picked her out and came to visit her. He has posted no timeline nor has stated he is doing the K1 paperwork. For all we know she has used him for a free good time in Russia and a free laptop.

Once again I applaud the Russian lady for taking advantage of the gullible American who has all the advantages to begin with. Now with a laptop in hand she can find the man that better satisfies her needs. I see this lady similar to Cam. If he can meet 3 ladies at once, then this lady can invite 3 men at once. All fair game when you are shopping.

I'm meeting his fiance.

[slim 1,523]

I visited my fiancee in Russia last month and left her my laptop so we could email one another.

She "chose" you, and is coming here to marry you.

Slim, how do you make this connection? As far as I see it, he claims she is her fiancee. He picked her out and came to visit her. He has posted no timeline nor has stated he is doing the K1 paperwork. For all we know she has used him for a free good time in Russia and a free laptop.

Once again I applaud the Russian lady for taking advantage of the gullible American who has all the advantages to begin with. Now with a laptop in hand she can find the man that better satisfies her needs. I see this lady similar to Cam. If he can meet 3 ladies at once, then this lady can invite 3 men at once. All fair game when you are shopping.

I came to that conclusion because he said "my fiancee." That to me means that they are engaged to be married, or at least after selecting which girl he liked best from the website, and her subsequent "I do" which is most likely a "I guess I'll go ahead and say yes in hopes that you really will get me a visa to the U.S." that they are both hoping to someday be "married."

Since they don't know each other well enough to have 100% trust and faith in the entire process, (there are no guarantees until visa is in hand... and even then there still must be more to the process) they (or just her in this case) continue to "shop around" on websites to see if maybe someone a little better (or faster, or more willing, or more anything....) can be contacted.

I visited my fiancee in Russia last month and left her my laptop so we could email one another.

She "chose" you, and is coming here to marry you.

Slim, how do you make this connection? As far as I see it, he claims she is her fiancee. He picked her out and came to visit her. He has posted no timeline nor has stated he is doing the K1 paperwork. For all we know she has used him for a free good time in Russia and a free laptop.

Once again I applaud the Russian lady for taking advantage of the gullible American who has all the advantages to begin with. Now with a laptop in hand she can find the man that better satisfies her needs. I see this lady similar to Cam. If he can meet 3 ladies at once, then this lady can invite 3 men at once. All fair game when you are shopping.

I'm meeting his fiance.

This is really starting to be a funny thread. After everyone giving Cam $#!^ for meeting more than one girl, he finally got to strike back, and perfectly timed at that. Bravo Cam. Bravo.

In all seriousness though, guys, if you're not giving your girl daily updates and sending her money all the time and making life just too good to be true, she's going to always have in the back of her mind that you may just be stringing her along and may take forever to get her over to you, and maybe, just maybe, she'd be better off going with another guy. So, she'll keep browsing.

And ladies, we're guys. So if we can find a version of you that's a little better looking, a little younger, and a little more willing to take care of us.... we're going to. We might not, cause after all this, we really do love you, but in the back of our minds, the grass is always greener.

This is just human nature. We can't help but think things like this.... at first. But then, our minds and hearts and emotions and everything else takes over and if we're lucky, we find the one that's just right for us. Or, we concede and decide "That's it. There's no way I'm going to trade up from this one. Better take this deal while it's still on the table."

And that's how I do it. I'm going to shoot this situation straight. If you want all that puppy dogs and sunshine "but we really love each other and knew from the start that we were meant to be together, and I would never ever think about someone else like that and....." go to the K-1 forum. Cause right here, (and on all those "shopping" sites) that's the way we all think. Most people do it subconsciously, and deny that they're thinking about stuff like that. Russians (especially the ladies) don't seem to have a problem putting it out there.... and we shouldn't either.

Keep it real, everyone!

[CarolineM 0]

?? this thread is unbelievable..."Keep an eye on her?" What is she? a pet??

And Meauxna is one of the post contributing and helpful people here...you must be new.

[gimygirl 0]

And ladies, we're guys. So if we can find a version of you that's a little better looking, a little younger, and a little more willing to take care of us.... we're going to. We might not, cause after all this, we really do love you, but in the back of our minds, the grass is always greener.

This is just human nature. We can't help but think things like this.... at first. But then, our minds and hearts and emotions and everything else takes over and if we're lucky, we find the one that's just right for us. Or, we concede and decide "That's it. There's no way I'm going to trade up from this one. Better take this deal while it's still on the table."

sorry slim ... that's not human nature, although it's nice to finally see a man confront, openly admit and share his massive feelings of insecurity.