where is the love

[NotSorry 0]

hi vj friends

i need help

i met my wife in 2005, we started as friends then we started dating online then our love grew from there, she visited me several times, we decided to get married last december, she was allright until i married her and she went back to the us to fil for the petetion we are waiting for the approval but honestly she has changed a lot, she tells me that she loves me but we fight a lot already and i really love her and want this to work out but she is not helping me and dont even wanna talk about it and if i told her we need to talk about this or that she start crying and first thing she wanna do is to run away and we never get to a resolution to the problem, she makes me feel like she cares about other things more than me, i dont feel the same as before where she used to wake me up in the middle of the night to make me come online and talk to her, how to make this right again like before, i once read that if you dont nurture the love it will fade away i dont want it to fade away, i have tried everything, i know she loves me but she became cold not hot like before . what do i do i am going crazy????

[catracha85 6]

I believe that most couples that are passing through this "stressfull" process, at least once in their relationship have pass through a similiar situation. I remember that a couple of months after we got married, my husband and I fought a lot just for simple and stupid things. Everyday a different stuff, that he was too jealous, or about time difference, or that you are too tired, or something... the thing is that I dont know why, you fight!! Well, I told him that I didnt want to fight any more, that if this process was had the faulth of our discussions, just to stop talking about the process for a few months, because everything was concerning the visa. So we do that, and I believe it help a lot, because we were not stress for the same stuff. Remember that distance relationships (like ours) via internet or phone they are not healthy.! A phone or internet are the only ways to maintain a relationship, and if you say that she dont even what to talk...then it is hard fixing things away. If she could make a trip to visit you could help.....

hope you the best and remember in a marriage there are ups and downs. Not all days are sweet. You need 2 to maintain a relationship

[Golden Gate 530]

hi vj friends

i need help

i met my wife in 2005, we started as friends then we started dating online then our love grew from there, she visited me several times, we decided to get married last december, she was allright until i married her and she went back to the us to fil for the petetion we are waiting for the approval but honestly she has changed a lot, she tells me that she loves me but we fight a lot already and i really love her and want this to work out but she is not helping me and dont even wanna talk about it and if i told her we need to talk about this or that she start crying and first thing she wanna do is to run away and we never get to a resolution to the problem, she makes me feel like she cares about other things more than me, i dont feel the same as before where she used to wake me up in the middle of the night to make me come online and talk to her, how to make this right again like before, i once read that if you dont nurture the love it will fade away i dont want it to fade away, i have tried everything, i know she loves me but she became cold not hot like before . what do i do i am going crazy????

I don't know how easy it is for you two to communicate from a distance logistically, but let me share my experience with you:

My fiance is in the mountains. It is difficult for him to contact me, so I am always the one contacting him and it is usually by telephone. Sometimes, this has made me feel like I am the one always initiating the relationship. I want to feel that he is the one reaching out to me sometimes. So, he has figured out another way to do this, and that is by keeping the passion going when he talks to me. He makes me feel wanted and needed, and that helps a lot getting through this difficult separation. Another thing is that we try not to let things stress each other out by talking about heavy things on the phone. There is not much we can do from a distance, so we try to keep conversation light and positive, to keep our spirits up. We are supposed to be a comfort for each other. Sometimes when a person gets stressed, they have to remember that 'they are your garments, and you are their garments.'

[Darnell 8,478]

but she is not helping me

What type of help, exactly, are you seeking from her?