No child as yet

[potter1 1]

Dear Members,

I have a bit of a silly question that requires firm advise.

I am the CPR, and my wife is a USC. Our marriage has not produced any children as yet. However she wants children, and I don't feel ready, for a number of reasons:[1)I have not attended college yet, and plan to. 2)My wife, in discussions with friends and family has planned to leave me in the past, taking away our joint assets, including house and car bought jointly. 3) My wife's daily discussions with her family and/or friends would include negative things about me, including she did not get the husband she had wanted, and what a bad person I am, with no good values.] The reason my wife wants children is because she thinks she is big in age (early 30's)and is thus pressuring me to have kids. I know all she wants is to get pregnant, then I am out the door, as she had discussed in the past that I have one more chance, one more chance of compliance. Yes, my marriage is based on how well I comply with my wife and do exactly as she says(her own words). So, my question is, am I wrong to refuse to have kids now? Would USCIS hold that against me? If she wants to divorce me based on me not wanting kids yet, will the USCIS hold that against me? I filed jointly for ROC in April and is still waiting. I will be grateful for your opinions/answers. Thank you.

[at long last 58]

Dear Members,

I have a bit of a silly question that requires firm advise.

I am the CPR, and my wife is a USC. Our marriage has not produced any children as yet. However she wants children, and I don't feel ready, for a number of reasons:[1)I have not attended college yet, and plan to. 2)My wife, in discussions with friends and family has planned to leave me in the past, taking away our joint assets, including house and car bought jointly. 3) My wife's daily discussions with her family and/or friends would include negative things about me, including she did not get the husband she had wanted, and what a bad person I am, with no good values.] The reason my wife wants children is because she thinks she is big in age (early 30's)and is thus pressuring me to have kids. I know all she wants is to get pregnant, then I am out the door, as she had discussed in the past that I have one more chance, one more chance of compliance. Yes, my marriage is based on how well I comply with my wife and do exactly as she says(her own words). So, my question is, am I wrong to refuse to have kids now? Would USCIS hold that against me? If she wants to divorce me based on me not wanting kids yet, will the USCIS hold that against me? I filed jointly for ROC in April and is still waiting. I will be grateful for your opinions/answers. Thank you.

It is only my opinion but I don't really think USCIS gets involved in the dynamics of your marriage.If all she wanted was a child there are ways to achieve this. Blackmail is never a good sign in a marriage. Think VERY carefully before adding another life in this world. It should be (in an ideal situation) a mutual decision. Do not be bullied in this issue.

[CDN2US 10]

Wow, I have no idea what it would be like to be in situation.

If your wife thinks you're such a no-good person, why does she want you to share a bed with her, much less share in creating an entire person whose existence would be created from chaos and borne into a state of disrepair?

No, you're not wrong to not want kids now. Having kids is just one way to demonstrate to USCIS that your ROC petition stems from a bona-fide marriage, but you've already filed that petition, right?

Too bad there's no male hormonal birth control that you could take to prevent pregnancy...your wife sounds crazy.

[souleymon 27]

No USCIS wont hold that against u.have u tried to talk to u wife abt what u want,it is normal for her to want kid at her age,but i stand to be corrected on how that will affect ur dreams.

Are u the only working...isnt she?,for financially support.kids can be a good sign of blessing,as its acknowledged in Africa (More kids,More Wealth-that was back then,lol)

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Dear Members,

I have a bit of a silly question that requires firm advise.

I am the CPR, and my wife is a USC. Our marriage has not produced any children as yet. However she wants children, and I don't feel ready, for a number of reasons:[1)I have not attended college yet, and plan to. 2)My wife, in discussions with friends and family has planned to leave me in the past, taking away our joint assets, including house and car bought jointly. 3) My wife's daily discussions with her family and/or friends would include negative things about me, including she did not get the husband she had wanted, and what a bad person I am, with no good values.] The reason my wife wants children is because she thinks she is big in age (early 30's)and is thus pressuring me to have kids. I know all she wants is to get pregnant, then I am out the door, as she had discussed in the past that I have one more chance, one more chance of compliance. Yes, my marriage is based on how well I comply with my wife and do exactly as she says(her own words). So, my question is, am I wrong to refuse to have kids now? Would USCIS hold that against me? If she wants to divorce me based on me not wanting kids yet, will the USCIS hold that against me? I filed jointly for ROC in April and is still waiting. I will be grateful for your opinions/answers. Thank you.

USCIS does not care about children and threatened divorce.

If my wife did not think I was the man she wanted or said bad things about me to her family I would leave post-haste. Like, within the hour. You do what you want.

Edited November 30, 2011 by Gary and Alla

[potter1 1]

I thank you all for your responses. Yes she is a bit coo-coo. Whatever she discusses with friends and family, she talks it over to herself loudly if she knows I am not around. My jobs involves driving to different county buildings, so, if I pass my home, I would stop by. All I need to do, is stop my car a little from the house, walk up to the front door, and listen. I can hear how she gets on. Sometimes, I would go in, and look around to see if there is actually anyone there that she is quarreling with, or complaining to. Throughout our marriage, she sees the money I work for as hers. We do send both of our salary through our joint account. If I spend a small amount of money on myself for clothing, it's a problem. She would complain to her mother how I am wasting HER money. Hence the reason why she always block my atttempt to go to college. Seeing that the USCIS wants proof of joint financial co-mingling, can I put half of my money into our joint account for bills, expences etc, and the other half into a personal account for the purposes of college fees, my clothing and personal expences? Would this raise a red flag in the event of a RFE or interview? Also, the bills and mortgage are in her name. However they are electronically withdrawn from our joint bank account. Would this raise red flag? I really appreciate your responses.