Hard decision to make, As many opinions as possible would honestly be appreciated

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

With out knowing your financial situation or the laws of england as to marriage, let me run this up the flag pole.

Have your girl fly to England and let your dad do a religious wedding ceremony without the wedding license and all that stuff.

Then proceed as planned with everything else except your father stays in England. The money saved on him not flying to the States

could be used to fly her to England. No need to go through any paperwork changes.

I'm not religious or into all the ceremony rigamarole but if I was your father I would think the honor of Marrying you two before God would

be a fair trade off for missing the other ceremony. I'm assuming he would not be the one to do the ceremony in the States.

Won't work.

ANY ceremony in the UK is regarded as legal.

[jpidgley 9]

Won't work.

ANY ceremony in the UK is regarded as legal.

it's not the ceremony that makes you married, its when you sign the register. if it was the ceremony, you wouldnt be allowed to make up your own vows.

it's not a path i wish to take anyway

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

How old was your Dad when this occurred?

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

it's not the ceremony that makes you married, its when you sign the register. if it was the ceremony, you wouldnt be allowed to make up your own vows.

it's not a path i wish to take anyway

I realize it's not the path you wish. I was speaking to Dan and Judy.

Many posters to these boards though think foreign nationals can hope off the plane in Great Britain and get married over there. I guess that's not such a weird notion because the UK is a developed nation like the US. Simple fact though is UK laws are different, and a visa is required for any foreign national to marry a UK citizen.

I'm not sure what vows have to do with anything. That might be an interesting thread for another day!

[jpidgley 9]

How old was your Dad when this occurred?

umm 20ish? haha i should really know. he was over 18 anyway.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

umm 20ish? haha i should really know. he was over 18 anyway.

Fiddlesticks.

Oh well it was a nice try.

I'd say your Father will probably be granted a B2. His crimes are old and he's had no other run-ups with the law. I'm not sure which type of waiver he needs (212 or 601) but that doesn't matter to this discussion. US Embassy in London advises that applicants for a B2 with prior convictions should expect at least a 4 month wait.

A bit of digging at other internet corners of the universe lead me to uncover the practice of some UK citizens with this problem flying over to the US Embassy in Belfast for speedier processing.

[tobey 0]

I think a lot of us K1 people are in the same position (just different situations). You have already waited so long to be with your fiancee, so I would say to have a civil ceremony (just city hall) when you get here and then have a ceremony later on. We are basically having a civil ceremony as soon as my fiance comes and then maybe even in a year or more when we are financially able to afford a ceremony wedding we will have that as our relatives are all over the world. But I would definitely first try to get the B2 for your dad. Nothing like parents being able to see their son marry, which is also why we are waiting to have our " religious ceremony" as my fiance's parents said they wouldn't be able to come for another year.

[jpidgley 9]

I think a lot of us K1 people are in the same position (just different situations). You have already waited so long to be with your fiancee, so I would say to have a civil ceremony (just city hall) when you get here and then have a ceremony later on. We are basically having a civil ceremony as soon as my fiance comes and then maybe even in a year or more when we are financially able to afford a ceremony wedding we will have that as our relatives are all over the world. But I would definitely first try to get the B2 for your dad. Nothing like parents being able to see their son marry, which is also why we are waiting to have our " religious ceremony" as my fiance's parents said they wouldn't be able to come for another year.

a few people have said things like this, and in my mind, i just don't see the point. once you're married, you are married. If someone misses it, then doing it again later on wont change the fact that everyone will know its fake... for me i can't grasp the idea of being married, then repeating the ceremony. Getting married is (for alot of people) a once in a lifetime event, and you either see it or you don't.

[Shawn & Emi 16]

I'm sorry to hear of your situation, and I can't offer any advice as to how your dad could be in the US for your wedding because I don't have experience with waivers, but I think a B2 is his only option as he won't be eligible for the VWP.

As far as your wedding goes, I had a somewhat similar dilemma when we got married. We'd set our wedding date at the time I'd returned Packet 3 to the Embassy, and told everyone the date then (4 and a half months before the wedding!). My friends booked time off work pretty much immediately, but 2 months before our wedding my dad phoned me and asked me to change our wedding date because he hadn't booked the time off work and had left it too late to do so. This was after he had been adamant he would be there at our wedding... He actually could have come, but it would have only been for 4 days which he said wasn't really worthwhile (it's more than a 10,000 mile roundtrip). The fact he was fully expecting us to completely change our plans really annoyed both of us, especially as he should have been more organized. This kind of thing is typical of my dad, he thinks the world revolves around him. Well, the wedding was mostly paid for at that point and it was on a date we wanted, at the venue we wanted - not to mention the fact that other people had organized their vacation time around it, etc. I told him all of this, and said we wouldn't be changing our wedding date. I didn't get mad with him, although I was fuming inside. He knew of the requirement to marry within 90 days and he knew I wanted to be in the US with Shawn asap after I got my visa in hand - he just assumed we'd throw away all our money and planning at his say so. I felt a bit guilty but it was his own fault - he knew our wedding date and did nothing to ensure he could be there, so it was tough as far as I was concerned.

I agree with LoveMyMohamed who said maybe your dad didn't think it would really happen when you started down the K1 route - I know my dad was probably in denial that I would be emigrating, he kept saying how I might not get my visa etc. He had long enough to get somewhat used to the idea, it had been on the cards 6 months before we even filed the I-129F. When I told him our wedding date he pretty much told me I was stupid to set a date, because I might not have my visa in time. We knew that was a possibility, but we thought it would work out great and it did - I was here 6 weeks before our wedding, as planned.

I'm still annoyed with my dad because he'd made such a big deal out of how he would definitely be at our wedding, and when it came down to it he didn't bother to even provisionally book any time off! Then he made me feel bad about not changing our wedding date, but it was unreasonable of him to ask that of us in the first place.

I know your situation is different, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone. After all this time apart you're completely right to want to be with your fiancée as soon as you can - and if that means your dad can't be at your wedding, then so be it. It's a shame, but this is your life. Also, I agree with you feeling that he should have started the B2 process long ago - then you wouldn't be in this position.

Good luck with everything!

[tobey 0]

a few people have said things like this, and in my mind, i just don't see the point. once you're married, you are married. If someone misses it, then doing it again later on wont change the fact that everyone will know its fake... for me i can't grasp the idea of being married, then repeating the ceremony. Getting married is (for alot of people) a once in a lifetime event, and you either see it or you don't.

I understand you completely, before starting this process I couldn't have thought of a wedding other than a once in a life time event. But this process really changes all of that for many people and you do have to make sacrifices. Would I prefer to have a white beautiful wedding like everyone else, of course. But for us, unfortunately, it is not a reality, and if i want to honor my future in-laws, then this is the path I must choose. It is the price I pay to be with my loved one. I think of a civil ceremony as just signing some papers (I have heard of a lot of people taking off their "rings" until their formal ceremony). When I am married in a sacred place, in front of witnesses that care about us, and say the vows to my husband, that is when I will feel truly married.

[Kristi & Fady 0]

I think you should wait. A few months isn't really a big deal and time does end up going by fast when you think of it. Plus, you will have the rest of your life to be with your wife. Waiting a couple of months so that your dad can see you get married the one time in your life, is worth the wait. If you were in his shoes, what would you want? You would most likely want to see our son get married. You get married once in your life (or should anyway) so dont take that from your dad. I think you will feel better if you waited to give him the chance to come. You might feel bad if he wasnt there. But I dont know how close you are to your dad or to your family.

[Que Saudade 284]

You can always have another special celebration with your dad after the fact. There are many couples here in the US whose families can't afford to travel to west coast or east coast etc..... for the wedding. Makes things stressful for the couple trying to please everybody. So, they get married in one place and then have a reaffirmation of vows in another. WIN WIN... anyhow, sorry for the whole legal process that is stopping your day from being perfect. But as long as you are marrying the perfect one, everything else will work out just fine.

Best of luck to you and Congratulations on the big day.

John and Mari

[CBM 14]

You have 6 months to endorse your visa from the time it's issued... so let's say it will expire Sept. 30th, since your interview is in a week.

Your dad could easily apply for the B2 NOW (start the paperwork tonight!), and if it's granted, great. Go ahead with your plans. It may only take a while to approve. If it's denied, apply for the appropriate waiver, and pray to God he gets it. As JVP pointed out, if it gets to within a month or so, you could hop on the plane and not waste the visa.

I understand your reasoning behind not wanting 2 ceremonies. My fiance and I have essentially been forced into getting married legally and having our actual wedding 7 months later. It's not what I wanted, in any way, but due to cost and medical reasons for my future FIL, this was the best option. But I do understand what you mean. To me, it feels like a waste of time, in a way, because we're already married, and will be living together as husband and wife....... and then over half a year later, we're going to have this "pretend" wedding. That's just my opinion. I know a lot of people do this, and love it, and that's great. At this point, I just want to be together and get married. The details can sort themselves out.

Dads are important. I'm sure he would appreciate that you gave him the chance to apply for the B2 and subsequent waiver, if needed.

Good luck with your interview, in any event.

[Boiler 44,855]

I would have some sympathy if this was something new.

This has been a known issue for decades and he has had a year or so to sort it out, so really not your problem.

[Sergi9 110]

You have 6 months to endorse your visa from the time it's issued... so let's say it will expire Sept. 30th, since your interview is in a week.

Your dad could easily apply for the B2 NOW (start the paperwork tonight!), and if it's granted, great. Go ahead with your plans. It may only take a while to approve. If it's denied, apply for the appropriate waiver, and pray to God he gets it. As JVP pointed out, if it gets to within a month or so, you could hop on the plane and not waste the visa.

I understand your reasoning behind not wanting 2 ceremonies. My fiance and I have essentially been forced into getting married legally and having our actual wedding 7 months later. It's not what I wanted, in any way, but due to cost and medical reasons for my future FIL, this was the best option. But I do understand what you mean. To me, it feels like a waste of time, in a way, because we're already married, and will be living together as husband and wife....... and then over half a year later, we're going to have this "pretend" wedding. That's just my opinion. I know a lot of people do this, and love it, and that's great. At this point, I just want to be together and get married. The details can sort themselves out.

Dads are important. I'm sure he would appreciate that you gave him the chance to apply for the B2 and subsequent waiver, if needed.

Good luck with your interview, in any event.

Unfortunately the process does not work that way. He will be denied the B2 because it requires he disclose past criminal history therefore he is not eligible without the waiver. It makes no sense to file the B2 request without the waiver its a waste of time and energy to file without the waiver paperwork.

Edited March 27, 2011 by Sergi9