What did I do wrong?

[Arrta 1]

a

Edited July 20, 2011 by Arrta

[Fandango 1,439]

Arrta, do you see a bigger picture than just this isolated fight?

eta: I read your post pre-edit

Edited July 20, 2011 by Anita Cocktail

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Wow, Marc. It sounds like you've reached your boiling point. You should vent and you have the right to seek advice from others, but IMO, this is probably not the best avenue on a message board. Try not to keep score with regard to monetary contribution. IMO, that's never fair nor accurate. In a healthy marriage, it's never your money and her money. Take this time away from her and do some self reflecting. Be open to the reality that maybe you two just aren't compatible, or if you are - figure out why you live such separate lives.

Edited July 20, 2011 by DFH

[Dan and Judy 614]

take away her crutches

[one...two...tree 2,762]

take away her crutches

That's profound.

[Dan and Judy 614]

My wife can't stop laughing!

The man is the boss. Dad runs the house with a leather belt, the bamboo slab, and the rice sack. Give him any guff, he slap you on the side of the head. That is why retreat and sulking is the only means of protest the wife, or daughter has. If she is throwing things now, she will pay for it later, when hubby sobers up.

Now, the wife is grinning like a Cheshire cat.

I'm curious about the rice sack. does he put it over their heads? Or he just dosn't let them get any rice out of it?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I'm curious about the rice sack. does he put it over their heads? Or he just dosn't let them get any rice out of it?

When a child got out of hand, dad would put the wee one in the 50-Kilo rice sack, and hang the sack on the coat hook on the back of the door.

[honey_me 7]

My wife can't stop laughing!

The man is the boss. Dad runs the house with a leather belt, the bamboo slab, and the rice sack. Give him any guff, he slap you on the side of the head. That is why retreat and sulking is the only means of protest the wife, or daughter has. If she is throwing things now, she will pay for it later, when hubby sobers up.

Now, the wife is grinning like a Cheshire cat.

That reminds me of a neighbor who would spit outside his house, send his wife to the market and tell her to be back before it dries out. It's just as sick as my cousin (whose dad was "the boss"), beats her husband. That is also mostly true(partly why I never dated a Filipino). Although, I can never understand it as I am one of those who lives in the ideal world thinking, there is such a thing as equality and whose prerequisite in getting married is a guy who treats me what I deserved as a person and do the same, otherwise there will be no marriage. Thus, making it different from what I've seen.

Might also note, the italicized is no fun. It takes away the joy of childhood.

[gretchen_darren 67]

spare the rod and spoil the child...... what good does that do?????? I think Some countries are seeing the results already....Besides, it lets you know you ARE loved. Childhood is fun, but it is also a time for learning. How to be responsible as an adult with your place in society. Not everyone is raised the same. You choose whether or not to live in that society. If you can't take it, move. Otherwise if you choose to live in that society, don't complain... just move along, move along.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

spare the rod and spoil the child...... what good does that do?????? I think Some countries are seeing the results already....Besides, it lets you know you ARE loved. Childhood is fun, but it is also a time for learning. How to be responsible as an adult with your place in society. Not everyone is raised the same. You choose whether or not to live in that society. If you can't take it, move. Otherwise if you choose to live in that society, don't complain... just move along, move along.

Darren, are you in favor of hanging a child in a rice sack and beating him with a bamboo stick as an acceptable form of punishment?

That reminds me of a neighbor who would spit outside his house, send his wife to the market and tell her to be back before it dries out. It's just as sick as my cousin (whose dad was "the boss"), beats her husband. That is also mostly true(partly why I never dated a Filipino). Although, I can never understand it as I am one of those who lives in the ideal world thinking, there is such a thing as equality and whose prerequisite in getting married is a guy who treats me what I deserved as a person and do the same, otherwise there will be no marriage. Thus, making it different from what I've seen.

Might also note, the italicized is no fun. It takes away the joy of childhood.

It's always good to hear from Filipinas on these matters.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

you need to grow a pair of balls and help her get what she wants!!!!!

put her out in the cold, cut her off monetarily, pack her bags!!!!!!

maybe she will get the point or maybe she wont.

if she thinks she has it bad here then send her azz home!!!

Nice.

[renecherubs 18]

I don't do that, so it's new to me. I value things way too much to throw something valuable.. I have however, done one of things the OP said his wife did. The one time we had a huge fight, I took our car and left. We had been living with my in-laws and I felt so trapped that I really needed to just get away. In my haste, I left my intl license and phone at home. Hence, I was scared, irrational and freaking out that I would get caught. All I did was drive to Coldstone and get us some ice cream. I went home in tears, handed the keys and ice cream to my husband, and all he told me was "Please don't do that again." We were okay after that. Ahhhh fun times.

i eat ice cream too, when i'm hurt and angry. and i look ridiculous cause, i would cry sooo hard my nose will be soooo red,redder than rednose reindeer and a runny nose which is really yucky. hehehe. but eating ice cream does makes me calm down. don't like throwing things, it makes me more miserable cause i feel guilty afterwards. but i become frank when i'm on a fit. and that's all. i feel better when the one i'm angry at will say sorry. cause i say sorry too eventhough i think it's not my fault. sometimes we always think we're not partly to be blamed. but who knows. so, i always say sorry.

[renecherubs 18]

Darren, are you in favor of hanging a child in a rice sack and beating him with a bamboo stick as an acceptable form of punishment?

It's always good to hear from Filipinas on these matters.

i don't know if this is still applicable of today's filipino society. i heard about things like this happen maybe a couple of times but doesn't know anyone who had the experience. and i'm a full bloodied filipina who lives in my beloved third world country and living a very isolated island, very provincial.

we're poor but never ask money from anyone,including my fiance, not a cent from him. i never saw my dad spits nor experienced being hurt by him on any sort. he is a very gentle man who always love to serve us (my mom and us, the children). he never shouted at us.

my mom and dad are both retired teachers. they provided for us, sent us all (all 5 siblings) to reputable schools/universities of the country and became all professionals. we're still poor for we are not businessmen and are just ordinary government workers. but we are God-fearing and law abiding citizens.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

i don't know if this is still applicable of today's filipino society. i heard about things like this happen maybe a couple of times but doesn't know anyone who had the experience. and i'm a full bloodied filipina who lives in my beloved third world country and living a very isolated island, very provincial.

we're poor but never ask money from anyone,including my fiance, not a cent from him. i never saw my dad spits nor experienced being hurt by him on any sort. he is a very gentle man who always love to serve us (my mom and us, the children). he never shouted at us.

my mom and dad are both retired teachers. they provided for us, sent us all (all 5 siblings) to reputable schools/universities of the country and became all professionals. we're still poor for we are not businessmen and are just ordinary government workers. but we are God-fearing and law abiding citizens.

Sounds like you came from a good family. You may consider yourself poor in some things, but it sounds like you are rich in other things.

Some of those observations are from my wife's family, and they are crazy, her whole family, both sides. Maybe that is what drew us together. My family is not normal either.

[honey_me 7]

It's always good to hear from Filipinas on these matters.

Thank you.