Get a Grip!

[Que Saudade 284]

I think the bigger issue here is (be careful smoke coming out of my ears) is that "how something is said and not so much as to what is said is very important". Yes, maybe it is a little unrealistic thinking that an application should be adjudicated 3 months after filing under todays current timeframes. The point is not to bash a newbie about complaining, but rather we should be able to identify with the frustrations and help encourage them. Yes it is hard. But this immigration process, according to US Laws, is a privilege...not a right. Yes there is going to be a wait unless you are one of the super luckies that get the rapid approval. Help one another prepare for the long haul, but don't get nasty with them just because they want to be with their loved ones also. Yes it does suck, and hopefully you won't have to wait as long as others have, but the reality is that you may have to wait as there is no immediate cure to speed up the process. And it appears that the trend is not getting better, but worse We can raise awareness, but it isn't going to change things in a week. We can complain, but we need to complain the appropriate way with facts, logically not emotionally. Well thought out letters that are carefully edited, concise, and to the point sent to the ones in charge We can also complain by the way we vote to elect our congressman and senators who are sympathetic with people trying to do things legally. Just yelling and screaming won't solve a thing. Banding together and becoming one voice is a great idea. Personally, I don't see how twitter is going to change anything, but I support it until something better comes along. We are in unparalleled times economically and everyone, especially those of us who are additionally going through this process, feels an enormous amount of stress. The senior members here do a great job with some of their help. We are all in this together. And who knows, maybe they approve applications out of sequence just to keep us rattled and at one another's throats. This is NOT A COMPETITION. Acknowledging the frustrations of newbies and educate them on how the system works may be beneficial, but please, let's not attack them. Try to remember how bad it felt for all of us waiting on a NOA1.....NOA2, interview date etc..... It hurts.

I have seen people get approved before us and I personally know people who are still (unfortunately) behind us. My heart goes out to everyone who is not with their loved one tonight. And I celebrate the ones who have made it through the process and are reunited with their loved ones. Mari and I are still feeling the stress until we are complete with the interview and hear the words approved.

Anyhow, just my humble opinion and probably not worth very much.

[TimAndRitchel 9]

At three months I had the patience of Job. At four reall anticipation. At five it could happen any day. Now after six I am getting antsy. Seeing people get fast approvals does bother me. Hearing people complain that they've been waiting weeks bothers me. It all goes to fanning the flames of resentment for unfairness in the universe. Wait another three months and you will see what I mean.

But to be fair, it's just the people that have waited a few weeks and are complaining that really bothers me.

But as you can see for yourself, there is no appropriate time. Some people who filed in February already got their Noa 2, so should we be angry with them or someone else just because they were better luck then the rest of us?? No! We are all here for one purpose, to help each other through out this painful and hard process. So, we should wish them good luck on the rest of the journey and perhaps better luck for the rest who are still waiting. I, for example, am aware of how long it will probably take for me to be together with my fiance, but i wont be angry if someone who filed after us would complain. I would try to understand them. Maybe encourage them and let them know that this is not such a quick process. Many people when they apply for K1 visa, think "yeah, its a 5-6 months waiting time, but can it be really that much? Nah, its probably just the high time frame." I admit, that we were like that when it started. We were so pumped up with hope and we thought that even though its 6 month waiting, we may be lucky and get it in 3-4 months. As we spent more time among VJ members, people with more experience, we learned that things dont go so smooth, specially in Vermont.

We shouldnt be angry with each other .... we should help and try to understand. Those who have more experience, should help those who are new in this, and give hope. That is why we joined VJ, to seek help, and thank God, we came to the right place. People here were so wonderful and helped us with the K1 package.

Im grateful.

Lets not judge on who did what ... i think we should unite and help each other in any way we can. Maybe im idealistic in that thought, but we are all more or less in the same "mess" here, so .... lets be more supportive?

I really hope that you get your noa 2 as soon as possible. Cause right now, im learning patience, and its one hard lesson to learn, i admit that I cant imagine how you must feel, so i really hope and wish your noa 2 comes very soon.

Good luck to everyone here now how about that tweeting?

[ann and aties 9]

Iraqvet said: "the longer the wait only builds more evidence for the interview." Now THAT is something I can remind myself of when it gets to be too much! Thanks for that.

[FawkThisSite 13]

Complaining about people that complain. Hrm.

[S and R 8]

Iraqvet said: "the longer the wait only builds more evidence for the interview." Now THAT is something I can remind myself of when it gets to be too much! Thanks for that.

Venting is OK - We are here to share information and experiences, and also to support each other during the long waiting period to NOA2.

[EAbbas 213]

In all fairness we all want our loved ones here asap...we all want to begin the daily routines...I want to be able to go to sleep at night and wake in the morning having my husbands face the last I see and the first when i get up...I want to argue about whose turn it is to help do the dishes, take out the trash...Im tired of my husband reading a book over the cam to our baby girl...im tired of sleeping at night with the cam on just so I can hear him breathing in the background...

to keep all this in perspective...we all want the SAME thing! We will have different outcomes, faster or slower outcomes, RFE's that get in the way, or expedites that help speed it up some...or the CSC to TSC to CSC Saga....but if we all remember we joined VJ so that we could gain insight and understanding from those ahead of us without the fear of being condemned for venting...we need to help those that just joined understand the process and support those who are suffering the black hole of the immigrant visa...help eachother ...support eachother...build eachother up...help find solutions to issues they dont understand....because in the end....it might just be ME on the otherside of the post needing help...if i didnt help before...why would anyone come to my aid in the end???

good luck to ALL of us...and may our journey to our loved ones come swift and safely....

[Que Saudade 284]

In all fairness we all want our loved ones here asap...we all want to begin the daily routines...I want to be able to go to sleep at night and wake in the morning having my husbands face the last I see and the first when i get up...I want to argue about whose turn it is to help do the dishes, take out the trash...Im tired of my husband reading a book over the cam to our baby girl...im tired of sleeping at night with the cam on just so I can hear him breathing in the background...

to keep all this in perspective...we all want the SAME thing! We will have different outcomes, faster or slower outcomes, RFE's that get in the way, or expedites that help speed it up some...or the CSC to TSC to CSC Saga....but if we all remember we joined VJ so that we could gain insight and understanding from those ahead of us without the fear of being condemned for venting...we need to help those that just joined understand the process and support those who are suffering the black hole of the immigrant visa...help eachother ...support eachother...build eachother up...help find solutions to issues they dont understand....because in the end....it might just be ME on the otherside of the post needing help...if i didnt help before...why would anyone come to my aid in the end???

good luck to ALL of us...and may our journey to our loved ones come swift and safely....

:thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs:

[graceroxas 17]

Iraqvet said: "the longer the wait only builds more evidence for the interview." Now THAT is something I can remind myself of when it gets to be too much! Thanks for that.

Best advice I've read here. Use the time wisely and enjoy. A long distance relationship can have its own charms.

Grace

[USA UK 1]

In my opinion, EVERYONE has a right to complain or vent their frustrations. It shouldn't matter if they just filed yesterday or have been waiting 6+ months. Look at it from this perspective... (in this example both couples have lived apart during the entire relationship)

Couple A: Met for the first time 7 months ago, filed 5 months ago, still waiting

Couple B: Met for the first time 3 years ago, filed 1 week ago (couldn't file sooner, because of several reasons), still waiting

Get my drift?? Just because someone has filed a short time ago, doesn't mean they have less of a right to complain/vent than someone else.

This comes from a non filer, hoping to be one some day.

[TimAndRitchel 9]

LOL! Recursive agony. Thank you for that. I really did laugh out loud.

Complaining about people that complain. Hrm.

[Richie Rich 70]

Just had to write a post for those people who constantly complain about the new filers posting and venting. I hope all filers receive their NOA2's as fast as possible. I feel bad for the cases that have been waiting for 5,6 or even 7 months without so much as a touch. Just because new filers haven't waited as long does not mean they do not feel the same frustration as those who have waited longer. No matter when you filed, you should be able to post your thoughts or frustrations without some jerk telling you that you have no right to be frustrated because you have not been waiting as long as he has. This is no competition and I am sure all of us are prepared to wait as long as we need to. Unfortunately we are all at the mercy of our assigned service centers. Next time you read the post of a new filer, try to give them a break and realize that we are all apart from the ones we love.

You need to start complaining after 5 mths (that is the estimated time set by the USCIS ) . Complaining after 3 mths will only frustrate the ones who file after you and is sending the wrong message . When you filed --you knew the processing time --so stop wining . As a previous post said --you have 3 options --(1)--wait , (2) Go and live with your love ones in their country while waiting or (3) Withdraw your petition

[TimAndRitchel 9]

Using the same logic everyone has a right to complain. Including those that have a problem with the short term complainers.

But I understand what you are saying. I hate to admit it but I've been grumpy about everything since we hit 6 months Monday. So take whatever I say with a grain of salt. Neither one of us has slept well since that day. I also find myself having more road rage going to work and we don't have any bad traffic in Tuscaloosa. Heck, sometimes when it rains I get grumpy because it's wet and messy. But I am getting grumpy when the sun shines too because it's bright and hurts my eyes. I am not normally that way but the wait is really grinding on me now.

So apologies to anyone I may have offended. But we all need to take a look at things realisticly.

Peace!

In my opinion, EVERYONE has a right to complain or vent their frustrations. It shouldn't matter if they just filed yesterday or have been waiting 6+ months. Look at it from this perspective... (in this example both couples have lived apart during the entire relationship)

Couple A: Met for the first time 7 months ago, filed 5 months ago, still waiting

Couple B: Met for the first time 3 years ago, filed 1 week ago (couldn't file sooner, because of several reasons), still waiting

Get my drift?? Just because someone has filed a short time ago, doesn't mean they have less of a right to complain/vent than someone else.

This comes from a non filer, hoping to be one some day.

[KevinF 3]

One of the great things about being here is that i know I am not alone in my waiting. I have no room to complain as we are entering our third month and frankly if the NOA2 came today, we would not be ready to act upon it (though I guess we could if needed). I am very thankful for this place to read, learn and see that I am not alone.

The system sucks, but it is what it is and so, we wait patiently and other days not so patiently.

THank God for Skype, email and phones and texts. And returning to a six hour time difference tomorrow.

Bonsoir mes amis. J'ai besoin dormir maintenant.

[Channah&Aaron 51]

; I'm hitting my 5 month mark this monday and although the waiting sucks, I didn't complain.

But I do get frustrated from people who just filed are already desperate of the waiting. And reading people complain, doesn't put a smile on my face at all.. It's all so negative. Be happy that they are progressing your file (NOA1), and what are 5 months apart compared to a life time together? just saying..

We all are impatient, which is very understandable.. but our time will come, maybe not soon, but better late than never...

Try to do your best to stay optimistic!!

That's all

[AlinaH 38]

In my opinion, EVERYONE has a right to complain or vent their frustrations. It shouldn't matter if they just filed yesterday or have been waiting 6+ months. Look at it from this perspective... (in this example both couples have lived apart during the entire relationship)

Couple A: Met for the first time 7 months ago, filed 5 months ago, still waiting

Couple B: Met for the first time 3 years ago, filed 1 week ago (couldn't file sooner, because of several reasons), still waiting

Get my drift?? Just because someone has filed a short time ago, doesn't mean they have less of a right to complain/vent than someone else.

This comes from a non filer, hoping to be one some day.

TOTALLY AGREE! I was going to write this but then I saw your post. You don't know how long people have been apart before they filed. We all miss our SO