British Bun in the Oven

[Gemmie 142]

Tracy, I love the sound of the Mirena. I've never gotten one because I always knew I wanted a baby in the near future, but would definitely go for it in the future. I teach about birth control for my job, and it's one of the methods that has the least unpleasant side effects.

The reason I asked about telling your boss... there's a sticky situation at work. One of my coworkers recently took a State job as a Therapist and lied in the application, saying she had a degree when she didn't. I went along for the training just in case they needed someone to do extra hours. Well they just busted her lie when she was unable to produce transcripts, and forced her to resign. She said that I will most likely walk into the position as I have the qualifications and am already trained. Thing is, I wouldn't be entitled to a Leave of Absence when I have baby as they require you to be there for a year. So it looks like I would have to tell them about the pregnancy due to that. And then I'm hesitant to tell them I'm pregnant in case they tell my current boss (before I'm 'in the safe zone'). The bosses are all inter-connected. So you see it's a mess. It's a real big shame though because this job pays a LOT better and has better benefits.

Empress, it's great that you're so self-aware with the reasons you wanted another kid. A lot of people (in my opinion) yearn for another once the baby reaches toddler age for similar reasons, at least that's what I've witnessed (people are so honest on Facebook- I've seen so many people openly admit they want another baby because #1 or #2 is growing up too much). The Vasectomy is a lot safer and easier to reverse if that decision is ever made.

[Marilyn. 340]

I know I am an outsider but I keep following this thread..lol I love to read all the updates.

We are going to see a fertility doctor next Tuesday. We have been trying for a baby for about 2 years now. We did some initial testing a few months ago and all my parts seem to be in working order but there is an issue with my husband, most likely to do with his high blood pressure and his smoking habit I am 38 and I would like to have a baby before I hit 40..

I wanted to add that the first two times we tried I got pregnant within 3 or 4 months. the main difference back then was that my husband didn't smoke nearly as much as he does now ...

Edited August 30, 2012 by Marilyn.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Yeah, the vasectomy would definitely be the more sensible choice. Jon has mentioned he'd do it. We need to get going on that. I've never done well with hormonal contraception and would like to avoid any kind of permanent or semipermanent internal anything (even the teeny essure things). I've been a rubbers & diaphragm gal for a while now, and they have their drawbacks. Although the diaphragm is pretty retro & groovy!

Best of luck to you, Marilyn! You're always welcome in the BBITO thread!

Gemmie, I know what you mean about the toddler thing, or what people say about it when their little rugrats get to a certain stage. I do have a tiny bit of the typical, "Wow, she's not a baby anymore!" But it's about 10% "awwww!" and 90% "thank god those days are over!" I think that's why I'm discovering that I don't want the day-to-day reality of another child because I know what it's all about and how hard it can be. I guess that's partially why I'm so hopeful that my sis will have a baby, because I can experience the excitement along with her: the ultrasounds, the due date, wondering if it's a girl or boy, thinking about what he/she will look like, window shopping for baby stuff, dispensing unsolicited advice, etc. But I also know I'm not a baby person, plus I'm really lazy. I can't wait for Limita to get a little older so we can do fun stuff. I do try to take the "enjoy every stage" advice, but it can be hard. That said, Madeleine is getting more fun every day. But I miss almost nothing about the baby period except the cuddling.

OK, I'll stop because I'm starting to sound like the world's most ungrateful muthuh!

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Every man I know who has had the V has been very happy with the results, as have their wives! It's a relatively small operation compared to tubal ligation (or god forbid, a hysterectomy). My brother had it done and he was back at work in a couple of days. (I think he took an extra day off because he could, not because he needed to.)

Empress, I'll be waiting for an update from you as well. No change in my on-again-off-again discussions with the BF about reproducing. I know to some extent it's me holding things back -- it's embarrassing to relate, but I am still married to my ex, the one I've been split from for over three years. The ex and I have been lazy, and poor, and poor and lazy, and now just lazy. I have a distinct feeling that if I did file and get things underway, it would be easier on my entire relationship with the BF, not just in regards to whether or not we have kids. It's just every time I bring it up, the ex gets sad and there are buckets of tears about how flippin' sad our breakup was. And yes, I know he is not the man in my life any more, and I need to respect the needs of my partner and not my ex, but I am a softy. I think I need to put my big girl pants on though and deal with it.

Sorry for the hijack. I just needed to get that off my chest!

No problem!

My completely biased opinion: Finalize the divorce and get started trying for a kid with the BF.

I understand the softy stuff, tho. I'm still on good terms with all my exes (well, the ones who aren't dead), even The Worst Boyfriend in the World, whom I still care about quite a bit.

[Gemmie 142]

I know I am an outsider but I keep following this thread..lol I love to read all the updates.

We are going to see a fertility doctor next Tuesday. We have been trying for a baby for about 2 years now. We did some initial testing a few months ago and all my parts seem to be in working order but there is an issue with my husband, most likely to do with his high blood pressure and his smoking habit I am 38 and I would like to have a baby before I hit 40..

I wanted to add that the first two times we tried I got pregnant within 3 or 4 months. the main difference back then was that my husband didn't smoke nearly as much as he does now ...

I loved lurking in this thread to read all the preggo and baby updates. Good luck with the doctor visit. I actually had no idea how much smoking could harm fertility (only marijuana and other drugs because the people I talk about this stuff with are prison inmates, haha)- I hope everything goes smoothly for you both.

Honey Crump, I think you would feel a lot of closure if you got the ball rolling and finalized the divorce. It is very "final" but then you can focus completely on your current situation. Don't let him guilt-trip you.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Oh ladies, you are SO right. Thank you!

[Justine+David 218]

I loved lurking in this thread to read all the preggo and baby updates.

me too! No kids yet though

We'll be waiting for me to finish up graduate school in 2014. Until then, I'll have to live vicariously through this thread. I take care of sick babies for a living (I'm a RN in a NICU) and I love nearly everything about them and can't wait to have my own. But then when I occasionally float to the other pediatric floors and have whiny three year olds (who are also enormous!), I start to reconsider Hearing David talk about his rowdy high school students only makes it worse...

I'm told that when it's your own kid, it's much better. I can only hope!

Edited August 31, 2012 by Justine+David

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Hi, ladies

Good news! (knock on wood, fingers crossed, kenahora, etc.) I just got a text from my sister that they saw a heartbeat!

[Holly2234 66]

me too! No kids yet though

We'll be waiting for me to finish up graduate school in 2014. Until then, I'll have to live vicariously through this thread. I take care of sick babies for a living (I'm a RN in a NICU) and I love nearly everything about them and can't wait to have my own. But then when I occasionally float to the other pediatric floors and have whiny three year olds (who are also enormous!), I start to reconsider Hearing David talk about his rowdy high school students only makes it worse...

I'm told that when it's your own kid, it's much better. I can only hope!

Me three! I already have an 18 month old and we're cautiously considering number 2. We always wanted two but we were waiting for more money and a bigger house and all of that. We'll see what happens when i finally get my visa I dont dare get on a plane with two so im glad we waited!

[Holly2234 66]

Hi, ladies

Good news! (knock on wood, fingers crossed, kenahora, etc.) I just got a text from my sister that they saw a heartbeat!

Thats great news!

[Gemmie 142]

YES! Great news, she must be so relieved.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Thanks! It is great news. Now we can all fret over the NT scan in about three weeks.

[DiZZyLoX 114]

Woot!! We have heartbeat!!! Awesome!!

[Gemmie 142]

What is the NT scan?

The 12 week?

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Yes, it's the ultrasound that's done around 12 weeks coupled with some blood tests.