am I cheap?

[Brad and Vika 129]

I have removed several personal attacks and some posts baiting members. If TOS violations continue, I will lock the topic.

[Messybrownhair 251]

You have so many red flags now, OP.. I remember your other posts.. Please think about this well. I wish you luck

[And<3Jhe 0]

Your just being so generous I think you spoiled her too much...by the way,from what city your fiance living?

[jrmejia 31]

STOP READ THIS:

Please be careful what you do. Do you love her? Do you feel happy with her? be it.

Let me ask you another question. What if maybe she feels very comfortable with and that is why she is behaving like this? do you suspect she is cheating? I noticed you did not mention anything about her cheating you so probably you two have a way to be happy with each other.

There are some girls who dream to be some one's princess. I guess my friend you found one of those. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with that. Please don't ask me why.

I know many will think I am not giving you the right advice but if you already invest so much in her, keep her but be careful. Who knows maybe she is very nice and respectful than many people describe her.

My vote keep her but be careful.

My 2 cents.

Edited May 1, 2011 by jrmejia

[jrmejia 31]

Forgot to answer your question: "No you are not cheap". Who knows maybe she just teasing you because maybe she thinks you get mad or irritated?

My last 2 cents on this topic unless you need more advice from me.

[ThomKimQC 14]

Some times, I feel it is my fault. I think I am the one trying to offer her things to make her happy. It is as if I am scared not to see her happy.

Are you serious dude!? No, you are right it's not her fault its yours. She has no need for a pick and shovel when you are personally backing up the Armored truck to her front door.

[rheanick 42]

Hi Guys,

I know I should not be posting this personal information about my relationship with my fiancee but I am getting a bit worried. Let me give you some details about the situation so that you can understand me. Okay?

First of all I am not a rich guy. I have mortgage, car's payment, etc to pay. I am the only person generating income in my house, hint, I live alone. I always tell her, listen Mary, I am not a rich guy. I am just a regular guy who works to pay bills and save very little. She does not registered that. What part of "I am not rich she does not understand" ?

Back to the topic:

"SHE ALWAYS CALL ME CHEAP. ALWAYS."

Break down:

trip #1.

I bought a package that included hotel and plane tickets. So my package was paid before going to the phi. I took in cash to the Phil.($3,500 dollars for a week) just to spend. And we spent it all. I don't carry money there. I let her carry it.

Total cost for 1 week: about $5,600 including the package.

Trip two:

Same thing....same amount spent in cash in 1 week. We spent it all.

Total cost for 1 week: about $5,300 including the package.

In between:

She wanted latest Blackberry, dslr camera, new laptop, money to pay her rent, money to shop, money to eat out,, etc. We spent $600 dollars for her kid birthday in the phil about $1,200 dollars for her birthday,. I know it is not a lot for some of you but for me it is. If the kid needs to go to Jolibee, I send $100 or so for her kid to go to jolibee not often though. But every now and then.

Sometimes when I need to send budget for her niece, who is going to college, and by mistake by sending 500 to 900 extra, (because of conversation mis-calculations error) I tell her give that extra to your kid for an ice cream or so, she accepts it as if I am sending the kid a penny.

She went back to the Phil. and I am supposed to budget for it. The total amount came to be roughly 154,000 PHP. I sent 152,000 pesos. Guess what? she called me cheap. I know we agreed that I am supposed to send 154,000 but 2,000 less that is like 50 dollars. Guys the problem is when I use the conversation rate, I always screw up with that. Either extra or less.

*Do not forget all the visa fees, medical, and so forth for Mary and her kid"

If I add up the total amount it is about: $25,0000 - $30,000 dollars in less than a year.

Conclusion:

Each time she asks me to send her something, If I don't send the right amount she calls me cheap and that she thinks our relationship will not work because we already have budget problem.

I already told her I can not spend money at this rate. I really can not afford this any more . Jobs are so hard these days. I am working today but we don't know what tomorrow will bring. At this rate my saving will be gone soon . I left out many many more details about.

Am I cheap from what I explained? am I doing correct thing by letting her know I am not a rich guy? I think it was the right thing to do. Well, sometimes I do give her a hard time before I send but it is not because I am cheap. It is because I can hardly continue spending like this I am not shy to say it and I told her just like that.

She has her visa on her hands to come to USA. I am so nerveouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!

Comments are welcome.

Are you really talking in dollar here not peso?

You are letting her know that you are not a rich guy but you are spending money like a rich guy then you are sending mixed signals.

Expect that she would be the same when she gets to the US.

Good luck. Hope she is worthy of all those money you are wasting.

Hope she wont leave you for another guy once you dont have money to spend for her.

BTW, you are NOT CHEAP. She is the GOLD DIGGER

Edited May 1, 2011 by rheanick

[rheanick 42]

Are you really talking in dollar here not peso?

You are letting her know that you are not a rich guy but you are spending money like a rich guy then you are sending mixed signals.

Expect that she would be the same when she gets to the US.

Good luck. Hope she is worthy of all those money you are wasting.

Hope she wont leave you for another guy once you dont have money to spend for her.

BTW, you are NOT CHEAP. She is the GOLD DIGGER

Reading your aotehr posts... ASK HER TO SIGN A PRENUPTIAL! Coz she is the type of girl that will leave you alone once the money runs dry.

[graceroxas 17]

Any resolution to this issue?

To the OP: Next time she calls you cheap, tell her that whatever qualities she thinks she has that makes you stick with her (sense of humor, being "nice"), those are dime a dozen in the Philippines - "singko sang dosena."

Those are common commodities here. Part of why Filipino nurses, caregivers and others in the service industry are such a hit abroad. We're supposed to be these warm and fuzzy people. Ever asked her if she'll be willing to change your bedpan when you're already old and invalid? With that mentality, maybe she will, but for an arm and a leg.

Grace

Edited May 2, 2011 by graceroxas

[devastedme 2]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I have a lot of things to think about. One person said something that made me think.

[And<3Jhe 0]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I have a lot of things to think about. One person said something that made me think.

If you don't mind what city she from here in Philippines?

Edited May 2, 2011 by And<3Jhe

[Richie Rich 70]

Mine works and is college educated. A very nice girl and funny. The only thing about her is that she does not want to understand that I am not a rich guy.

She will NEVER understand that and seems to dont care whether you are rich or not or can afford it ot not . She maybe works for about $200-300 a month in the Pi . She scams you for money she makes in a year (if ever ) . I have read some earlier posts dating back several months while in the process and you were having problems since then .You should have seen the ''red flags ''. But as I said --the choice is yours . It will MAKE or BREAK you .

[devastedme 2]

If you don't mind what city she from here in Philippines?

Cebu

STOP READ THIS:

There are some girls who dream to be some one's princess. I guess my friend you found one of those. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with that. Please don't ask me why.

I am curious about your statement.

Any resolution to this issue?

To the OP: Next time she calls you cheap, tell her that whatever qualities she thinks she has that makes you stick with her (sense of humor, being "nice"), those are dime a dozen in the Philippines - "singko sang dosena."

Those are common commodities here. Part of why Filipino nurses, caregivers and others in the service industry are such a hit abroad. We're supposed to be these warm and fuzzy people. Ever asked her if she'll be willing to change your bedpan when you're already old and invalid? With that mentality, maybe she will, but for an arm and a leg.

Grace

Still thinking. Too much thinking and maybe I am making a big deal out of this.

Reading your aotehr posts... ASK HER TO SIGN A PRENUPTIAL! Coz she is the type of girl that will leave you alone once the money runs dry.

Thanks

[ThreeC 0]

you've heard everyone's reply which is - "You are being used so Run run run"

BUT I guess, you are trying to be defensive on your own actuations so opinions

here are useless since you tend to only listen to yourself.

you know how much you spend on this woman and I think you are intelligent enough to know if its a big amount or not -

So you yourself can answer if you are cheap or not, right?

goodluck sir! if you are happy and you think your justifications to your actuations are correct then go for it!

If it works out - We will all be happy for you...And If by any chances it didnt work - There is no other thing for us to say but - "WE TOLD YOU SO!"

God bless!

[Purple Turtle 17]

Stockholm Syndrome?

I don't wanna sound harsh but I have to say that the point of this being posted here is because you KNOW something's not right. Stop defending her actions. Educated or not, she's up to something and that's why you're asking us for our opinions. We can't stress it enough or even underline it enough - a better half is someone who won't stoop to calling you names if there are times you can't afford to give her what she needs or wants. It's the reason why we vow to love them for richer or for poorer. Not when they have cash in their wallets or a high-end lifestyle.

Some times, I feel it is my fault. I think I am the one trying to offer her things to make her happy. It is as if I am scared not to see her happy.