reputation

[Ron and Rhea 42]

I do not know Beth or Brandon, I assume this is Brandon? The only way people's opinions of you or your wife can do any damage is if you give them the power to affect you. If people love you, they will accept Beth, regardless if she is a Filipina, or has two heads, those that are opinionated will have their opinions be it now, or when they meet Beth in the future.

IOW, haters are going to hate, be it now or later.

So why worry what people think...it may just be my attitude, if you look at my pics, I obviously do not care what others think of me....if people are going to judge me so be it, their opinions have zero affect on me, I refuse to give anyone the power to control my feelings or thoughts.

Issues future problems please elaborate????just because I dont want people to prefab opinions before they meet her?

[Hank_ 9,174]

Yikes ur brutal Hank!!!

See it worked!! Brought him out ... now the saga continues

Still he needs to listen to his Asawa as there is a issue that's is upsetting her.

[MrsNelson 10]

If you and your spouse won't put each other first then who the heck will? Seriously I love my family, but they could take a flying leap if they didn't like my husband.

[Ron and Rhea 42]

Rather succinctly put MrsNelson...!

If you and your spouse won't put each other first then who the heck will? Seriously I love my family, but they could take a flying leap if they didn't like my husband.

[brian_n_phuong 193]

I agree, this needs to be closed and they need to talk on their own before this becomes a lynching or an episode of Jerry Springer...

Some people just enjoy water cooler gossip and dissecting other people's lives for their own entertainment. With the exception of a few sensible people that advised her (and her significant other) to communicate with each other and resolve the problem, most on here just want to fan the flames, chew ther popcorn, and enjoy the sideshow as these poor folk's relationship falls apart. It's really sad and pathetic.

Edited January 3, 2012 by brian_n_phuong

[Mark + Melissa 49]

my fiance dont want his family and church to know about our relationship. he said that he want everyone's respect. do u think this is reasonable? we are already married in our marriage tradition in the philippines.

I think what she's saying is they are married traditionally, but it is NOT counted as a civil (legal) union, and on records anywhere. If this is the case, then K1 is appropriate. If he doesn't want his church and family to know, then he is NOT serious about this relationship. Sorry - but cut your losses now

[Jubi & Tony 3]

My advise to you is EJECT EJECT EJECT

You have a big Red Flag facing you and dont let love blind you. Get out while you still can. It may be hard now but it will be harder when you discover the reality after you arrive here.

Could it be that he is still married here in the USA?

[stefan y karen 23]

thanks all. So amazing to know that many are concern and i appreciate everyone who comment. i understand how they feel about this post. i know if God joined two hearts for a great purpose no man can separate. God bless you all

This is very true! I think the folks who are slamming brandon are trying to protect beth, but you have to consider the multitude of facts:

1) This is a second marriage

2) The first one ended badly with him getting scammed

3) She is not from the US

4) This is a long-distance relationship

5) A lot of the communication happens on the Internet (which is "new fangled technology" to alot of older folks)

6) He lives in the South (IMO: this is a good thing, see below)

7) Comes from a traditional family and traditional church who CARE ABOUT HIM & WANT THE BEST FOR HIM

Based on these facts I think a certain level of deliberate consideration on how to introduce her to everyone is warranted. He wants to make sure that she doesn't get mis-labeled with the crimes of his ex, because he RECOGNIZES & REALIZES she is a different person and wants to make sure other recognize this too. Folks need to stop bashing the South because once his community meets Beth and falls in love with her like he has, they will embrace her and call her their own.

Brandon, I read your post where you said you wished you had met Beth first, but I have to disagree with you. It was God's will you met the ex first to teach you something (humility? reliance on Him? love is more important than $$$? I can't begin to guess His intentions, but no doubt there was a reason). Just be happy you met Beth now and love her, cherish her, and give her the respect she deserves. Stay strong and God bless both of you.

[Americangirl10 1]

This is very true! I think the folks who are slamming brandon are trying to protect beth, but you have to consider the multitude of facts:

1) This is a second marriage

2) The first one ended badly with him getting scammed

3) She is not from the US

4) This is a long-distance relationship

5) A lot of the communication happens on the Internet (which is "new fangled technology" to alot of older folks)

6) He lives in the South (IMO: this is a good thing, see below)

7) Comes from a traditional family and traditional church who CARE ABOUT HIM & WANT THE BEST FOR HIM

Based on these facts I think a certain level of deliberate consideration on how to introduce her to everyone is warranted. He wants to make sure that she doesn't get mis-labeled with the crimes of his ex, because he RECOGNIZES & REALIZES she is a different person and wants to make sure other recognize this too. Folks need to stop bashing the South because once his community meets Beth and falls in love with her like he has, they will embrace her and call her their own.

Brandon, I read your post where you said you wished you had met Beth first, but I have to disagree with you. It was God's will you met the ex first to teach you something (humility? reliance on Him? love is more important than $$$? I can't begin to guess His intentions, but no doubt there was a reason). Just be happy you met Beth now and love her, cherish her, and give her the respect she deserves. Stay strong and God bless both of you.

I agree with this post wholeheartedly. I am facing somewhat the same situation as Beth and Brandon. Its unfortunate that people will judge the situation(s) before knowing the whole story. While Brandon is trying to protect Beth, he is also mentally covering himself. No one wants to be reminded of the negative trauma that was dished out by the ex. Its bad enough he dealt with it. I know 1st hand (as I am in the South as well) that the judgement garment is worn heavily around here. Some people will never understand your GOOD intentions & that's fine. Look at the heat you're catching from the intial post of this situation, I can only imagine how shot your feelings and emotions would be if it were from family and friends whom you think should be supporting you instead of bashing you. Brandon, as long as your intentions are GOOD, continue to explain and reassure your wife of those GOOD intentions. Other than the stress of going through this whole process, you guys certainly don't need other distractions or tension.

[Hank_ 9,174]

The K-1 process is like a REALLY long walk down the aisle at the church, if you are worried about what folks are going to say about your Fiancee because of a bad past experience and think "keeping her a secret' will fix that you are soooooo wrong, "those people" are going to talk behind your back just the same, heck some have a pair and will say it to your face... only time will prove them wrong. So man-UP and let the world know you are a proud Fiance and if they can't deal with it tell them to go pound salt!

The rope is still handy!!

Yup I think you are only protecting your fragile little feelings from having to confront the nay-sayers right now.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

The rope is still handy!!

Perhaps it better have a noose at both ends.

Brandon,

IMO, I think you are being paranoid but... your paranoia might be justified. You already prove your susceptibility to a manipulative game playing con. It seems you may have found another manipulator to replace your first. (Based on your post) Your (OP) fiancee lied. Period. Did you know she was going to start this thread? or...was it a rogue action on her part? Why did she do this? Leverage? Power struggle? Anger?

I think you might want to keep her "under wraps" until A) She learns to keep family business ...family business and/or B) You have time to verify her...hmmmm...integrity / ethics coz...what I see...she lacking both.

Edited January 3, 2012 by Crashed~N2~Me

[Tahoma 2,291]

Yup I think you are only protecting your fragile little feelings from having to confront the nay-sayers right now.

^^^ That's exactly what's going on here.

Ironically, his fear will prevent him from finding out who his real friends are.

I got a kick out of the creative excuses for his behavior...including his excuse.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Just as " The Darren Turns" closes to a packed house a new feature opens!!

[sunandmoon 450]

Just as " The Darren Turns" closes to a packed house a new feature opens!!

there are a couple of minor episodes in other threads. he's probably working on a sequel. I'm sure he'll come up with Blockbuster.

[rlogan 2,036]

thanks all. So amazing to know that many are concern and i appreciate everyone who comment. i understand how they feel about this post. i know if God joined two hearts for a great purpose no man can separate. God bless you all

Must be beth. Who is not explaining much about ambushing the husband on visajourney for hurting her feelings about who he reports the marriage to. So this is the "Thank you, good-bye now" post I guess.

It is all about clear communication, and someone isn't doing that. Hard to tell how much the language issue is clouding things up, but it does seem to be a factor here.

But hey, with Darren closed down for now this is the best show in town.