RUBbette Wives & Housework, si man

[Brad and Vika 129]

You know the drill Brad. There is nothing good that could come of it for you, you would be guilty of something!

Exactly. Any way you slice it. The better part of valor and all...

[TBoneTX 44,791]

Alla never uses a vacuum cleaner and would never allow a cleaning lady to use one. She gives me this... ...if he sees me take the one we have out of the garage (it is OK for cleaning cars, not for the house) It would be a nightmare for a cleaning lady I am sure. She cleans by sweeping and then by wiping everything with a damp fabric, top to bottom, baseboards, floor, window ledges, furniture, every surface. No chemicals, just water and a damp cloth. She will use a sponge mop for the middle of the floor. All furniture gets pulled out and cleaned behind and under...twice per week is the goal, once per week is reality. There is no carpet in this house, only a few small rugs here and there only in the parts of the house the animals are not allowed, and they get taken out and beaten with a broom winter and summer. Animals are allowed only in the first floor or basement and not in Alla's study/office. All floors are hardwood or ceramic and she would not move into this house until I took ALL the carpet out. She would also accept vinyl floors but I do not like vinyl. It HAS to be easy to clean and cannot be of material that will hold dirt.

There's an uneasy truce between Mrs. T-B. and Daffodil the Cat. Anything that the cat does is "cochino" (disgusting), but anything that the human beings do is tolerated until someone is bitten by the "cleaning-bug." Also, there's nothing more jaw-dropping than to observe a really good Mexican cleaning crew in action, si man... er, no man... er...

[Brad and Vika 129]

Thanks God we have no animals to mess with.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Thanks God we have no animals to mess with.

Yeah, someday someone is going to have to explain to me the dynamics of a woman that is borderline OC about cleaning yet gets a dog AND a cat and not ANY dog or cat but a long haired Pekinese and a long haired Persian that are both shedding constantly. I mean, what, she couldn't get a beagle and a tabby cat?

I am beginning to think it is a "cover" for being OC about cleaning "I have to...look at all this animal hair!!"

Thank God she never wanted to be a fireman.

Edited December 14, 2011 by Gary and Alla

[TBoneTX 44,791]

Well, tabbies shed, too, si man. I've always wondered how English sheepdog can si, man, with all that hair in their eyes.

It IS an excuse for cleaning, with the distinct exception of the litterbox ("she's YOUR cat; YOU clean it!").

Whenever Mrs. T-B. sets something afire in the kitchen, I ask her to turn on the exhaust-fan, and I say "Uno sero dos" ("102," the emergency number for the firemen in Ecuador).

Funny: This morn, Daffodil the Cat looked at her water bowl, then at me as if to say "There's a cat hair in my water. How can I POSSIBLY be expected to drink this?"

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Well, tabbies shed, too, si man. I've always wondered how English sheepdog can si, man, with all that hair in their eyes.

It IS an excuse for cleaning, with the distinct exception of the litterbox ("she's YOUR cat; YOU clean it!").

Whenever Mrs. T-B. sets something afire in the kitchen, I ask her to turn on the exhaust-fan, and I say "Uno sero dos" ("102," the emergency number for the firemen in Ecuador).

Funny: This morn, Daffodil the Cat looked at her water bowl, then at me as if to say "There's a cat hair in my water. How can I POSSIBLY be expected to drink this?"

Alla uses the smoke alarm as an oven timer. Just kidding, she is a good cook.

Yeah, the litter box is a man's job. The cat's "toilet" is in the basement laundry room along with her water and food. The dog does not go down to the basement so it is safe.

[Derek & Rita 6]

Yeah, someday someone is going to have to explain to me the dynamics of a woman that is borderline OC about cleaning yet gets a dog AND a cat and not ANY dog or cat but a long haired Pekinese and a long haired Persian that are both shedding constantly. I mean, what, she couldn't get a beagle and a tabby cat?

I am beginning to think it is a "cover" for being OC about cleaning "I have to...look at all this animal hair!!"

Thank God she never wanted to be a fireman.

Well, the perfect kind of dog for a 'clean' house is a poodle, since they don't shed. As for a cat, you'll need a Sphynx.

[visaveteran1 33]

Well, the perfect kind of dog for a 'clean' house is a poodle, since they don't shed. As for a cat, you'll need a Sphynx.

Shedding is one issue...sh!tting is another. Following an animal around until it sh!ts and then pick it up with your hands...wow. Human evolution has taken an interesting turn.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Shedding is one issue...sh!tting is another. Following an animal around until it sh!ts and then pick it up with your hands...wow. Human evolution has taken an interesting turn.

Thats funny.

[TBoneTX 44,791]

One needs an electronic litterbox, si man. Mucho less gross than multiple scoopings daily, see man.

Regarding poodles: The first joke (of sorts) that I was ever able to crack in Spanish came during our visit to Mrs. T-B.'s northern relatives in Quito. They had a poodle, or a mix of a poodle + something. Mrs. T-B. was elsewhere in the house, socializing as usual, while her younger upper-teenage female cousins viewed moi, the "monster gringo," with curiosity. The dog came in; I pointed to it and said "Pelo misma mi esposa" ("hair like that of my wife"), and, for added comprehension, I twirled my finger in a curlicue.

Instead of looking alarmed and urgently pointing me toward the nearest bathroom, the cousins somehow understood, and giggled loudly.

In Ecuador, I wouldn't be surprised if every animal, and some people too, weren't a mix of themselves + a dog or a rooster. The top three population segments are dogs, roosters, and people, in that order, si man.

However, I've not yet seen any Centaurs, meaning that no one (to my knowledge) has overtly copulated with a goat, no man.

[Ban Hammer 13,141]

Well, the perfect kind of dog for a 'clean' house is a poodle, since they don't shed. As for a cat, you'll need a Sphynx.

i disagree - the best dog for a clean house is this one

link

eta: great with children too!

Edited December 18, 2011 by charles!

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

i disagree - the best dog for a clean house is this one

link

eta: great with children too!

lol...no food, no water and no maintenance other than a few batteries.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

lol...no food, no water and no maintenance other than a few batteries.

Are we still talking about dogs?

[TBoneTX 44,791]

Are we still talking about dogs?

If that's the, uh, vibe that you're getting, si man.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

If that's the, uh, vibe that you're getting, si man.

Now we are talking about vibes! OMG

Here is a housework related one.

Alla sends me out to the store just moments ago..needs bread and corn and few other things. we have a 24 hour grocery just up the street, easy walking distance but it is cold so I drive. She is up late cooking, another "Alla trait" Start cooking at 10 pm.

I select the best loaf of bread (real bread) available. when I get home I get the bread lecture. "It is not fresh, you have to squeeze them, squeeze this it is not fresh!"

Alla,

"What?"

Where did you buy fresh bread in Ukraine at 10pm on Sunday night?

"shell up"

Shell up?

"yes, shell up"

You mean "shut up"

"No, that is rude talk, shell up"

What is shell up?

"You know, that animal from the sea... you like to eat that soup"

Clam chowder

"Yes"

WHAT???????

"Clam up!"

How are we supposed to have an argument when we are both laughing????????