Age Difference and Kids,How much does it Matter

[souleymon 27]

Thanks VJ.even though we havent filed yet,i am learning day by day from others experience.My woman becomes a citizen (usc) in 2 weeks time and intends to file a week after.She has visited me twice in the last 6months and we got engaged on d 1st visit,my family loved her

She will be 39 next month and i am 29 already.is the Gap btw our ages wide or could be it be termed in RED FLAG

She is a Christian and i am a Moslem (we both respect our religions)

She has kids and has never being Married b4 but i do not have Kids and never Married B4

We have Pictures/Videos,constant contact details, of our relationship for the past 3 yrs

I need Candid Answers to our chances,even though i am optimistic,what r the chances at the Lagos Embassy.Please Analyse,with no Sentiments as it wont debar my intention and my chances.Thanks while i hope some others fall into this category

[patient2010 93]

Thanks VJ.even though we havent filed yet,i am learning day by day from others experience.My woman becomes a citizen (usc) in 2 weeks time and intends to file a week after.She has visited me twice in the last 6months and we got engaged on d 1st visit,my family loved her

She will be 39 next month and i am 29 already.is the Gap btw our ages wide or could be it be termed in RED FLAG

She is a Christian and i am a Moslem (we both respect our religions)

She has kids and has never being Married b4 but i do not have Kids and never Married B4

We have Pictures/Videos,constant contact details, of our relationship for the past 3 yrs

I need Candid Answers to our chances,even though i am optimistic,what r the chances at the Lagos Embassy.Please Analyse,with no Sentiments as it wont debar my intention and my chances.Thanks while i hope some others fall into this category

To be truthful everything is 50/50 when it comes to the Lagos embassy because just when we think things will be red flagged they are not it seems it depends what side of the bed those folks wake up on that determine how there day will go!!!! I believe they will definitely question you about the age difference and they will definitely ask about her kids things such as there name, ages, DOB, things like that.....Stop thinking on the what could happen and think on the positive get all your things in order and have all your documents air tight and you will be fine....Lagos is not predictable and I dont believe that there is one person can give you consistent accounts of events that will happen during your journey...the one consistent is that they are tough ......Good luck to you guys!!!

[canadian_wife 1,818]

Lagos is such a high fraud consulate that anything could be used against you. I'm sorry but there is no way to answer your question. Maybe the age difference will matter, maybe not. Maybe the religions will matter, maybe not

I've seen Lagos denials over extremely minor things. I've also seen lots of approvals.

tough to tell. Be as prepared as possible with as much evidence of your relationship as you can. And perhaps stop calling her your 'woman' and maybe pick a more romantic term.

good luck

[pushbrk 12,824]

Thanks VJ.even though we havent filed yet,i am learning day by day from others experience.My woman becomes a citizen (usc) in 2 weeks time and intends to file a week after.She has visited me twice in the last 6months and we got engaged on d 1st visit,my family loved her

She will be 39 next month and i am 29 already.is the Gap btw our ages wide or could be it be termed in RED FLAG

She is a Christian and i am a Moslem (we both respect our religions)

She has kids and has never being Married b4 but i do not have Kids and never Married B4

We have Pictures/Videos,constant contact details, of our relationship for the past 3 yrs

I need Candid Answers to our chances,even though i am optimistic,what r the chances at the Lagos Embassy.Please Analyse,with no Sentiments as it wont debar my intention and my chances.Thanks while i hope some others fall into this category

Yes, each issue you mentioned is a potential red flag as to the bona fides of your relationship. They best evidence to combat red flags is always the time you spend together in person. The more, the better. I'm afraid "What are the chances?" is an impossible question to answer. Best to focus on building he best case you can so that "probabilities" become irrelevant.

[souleymon 27]

Lagos is such a high fraud consulate that anything could be used against you. I'm sorry but there is no way to answer your question. Maybe the age difference will matter, maybe not. Maybe the religions will matter, maybe not

I've seen Lagos denials over extremely minor things. I've also seen lots of approvals.

tough to tell. Be as prepared as possible with as much evidence of your relationship as you can. And perhaps stop calling her your 'woman' and maybe pick a more romantic term.

good luck

Smiles thanks for the words "and perhaps stop calling her your 'woman' "

She completes me i do call her Angel

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

To be truthful everything is 50/50 when it comes to the Lagos embassy because just when we think things will be red flagged they are not it seems it depends what side of the bed those folks wake up on that determine how there day will go!!!! I believe they will definitely question you about the age difference and they will definitely ask about her kids things such as there name, ages, DOB, things like that.....Stop thinking on the what could happen and think on the positive get all your things in order and have all your documents air tight and you will be fine....Lagos is not predictable and I dont believe that there is one person can give you consistent accounts of events that will happen during your journey...the one consistent is that they are tough ......Good luck to you guys!!!

Patient2010 has valid points here. It does depend on their mood of the day, but have your documents, pictures, plane ticket copies, boarding passes from all the trips, phone records, emails etc and so on all ready. Know as much as possible about each other in this time in which you are communicating back and forth. No one can tell you precisely what the embassy will do or say. I agree that they are tough, just prove your case strongly and you should be ok with God's grace. Good luck and please keep us updated.

Edited May 2, 2011 by LoveNigarmostyle

[pushbrk 12,824]

Patient2010 has valid points here. It does depend on their mood of the day, but have your documents, pictures, plane ticket copies, boarding passes from all the trips, phone records, emails etc and so on all ready. Know as much as possible about each other in this time in which you are communicating back and forth. No one can tell you precisely what the embassy will do or say. I agree that they are tough, just prove your case strongly and you should be ok with God's grace. Good luck and please keep us updated.

This idea that the "mood of the day" has any impact, comes from people who don't understand the process. The bulk of the decision making has already occurred prior to the first word spoken between the Consular Officer and the visa applicant. The interview either confirms that decision or reverses it. The most important concern is to actually HAVE and CONDUCT a bona fide relationship, then to show evidence to support those facts. Of course, be prepared to answer any and all questions about the relationship and each other. People in who are in legitimate relationships being lived (conducted) like legitimate relationship, generally have no problem accomplishing this if that's their focus.

[oscar12 23]

My dear,if you believe on own self that you both have a truthful relationship,Then everything will work itself out......regardless of what comes up....but if you is not true,don't bother coming to Lagos consulate for interview...they are trained very well to know when people fake up relationship for immigration benefit or so and i don't see things the way most people see it when it comes to US embassy here in Lagos....Most European and Asian and some south American counties claim that Nigeria is a very high fraud country when it comes to visa issues.....(Quote.....Not fighting against that).......... and becus of that,there is high denial of visa or whatever but the fact is that when you check the last couple of months here in Vj page....Lagos Consulate issue visas even more than this countries that claims that they are better......

So,just be yourself and believe on your own relationship becus if is true,it will work out for you both in one way or the other.....But If at the end of the day,you were not able to travel to be with her in US,then you both can still get married and you be in Nigeria,Then she can be coming to visit you and staying with you as much as she can.....And continue hoping and believing God that someday you both can be in one roof forever...

But is good you ask questions pertaining your relationship in Vj....the will give you the best advice ever and still yet,they ar some that will keep reminding you that you have a whole lot of red flag yourself just for the fact that you ar from Nigeria....and dont let them get you weak,Just be strong and take the ones you want and let others go.....

On your question.....My fiancee is is 32 and am 29 and to us,it dose not matter and we don't see it as anything becus we ar very much in love and when we play,people around us will say that we play like 10 years old kids and yet we ar not.....so even if she is 100 and you are 70,the question is it really a true relationship.....or not.....if it is....Prove it to them at the Consulate.....they will give you document to go be with her......she has kids or not.....it dose not matter.....the question remains ....is that what you really want for yourself in life.....then if so....prove it and then you are good..............Well on religion...the question is ....Would you both cope with having difference religion and belief and still be able to live in peace....if so...you ar good

Finally.....This all that you need to clarify for the Consulate and you will be alright....Just be true to yourself becus if not.....you will waste heal lot of money that you labored for and end up with nothing at the end becus they are very much trained to ascertain which and which is true when it comes to a relationship....Thats why they are left to make such decisions....and of course paid for...

Wish you best in your Journey...............

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

This idea that the "mood of the day" has any impact, comes from people who don't understand the process. The bulk of the decision making has already occurred prior to the first word spoken between the Consular Officer and the visa applicant. The interview either confirms that decision or reverses it. The most important concern is to actually HAVE and CONDUCT a bona fide relationship, then to show evidence to support those facts. Of course, be prepared to answer any and all questions about the relationship and each other. People in who are in legitimate relationships being lived (conducted) like legitimate relationship, generally have no problem accomplishing this if that's their focus.

That may apply to normal places but Lagos is far from normal. IF the CO has decided to deny they will keep going with the questioning until they hit some excuse to deny. My then fiance knew my childrens names and ages , my ex's names, the reasons for the breakups, the names of my grandkids, the names of my parents, the names of my schools, what degrees I hold. The cars I owned and what my children like to do. The name of my company and how long I had worked there and what my specialty is. The woman finally found a reason to deny when she insisted that unless he could tell her detailed information on what I was working on she wasn't going to give him a visa. First interview was a major FAIL. I responded bhi

y going to reporting a attempt at gathering classified data and the second interview went fine even with the " Asian lady" SO there is a mood of the day and having a valid relationship isn't a sure ticket to a visa

[therese828 4]

Thanks VJ.even though we havent filed yet,i am learning day by day from others experience.My woman becomes a citizen (usc) in 2 weeks time and intends to file a week after.She has visited me twice in the last 6months and we got engaged on d 1st visit,my family loved her

She will be 39 next month and i am 29 already.is the Gap btw our ages wide or could be it be termed in RED FLAG

She is a Christian and i am a Moslem (we both respect our religions)

She has kids and has never being Married b4 but i do not have Kids and never Married B4

We have Pictures/Videos,constant contact details, of our relationship for the past 3 yrs

I need Candid Answers to our chances,even though i am optimistic,what r the chances at the Lagos Embassy.Please Analyse,with no Sentiments as it wont debar my intention and my chances.Thanks while i hope some others fall into this category

dont worry about the age gap.it doesnt matter much.what matters for the consul is on how you can answer the questions related to your relationship.

if age gap is red flag..then why i got an APPROVED VISA? my fiancee is 64 right now and i am 38yrs old.see the age gap?hehehehe so dont worry much about the age gap thing.focus on how you will answer the consul's questions on you;)

good luck!!

[pushbrk 12,824]

That may apply to normal places but Lagos is far from normal. IF the CO has decided to deny they will keep going with the questioning until they hit some excuse to deny. My then fiance knew my childrens names and ages , my ex's names, the reasons for the breakups, the names of my grandkids, the names of my parents, the names of my schools, what degrees I hold. The cars I owned and what my children like to do. The name of my company and how long I had worked there and what my specialty is. The woman finally found a reason to deny when she insisted that unless he could tell her detailed information on what I was working on she wasn't going to give him a visa. First interview was a major FAIL. I responded bhi

y going to reporting a attempt at gathering classified data and the second interview went fine even with the " Asian lady" SO there is a mood of the day and having a valid relationship isn't a sure ticket to a visa

If the interview ends in a denial, it will seem as you've described. Nevertheless, there are other cases, in Lagos, that have kept going until the predisposition to deny was overcome. That's why I said the interview could confirm or reverse the mostly already made decision.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

If the interview ends in a denial, it will seem as you've described. Nevertheless, there are other cases, in Lagos, that have kept going until the predisposition to deny was overcome. That's why I said the interview could confirm or reverse the mostly already made decision.

Asking for details of classified work in return for granting a visa ( her words) passed intense interview and went into attempted espionage. ( My security deparment agreed and filed the report accordingly ) They could have touched any other thread and not dead ended.

[TBoneTX 45,089]

attempted espionage. ( My security deparment agreed and filed the report accordingly )

N or B, did you ever learn what happened to the consul or the Section Chief once the "report hit the fan," so to speak?

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Actually no. Because once the security department decided that she had crossed the line they are the ones that handled things. I am sure she had to explain things. And the next pass I was given instructions on how to react and forms to file out in case they wanted to go down that path again. In the face of the forms my work was not discussed at the next interview.

[TBoneTX 45,089]

Actually no. Because once the security department decided that she had crossed the line they are the ones that handled things. I am sure she had to explain things. And the next pass I was given instructions on how to react and forms to file out in case they wanted to go down that path again. In the face of the forms my work was not discussed at the next interview.

Thanks for the explanation, and hoorah for being able to stop an irresponsible consul at her own game. Would that many of the rest of us had that ability...