am I cheap?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

which has us shaking our heads more in disbelief, the situation the OP is in or one piece of advice given to the OP...

I hope it doesn't become endemic to all Pinay.

ETA: Perhaps it is a Kano disease, where we indulge our spouses too much. I sure hope they are not all taking notes.

Edited May 2, 2011 by Some Old Guy

[TravellingNomad 12]

Hello? Can you hear me? You are just a poor guy in love. Hey!! nothing wrong with that. Read the Book "Romeo and Juliet". They gave something more valuable. "LIFE"!

hello! have you even read Romeo and Juliet? Romeo was no poor guy. Romeo came from a rich family. and unless both OP and his wife is willing to die for each other...i don't see how this classic love story compares to his story. Juliet did not ask Romeo to spend all his money on her.

[HotPinay-KoolKano 10]

Your on a good start to waking up. Do you have any idea how much $1,300.00 is in the Philippines. The Brain is a 50/50 situation as well, the right side and the left side but that don't mean they work together. I suggest you talk to her about this and clarify your position and hers. I seen lots of good posts from Pinays.

to the OP, i agree with what TM said...Your on a good start to waking up. and u said u prayed for this. maybe ur praying that God will guide you..and i feel that He is guiding you, by posting ur probs here is one of a sign that u need to do something coz somethings going wrong with ur fiancee. Prevention is better than cure. and lots of commnets here saying the same thing, so i hope u take our advice. do something now..regrets come letter. I am a Pinay but never did that one to my man. in a relationship its not about money. and she is too expensive!hahaha...it will get worst when u guys will be together, i hope she will change but girls like that will get worst in the long run.

[B_J 2,752]

Bring in the "Logan".....OP needs to start the "manipulation" schooling! ASAP!

I've been waiting for him to chime in on this one too.

[Tim/Mav 305]

so you don't see anything wrong with him having to spend all the money he could be putting in a bank saving for their rainy days or future...for her to get the greatest and latest electronic devices because she just has to have them? having a serious relationship is hard work. it's not about buying your partner's affection. why even fall in love if you are buying the other person's affection? yeah i agree...nothing wrong with spending money on your spouse/partner. but to be forced to spend the money...otherwise you are insulted for not giving in to that person's whim?...that is just plain wrong. stop being naive...would you let your wife go on asking you for thousands of dollars just so she can be happy at having the latest blackberry?...the latest digital camera? $1200 so that she can celebrate her birthday? for god's sake, my wife celebrated her bday and all it cost me was $50! and she told me she even had some left over so she asked me if it was ok for her to use it to buy me a card! wake up...you are giving OP bad advise by telling him to keep enabling his fiancee to treat him like a cash cow.

my 2 cents.

stop making excuses!!!! ok fine...you may have told her at one time this did not go with that...so go find something that will match it. but that did not mean it was a green light for her to just think that you have money to spend. c'mon...$350 for 10 pairs of lingerie? where did she look...victoria's secret?!?!?! there are plenty of locally made lingerie that costs way way cheaper than that! let me ask you something. if you said you are working to pay bills and only having a small amount to save afterwards....how the hell are you coming up with all these money you are sending to her and her extended family? surely if you only have enough to pay bills and set aside a few dollars for savings...where is the thousands of dollars you said you have sent (and will continue to send, with the way you're going) coming from? even though you keep telling her you are not rich, but then turn around and keep sending the amount she tells you, she's thinking that you're just lying to her.

then if this whole attitude of your fiancee started because of your own doing...then undo it by stopping the sending of money for things she does not need. yeah she told you all the spending gets expensive because of the visa processing. but i did not see anywhere in the processing where the beneficiary must have the latest and greatest electronic devices for the petition to be processed or approved. you already know the majorly excessive spending is not right...but you keep making excuses for it...maybe you do deserve what you're getting after all. sorry to be so blunt and insensitive.

love makes a person give in to a point that it hurts. and having someone to love is the best thing in the world. but the person we give all that love to has no right to abuse it.

OUCH ! That hurt. But it was What I thought and would'nt say. ( So send her $500.00 and say No More after this. ) Kidding !

[B_J 2,752]

hello! have you even read Romeo and Juliet? Romeo was no poor guy. Romeo came from a rich family. and unless both OP and his wife is willing to die for each other...i don't see how this classic love story compares to his story. Juliet did not ask Romeo to spend all his money on her.

And Romeo and Juliet were both really young.

And they both ended up DEAD!!

Definitely not a road map for a successful romance.

[TravellingNomad 12]

you mentioned she has visa in hand. she told you things will change when she comes here. use the time before she comes here to find out how she reacts if you stop sending money for ALL unnecessary expenses.

i agree with this. take jrmejia's advise about it not being too late to undo things by incorporating it with this advise from sunandmoon. since the petition is pretty much done (with the expenditure of having to pay for her plane ticket to come here), tell her now you will be doing some belt tightening and see how she reacts when she will not be getting anymore money to buy things she does not need but want to have.

[jrmejia 31]

i agree with this. take jrmejia's advise about it not being too late to undo things by incorporating it with this advise from sunandmoon. since the petition is pretty much done (with the expenditure of having to pay for her plane ticket to come here), tell her now you will be doing some belt tightening and see how she reacts when she will not be getting anymore money to buy things she does not need but want to have.

There you go

[sunandmoon 450]

I hope it doesn't become endemic to all Pinay.

ETA: Perhaps it is a Kano disease, where we indulge our spouses too much. I sure hope they are not all taking notes.

otherwise, we wouldn't be here on VJ, we'd be on a legal forum for advice on filing for bankruptcy.

[Fandango 1,439]

Even the panties at VS are not $35 a pop. You're being played.

[Zharren Young 32]

LOL... oh she understands you alrighty! You just underestimate HER.

Accountability is a good thing. Now what will you do about it?

Ok you need to get a grip on yourself! You're not all that for God sakes! But your little dog is cute! Geeze...

LOL yes she reeks of that stinky kind of fish when you fry it... what's the name ?? The dried ones that make people run out of a house when cooking?

<<<<<<< ACH I HATE THAT SMELL! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!

nyahahaha! lol Mari. you crack me up lol

oh yeah that fish that makes most americans wanna move out to another house when you cook em to their kitchen lol

[HotPinay-KoolKano 10]

you've heard everyone's reply which is - "You are being used so Run run run"

BUT I guess, you are trying to be defensive on your own actuations so opinions

here are useless since you tend to only listen to yourself.

you know how much you spend on this woman and I think you are intelligent enough to know if its a big amount or not -

So you yourself can answer if you are cheap or not, right?

goodluck sir! if you are happy and you think your justifications to your actuations are correct then go for it!

If it works out - We will all be happy for you...And If by any chances it didnt work - There is no other thing for us to say but - "WE TOLD YOU SO!"

God bless!

I agree with ur idea! two thumbs up!

[charlie and tahne 8]

oh man sorry about this,, im sure your girl is living with other men or she is married,check her status ,you are sending her too much,, forget your feelings to her kick her out before she kick you out.

[T ♥ G 0]

Helo,this would be me my opinion, since you have a close simular situation with my fiance with his relationship before, First,after i read you're post i am thinking if that women calls you a cheap? i can say she does not want your love,she wants your $$ is all for his own happiness. So, much better if you wake up early this time, and don't be to fool, u should know what's really going on there.You are nice men i can tell, but don't let your fiancee taken advantage of u. You should not marry that woman who does not appreciates u and not giving u importance on what have you done and give to her. DOn't be to fool staying with her. Perhaps you can find an asian women who deserves you're love, beautiful inside and out and not aftering your money.And one thing try to tell you're fiancee to imagine being you? having a hard working days just to fulfilled the needs of a materialistic person, and how long it takes to save that much and give it? and after all you give,then she will just calls you a "CHEAP? Wow, she's acting like a spoiled princess.SHe sounds worse than american women. SO, once you decide to look somewhere else, then u put all your hopes in that,some women in Phils can be very tricky, not ALL... I hope our opinion and advices here will gave u a big help or to decide... Hope you have a good day.. God Bless...

[ayenatUS 0]

wake up man.

a lot Pinays has that funny character u like about her.

but there were few Pinay who will admit that they asked for money, whatever that money should be spend for.

gifts are gifts as long you both are happy. no matter how much will that cost.

you are generous enough to let her experience (maybe) what she cannot afford. SHE SHOULD BE THANKFUL. (and she has a KID!)

BUT TO CALL U CHEAP? she's now starting to warn you that SHE NEEDS MORE...and MORE.

IT'S NOT LOVE THAT SHE HAS.

SHE HAS NEEDS.

educated, has work, poor, very poor....a True and sincere Filipina, live life with highest integrity.

BTW, I am Pinay.