Is there a way to request what day of the week to have the oath ceremony?

[venusfire503 54]

I have a situation and don't know what to do. We're currently waiting for the oath letter and was wondering if there's any way to request what day of the week the ceremony will be on. Here's why - I have split custody with my ex, and I really want my kids to have the chance to attend my husband's (their stepfather's) oath ceremony. They really love him, and this is a big deal to all of us. The problem is my ex. If the ceremony is on one of his custody days, I guarantee he won't let me take them. I could take the matter to court, but there probably wouldn't be enough time once we know the date (he has a history of filing continuances, too, so even months of advance notice wouldn't matter). To anyone who thinks I'm exaggerating... well, I'm not. See below for details. Anyway, this is really important to us. I really want the children to go, and I don't want to take a chance that my ex will keep them from going. Is there any way to get the oath ceremony for a day the children will be with me? Does anyone happen to know if ceremonies are scheduled every day or the week, or only certain days?

To make this situation even more frustrating, we've been waiting for a really long time - we sent his application in last May. I don't want to wait to get the oath letter, and then call to reschedule (if that's even possible) and delay this even longer. If it comes down to that, though, is that possible?

venusfire

details of the two times I asked my ex to make schedule changes:

In the years since the divorce, there have only been two times I've asked my ex to switch times with me (or just let me pick the kids up for a few hours) - both times were things I couldn't schedule, and both times were important to me and my children. Once was when my mother was coming to visit - she can't afford to come here often, and so only has the chance to see her grandchildren once a year. She has to come when she can schedule time off of work, of course. I checked with my ex as soon as my mother booked her flight, which was at least 2 months ahead of time. He said yes, they could visit her, but then changed his mind the day before she got here. That was on a Friday night - nothing I could do about it except complain to my lawyer and have him write to opposing counsel after the fact. The other time was the weekend after my sister's scheduled c-section. The whole family (who is scattered all over the country) made plans to come in that weekend, and they were all stopping at my house that Saturday afternoon. I asked my ex (a few weeks before that weekend, as soon as I found out) if we could switch weekends, and he said no. I then asked if the kids could come over for an hour or two, since it's not that often the whole family gets together. Again, he said yes, but told me the night before that he had changed his mind - again, on a Friday night. Twice, my kids missed out on seeing family because he didn't want them to.

Yes, he's really that mean and petty. Yes, I honestly believe he'll make my children miss the oath ceremony if it falls on his day. Actually, I'd be willing to bet my house and car on it - he'd relish the chance to ruin the day for me and my husband, without considering the fact that HIS CHILDREN would suffer for it.

I would never do anything like that to my children, but I live by the saying "love your children more than you hate your ex". Too bad he can't do the same.

[Anh map 2,098]

It can't hurt to ask. If that office does group oaths then perhaps you can get a private ceremony scheduled. Probably has more to do with arranging the presiding judge's schedule than anything else.

[venusfire503 54]

It can't hurt to ask. If that office does group oaths then perhaps you can get a private ceremony scheduled. Probably has more to do with arranging the presiding judge's schedule than anything else.

Thank you for answering.... How would I go about requesting? I'm not even sure exactly who does the scheduling....

Thank you!

venusfire

[Anh map 2,098]

Thank you for answering.... How would I go about requesting? I'm not even sure exactly who does the scheduling....

Thank you!

venusfire

Make an InfoPass appointment at the USCIS office.

[venusfire503 54]

Make an InfoPass appointment at the USCIS office.

Thank you so much. I think he should anyway, to find out about the delay (and because doing so in the past seems to have sped things up). While he's there, he can plead for an oath ceremony on a day the kids will already be with us.....

I'm feeling a little better already. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

venusfire

[nurse1967 287]

If it were me and the ex was that uncooperative, I think my kids might suddenly come down with some type of illness the day before they were supposed to visit dad. Might sound shifty but sometimes you have to fight shifty with shifty.

[venusfire503 54]

INFOpass scheduled for this week - I'll keep everyone updated.

venusfire

[venusfire503 54]

If it were me and the ex was that uncooperative, I think my kids might suddenly come down with some type of illness the day before they were supposed to visit dad. Might sound shifty but sometimes you have to fight shifty with shifty.

He'd pick them up even if they really were sick (they are 'pawns' and/or 'property' to him). And the way the schedule works, it would likely be a problem logistically anyway. They're with him a certain number of days, then with me a certain number of days, etc. There would be a good chance the oath day might be in the middle of his custody days. He wouldn't let them stay with me an extra day (much less days), and I couldn't just keep them (by going out of town where he couldn't find us, for example) or take them out of school without his permission. Two reasons: 1 - I couldn't put my kids in the middle of something like that. Not fair to them. 2 - I can't really afford the inevitable legal bills that would be associated with it. (I kid you not - one time, my oldest lost her cell phone, and I got a letter about it through my lawyer, all but accusing me of taking it and hiding it from her. Nothing came out of it , but I ended up owing hundreds of dollars in legal fees).

The only flexibility I have is to pick them up early from school to go to the ceremony if it happens to be in the late morning or afternoon on a day they would be with me after school anyway. If it comes down to it, IF the ceremony is right in the middle of the day, I could chance it by taking them out of school and then taking them back, and just dealing with the fallout later. But that would only work if the ceremony wasn't too early or too late in the day.... and would likely cause so much stress for all of us (although I think the children would feel it was worth it to them).

I just really hope they let us 'pick' the days at INFOpass, or that we just get lucky and they schedule him on one of those days anyway. That would be best for all of us.

As long as it's before the end of the school year (and not on a day off of school), there are really only 2 days of each week that would be a problem, so I guess we have better than a 50/50 chance...

It would really suck if, after all the hassle this has turned into during the past 5 months, we had to decide between delaying and hoping for a 'good' day by rescheduling, or having them miss this very important day.

venusfire

[NickD 202]

Probably should be quiet on this issue, missing the oath ceremony is not a big deal, mostly standing in line and for us, after a long drive. Last one was instructed for no clapping, after watching some videos, a talk about what to do afterwards, handed out the certificates and we left. Prayers were not answered for a same day oath ceremony like some field offices have.

The excitement just comes with the family members afterwards and finally getting a bit of freedom from the USCIS. Really no one else at the oath ceremony cares whether your husband received his citizenship, just another person that makes the lines longer.

Most of your post deals with your ex problems, and hope your state doesn't have these incredibly stupid no-fault divorce laws. I, a guy fought extra hard to get full custody of my kids, and won, had to prove my ex was incapable of taking proper care of them. As my new wife did with her daughter. I actually encouraged my kids to visit their mom, but with the ####### she pulled, they just didn't want anything to do with her. Same with my stepdaughter, her dad refused to sign for her passport that ended up with her having very ill feelings toward her dad. And as an adult now, its strictly her choice. But couldn't explain that to her father when I talked to him, but he has learned now the damage he caused with his stubborn relationship with his daughter.

For my stepdaughters' 18th birthday took her down to Chicago to get her a passport, and gave her a plane ticket so she could visit her family. She visited her dad, learned he was remarried with a couple of stepkids he was taken better care of than her. That didn't help her either. But you will never be able to explain that to your ex. Times are rough now, but he will learn.

In our state with visitor rights to the other parent, by law can only move up to 125 miles away, could check on your state laws. Distance helps. How do your kids react to their dad? How old are they? Okay, none of my business.

[w8inglongtime 29]

How is your relationship with your ex husband? If it's cordial, you might want to ask nicely if he will bend his day with the kids so you can take them to the ceremony. Remember it's not your oath but rather (as far as he's concerned) some other man's oath. You mentioned you could take him to court but I'm afraid you'll lose the case since the courts gave him that day to be with the kids. I say try playing nice and lets hope he goes along with it. It will be nice to have your family there. Good luck

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

You are in Penn, so let's say they have 6 Oath Ceremonies per year within the reach of the USCIS Filed Office that's adjudicating your N-400. So if you want yours to be on a certain day of the week, you may have to wait a few years.

That said, watching an Oat Ceremony ranks on the excitement scale second only to watching the Pharaonic circumcision of a little girl in Africa. You couldn't pay me enough to attend one as a spectator. Little hint: Los Angeles has 12,000 applicants in one day. Strong binoculars needed! Think Texas Cattle Drive with lots of waiting involved and without the whips. It's torture and if children have to watch it I call it a case of child abuse.

Seriously.

[Caroline and Phil 14]

Go to the Oath Ceremony on the day they schedule it then you can throw a party or go out for dinner to celebrate with the kids. It's something they for sure would have much more fun.

I'm almost sure kids would get bored with the Ceremony. lol

[NickD 202]

You are in Penn, so let's say they have 6 Oath Ceremonies per year within the reach of the USCIS Filed Office that's adjudicating your N-400. So if you want yours to be on a certain day of the week, you may have to wait a few years.

That said, watching an Oat Ceremony ranks on the excitement scale second only to watching the Pharaonic circumcision of a little girl in Africa. You couldn't pay me enough to attend one as a spectator. Little hint: Los Angeles has 12,000 applicants in one day. Strong binoculars needed! Think Texas Cattle Drive with lots of waiting involved and without the whips. It's torture and if children have to watch it I call it a case of child abuse.

Seriously.

You do have a very colorful way of putting it. My wife and I positively have a blast with our granddaughter, spends every other weekend with us. I would never even dream of taking her to an oath ceremony. She would have to spend eight hours tied up in the car, to the best of my knowledge, no food allowed in there. Wait in long lines, be quiet while listening to long boring speeches.

Most suitable definition of the word, "ceremony" is, "Strict observance of formalities or etiquette.", Something kids really don't enjoy doing. Well, neither do adults. Our two oath ceremonies were on a Tuesday and a Thursday. But the Lord was with us for my stepdaughter, we had a severe snow storm the day before and the day after. Least we didn't have to spend 17 hours in the car. For my wifes' ceremony, had her pull out that little Made in China flag and wave it, never did that for my stepdaughter. Observers don't get a flag.

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

Having a party later is a great idea, and probably more fun for everyone. I plan on buying lots of US themed stuff in the sale after the 4th July for mine

[NickD 202]

Having a party later is a great idea, and probably more fun for everyone. I plan on buying lots of US themed stuff in the sale after the 4th July for mine

Got my wife a 5 X 8 Made in America US flag, all hand stitched through my senators office with a certificate, it was flown over the US Capitol building in honor of her US citizenship. But never got around to buying a flag pole so we could display it, I am terrible!

Anyone can order these by visiting their senators homepage, just type in, who is your senator on google and look. But has to be for a special occasion, like getting your US citizenship.

Never seen anyone decorate their home like my daughter-in-laws' aunt, not only hundreds of flags in her yard with large happy 4th of July custom made signs, but every room in her home just had all kinds of 4th goodies. Could post photos, if I knew how, its amazing.