The hoping not to be denied at Casablanca thread

[Crossed_fingers 128]

Amen! This is totally my take on it - if you can't find a man in your own backyard what makes you think that you're sooooooo f'ing fabulous to someone 7,000 miles away. I swear, a greencard can give someone 3am love goggles. Just sayin'.

I like that way of wording it, too.

[zaytoona 8]

I like that way of wording it, too.

Hahahaha, yeah, I am dying over here!

[zaytoona 8]

Amen! This is totally my take on it - if you can't find a man in your own backyard what makes you think that you're sooooooo f'ing fabulous to someone 7,000 miles away. I swear, a greencard can give someone 3am love goggles. Just sayin'.

Hahaha, I can't stop laughing. In my case, I CAN find a man in my backyard but I don't WANT the men in my backyard. I like my men third-world and FOBulous!

[Always+Forever 7]

I like my men third-world and FOBulous!

LOVE IT

Needed a good laugh...thanks

Monica

[msheesha 548]

Glad the beer goggles college phrase can amuse folks to such a degree. Hadn't heard that since college days. I'm guessing for those dealing with the stress of upcoming interviews, waiting for word on past interviews, or dealing with denials, it takes more than a silly phrase to get amused.

Everyone knows the obvious red flags - huge age difference, children from past relationships, large disparity in physical appearance, etc, etc, etc.

I'd love to hear constructive thoughts about other issues that haven't been discussed ad nauseum. What about the question of religion. Stasshi, Zaytoona, any thoughts about that? What about the cases where both the USC and the beneficiary are pretty poor, but equally matched in the monetary situations? Out of the recent denials, how many of the Moroccan men were employed vs. unemployed? Is that a factor that the CO looks at?

[msheesha 548]

LOVE IT

Needed a good laugh...thanks

Monica

Really? Maybe I'm at a pms bi**chiness high, because I'm irritated and wanting to get back to more constructive, helpful discussion. Must just be me, cause everyone else seems to think it was hysterical!

[Always+Forever 7]

Glad the beer goggles college phrase can amuse folks to such a degree. Hadn't heard that since college days. I'm guessing for those dealing with the stress of upcoming interviews, waiting for word on past interviews, or dealing with denials, it takes more than a silly phrase to get amused.

Everyone knows the obvious red flags - huge age difference, children from past relationships, large disparity in physical appearance, etc, etc, etc.

I'd love to hear constructive thoughts about other issues that haven't been discussed ad nauseum. What about the question of religion. Stasshi, Zaytoona, any thoughts about that? What about the cases where both the USC and the beneficiary are pretty poor, but equally matched in the monetary situations? Out of the recent denials, how many of the Moroccan men were employed vs. unemployed? Is that a factor that the CO looks at?

Yeah...some of us just need a good laugh...helps relieve a tiny bit of the tension for a moment. As for employment....yes, my fiance is employed and had a letter from his employer stating his 5 yrs of working there. The only thing from your list I can see is my daughter....but if they were really concerned about it, i would think that would have addressed it at the interview...like i said before, the only thing they asked him about her was about my child support & how old she is...doesn't sound like concern to me.

Monica

[Staashi 371]

Actually, I think religion is very, very important to the USEM. They know that religion in Morocco isn't just an extraneous factor of life like in the US, but that it is culturally significant. I think they evaluate it thoroughly. In Argentina, the Catholic Church has such a major influence in everyday life - and since like 99% of the country is Catholic, one has to have an understanding of what that means to Argentines. In my experience with my husband, when we went through his interview, I had to pull out the Catholic card - which was: "I've already discerned our relationship to my priest, who has given his blessing and wrote a letter on our behalf - I think that if he believes our relationship is valid you should, too." I even said to her, "Are you Catholic?" to which she replied that yes she is. I said, "Girl, do you have any idea how hard it is to marry in the Church?" She laughed, said no and after a few more questions approved my husband's K1 visa. Lemme just say, that Islam has nothing on the Catholic Church when it comes to regulations for marriage.

[msheesha 548]

Thanks for your thoughts Staashi. Out of those who recently went through the process in Casa, or are going for an interview, one of the things to be prepared to address is the issue of religion.

[Jenn! 918]

I'm a day late and probably a dollar short on this aspect of the discussion, but thought I'd throw my two cents in here anyway.

I've seen a lot of couples go through Casablanca. And to be honest I've been skeptical of a majority of them. I've seen many of the relationships fail, but also many succeed as well, red flags and no/minimal red flags alike. I've started to be able to step outside of my previously narrow view of what constitutes a "normal" or "non-fraudulent" relationship. If you're having trouble swallowing some of the couples that you see in MENA, well, I know how you feel, but I also think you'd be surprised at what floats some people's boats if you know what I mean. Heck, I find myself doing it with totally conventional American couples as well (WTH does she see in *him*?!). While many of the USCs might not have been the ideal choice back in Morocco, that doesn't necessarily mean she is only a meal ticket. I do believe that most (not all) of these Moroccan men are genuine in their intent to form a lasting relationship with their petitioner. It might not always work out in the end, but they're not always biding their time until whichever immigration benefit goal.

I'm as big an advocate as anyone at knowing what you're up against when it comes to the consulate and being realistic about how others might view your relationship. That said, some of the comments in this thread appear to be simply denigrations of others' relationships under the disguise of being helpful/telling it like it is. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and I dare say that everyone on VJ is in a glass house just by virtue of being in an international and/or bi-cultural relationship.

Just wanted to get that off my chest...carry on.

[msheesha 548]

I think Jenn's points are excellent. Given that perspective, how then, do the CO's distinguish the difference between frauds and a beneficiary who has taste that strays from the norm?

[Miss smarty pants 84]

I'm a day late and probably a dollar short on this aspect of the discussion, but thought I'd throw my two cents in here anyway.

I've seen a lot of couples go through Casablanca. And to be honest I've been skeptical of a majority of them. I've seen many of the relationships fail, but also many succeed as well, red flags and no/minimal red flags alike. I've started to be able to step outside of my previously narrow view of what constitutes a "normal" or "non-fraudulent" relationship. If you're having trouble swallowing some of the couples that you see in MENA, well, I know how you feel, but I also think you'd be surprised at what floats some people's boats if you know what I mean. Heck, I find myself doing it with totally conventional American couples as well (WTH does she see in *him*?!). While many of the USCs might not have been the ideal choice back in Morocco, that doesn't necessarily mean she is only a meal ticket. I do believe that most (not all) of these Moroccan men are genuine in their intent to form a lasting relationship with their petitioner. It might not always work out in the end, but they're not always biding their time until whichever immigration benefit goal.

I'm as big an advocate as anyone at knowing what you're up against when it comes to the consulate and being realistic about how others might view your relationship. That said, some of the comments in this thread appear to be simply denigrations of others' relationships under the disguise of being helpful/telling it like it is. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and I dare say that everyone on VJ is in a glass house just by virtue of being in an international and/or bi-cultural relationship.

Just wanted to get that off my chest...carry on.

Well said. Anybody that's ever been to Disneyland has seen the oddest couples in the world the happiest they could ever be. I see some of my own co-workers husbands sometimes and wonder...how did that happen? But they are happy and in the end....I think that's all that matters. But I guess our Mena relationships are particularly subject to intense scrutiny by everyone....our friends, our family, our co-workers, the US government, (even the Moroccan govt~as I have seen), and by each other here on Vj.

I think this topic took a very negative turn today.

[msheesha 548]

I agree, i luv my fiance. I remember on an outing to the zoo looking around at what I thought were mismatched couples and thinking, wow, there really is a lid to every pot!

How are things going in Morocco?

[sandinista! 1,816]

that is a good question msheesha, and i imagine it must be very difficult to distinguish such delicate nuances in a relationship in a consulate interview. it's something i could discuss for hours with friends and family who all have their own unique and different reasons for being with their SOs, and still not even begin to cover all the fine details.

another thing i hate to see, and i have seen it rear its ugly head plenty of times on vj, is the slamming of mena females. it happens time and time again, where american women will swallow these awful generalizations they'll hear mena men say about mena women, hook line and sinker, and make it part of their own mantra. "mena women just care about money" "mena women are selfish, greedy, snobs, that's why i want to marry an american" then it turns into "see, that's why he loves me, all the women back home are just awful, blah blah blah" it pretty much sucks, and i get irate when i see it.

[Always+Forever 7]

Yeah...where did all the happy dances go???

Remember there was an APPROVAL this week...LOL

Wasn't there supposed to be another interview today???

How's your prep going Sarah??

Monica