Trying to price the entire process...

[sea-monkey 13]

No kids in the mix thankfully. No plans for any either on both sides

As for language skills, I think she speaks better than a lot of foreigners in this country. I have a bunch in my company, like Indians. She can speak English better than they can.

Edited September 23, 2010 by sea-monkey

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

No kids in the mix thankfully. No plans for any either on both sides

As for language skills, I think she speaks better than a lot of foreigners in this country. I have a bunch in my company, like Indians. She can speak English better than they can.

I hope all your plans work out.

[SMR 368]

No kids in the mix thankfully. No plans for any either on both sides

As for language skills, I think she speaks better than a lot of foreigners in this country. I have a bunch in my company, like Indians. She can speak English better than they can.

I, too, hope that all your plans work out and I don't want to argue with you. But I really think you aught to put some thought into how she is going to get a job. Good English skills are a prerequisite to most jobs but they aren't really enough on their own. After all, 9% of Americans that want to be employed are unemployed and most of them speak English.

Some jobs are importable; others are not. Business, accounting, management, and law are not going to cross the border very well since systems and business culture are different (American to Russian is a little different story). Technical degrees and skills cross borders but a Russian technical degree will not be given the same weight as an American one. You'll need to prove yourself in these fields. Teaching, childcare, and medicine will likely require certification or residencies to legally work (depending on the childcare). Service industry jobs are importable but you know what kind of money you'll make. My point is just that just because she has a good job in Russia and can speak English well doesn't necessarily mean it'll be easy to find a job here. There are lots of Americans looking and they can speak well, too.

Edited September 24, 2010 by SMR

[baron555 934]

I, too, hope that all your plans work out and I don't want to argue with you. But I really think you aught to put some thought into how she is going to get a job. Good English skills are a prerequisite to most jobs but they aren't really enough on their own. After all, 9% of Americans that want to be employed are unemployed and most of them speak English.

Some jobs are importable; others are not. Business, accounting, management, and law are not going to cross the border very well since systems and business culture are different (American to Russian is a little different story). Technical degrees and skills cross borders but a Russian technical degree will not be given the same weight as an American one. You'll need to prove yourself in these fields. Teaching, childcare, and medicine will likely require certification or residencies to legally work (depending on the childcare). Service industry jobs are importable but you know what kind of money you'll make. My point is just that just because she has a good job in Russia and can speak English well doesn't necessarily mean it'll be easy to find a job here. There are lots of Americans looking and they can speak well, too.

I will second SMR's comments. Alla has been here 10 months, increasing her English skills, however we talked about what kind of job she may be able to find over a year before she even set foot here. It's very very important that you two talk about this now; it WILL NOT be easy.

And the income/expenses discussion needs to occur now also. You have a lot of work to do now and even more to do when she gets here.

It is all worth it but you both have work to do.

[workin4somethin 0]

Hi folks! New guy in town here.

I've read hours and hours through the boards and downloaded all of the forms. I think I’ve got a little grasp of the process, but I’m still very green on this subject…

I’m trying to get a ballpark figure on what people spent on the ordeal to get their ladies here. Filing fees, medical checks, plane trips to E. Europe for the interviews, postage for documents, etc. $5k? $10k?

I’m trying to balance and juggle saving for the filing process (documents, plane, etc), car for her, small Vegas/Hawaii type wedding and paying off my own stuff like credit cards and car note. I’m well above the 125% poverty rate. How much money are they going to want to see in the bank from me from on the I-134 form? The only real asset I have is a car. Towards the end of the process, I might just end up with a few grand left. Would this meet the requirements for the process?

Thanks in advanced.

There are many good posts here. It seems to me that you have enough money to start the process and see it through (so why not go ahead and do so?). Her frame of mind and what she learns once she's here are very important issues. Try to make certain that she understands what you are telling her about your life and your personal finances; and, don't candy-coat anything. The transition to life and culture over here will be one of the, if not the, most difficult things for her - and for you to understand. If she is Orthodox, locate a Church for her. With her language skills, she should be able to go to work rather quickly, compared to many Russian women who move here. Staying busy and having some responsibility(ies) will be important for her and for your marriage. There are going to be many different expenses for you; luckily, they do not hit you all at once. Best of luck!

[sea-monkey 13]

Looks like my original concerns of the cost to bring her here isn’t that big of a concern, it’s the cost after she gets here

I’m getting more hesitant each day Her English is good, but with the job market the way it is, it’s not going to be easy to find good work regardless of who you are. I don’t think she’ll like the idea of working at Target or at the mall. She’s in an office environment now and from time to time, travels to western Euro countries on business.

I’ve been running the numbers on one income and I don’t like the looks of it. My monthly expenses are on a spreadsheet and I’m running simulations. I’m comfortable now. Even if I break even while living on my own, I would be a little stressed but ok as long as all of the bills are paid and have enough to eat. Just breaking even with 2 people would be double the stress for me in addition to her being stressed out. She does knows the finacial situation here and that we'll sink if she doesn't get a job within 2 years. No sugar coating on my end. If anything, I'm overly dramatic with the situation.

But on the flip side, if she wants out of RU so badly, she’ll have to deal with possibly not living so comfortably here until she starts working. She hates Moscow, done with the snow, so on so on...I’ve lived on a shoestring budget before and made it ok. A lot of immigrants are very successful in this country. They work hard, most of the time harder than Americans. She is motivated to earn a living so that’s a plus.

There are some Orthodox churches and European markets under 1 hours drive from me.

[1HappyGuy 45]

It sounds like you have a good understanding of costs and know how to budget. Changing situations are always a little frightening but you have to look at the overall analysis. Her motivation should be that she wants to be with you, not just getting out of Moscow. Your motivation is to have a loving, caring wife that will build a future with you and who you are in love with.

After that, everything else has a way of working its self out. If you wait until you can afford to be married, you will never marry. The same can be said for having children. If you are concerned about her English not being up to office work quality, well it won't get much better in Moscow, but will definitely improve once she is surrounded by so many English speakers.

It sounds like you are just getting a case of nerves, but make sure you are planning to go through this for the right reasons.

[sea-monkey 13]

Her motivations for wanting to be here would be something like this:

75% getting out of RU, 25% being with me

But I'm ok with it. It sure beats falling head over heels for someone…It makes one do stupid things. I would never give up my life here to go to RU to live with her. Too cold there, the people and weather. We were friends for over 2 years before she ever mentioned she wanted to live here. If it were in w. Europe or one of the former satellite countries, I’d move

We do talk every weekday as she drives to work and try to do the same if she drives anywhere on the weekend if the opportunity is there. Doing so for nearly a year now. So I do have a grasp of who I'm dealing with and so does she.

[baron555 934]

75% getting out of RU, 25% being with me

…It makes one do stupid things.

I am glad that you have a realistic view of your relationship. Having that will go far towards making it a happy and forever one

You are a saint for allowing her to move here with you; usually as soon as she is established then you both will move on. Good luck.

[jimnlena 8]

I guess I am into this for about 8700 if you do not count, things like phone, new car, higher insurance, her lost wages waiting for work permit etc. If all that is figured closer to 25k. But I must say it was worth every penny!!!

[slim 1,523]

She’s also saving up on her end to cover for personal items once she gets here.

Have her save for a plane ticket and car too. You said she has a car already, right? That ought to bring in a little cash once she sells it, won't it? Also, she should start offloading personal ####### like her furniture and electronics, etc.

Have her scrap all her "girly" stuff there at home and buy new here. There's no reason to lug bottles of shampoo on the trip over. She can't use her hair dryer here anyway and it'll almost even out over the cost of shipping and/or carrying in luggage on the plane. Plus, she'll have to find her brand here anyway so it'll hasten along that process.

Do NOT have her bring her personal library of books. HEAVY!!! She should be selling anything that doesn't fit in her two suitcases and using that money to purchase the ticket or for buying new stuff when she gets here. Since she lives in Moscow, she ought to be able to cover the complete interview process herself. This is starting to look cheaper and cheaper, isn't it?

Keep in mind, a K-1 will not be able to work for some months after arrival.......

putting her in a position of "have to" wipe tables or clean hotel rooms

She can work immediately if she wants to. She may not "desire" to work at these jobs that are "below her" but then again, she may not want to sit at home all day pouting either.

Slim's wife seems to accept not returning to Russia for four years. Mine will accept not returning for four months, and I can stretch it to 6 months.

My wife can't afford to return to Russia. She's free to return whenever she wants. If you'll notice in Gary's posts, his wife PAYS for their trips to Ukraine. (Of course, he pays for everything else, but it appears to her that she's paying for her own trips back.)

As Slim says, we are here to help but you will find us to be a diverse bunch and you can take it all in and decide for yourself.

Gary and I represent the two extremes of this process.

And the income/expenses discussion needs to occur now also. You have a lot of work to do now and even more to do when she gets here.

She needs to understand when you make $1000 a month, you really only have about $10 left over at the end of the pay period. You don't make $1000 and have $1000, you make $1000 and have $10 because everything in America costs money. She should also understand her contribution to this equation is directly proportional to the shared standard of living.

Good luck with that one.

Looks like my original concerns of the cost to bring her here isn’t that big of a concern, it’s the cost after she gets here

Once again, that's all on you. If you're content paying your wife to play homemaker and/or naughty school girl, she'll probably be content to do so. However, if you expect her to show up and earn her keep, she'll probably also do so.

I don’t think she’ll like the idea of working at Target or at the mall. She’s in an office environment now and from time to time, travels to western Euro countries on business.

She's not coming here on an employer-sponsored work visa, is she? If not, then she should reasonably expect to work a job consistent with her skills and looks. She should have no problem landing a "decent" job. She's not going to be jetting off around the country and, as my wife says, "wear nice dress and answer phone and manage office like I did before in Russia" but she very well could work full-time at Target and bring home $300 a week.

Like most Russians, she'll probably be just as apt to work odd jobs here and there and still bring home $300 a week.

I’ve been running the numbers ....... within 2 years.

If you're running numbers for two years... you're going to be just fine. I'm running numbers for two weeks and we've been making it for four years. Sure, she's not thrilled to be working where she's working but she always seems to have money and drives a new car around. She's also about to go on her third vacation of this year (while I'm stuck here working.) Not bad for someone who works about 14 hours a week.

But on the flip side, if she wants out of RU so badly, she’ll have to deal with possibly not living so comfortably here until she starts working.

When in Rome....

I am glad that you have a realistic view of your relationship. Having that will go far towards making it a happy and forever one

Seriously, this is the key. Don't BS or sugar-coat anything. Tell her how it is and what you expect of her and then stick to your guns.

Or, if you have the money, throw as much as you want at her. She'll be good either way.

I guess I am into this for about 8700 if you do not count, things like phone, new car, higher insurance, her lost wages waiting for work permit etc. If all that is figured closer to 25k. But I must say it was worth every penny!!!

I don't know where you guys are getting these numbers from. I guess that'd be like me saying "I've been paying rent and buying groceries" and then counting that as part of the "cost of this process." I guess you could count that as the cost, but wouldn't you have to deduct what you'd be paying anyway?

Phone? If she's sitting at home not working.... what does she need a mobile for?

New Car? Uh..... why can't she work and save to buy one? She can't pay for a car herself?

Higher insurance? Again... her expense, her payment, right?

Lost wages? I'm sorry. Was she helping you pay your bills before she came here?

I realize there are "extra" expenses involved after she gets here and yes, for the first few months, you are going to come WAY out of pocket to buy her stuff. But..... wouldn't you be spending all that taking your girlfriend out on dates and to the movies, etc., anyway? I mean, if you were in a "traditional" relationship with a future fat ugly here, you'd be spending the same amount of dough, right?

Saying this is "extra" or "part of it" is flat-out false. You wouldn't expect to finance your Uggs and PJs porker, would you? Yet, for some reason, it seems to be OK to do so for a MOB. If that's OK for you, go for it. If you think that's crazy, save your money, have fun when she gets here, but don't worry about having enough to pay for everything she wants because like her homegrown half-sisters, it'll never be enough anyway.

[sea-monkey 13]

I think I figured out a way for the govt to cover my filing fees and some travel cost. Going back to last year’s tax return, I replaced filing status: single w/no dependents to married/joint just to see the amount I would get back. Instead of owing about $160 like I do each year, I would get about $4,000 back from Uncle Sam being married to a nonworking spouse =)

[baron555 934]

I think I figured out a way for the govt to cover my filing fees and some travel cost. Going back to last year’s tax return, I replaced filing status: single w/no dependents to married/joint just to see the amount I would get back. Instead of owing about $160 like I do each year, I would get about $4,000 back from Uncle Sam being married to a nonworking spouse =)

I don't think you've got anything to worry about. Since your relationship is only at 25%, she will most likely leave you once she becomes settled here (since her main goal is to get out of Russia). You'll want to stay "poor" that way she won't have anything to go after. Then you'll be on your own and all will balance out. Most of us here have relationships at or near 100%, so we're in it for the longer haul.

[sea-monkey 13]

Well, I was exaggerating about the percentages I wouldn't go through with such a thing if that were the case. Divorice is not a process I would like to go through ever

[slim 1,523]

I think I figured out a way for the govt to cover my filing fees and some travel cost. Going back to last year’s tax return, I replaced filing status: single w/no dependents to married/joint just to see the amount I would get back. Instead of owing about $160 like I do each year, I would get about $4,000 back from Uncle Sam being married to a nonworking spouse =)

You'll get quite a bit of tax savings if she stays non-working. Hell, my wife works and she still helps us on taxes since she doesn't bring in that much money. Then again, getting married for the tax benes is like having kids for the same reason - NOT WORTH IT!

I don't think you've got anything to worry about. Since your relationship is only at 25%, she will most likely leave you once she becomes settled here (since her main goal is to get out of Russia). You'll want to stay "poor" that way she won't have anything to go after. Then you'll be on your own and all will balance out. Most of us here have relationships at or near 100%, so we're in it for the longer haul.

My percentages are pretty low too.... yet she's still here.