i desperately need help. please

[Sfv23 0]

This, perhaps, is my second post and im asking for any help or opinion you guys can offer. Im married to a USC wife last february 2011 and got my GC october 2011. Things turned out not as good as we wanted between us due to of alot of issues. Right after i discovered her cheating on me, inviting guys over when im not around, pot and alcohol (not to mention my financial status became really bad after getting negative accounts all the time because of her) she abandoned me and would not wanna come back. i tried working things out with her many times, but she would just ignore me/hide from me all the time,mentioned divorce, and threatens me. because im defenseless coz im just the immigrant, ifeel trapped. This has been stressing me out so much and ruinign my life bit by bit. i dont have alot of friends here in the US i can talk too. nor anyone knows whats goin on.

My question is, whats gonna happen to me if she wont cooperate with me in filling the tax next year? as from what i understood, tax documents are, if not important, required when filing ROC (due june 2013). as i assess my situation, im thinking if i should just wait til june 2013 come, regardless if she cooperates and help me with the requirement and just explain it to the IO later on , but the fear that we might be called for an interview and she will just abandon me again? or divorce her now, and save my self at least. a friend mentioned something about the waiver that i can file. Supporting me are the negative account bank statements, pictures of alcohols at bottles of marijuana, saved emails and messages, doctor psych appointments. isnt this a form of mental/emotional abuse?

i appreciate any help. however, if youll just insist that this smells fishy or #######, id rather not you comment. i dont have time to explain myself and argue. thanks

[RebeccaAndPhil 5]

Tax transcripts aren't required for ROC but are used as good evidence of a continued marriage if filed jointly or under the same address.

If you do get a divorce before your due to file I-751 you'll need to file right away (even if it's before your 90 day window you'd usually file in). You can do this by filing the waiver your friend mentioned to you. Be sure to read the guides here on VJ as well as the instructions of the I-751 form. You'll need a divorce decree to send in with your application.

Either way, as long as you entered your marriage in good faith, your USC spouse can't get you kicked out of the country. They provide these waivers for people who are unable to file jointly for the I-751. You still have some time though so wait and see what happens in your relationship.

Edited December 10, 2011 by RebeccaAndPhil

[mike143 0]

all you need to do, file a divorce, when approved file a waiver to uscis, you dont need to wait 2013 to file an adjustment of status, you can file it right after your divorce approve. 2 yrs waiting are for those still married before green card expire.good luck

[Sfv23 0]

Thank you very much to both,of u. can somebody tell me what that waiver is about? is that the VAWA(?) ?? or somethng against violence against women? Sorry im really not,familiar with,immigration terms. Since i can say shes mentally and emotionally abusing me

[Leatherneck 693]

Are you dependent on your wife for financial support?

Are you making enough money to stand on your own feet?

If you are financially able to provide for yourself, why deal with her nonsense?

It's obvious she is not interested in being a wife. Get your own place and move away from her, then file for divorce.

You can do ROC (Removal of Conditions) without her.

Good luck!

[mr and mrs 187]

if you are done with the marriage (which it sounds like you are), then go ahead and file for divorce. she cannot threaten you with deportation unless there has been fraud. sounds like you need to move on. i am not familiar with the details of the divorce process and i believe it varies by state. educate yourself and/or get a lawyer.

as for your immigration status, as long as the marriage was entered into 'in good faith', it does not matter if it has not worked out. you can apply for ROC and a 10 year green card WITHOUT your wife. collect whatever evidence you can find that the instructions for the i-751 ask for. (tax returns, bills with both of your names on them, health insurance, photographs, affidavits, etc) even if your evidence is thin due to the deterioration of your relationship, you should be okay as long as the marriage was not entered in to for the sake of immigration.

if you can prove this to USCIS, then you should be able to retain your LPR status, be issued with a 10 year green card and move on with your life without the stress of your wife's maybe-not-so-great choices.

good luck to you and keep your chin up! you'll be okay!

[Sfv23 0]

No. I have a job and earn enough to support myself.,she doesnt. I dont financially rely on her,while she would,even ask me for a dollar to buy herself a gum. Thanks to all of you. i really appreciate you guys helping me. Being somebody who doesnt know anything about your immigration rules here, i thought i gotta suck everything up to save myself from somebody who tortures me. worse is my own wife. Its not,easy waking up not knowing what to do and feel helplesss coz im just an immigrant. You guys have no idea how there were times where i could not buy myself even $1 burger coz i would see -$300 -$400 in my account. My money i worked hard for all,went to her clothes,etc etc. when marriage gets shaky, u cannot complain if you dont wanna hear ”didnt i petition you?”

[mr and mrs 187]

you are not helpless! you just need to learn what your rights and responsibilities are as a conditional permanent resident.

and i agree that the support here on VJ is amazing. glad you came here for help! we are all pretty nice here in the ROC forum. (though i get grumpy once in awhile!)

glad you are standing on your own two feet! it will make the transition easier. please look out for yourself. make sure you have a bank account that only you have access to and make sure to get the documents you need to file.

[Sfv23 0]

Thanks thanks.yeah im trying to gather all possible evidences. At the same time, fix my finances coz with all the bills I pay for for us, id be lucky to find $100 in my account. It will still be a long sacrifice divorce alone wont just cost me just $100

Mr and mrs, let me know how i can make up to your being helpful to me. Thank u very,much

[Leatherneck 693]

Since you have the means to support yourself, you're in very good shape. The reason you feel helpless and put up with the mental and emotional abuse is you're unaware of your rights as the beneficiary.

You certainly do not have to put up with "didn't I petition you?"

As you've been advised, gather all of the necessary documents and proof you'll need later to prove you entered into the marriage 'in good faith.'

That way if you plan now, the filing of the I-751 will not send you into hyper panic mood. The proof you need is at your disposal now, gather it.

Your wife has made her decision, you need to worry about you now. I understand this is not a picnic for you and this is painful to know what she is doing with other men.

Go to the bank and open an account with only your name on it, now that you know you don't need her to ROC, cut her off. Please beware, things could get ugly real fast once you cut off the flow of money.

You've found a good site to get advice and help with your I-751 petiton.

Good luck!

[Sfv23 0]

Thanks thanks.yeah im trying to gather all possible evidences. At the same time, fix my finances coz with all the bills I pay for for us, id be lucky to find $100 in my account. It will still be a long sacrifice divorce alone wont just cost me just $100

Mr and mrs, let me know how i can make up to your being helpful to me. Thank u very,much

[mr and mrs 187]

just take care and breath deep.

your thanks have made me feel good.

GROUP HUG!!!

[Sfv23 0]

Wohow.. Thats good to hear..

[AmberOctober 25]

Just a thought. Maybe you could get a few letters from your neighbors while you still live together. Let them write that they've known you as a couple, etc. You may ask her parents to do so, too, but it may sound suspicious to them, who knows. Make sure to hide all the evidence docs you've been collecting, make copies and scans.

I really feel here for you. This is a terrible situation. I know how it feels not to have anyone else by your side.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Thank you very much to both,of u. can somebody tell me what that waiver is about? is that the VAWA(?) ?? or somethng against violence against women? Sorry im really not,familiar with,immigration terms. Since i can say shes mentally and emotionally abusing me

You are expected to file a joint petition to remove conditions. Both of you sign the form. If you are not able to do a joint petition, then you request a 'waiver' from doing a joint petition. The waiver request is actually printed right on the I-751 form so there is no separate form. You check off the request for a waiver from joint filing and then file on your own and only your own signature is required. There are several reasons given for why you are requesting the waiver. One of them involves violence or abuse, but you need to submit fairly detailed evidence including things like police reports for that one to be successful. (VAWA may or may not be involved in an abusive relationship but it can be - it stands for the "Violence Against Women Act"). Since you will be getting divorced, just use that category. If you get the divorce decree before you need to file, good; if not, you can still file without the divorce decree. USCIS would send you an RFE for the divorce decree. Getting to that stage will buy you more time, possibly enough for the divorce decree to arrive. If it doesn't arrive, you can respond that you are just waiting for the divorce to be finalized and ask them to keep the petition open until the divorce decree arrives and you are able to send it tothem.

As long as you entered the relationship in good faith you should be fine. While you are still married, collect now any evidence you have of your joint status - where the two of you are listed on the same documentation such as a lease, or insurance, or bank accounts or credit card accounts, loan documents, anything like that. This will show that you started your married life together as a couple and the marriage itself just didn't work out.

Good luck.

Edited December 11, 2011 by Kathryn41