help with mama

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Admitedly some of his posts were alarming

Which explains why some have responded in "alarming" manner.

not everyone here is a world class writer.. Darren may have communication issues, but it's insane how he's tried to clarify his posts numerous times, and people continue to bash him and nit-pik his comments to twist it around and show how he could be a freak of some kind...

I don't think Darren has "communication issues". I think Darren has (at best) thought process issues (exposed via his written communication) and may be (please note.. I wrote...may be) at worst...1) a manipulative control freak that 2) entered into a financial "agreement" to trade a boat for a wife. All the time knowing that 3) he was pulling a bait and switch. To help disguise his plan he 4) Plays up his self righteous indignation by claiming he is a victim which simultaneously 5) justifies breaking the deal and cutting off the money flow. (and) 6) Leverages his young fiancee with guilt and fear that he might not go through with the wedding if she does not submit and "buy in" to his thinking.

It's good to see through the communication problem and attempt to isolate the issue

You expose your naivete regarding Fil-Am relationships. Introduction thru courtship to marriage and financial support. You are not qualified to contribute because you do not understand why Fil-Am VJ's are reacting to Darren in the manner they are and have.

but thank god for the internet..It lets you bash people without fear of getting clocked....

Bingo!! Thank God people can give Darren frank advice to help him and his fiancee.

Rather than try and understand that he may have challenges expressing himself, you quickly take every little comment he makes and find a way to critique it to show how screwed up he is, instead of understanding the point of his posts..

I don't think you have read all of this thread. The more Darren explains his true meaning the more he exposes his desire to control.

Un-flippin-believable...

What is un-flippin-believable...Darren is surprised and "teed off" about the way money is / was being spent by MIL. (but) You don't get that... do you?

It's obvious why ranchers take care of their cattle. (but) The cattle only figure it out the day they are hoisted for slaughter.

Edited October 8, 2011 by Crashed~N2~Me

[kennym 275]

I don't feel attacked.

I do, however, feel alittle sorry for you because you are posting on a topic you clearly have not read , and can't see that what you are posting is so hypocritical and self serving, it's making you look silly.

Self Serving, Doubtful.. I know you're attempts to discredit me is appealing to the springer fans, but not working for me..

There is nothing self serving about exposing bullies.. Good try though.. however ridiculous attempt it is..

I have read the entire thread.. took me a couple of hours, but I read every single posts before making any comments, and what I get out of this is very diferent than you.. And the reason is, I am not seeking a reason to create drama.. I see the same bored clan attacking people over and over, and I am making it my agenda to expose that..

I cant stand maury povich for the same reason, it is simply garbage and a room full of immmature people jumping to conclusions after conclusions for the benefit of getting some satisfaction of furthering feeling that they are better than the rest of the world..

You cant seem to get that satisfaction from your life, so you find a internet forum to create that for you.. And then you use the protection of the internet to accuse someone of control, abuse, or whatever to make yourself feel better about your pointless lives..

Again, answer the quesstion.. for those who think that; jumping to conclusions and accusing someone of robbing the craddle or controlling their SO, or whatever, how does it help? How do you or rebecca, or those bashing the OP propose to help the 19 year old wife or the supposedly screwed up OP?I've asked the question 3 times, and nobody has addressed it.. Why? Because you guys dont really care about helping anybody.. you simply love to bash on people because you have concluded they are bad.. without considering any of the explainations offered for the statements made, you have made your conclusion and now you propose to fix the OP or solve the 19 yo's problem by beating up on the OP?

I am anxiously waiting to hear how this is going to help anyone...

Common, anita, rebecca, tmma, Crashed~N2~Me, how does your bashing help anything..

There are ways to offer constructive advice, but that isnt happening here, it is a assualt on the OP and anyone who attempts to say wait a minute, lets help in a constuctive way...

The reason is, because you arent entertained unless you gang up on someone..

go ahead, answer the question...I doubt you can...

Edited October 8, 2011 by kennym

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Do you have reading comprehension difficulties? (or) are you in the mood to troll?

I'm guessing troll.

[kennym 275]

It's obvious why ranchers take care of their cattle. (but) The cattle only figure it out the day they are hoisted for slaughter.

What I dont get is; now that you have concluded that Darren is bad, is the bashing for the fun of it? or is something constructive going to come from it?

Waiting for an answer..

come'n man, You guys are letting me down...

I am starting to feel like you have no agenda except to bash on people...

Do you have reading comprehension difficulties? (or) are you in the mood to troll?

I'm guessing troll.

Guys, insulting me is more evidense you have no agenda except to be abusive...

But this is good, your exposing yourselves...

Edited October 8, 2011 by kennym

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Because Darren says Gretchen is reading the thread, it might give her some food for thought if she reads what other people think.

There you go again... Inventing something you know nothing about and trying to make it about something rightous.. It's very possible Darren has issues, but again your assumptions, because you love the drama, is that his comments are literal and you wanna make yourself look like the VJ Saviour... Because if he has communcations issues, and all his statements can be atributed to his inabilty to express himself properly, then all the drama dispappears.. and that would be no fun you.. huh.. you'd have to go back to your boring life today and wait for the next opporitunity to creat drama,,,

And god knows you're good and creating reasons to have drama..

God knows I am not the VJ savior.

But then neither are you, Kenny.

Knock off stalking me around the forums and via PM or I will report you.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Waiting for an answer..

You don't want an answer.

Every time someone tries to explain to you why they say what they say, you have a reason why that's not good enough.

Truth is it's not good enough for you.

And that makes you no different than everyone else you are labeling.

[kennym 275]

Rebecca, another Non Answer..

Are you saying you dont really intend to provide any guidance for the 19yo which you claim to care soo deeply about?

Or Is that because you dont have an answer?

Or more likely, is it's more fun to beat up on the OP than to make this a constructive discussion?

Edited October 8, 2011 by kennym

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Now I have just reported you for stalking me in the upper forums, where I make every attempt to play as nice as possible.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/332856-england-to-usa-k-1-visa/page__view__findpost__p__4941986

Take it elsewhere Kenny. You have issues.

Rebecca, another Non Answer..

Are you saying you dont really intend to provide any guidance for the 19yo you calaim to care soo deeply about?

Or Is that because you dont have an answer..

I gave you an answer.

Cue up your reading comprehension skills.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

What I dont get is; now that you have concluded that Darren is bad, is the bashing for the fun of it? or is something constructive going to come from it?

Waiting for an answer..

come'n man, You guys are letting me down...

I am starting to feel like you have no agenda except to bash on people...

Guys, insulting me is more evidense you have no agenda except to be abusive...

But this is good, your exposing yourselves...

1) See post #177.

2) Were you ever spanked as a child? Ever reprimanded by your wife or anybody?

3) Your trolling is being exposed.

Darren asked for "input". He got it.

Edited October 8, 2011 by Crashed~N2~Me

[kennym 275]

Because Darren says Gretchen is reading the thread, it might give her some food for thought if she reads what other people think.

God knows I am not the VJ savior.

But then neither are you, Kenny.

Knock off stalking me around the forums and via PM or I will report you.

Stalking on forums, that is funny,, you just seem to be the main offender and your upset because someone is exposing you..

How hilarious...

Edited October 8, 2011 by kennym

[Loolie 56]

when you GIVE something to someone, it is her choice and right to do with it as she pleases. Perhaps the issue is that he was too busy playing big shot to actually find out how much she NEEDED. Instead of blaming everyone for not telling him it was 'too much', he should have been more financially responsible and sent less.

I don't care if it's only $20 til pay day. An adult man with child obligations, and a new foreign bride needs to be more financially responsible.

Just like you said the foriegn bride should be financially responsible too. thats why its not just darren's fault but also gretchen. Darren was supporting her so they can talk online thats the main thing thats why he was supporting her. why darren didnt know he was sending too much maybe bcoz gretchen didnt tell him his sending too much, maybe gretchen didnt think that he has bills to pay too... Etc... instead she just spent the mOney and didnt cOntrol her family in asking money from her. my hubby was supporting me too but i always tell him just send me how much you can afford and of course family demands is a common thing but i always tell my family that my husband was working hard for the money that he was sending me. thats why i said its both thier fault why they have issues like this.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Stalking on forums, that is funny,, you just seem to be the main offender and your upset because someone is exposing you..

How hilarious...

When you follow me up to the K1 forums and get into a thread about moving from the UK to the US, then yes I consider that stalking.

[kennym 275]

1) See post #177.

2) Were you ever spanked as a child? Ever reprimanded by your wife or anybody?

3) Your trolling is being exposed.

Darren asked for "input". He got it.

The only thing being exposed is how you guys have no agenda but to make acusations and cynical comments to people who you claim to want to help.. your post 177 is full of those cynical comments...

Not a single constructive comment given in that post..

I don't need to know a thing about PI to realize when people are being bullies..

When you follow me up to the K1 forums and get into a thread about moving from the UK to the US, then yes I consider that stalking.

The comment was a general one.. about experiences I have had about living in diferent places.. we all have a right to make comments.. Grow up Rebecca.. Seriously,

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

The only thing being exposed is how you guys have no agenda but to make acusations and cynical comments to people who you claim to want to help.. your post 177 is full of those cynical comments...

Not a single constructive comment given in that post..

I don't need to know a thing about PI to realize when people are being bullies..

OMG....really who appointed you the Forum God?

I told you in PM that people who have read these boards for years know a bad situation when they see one. Why do you consider that bullying?

The comment was a general one.. about experiences I have had about living in diferent places.. we all have a right to make comments.. Grow up Rebecca.. Seriously,

And the comments I made in that thread were specific to the OP's questions.

I have a right to make comments about something I know about also.

You grow up also.

[Loolie 56]

Plus just my guess... Maybe gretchen ran out of mOney so fast that darren thought maybe his not sending enough thats why he send more money and later he found out that he was sending too much already when he learned about how much everything cost.