How To Approach This Red Flag

[discoduck1975 0]

After I got out of college 8 years ago, I wrote to, phoned, emailed ect. a few girls in the Philippines. I was just browsing the net one night and came across a small site. Because the site was small many of the girls were from the same general area. Anyway, after graduation I went to visit three girls. All from the same island 2 from the same town of 50,000 people. Anyway, I wound up getting engaged to my now ex. The other girl I visited but shied away from because of my own inmaturaty (she had a small child) is now my fiancee. After my divorce (I was married 5 years) I got back in touch with her and we are now engaged. The thing is, she is the half aunt of my ex wife. My fiancee is the half sister of my ex's wife's mother. My fiancee and I are the same age and my ex and I are only 3 years apart so the aunt thing is very strange. My fiancee's family isn't crazy about the situation and neither are my parents, but I'm just trying to live my life and be happy. I feel like this time I made the right choice. It's a rough situation because these 2 sides of the family are mortal enemies and the whole situation is just so f'ed, but this is just how things have worked out.

So, after this long explanation do we say nothing unless asked? My fiancee knows who my wife is, but she doesn't know her. Her half sister (wife of my ex) was from an earlier marriage and they haven't spoken in 20 years. The only question they could have at the interview is that they were both born in the same town. Is my past petion for my wife going to be sitting there during the interview. I don't want to look like I'm hiding anything, but I also don't want things to look worse than they are. Damn this is so messed up.

[cheeky^Wolf 0]

I would think any previous marriage or petition would be a redflag, however I would think whether they are distantly related or not wouldn't. It's not like they are sisters. I'm no expert on this, but I'm sure some on here would be able to give you more insight into it.

You will be asked on your application about previous marriages.

Sounds like you have your work cut out to have the families accept the situation too, good luck.

Edited August 18, 2006 by cheeky^Wolf

[Yodrak 7]

discoduck,

Answer questions to the full extent of what has been asked. Otherwise you would be hiding something.

No need to expand the scope of what has been asked or answer questions that have not been asked. That is not hiding things.

Yodrak

After I got out of college 8 years ago, I wrote to, phoned, emailed ect. a few girls in the Philippines. I was just browsing the net one night and came across a small site. Because the site was small many of the girls were from the same general area. Anyway, after graduation I went to visit three girls. All from the same island 2 from the same town of 50,000 people. Anyway, I wound up getting engaged to my now ex. The other girl I visited but shied away from because of my own inmaturaty (she had a small child) is now my fiancee. After my divorce (I was married 5 years) I got back in touch with her and we are now engaged. The thing is, she is the half aunt of my ex wife. My fiancee is the half sister of my ex's wife's mother. My fiancee and I are the same age and my ex and I are only 3 years apart so the aunt thing is very strange. My fiancee's family isn't crazy about the situation and neither are my parents, but I'm just trying to live my life and be happy. I feel like this time I made the right choice. It's a rough situation because these 2 sides of the family are mortal enemies and the whole situation is just so f'ed, but this is just how things have worked out.

So, after this long explanation do we say nothing unless asked? My fiancee knows who my wife is, but she doesn't know her. Her half sister (wife of my ex) was from an earlier marriage and they haven't spoken in 20 years. The only question they could have at the interview is that they were both born in the same town. Is my past petion for my wife going to be sitting there during the interview. I don't want to look like I'm hiding anything, but I also don't want things to look worse than they are. Damn this is so messed up.

[discoduck1975 0]

That's what I figured. If asked then she should tell the truth. If not why ramble on about everything and anything. I just know she would be so nervous even though there's nothing wrong. For her sake I just hope the question never comes up.

Thanks for all your help Yodrak. Once I get my petion and experiences rolling, I hope to be help others out here.

[garya505 2]

After I got out of college 8 years ago, I wrote to, phoned, emailed ect. a few girls in the Philippines. I was just browsing the net one night and came across a small site. Because the site was small many of the girls were from the same general area. Anyway, after graduation I went to visit three girls. All from the same island 2 from the same town of 50,000 people. Anyway, I wound up getting engaged to my now ex. The other girl I visited but shied away from because of my own inmaturaty (she had a small child) is now my fiancee. After my divorce (I was married 5 years) I got back in touch with her and we are now engaged. The thing is, she is the half aunt of my ex wife. My fiancee is the half sister of my ex's wife's mother. My fiancee and I are the same age and my ex and I are only 3 years apart so the aunt thing is very strange. My fiancee's family isn't crazy about the situation and neither are my parents, but I'm just trying to live my life and be happy. I feel like this time I made the right choice. It's a rough situation because these 2 sides of the family are mortal enemies and the whole situation is just so f'ed, but this is just how things have worked out.

So, after this long explanation do we say nothing unless asked? My fiancee knows who my wife is, but she doesn't know her. Her half sister (wife of my ex) was from an earlier marriage and they haven't spoken in 20 years. The only question they could have at the interview is that they were both born in the same town. Is my past petion for my wife going to be sitting there during the interview. I don't want to look like I'm hiding anything, but I also don't want things to look worse than they are. Damn this is so messed up.

duck - I wouldn't worry about it unless she is really YOUR sister!

[wodengdaini 0]

The VO or others involved may want to know if your now ex-wife is still in the USA. Because she is releated to your now fiance it may well indeed raise more questions, if she is still in the USA, if it comes up.

Always speak the truth, but only answer what is asked.