Interview is coming soon

[sachinky 465]

The kids would have to be 21 (or is it 18) before they can petition for mom.

[The Mother 0]

Thanks to everyone for sharing concern.

Both my children have US passport. However he kept them all. With the 1st child, we both went to the consulate to pick up ROBA and passport, he just showed them to me at the consulate and kept them ever since. He told me that he needs to have my child passport to apply for her SSN, insurance and so on. No passport, nothing he can do. I live in VN, I do not know how things work in USA and I let him have the passport. As for the 2nd child, we could get the passport when we came back to the consulate due to some AP. In fact, I was waiting for him outside when he came inside to pick up the passport, I did not know that he already planned to have the consulate send him the passport to US by mail. He lied to me that we would have to wait for a few more days, he has to leave for US the next day, therefore we would have to pick it up when he return to VN next time. In sum, he has passports of my children as well as ROBA. For my up coming interview, he gave me copies of those. I have asked him to give me an original one of one of my children coz I am a mother, I have the same right. He said he would not send me any.

He's kind of controlling and self-important. Every time he's upset with me, he asked me to give him back whatever he bought me such as clothes, shoes and hide soap or toothpaste so that I have nothing to use. Much worse he won't let me put on clothes for the kids that he bought them, empty the kids' shampoo or body wash and so on. The last time he was angry, he took everything that are for the kids, such as clothes, shoes, dvd, toys, dvd player... I mean everything, dump them all outside of street and have people pick them up. The kids were crying like crazy, specially the older one, she said dada is bad. When he's calm down, he said he was wrong to do so, yet he was so angry. I can understand he's upset with me and he wants to get me back, the kids are innocent, a father should never done such thing. I am not saying that he has done nothing for us, when he's in a good mood, he goes shop for us, anything that we need like medicine, new clothes for the kids, milk and so on...

He hates so much the white. Awhile ago, he said his father was Persian (Now is Iran), for my interview he was trying to explain about his background, then he said his father was Canadian, mother was USC. He has many different citizenship because when he was young, his parents lived in many different countries. Overall, it sounds to me that he's ashamed of his background and where he came from. He has been talked big about himself, he's better than thousand people out there, he has knowledge more than any white people, most of them live in US, yet know nothing about the country and so on. He said to me that he intend to become a lawyer, he already studied for 2 years. He's very controlling, I am afraid that he will take the kids away from me once I'm in the US because I am not a citizen, has no money, I am not in a potition to provide them things as he does, therefore he will be in charge of the kids. I can't afford to lose my children, they are reason I am here now today.

There's many time he threaten me, he will prevent me from going to different country. I already told him that I've changed my mind, I will not go to interview. I will stay here in VN. It's my own decision. He said he was not upset ... From deep down I know he piss off, he said I am stupid, I do not care about the future of the kids, I prevent them to have a better future, live in a safe and healthy environment. It's not true, he is the one that made decision to have the kids to be born here and grow up without him until now. At the same time he speak scornfully of VN and specially his own children, because they are also Vietnamese.

Since he already refused to send me passport of the kids as well as have plan to destroy me. I will not allow him to talk to the kids anymore. I don't think he deserves. My kids have been growing without him, they speak more Vietnamese and little English, it would make no difference if they do not talk to him. I'm FREE

Once again, thank you to all of you

[Penny Lane 8,159]

You've made the right decision, I think, for you and your children. I wish you the best of luck.

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

Thanks to everyone for sharing concern.

Both my children have US passport. However he kept them all. With the 1st child, we both went to the consulate to pick up ROBA and passport, he just showed them to me at the consulate and kept them ever since. He told me that he needs to have my child passport to apply for her SSN, insurance and so on. No passport, nothing he can do. I live in VN, I do not know how things work in USA and I let him have the passport. As for the 2nd child, we could get the passport when we came back to the consulate due to some AP. In fact, I was waiting for him outside when he came inside to pick up the passport, I did not know that he already planned to have the consulate send him the passport to US by mail. He lied to me that we would have to wait for a few more days, he has to leave for US the next day, therefore we would have to pick it up when he return to VN next time. In sum, he has passports of my children as well as ROBA. For my up coming interview, he gave me copies of those. I have asked him to give me an original one of one of my children coz I am a mother, I have the same right. He said he would not send me any.

He's kind of controlling and self-important. Every time he's upset with me, he asked me to give him back whatever he bought me such as clothes, shoes and hide soap or toothpaste so that I have nothing to use. Much worse he won't let me put on clothes for the kids that he bought them, empty the kids' shampoo or body wash and so on. The last time he was angry, he took everything that are for the kids, such as clothes, shoes, dvd, toys, dvd player... I mean everything, dump them all outside of street and have people pick them up. The kids were crying like crazy, specially the older one, she said dada is bad. When he's calm down, he said he was wrong to do so, yet he was so angry. I can understand he's upset with me and he wants to get me back, the kids are innocent, a father should never done such thing. I am not saying that he has done nothing for us, when he's in a good mood, he goes shop for us, anything that we need like medicine, new clothes for the kids, milk and so on...

He hates so much the white. Awhile ago, he said his father was Persian (Now is Iran), for my interview he was trying to explain about his background, then he said his father was Canadian, mother was USC. He has many different citizenship because when he was young, his parents lived in many different countries. Overall, it sounds to me that he's ashamed of his background and where he came from. He has been talked big about himself, he's better than thousand people out there, he has knowledge more than any white people, most of them live in US, yet know nothing about the country and so on. He said to me that he intend to become a lawyer, he already studied for 2 years. He's very controlling, I am afraid that he will take the kids away from me once I'm in the US because I am not a citizen, has no money, I am not in a potition to provide them things as he does, therefore he will be in charge of the kids. I can't afford to lose my children, they are reason I am here now today.

There's many time he threaten me, he will prevent me from going to different country. I already told him that I've changed my mind, I will not go to interview. I will stay here in VN. It's my own decision. He said he was not upset ... From deep down I know he piss off, he said I am stupid, I do not care about the future of the kids, I prevent them to have a better future, live in a safe and healthy environment. It's not true, he is the one that made decision to have the kids to be born here and grow up without him until now. At the same time he speak scornfully of VN and specially his own children, because they are also Vietnamese.

Since he already refused to send me passport of the kids as well as have plan to destroy me. I will not allow him to talk to the kids anymore. I don't think he deserves. My kids have been growing without him, they speak more Vietnamese and little English, it would make no difference if they do not talk to him. I'm FREE

Once again, thank you to all of you

I have read your post and man.. this is not good. I also think that the right choice was made. To have someone also speak scornfully of the kids - can he get any lower... he is curing his own blood, is he stable in the mind? Perhaps at ths point the questions maybe best left unanswered since a decision was made.

[sweet honesty 0]

I first met my fiance on a dating website 5 years ago, after 5 months exchanged emails and chatting we met in person and engaged 3 months later. We discussed a lot about having a family together and apply for K1 visa both before and after we met. 3 months after our engagement, he came back to visit me the 3rd time and have me sign in the forms for K1 visa. During his 3rd visit I got pregnant our first child. I have no idea he has no intention to be with me from the beginning, I thought he was serious and wanted to have a family with children, that's why he gave me the forms to sign in. He told me that he submitted the petition, I did believed him. I was extremely in a bad health and suffer a lot while I was pregnant, I wanted so much to be with my fiance and have him take care of me, give me a better treatment in a different environment, support my spirit. Every time I asked him what was going on with the process, he said there's nothing he could do but wait. About 5 months later, he told me that the petition was returned because the stamp on his divorce certificate came off for some reason, the uscis would't accept it and they required for another one within one month since the date they ask for it. He did not check his mail box (P.O box), therefore he has to submit the whole thing again (fill in the forms, pay fee...so on). There won't be enough time if he re-submit again the petition because I was 5 months pregnant at the time, he said we should wait until our child born, we would apply passport for the child and then re-submit the petition. Time went by, our first child was born. Since the condition and environment we live down here in VN, he complains about my people, my country and every single thing that is going on here every day, we began fight and argument a lot, he even hit my stomach after I gave birth to the child one week. When our first child was 8 months age, I got pregnant the 2nd time. I thought about having abortion for many reasons, I was not completely recovered yet, the child was too young, need a lot of attention and care. I was not so sure what to do. I kept the child, she is now 2 years and half...

My fiance came to VN to support me when I gave birth to the 2nd child. He works for a college as instructor, he has lots of time off. He visited me every 3 or 4 months before the 2nd child was born. After that, we had argument a lot more, he did not return until our 2 child was 15 months. There's time he stopped supporting 3 of us, about 4 months. We had a very difficult time, no money to pay for food as well as rent. We had to ask for support from my sister and friends. I talked about sending the kids to school so that I can go to work, he always find a reason this or that to have me stay home take care of the kids. I decided to stay home for a couple more years to take care of the children until they can eat well and in a better health. That's reason why I was in such a bad condition when he stopped supporting. He appolozied and want to get back to me and the kids, he talked about us being together again. I have always wanted to have a family and the kids to have both real father and mother, I also thought about the kids future. I accepted him again. I never discuss about K1 visa with him again, until we got back together and he talked about apply for K1 visa in May 2009. Once again he never mention anything about visa thing during the period of time he visited us in summer time. In middle September '09 he told me that he hired a service to prepare paperwork for us and already submit petition in October (He can't remember what date he submit it). In late November, I called the guy that did the paperwork for us, he told me that my fiance just returned the forms with signature of mine few days ago. We had big fight over this, I said if he already submitted the petition, he should hear from the uscis by now, the website says clearly that it takes 2 business days or a couple weeks to mail the NOA1, there're thousand people out there talk about how to get a receipt number by looking at the back of the check. He said he did not see anything when he checked his bank account online, he needs to go to the bank to ask for it, he does not know what I was talking about, I always listen to stupid dumb white ####(He's from Dominica) online, I have no knowdlege how things work... bla bla. Late December '09 he came back to visit us, he said he has not heard from uscis, nothing at all. I knew he was telling lie, I have no way to prove it. He returned to US the end of January '10, he said he called the uscis so many times, they said they already sent out NOA1 3 times and he never got it. In late Feb '10 he said he would go to see lawyer or uscis office.. bla bla, then few days later he said he called his friend knowing that the uscis sent a letter to his friend address (He said he used his friend address because he knew he would be down in VN for awhile), at the same time he called his bank and he has someone from the bank delivered the check, he saw the receipt number and so on... We were approved less than 2 months since NOA1. I have received appointment letter from HCMC Consulate, he came down here spend almost 3 months with me and the kids and to give me documents that are needed for the interview. He did not spend any time to discuss with me about the up coming interview until 4 days before he left VN, we went to print emails, transfer pictures from his flash drive into CD-rom, form I-134 and so on. The night before he left, he sat down and gave me documents as well as air tickets, money transfer receipts, divorce certificate... At that time, he told me that he was married twice, not once. The 2nd marriage was not really official, he used to live in CO, he said as the law in CO, after 2 years you live with someone, the person is considered your wife or husband. He never told me about this, he said he married a Chinese woman for one month, then divorced because she only wanted a GC. It was not true, his 1st marriage was last for 11 years with a black woman, the 2nd was with a Chinese woman for 2 years. He said it is not important, yes I don't care how many time he got married before, it is important that he is honest with me. He has no birth certificate either, he said his real age is different from his passport and other documents, when he was young, he wanted to join military, therefore his parents had someone make him another birth certificate and change the year when he was born, up to 10 more years older than his real age. He gave me his certificate of naturalation and copy of his passport. That's how I found down he was from Dominica. He told me that he was born in US, grew up in NY, lived in many different states, he gave me so many different addresses every time. When we began to file for K1 visa again, he gave me his self-storage address (I had a friend in a US find down from a real estate website), sometime he uses the same address, yet he told me that it was his friend address, another time he signed his name saying he is residing there and he owns the place.. bla bla... On the form I-134 he signed, I found out that he submitted the petition in Febuary '10, not October. He gave me a very bullshit reason that he was in hurry, he forgot to sign the form I-129F, it took over a month to receive it back, by the time he got it back, we had some argument and fight, therefore he decided not to submit again. What pissed me off is he was not honest with me from time to time, from the begining we met, he lied about the process, he admitted that he never submitted it, he gave me all kind of reasons and fool me non-stop, this time I thought he learned from his mistakes and want to make up for us, he would try his best and make an effort to get it done as soon as possible instead of telling lie, give me different story each time, I was wrong again, he took it for fun, whatever... He said he is proud of living in US, has a better life and live with human being, not like us in VN, we live like animals, stupid and poor... At the same time he made decision for his children to be born and grow up here, my first daughter is almost 4, we've been living here in a poor country and we are proud. I'm fed up with him telling lies, if he does care about all of us, he would have done something earlier and we all could have been together by now. 5 years, I had two abortion (when I have time, I will talk about this matter) and gave birth to 2 daughters with him, waiting and waiting... If I have to go to US now, the only reason attract me is education for my girls. I dont really think it does has to be USA, there's lot of Vietnamese success here in my country and have a comfortable life. He made decision for them to be born here from the beginning, I have no control over this. When they are old enough, they will make their own decision to be with him or me... I've gone through so much, was abused, hit, offend, disrespect, pain and torture. At this point he talks about being together, he still hide where he he lives and who he is. 5 years is unhappy time of my life, I am not sure I want to go to US. I think it would be different if he was honest with me about what he did, who he was and what he really wanted.

i really think u should drop his #### he is a lier and will never change. he can't live in usa if heis like that. thats a disgrace to america people for him to act like that. sounds like he wants to live in VN not his own country. i mean get real he was expose to be married to a black woman and a chineese get real the dam seals dont come off divorce papers.unless it was ripped off.he didnt want them born in usa cause he would have to pay child support on them. he doesnt know how to tell the truth thats been proven you deserve better in your life so please think about what u do and i wish you the best just be careful what u do.

[sweet honesty 0]

I have read your post and man.. this is not good. I also think that the right choice was made. To have someone also speak scornfully of the kids - can he get any lower... he is curing his own blood, is he stable in the mind? Perhaps at ths point the questions maybe best left unanswered since a decision was made.

i would not let him see them or talk with them he doesnt sound like he is a usc but if so he can use their passports but they want be good in usa cause they wasnt born in usa. but be careful sounds like he has many personialtys and thats a dangerious s...t to fool with.

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

i would not let him see them or talk with them he doesnt sound like he is a usc but if so he can use their passports but they want be good in usa cause they wasnt born in usa. but be careful sounds like he has many personialtys and thats a dangerious s...t to fool with.

The spoken truth.

[kennym 275]

The Mother

Sometimes you just wish this kind of guy could get the justice he deserves.. I am sorry, especially if he's a USC, but regardless I am sorry this happened to you.. You sound like a very honest and responsible person to have taken care of your children the way you have and to consider their welfare. It is very sad that a scum-bags like this guy can treat you this way...

I am very very sorry.. don't give up, there must be a way your children can secure thier passports especially with copies of the Report of Birth Abroad, you can likely go to the Embassy and find out how to get stamped copies from the US Dept of State.. These are available, just not sure what you need to do to get originals from VN..

Either way, if you meet some nice sincere american gentlemen in the future or your children decide they want to come to the US when they're older, it would be good to have these documents.. Do you have the Birth Certificates with the fathers name? Either way, the Report of Birth abroad can serve as the Birth Certificate I beleive... Also, check in to the birth Certificate from the Dept of state as well.. If he filed the report of birth Abroad, then the DOS should have a Birth Certificate as well and you can request copies from them which will have the official raised seal..

Kenny

[Aidenaileen 1]

Let me see. Now you go by yourself to USA, leave children home with granpa when they are big take them with you. You go first earning money and come back get them. How is it sound?

[The Mother 0]

@Kenny : Thank you for encouraging me. I have not spent much time to do research about what I need to do to get original passports of my children from VN. I remember all the way back in early 2009, I went to the US consulate to ask how to claim for child support from my fiance, they said that there's nothing they can do for me because we are not married, the only way I can do is go discuss with the father. I am not a USC, I can't go inside to talk to CO, just the worker at the information window outside. As for birth certificate of my kids, like I said we are not married, the kids were born in VN. Therefore their Vietnamese BC only have my name as a mother. The report of birth abroad, he filed for them and have both my name and his name as parents...

In the last couple days, I meant since I told him that I would stay down here in VN, he's been so angry. He said I have no right to keep passports of the kids coz I am not a USC, those are only for USC. There's no way I can get another one for them either, but he can because he has the right. As I have my name on the ROBA, I think I have enough qualify to ask for another passport as representative, a mother. I will find out.

I know he will give me a hard time. He has always thought, as sure as eggs is eggs, that my dream is go to USA, therefore I will trade anything to go and whatever happen, how he treats me, I will go for sure. He is shocked and angry to know that I refused to go. He called many times a day and scream on the phone that I wasted his time and money, he said the money for petition and notarize documents cost up to #2.000usd (I have no idea it costs that much just to notarize some documents, I know the fee is 450usd), not include the cost he's been travelled to VN, support us during the last 5 years and so on. I do not come to the US mean we end our long distance relationship. He said I may meet someone else and start my life all over again, he's at a big lost, he will lost the kids and the money, nobody will pay him back for what he has spent for. Think about the money he has lost and spent on us, think about not be able to be with the kids, he got really mad. For I can't pay for his lost, he will #### me up, wipe me out, report me to all over the world. Later he sent me an email that he wrote to the consulate, saying that I'm using forged personal documents, I am part of a child pornography network operating out of the USA, international crime, murder...through my reckless disregard for the rule of law would more than likely continue to engage in criminal activities if allowed to enter the US, or any other country. I don't deserve to be considered any other kind of visa that will permit me to enter the US or any other developed nation... These sound really stupid, funny and ridiculous to me, it does not matter what he said, he can't prevent me from going to different countries as long as I meet the requirements... He said to me when we first met that he wants a woman who is a bit naive, not well-educated, not like American women who is foxy and know too much about life. I think it's time for him to pay for what he did, what goes around comes around.

@thanhphong : thank you for your suggestion.. It's impossible to go to the US without my children because there's no way he will allow them to live in VN while we are in the US. I also think he does really not want to bring me to the US, he just wants the kids. Many times in the past he said he would come down here and pick up the kids. Coz they can't leave VN without VN passport, he has no choice but bring all of us. I'll make sure I am the one carry passport for my children in any case.

[Ryan H 3,812]

You made the right decision, for yourself and your children.

Best wishes to you and your children on a brighter future minus this jerk.

[LongRX7 6]

Touching....You definitely made the right choice. Living in the US should not come at the sacrifice of your dignity. From what I read...I know it won't get any better when you come over here. His anger is uncontrolled...it will only get worse. Apologies, after those types of actions don't erase the pain. I hope all women out there, never accept the fact that it is alright to get hit by a man, if he apologizes. Real men don't hit women. I hope the best for you. You sound like an intelligent woman, I think you will do fine. I hope you find another man that treats you right and the way that all women should be treated... with mutual love and respect. Take care.

Long