What steps do you and your fiance/e take to manage the distance?

[qwerty1974 11]

Sometimes it amazes me the lengths that we'll all go to to keep feeling close to our absent partners in this pretty daunting and lengthy bureaucratic process. It's maybe a daft forum topic but I think its heartening to see (where I have here and there) the little allusions to the lengths people will go to to support and be there for one another, countering distance and time discrepancies. I would love, so close to the end of this process, to hear from you other VJers about how you have experienced these efforts and often 'sacrifices' to maintain love over this distance. One person I noted had even given up work and was supported by her partner so she could essentially 'be at home' for when he clocked off work....so sweet! If you feel like sharing how you manage it, I'd love to hear!!

[the_smallprint 0]

I was in Australia (I know this is the UK forum but hey, we have the Queen on our money, it kinda counts )and he was in the US, so our times were pretty much opposite. He ended up working nights though, so we changed our schedules so we would go to sleep at the same time and we would leave Skype running all night on our laptops. It was very comforting, waking up in the middle of the night and seeing him there. And we'd be each other's alarm clocks if we saw the other was going to sleep in. Before he changed to nights, he was barely sleeping as he stayed awake at all hours of the night talking to me.

Then of course, there was the $2,000 flights (and 24 hour plan rides/layovers) which we managed three times in a year, the large phone bills at first before we figured out cheap ways of calling long distance, and the care packages. I actually missed my flight back home the second time I visited him last year as we couldn't tear ourselves away from each other - that extra night we got was amazing.

The main thing, which made the time go faster, was first counting down the days until our visits, and then the eventual end date.

[Chris921 13]

I worked nights so i would be on the same schedule as her, and all the time i was home i had skype on, so we would talk pretty much all day every day, and visitng her every 3-5 months helped too!

[qwerty1974 11]

@The Smallprint...having the queens head on your coinage certainly DOES count!! lol

Thank you guys for sharing your experience of it. It really does change so many facets of your life, ones you wouldn't have even anticipated. I routinely find myself indulging in six hour long Skype calls. Not usually in the week as I ve children and he works long hours (the USC) but w/e's seem to be given over to this new ability of mine to stay up all through a night, grab two hours at the end of it and STILL be fully functional the following day!! I hadn't thought of leavong skype open but that feeling of immediate availability IS appealing. I find aswell that though its been years since indulging anything close to routinely letter wrtiing, now I look forward to penning long missives...I pity him given the scrawl of my penmanship!

It's just so lovely in amidst the waiting and the form filling to concentrate on WHY we do this

[Tina&Kieron 1]

We literally have lived our lives on skype, since April of this year we have been sleeping with skype on all night. We sleep on each other schedule, he stays up till almost 2am to be with me and I go to sleep early (lol I like to go to bed early anyways). I wake at 2:30am to say goodbye to him before he is off to work for the day. I truly believe people who have not gone through this would not understand living your life via skype. ~TINA

[MrsP2010 20]

Skype about 29 hours a day, Whatsapp on our phones (free text messaging), we do movie night with wine on the weekends and play iSketch, we write letters and send recorded voice messages to listen to at work, but the one thing we can't do is the visits. I overstayed by 4 months so I can't use VWP anymore, and we've got no money to pay for flights - we barely scraped together the money for the visa. It's heartbreaking, 8 months and counting since I last held him and cuddled him. Now there's one month left to go and I'm so excited that we'll finally be together properly soon. I've cried myself dry missing him

[qwerty1974 11]

@MrsP2010 that is sooo cute. I hope and pray this coming month will go really realy quickly and you'll be able to have date night with the dvd but this time using just the ONE screen!!

[MrsP2010 20]

@MrsP2010 that is sooo cute. I hope and pray this coming month will go really realy quickly and you'll be able to have date night with the dvd but this time using just the ONE screen!!

Thank you - I hope you too are reunited quickly

[Robert&Karen 264]

Skype, Google phone (2 cent a minute phone calls to the UK form a cell phone), emails, letters, and looking at the moon at the same time together.

[wee carrington 33]

Skype, Google phone (2 cent a minute phone calls to the UK form a cell phone), emails, letters, and looking at the moon at the same time together.

AOS Journey begun then!

[MrsP2010 20]

AOS Journey begun then!

I don't get it - I thought AOS after K1 could happen together in same country...

[wee carrington 33]

I don't get it - I thought AOS after K1 could happen together in same country...

No, no, no!! I was just acknowledging that Robert & Karen had started the 2nd step

Did you think I meant we had stared AOS?

Edited December 1, 2011 by Mrs GH