Relationship soon to end

[L05t 0]

I want to make it short and straight to the point..We were married in Philippines and now we have a US-born baby boy. I don't know anything about legal matters that's why I'm writing this and hoping someone could help me. If we decided to live separate ways, do we have to file a case as to who gets the custody of the child? If in case the judge grant me that, can I take the baby with me to the Philippines? Can we file an annulment here and will it be honored there? Thank you.

Edited April 14, 2011 by L05t

[tallcoolone 102]

I want to make it short and straight to the point..We were married in Philippines and now we have a US-born baby boy. I don't know anything about legal matters that's why I'm writing this and hoping someone could help me. If we decided to live separate ways, do we have to file a case as to who gets the custody of the child? If in case the judge grant me that, can I take the baby with me to the Philippines? Can we file an annulment here and will it be honored there? Thank you.

Welcome to the wonderful world of lawyers and divorce in USA. It could cost you or him a small fortune in custody fight for a child. I have seen people spend close to $100,000 USD or 5 million peso on child custody.

Best thing is if your and your SO can get a out of court settlement on child and other maritial things.

[Casprd 167]

I want to make it short and straight to the point..We were married in Philippines and now we have a US-born baby boy. I don't know anything about legal matters that's why I'm writing this and hoping someone could help me. If we decided to live separate ways, do we have to file a case as to who gets the custody of the child? If in case the judge grant me that, can I take the baby with me to the Philippines? Can we file an annulment here and will it be honored there? Thank you.

Even if the judge grants you custody there will be limitations on your being able to leave the country with the child. In many cases, if the judge suspects you intend to leave, then you won't be granted physical custody.

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

Even if the judge grants you custody there will be limitations on your being able to leave the country with the child. In many cases, if the judge suspects you intend to leave, then you won't be granted physical custody.

What makes you say that? If she is granted custody, she is free to go anywhere in the world she wants to, subject to the limitations of a visitation agreement.

Since the child is a USC, there WILL be issues to be dealt with, such as citizenship, but since she is the natural mother, that should be easy to handle. The biggest problem(s) you will face is if your husband decides to fight you. When I move to the PI, I plan to take my kids from a previous marriage there, but of course, I have to let their mom know, and work out visitation with her.

It all boils down to how your relationship is with your husband/EX as the divorce processes. If it's uncontested divorce, and depending on which state, you can do it for a few hundred USD. If you go to Guam, you can be divorced within a month for $1200, no questions asked. If there is fighting going on, then it will take longer, and cost more.

Also, understand that your husband has an obligation to pay you money to help support the child, it's not like in the PI. The amount will be set by the court based on his income. Don't be naive and go away without the money, but also be wise and use it to raise your child properly.

Sorry to hear things are not working out for you guys. It may be too late, but have you considered marriage counselling?

HTH

[BJZags 17]

What makes you say that? If she is granted custody, she is free to go anywhere in the world she wants to, subject to the limitations of a visitation agreement.

I'd like to see some supporting documentation for that statement. Even if the mom is granted custody, I would dare say she is not "free" to go anywhere in the world with the child BECAUSE of the visitation agreement. Courts have refused children moving out-of-state, much less out of the country before. If the husband agrees to this move, it's another story.

[tallcoolone 102]

Last few American Philippines couples I have seen divorce with a kid or baby, the mother gave the baby to the father (USC).

[L05t 0]

@ DavenRoxy-- I don't want to elaborate things further but I don't think we'll consider counselling, thanks.

@ TCO-- I'd die first before I give up my son

@ BJzags @ Casprd-- Thanks for the info

[Tahoma 2,292]

I want to make it short and straight to the point..We were married in Philippines and now we have a US-born baby boy. I don't know anything about legal matters that's why I'm writing this and hoping someone could help me. If we decided to live separate ways, do we have to file a case as to who gets the custody of the child? If in case the judge grant me that, can I take the baby with me to the Philippines? Can we file an annulment here and will it be honored there? Thank you.

In the U.S., you will get a divorce rather than an annulment.

If the U.S. citizen files for the divorce, you will need to get a recognition of the divorce through the court in 'Pinas. If you are the one who files for the divorce, you will need to get an annulment in 'Pinas.

As for child custody, either you can work out an agreement with your husband or the court will decide. The court will usually grant custody to the mother. The court will also grant you monthly child-support payments.

As for taking your child to live in 'Pinas, it is highly likely that you will need your husband's cooperation for that to happen because he can easily prevent it.

Please get a divorce attorney who has experience with these issues.

Best wishes.

[L05t 0]

In the U.S., you will get a divorce rather than an annulment.

If the U.S. citizen files for the divorce, you will need to get a recognition of the divorce through the court in 'Pinas. If you are the one who files for the divorce, you will need to get an annulment in 'Pinas.

As for child custody, either you can work out an agreement with your husband or the court will decide. The court will usually grant custody to the mother. The court will also grant you monthly child-support payments.

As for taking your child to live in 'Pinas, it is highly likely that you will need your husband's cooperation for that to happen because he can easily prevent it.

Please get a divorce attorney who has experience with these issues.

Best wishes.

Hi Tahoma. If we were divorced here, does that mean I have to go through the whole process again so the divorce will be recognized in Philippines or can I do it through Philippine Consulate here?

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

I'd like to see some supporting documentation for that statement. Even if the mom is granted custody, I would dare say she is not "free" to go anywhere in the world with the child BECAUSE of the visitation agreement. Courts have refused children moving out-of-state, much less out of the country before. If the husband agrees to this move, it's another story.

Like I said, "subject to the limitations of a visitation agreement"... In our case, I can take my kids wherever I want to, but I must provide their mom our address, and I must meet all requirements such as paying half of their travel, providing communication access to their mom, etc. In our divorce decree, we agreed to keep it very simple, and keep the courts out of it, because we didn't want strangers tying us to rules that would be hard to meet, especially with me in the military and forced to move about the world.

Also, as I said, it is better if it's AGREED upon by both parties... the parent without custody can make life difficult if he/she wants to, that's why it's always better to agree (outside of court) to custody arrangements. In my case, I am very fortunate that their mom wants what's best for the kids, and neither of us wants to keep the other from spending time with them. While I am deployed, she has them. When I get back, I will have them. When I move to the PI, they will spend equal time with both of us.

Unfortunately, not all divorces end like ours, and some parents use the kids as a fighting tool. It's a shame, cuz it really only hurts the kids in the end. But as to your statement, you are correct, in some cases, the parents are prevented from moving about freely, and that is usually in cases where the divorce was not amicable. If that happens, then all bets are off. If she cannot get her husband to agree to allowing the child to go to the PI with her, then she will have to fight in court for that right, and it would most likely be very difficult, especially since the child is a USC.

But good advice has been given here, the best thing to do, if you are not on good terms with your spouse during the divorce, get a good lawyer to advise/protect you.

[Tahoma 2,292]

Hi Tahoma. If we were divorced here, does that mean I have to go through the whole process again so the divorce will be recognized in Philippines or can I do it through Philippine Consulate here?

If you are divorced in the U.S. and then you go live in 'Pinas, you will either need to get a judicial recognition of your divorce or an annulment...depending on who filed for the divorce. You would get your annulment or judicial recognition of divorce in 'Pinas.

You can not do it through the Philippine Consulate in the U.S. If you are planning to stay in the U.S. and get married again some day, you will not need to get an annulment in 'Pinas nor will you need to get your divorce judicially recognized in 'Pinas. You simply get married again here.

This is my understanding of the issue.

[sunandmoon 450]

If you are divorced in the U.S. and then you go live in 'Pinas, you will either need to get a judicial recognition of your divorce or an annulment...depending on who filed for the divorce. You would get your annulment or judicial recognition of divorce in 'Pinas.

You can not do it through the Philippine Consulate in the U.S. If you are planning to stay in the U.S. and get married again some day, you will not need to get an annulment in 'Pinas nor will you need to get your divorce judicially recognized in 'Pinas. You simply get married again here.

This is my understanding of the issue.

if she filed for divorce, annulment. if the husband filed for divoce, judicial recognition of foreign divorce.

[sunandmoon 450]

as others have mentioned, it would be extremely difficult to take the child out of the country without the consent of the father. if the child doesn't already have a US Passport, it is unlikely you be able to obtain one without the consent of the father.

[EAbbas 213]

You can't take a child out of the country without a notarization from the other parent saying you have permission to take them...otherwise it would be considered kidnapping in a sense...the other is agreed that you must have a legal representation because your situation isnt cut and dry you need help with the areas of the law...you must see a lawyer...if you dont have money check into other places that provide legal help for low income families.

[LennifelShawn 1]

"The court will usually grant custody to the mother. The court will also grant you monthly child-support payments.

" This is not correct. The courts will almost always grant joint custody if both parents want the child and both parents are not bad parents.

Also, unless you get written notarized permission from the father, you will not even make it out of this country as they will want to see this document for the child.

if the child does not have a passport already it will take both parent's signatures in order to get the passport.