I want to Divorce my Husband & back to Phils.

[Dakine 26]

Hello Bob 4Anna

Why im overstaying for 180 days ?

I got married last April 2010

Our marriage is not legal its because im not yet process the AOS ?

In my own feelings i dont know if he treat me like a partner coz

He dont tell me anything his plan, what he doing , he dont want to tell me his financial status, whoelse spent his money, i dont have rights to know or asking anything coz he get mad if i have lots of investigation even im his wife now?

I want to know my husband very well coz im his wife now.

Im not other person in his life im his partner.

Treat him like a king and have him help you file to sdjust status and get your GC for you and your child and You can then think about what you want to do.

[Heart-Broken 1]

Treat him like a king and have him help you file to sdjust status and get your GC for you and your child and You can then think about what you want to do.

im so tired and trying to be more patience w/him but it sounds i dont know

i tell him to be frankly w/me so that im not wasting my time here staying but my status here is unconditional

Edited August 18, 2010 by kiddy

[sweet angel 5]

couldnt have said it better myself.

men like this are very rare! a man who will take care of a child (even after they are grown) who is not his own blood is someone to be valued, not put down. you should be thankful you have such a man, knowing he takes care of his responsibilities ... some men do not even look after their own blood children!

i feel so bad for this man hopefully she does not color his perception of all women and hopefully he finds a good one some day...

It is not bad to take care someone's child but not to the extend that the marriage will suffer in the end. And the ex-live in partner daughter is no longer a child. For heaven's sake she is already 24 yrs old!!!! She can take care of herself. I understand the wife misery here. Her husband doesn't treat her good. Especially when the husband gets angry and fight with her coz of this girl. The wife even not feel the importance of being a wife.( she mention she dont have right in his house ). And the worse part is that, hubby still keeping ex gf stuffs in their house! Show's no respect to me. I feel bad for u sis, i understand how hurt you are. But if u really care about ur status here, try to get ur GC first before decide for anything. Keep praying. Godbless

[greeny7 0]

Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? I know its always hard to speak when u only hear one side of the story but words envy, jealous, inis and the like are obviously showing the cause of all this...

I know its easier said than done but when you LEARN to REALLY LOVE your husband ie. trust him, make him your king, serve him, do not be a boss to him instead make him the boss, don't ask him to tell you the everyday detail of his life,just listen when he does, if there are any "broken fences" within the family, do your part to help mend them as soon as possible, try to be the troubleshooter not the trouble-maker, commit yourself to learning, growing and filling your mind with valuable, worthy things. Be the kind of wife that would make any husband proud. Every man loves to talk to an interesting, understanding, intellectual woman. Feed him with your love and not with your demands. We all know the saying behind a great man is a greater woman, If your marriage needs a spark, start it now and make it really happen. Your husband will thank you and will not only get rid of those ex-partner's stuff but will follow you to the ends of the earth.

He is your husband, and you marry him and love him for who HE REALLY IS and what you are just thinking who he is...there'll be a lot more to come but continue to pray for the love to grow more and more whatever the circumstances are.

A gentle answer deflects anger but harsh words make tempers flare. Try not to ask about his finances and where he bring his money...men hate this. Try not to rant about his ex-partner's daughter.

I fully, deeply wish you good life, happy marriage and stability!God bless!

[nab 74]

It is not bad to take care someone's child but not to the extend that the marriage will suffer in the end. And the ex-live in partner daughter is no longer a child. For heaven's sake she is already 24 yrs old!!!! She can take care of herself. I understand the wife misery here. Her husband doesn't treat her good. Especially when the husband gets angry and fight with her coz of this girl. The wife even not feel the importance of being a wife.( she mention she dont have right in his house ). And the worse part is that, hubby still keeping ex gf stuffs in their house! Show's no respect to me. I feel bad for u sis, i understand how hurt you are. But if u really care about ur status here, try to get ur GC first before decide for anything. Keep praying. Godbless

the "ex" wasnt an "ex", she DIED... big difference. and doesnt matter, a child isnt a disposable item, they are people and those ties are there forever, whether there was a split up or a death.

so in your eyes once a child is grown they are no longer a child of the person? interesting. even though i've been out of the house since i was 16yo i am still my father's daughter... and i know my children will always be my babies till i am dead, so sorry, i cant relate to your mindset. i cant imagine abandoning a child (grown or not!), especially after their other parent has died...

perhaps this OP belongs more with the biological dad of this step-daugher, sounds like he knows how to break off ties and not live up to his responsibilities. but then again, perhaps he wouldnt be willing to support the 4yo baggage she's carrying like her big-hearted husband does...

[Heart-Broken 1]

It is not bad to take care someone's child but not to the extend that the marriage will suffer in the end. And the ex-live in partner daughter is no longer a child. For heaven's sake she is already 24 yrs old!!!! She can take care of herself. I understand the wife misery here. Her husband doesn't treat her good. Especially when the husband gets angry and fight with her coz of this girl. The wife even not feel the importance of being a wife.( she mention she dont have right in his house ). And the worse part is that, hubby still keeping ex gf stuffs in their house! Show's no respect to me. I feel bad for u sis, i understand how hurt you are. But if u really care about ur status here, try to get ur GC first before decide for anything. Keep praying. Godbless

thank you so much angel for the time sharing your opinion

i put here the real situation so that everyones here understand

im telling the 2sides also....coz how everybodys understand me if im hiding the real story

yes, makes me hurt so much that he take to fight w/me if im complaining about the daughter that i mention above.

i dont know...my heart so tired & i want to go home...

but how...he dont want to get me a tickets.....

[nab 74]

Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? I know its always hard to speak when u only hear one side of the story but words envy, jealous, inis and the like are obviously showing the cause of all this...

I know its easier said than done but when you LEARN to REALLY LOVE your husband ie. trust him, make him your king, serve him, do not be a boss to him instead make him the boss, don't ask him to tell you the everyday detail of his life,just listen when he does, if there are any "broken fences" within the family, do your part to help mend them as soon as possible, try to be the troubleshooter not the trouble-maker, commit yourself to learning, growing and filling your mind with valuable, worthy things. Be the kind of wife that would make any husband proud. Every man loves to talk to an interesting, understanding, intellectual woman. Feed him with your love and not with your demands. We all know the saying behind a great man is a greater woman, If your marriage needs a spark, start it now and make it really happen. Your husband will thank you and will not only get rid of those ex-partner's stuff but will follow you to the ends of the earth.

He is your husband, and you marry him and love him for who HE REALLY IS and what you are just thinking who he is...there'll be a lot more to come but continue to pray for the love to grow more and more whatever the circumstances are.

A gentle answer deflects anger but harsh words make tempers flare. Try not to ask about his finances and where he bring his money...men hate this. Try not to rant about his ex-partner's daughter.

I fully, deeply wish you good life, happy marriage and stability!God bless!

+1000

people reflect back to us what we give them... show him love and understanding and he will be open to understanding your feelings.

[Heart-Broken 1]

Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? I know its always hard to speak when u only hear one side of the story but words envy, jealous, inis and the like are obviously showing the cause of all this...

I know its easier said than done but when you LEARN to REALLY LOVE your husband ie. trust him, make him your king, serve him, do not be a boss to him instead make him the boss, don't ask him to tell you the everyday detail of his life,just listen when he does, if there are any "broken fences" within the family, do your part to help mend them as soon as possible, try to be the troubleshooter not the trouble-maker, commit yourself to learning, growing and filling your mind with valuable, worthy things. Be the kind of wife that would make any husband proud. Every man loves to talk to an interesting, understanding, intellectual woman. Feed him with your love and not with your demands. We all know the saying behind a great man is a greater woman, If your marriage needs a spark, start it now and make it really happen. Your husband will thank you and will not only get rid of those ex-partner's stuff but will follow you to the ends of the earth.

He is your husband, and you marry him and love him for who HE REALLY IS and what you are just thinking who he is...there'll be a lot more to come but continue to pray for the love to grow more and more whatever the circumstances are.

A gentle answer deflects anger but harsh words make tempers flare. Try not to ask about his finances and where he bring his money...men hate this. Try not to rant about his ex-partner's daughter.

tnx by the way ....

understand why is it your husband still keeping the stuff of his xgf ?

your not insulted that everytime you get in you saw that ?

were human that feel hurt....

our heart is not stone except if our intention to marry him just for the US

you dont care what his intention why until now he keep that even his married w/u now ?

sorry if we have different feelings.....

[sweet angel 5]

the "ex" wasnt an "ex", she DIED... big difference. and doesnt matter, a child isnt a disposable item, they are people and those ties are there forever, whether there was a split up or a death.

so in your eyes once a child is grown they are no longer a child of the person? interesting. even though i've been out of the house since i was 16yo i am still my father's daughter... and i know my children will always be my babies till i am dead, so sorry, i cant relate to your mindset. i cant imagine abandoning a child (grown or not!), especially after their other parent has died...

perhaps this OP belongs more with the biological dad of this step-daugher, sounds like he knows how to break off ties and not live up to his responsibilities. but then again, perhaps he wouldnt be willing to support the 4yo baggage she's carrying like her big-hearted husband does...

I'm not saying abandoning the child. I'm saying here, she is already 24 yrs old. And here in the US, 18 yrs old is already independent. Have their own life, work, etc. And this girl has still a biological father and brother whom she can turn to. And maybe it's time for the american husband to take care his own family. The OP only want's to treat her fair and feel important as what the hubby gave importance to the step daughter.

Edited August 18, 2010 by sweet angel

[sweet angel 5]

thank you so much angel for the time sharing your opinion

i put here the real situation so that everyones here understand

im telling the 2sides also....coz how everybodys understand me if im hiding the real story

yes, makes me hurt so much that he take to fight w/me if im complaining about the daughter that i mention above.

i dont know...my heart so tired & i want to go home...

but how...he dont want to get me a tickets.....

Sis, try to save ur marriage until u can. But if u try and still fail, and he doesn't want u to buy tickets to go home, u can try contact the phil. consulate near u to ask for help to go back to the Phil.

[greeny7 0]

i exactly know what you mean...and i have the empathy for you that is when i put myself on your shoe i would surely FEEL the same BUT not ACT the same...

why would i feel insulted? i have a brother who died and left a wife and a four year-old daughter, after 8 years my sister in law married again, and we are feeling so blessed coz my kuya's stuffs is in 'their' house, my sister in law is still keeping my kuya and her's memorabilia. On their wedding, my mother and my sister in law's mother walked her down the aisle...isn't it great? The now husband loves our niece as his own, provide for her studies here in Manila and even treat us like we are his immediate relatives too. I am actually staying in their house whenever i go to Manila. We are like a one big HAPPY family. Even with his side of family,we are close and like real relatives. It's always good to be kind-hearted and better when you grow and mature.

I posted here to at least help you ease the feeling that's ruining your heart...we all surely agree that when we're in pain we want to hear the words that we only wanna hear but it helps us heal the pain when we hear words that will help us realize the VALUE of family and people.

Open-mindedness and correct mind-set will bring us to understanding and better living.

[calico1 1]

Kiddy,

I understand both your situation and your husbands. The first few months of a new marriage can be, and often is a huge adjustment for both partners. It is not uncommon for all kinds of frustrations to get hot fast. There is often baggage in the previous relationships that seem unfair to a new marriage. My heart goes out to both of you. Try your best not to focus on the hurt but rather the reason the 2 of you married. Plz take Bob's advice and adjust status as soon as possible. I know it is very hard for you in this new place right now..take some deep breaths and try to see your way clear to change what you can and accept what you can not change. I kinda get the impression you love each other..If you BOTH work on it you may find it will work out just ok. I know many members here are wishing you the very best and I certainly do too! Hang in there Kiddy

[Heart-Broken 1]

i exactly know what you mean...and i have the empathy for you that is when i put myself on your shoe i would surely FEEL the same BUT not ACT the same...

why would i feel insulted? i have a brother who died and left a wife and a four year-old daughter, after 8 years my sister in law married again, and we are feeling so blessed coz my kuya's stuffs is in 'their' house, my sister in law is still keeping my kuya and her's memorabilia. On their wedding, my mother and my sister in law's mother walked her down the aisle...isn't it great? The now husband loves our niece as his own, provide for her studies here in Manila and even treat us like we are his immediate relatives too. I am actually staying in their house whenever i go to Manila. We are like a one big HAPPY family. Even with his side of family,we are close and like real relatives. It's always good to be kind-hearted and better when you grow and mature.

I posted here to at least help you ease the feeling that's ruining your heart...we all surely agree that when we're in pain we want to hear the words that we only wanna hear but it helps us heal the pain when we hear words that will help us realize the VALUE of family and people.

Open-mindedness and correct mind-set will bring us to understanding and better living.

ok ...im asking your feelings.....

what if you married to a person that she/he still keeping the stuff inside the house?

good luck to you if you dont care.....i respect your feelings ....

but respect my feelings also....

if your not insulted ...so sorry if were not the same feelings ....

[rlogan 2,036]

I see we have people taking things out of context.

In the U.S., without extenuating circumstances a man who buys his 24 year-old daughter cars and pays her phone and insurance bills is not "helping" her, unless you mean helping her be irresponsible and not grow up to accept her responsibilities in life.

But it isn't his daughter. It isn't even his stepdaughter. It is the daughter of someone he lived with. It isn't a situation of a multi-millionaire where nobody else is lacking because of it - the wife is. Furthermore he has lied about it.

I don't know what kinds of things he is keeping. Furniture is one thing. Hanging pictures is inexcusable.

Telling her to go back to the Philippines and then refusing to allow it if she concedes? Emotionally abusive and immature.

The last question was whether I would in her shoes want to try making the relationship work. I see this as the priority, not faking it for a green card.

You need a counselor, kiddy. If he does not agree to one then no, it isn't worth trying in my view because a decent man doesn't lie to his wife, threaten, and refuse to allow her in on things. Nobody is perfect but you've said he lies repeatedly and that is a big recipe for disaster in a marriage.

The reason for a counselor is to have an impartial referee that can put a stop to the childish threats, the non-cooperation, to ask the right questions, etc.

[mari&Ryan 93]

Treat him like a king and have him help you file to sdjust status and get your GC for you and your child and You can then think about what you want to do.

It is not bad to take care someone's child but not to the extend that the marriage will suffer in the end. And the ex-live in partner daughter is no longer a child. For heaven's sake she is already 24 yrs old!!!! She can take care of herself. I understand the wife misery here. Her husband doesn't treat her good. Especially when the husband gets angry and fight with her coz of this girl. The wife even not feel the importance of being a wife.( she mention she dont have right in his house ). And the worse part is that, hubby still keeping ex gf stuffs in their house! Show's no respect to me. I feel bad for u sis, i understand how hurt you are. But if u really care about ur status here, try to get ur GC first before decide for anything. Keep praying. Godbless

hmmm